nonparticipating spouse

[Guest guest]

I officially started my BFL challenge this week. I took a few weeks

in advance to work myself into the healthy eating/getting up really

early to work out thing. That way I wouldn't go into sugar and sofa

withdrawls when my start date came around.

My wife though she was very clear about the fact that she did not

want to participate (and I accept that), did offer support over the

last couple of weeks as far as meal planning, helping me find time to

exercise, etc. Now that it's my first week of the challenge it seems

that the support has waned, possibly fallen flat on it's face!! I

have a buddy that has completed the challenge and is offering me

support as a success coach but I only see him once or twice a week.

I eat dinner with my wife every night, and the nutritional quality

has been poor the last three days and now I'm worried. She has

already become tired of eating the " healthy stuff " and purchased the

Sams Club value pack of Chips......

I guess my question is this....Does anyone have any suggestions on

how I can maintain the support of the one second-most important in my

quest for a better life, when that person has very little interest in

participating in something she doesn't (yet) see value in?

Help! It's only my second day of the challenge and I'm already in

panic!!

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

My DH is not participating in BFL with me and he

occasionally will lift a few weights and eats whatever

he wants.

He knows my goals, he witnesses my dedication, and now

he is beginning to see my results. In the beginning he

wasn't as supportive (well, not like a success coach

would be) and now he's learned to get outta my way!

The biggest thing for me (in any relationship really)

is to have confidence. Believe in the goals you've set

for yourself and don't let negative comments or

actions interfere with your focus.

For example, this weekend there was a situation where

I wanted to squeeze in a shake in between activities

when I knew my DH wanted to keep going. Instead of

blowing off the meal or getting upset I calmly told

him, " Hon, I know you want to do this but it would

really mean a lot to me if we could wait five minutes

so I can down my Myoplex. " He said, " Myo-huh? " (This

was my first venture using the product this weekend).

He said okay and we were both better off because I

communicated very nicely what I wanted. It's not

always easy to be confident but it's the best thing

for us.

C1W10D1

> I guess my question is this....Does anyone have any

> suggestions on

> how I can maintain the support of the one

> second-most important in my

> quest for a better life, when that person has very

> little interest in

> participating in something she doesn't (yet) see

> value in?

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Why don't your kids eat the same way you do? Everyone in our house

eats the BFL way. I understand that kids have to be kids, and I drew

the line, no more junk in my house. My kids eat healthy snacks like

fruit and raw veggies. My daughter ( borderline diabetic) no longer

experiences blood sugar swings and my son lost 22 lbs of fat. My

youngest, demanded, yes demanded, that I bring her good food

because " the hospital stuff is crap " . (Her exact words.)

I like to think that my husband and I are role models for our kids.

Habits we continue now are habits that will last a life time.

Glenda

Lana wrote:

My kids on the other hand have no interest

> in BFL (rightfully so). I keep stuff in the house for them to have

too..

> but it's not my trigger foods.

[Guest guest]

,

My husband is the king of junk food. He takes his coffee with half

cream (meaning half the cup is cream) and five sugars. He eats

almost continuously throughout the day and about 3/4 of it is pure

crap. He has no weight problem and this is a man who will buy

peaches in heavy syrup, ADD sugar to it, and say that is his healthy

(fruit) food for the day. Getting him near BFL is a total no go.

I know he could use the workouts but he works hard on his job and I'm

not going to push the issue. He's loving and supportive in every way

and we have a great relationship. When I was doing the Zone he

joined me for the first few weeks and really liked it but when he

grew tired of it, his dropping off undermined my success. I was

angry and frustrated with him. Therefore, when I started BFL, I did

my own thing and he did his. I used to cook 2-4 times a week but now

I really don't cook for him or my daughter unless they're willing to

eat BFL. My daughter is an incredibly picky eater but she loves

chicken, baked potato and green veggies, my standard BFL dinner and

she eats with me about 3x a week. My husband will tolerate it once a

week. He makes them pasta or they go out to eat. I really don't

mind. Me and the Foreman get along splendidly.

If your wife is supportive emotionally then cook you might need to

just cook your own food. If being together is important, maybe you

guys can plan meals together and you can cook. My husband never

ever cooked (the microwave is his closest friend) but since BFL he

has actually made a few dishes that seem edible.

However, you can live in a house full of junk food (I do) and not

fall off. My refrigerator has cream puffs in it, my cabinet has

potato chips, there are 3 kinds of ice cream in the freezer. I just

do my thing and know that come free day I can have what I want.

Hang in there. Within a couple of weeks you will not WANT junk food

anymore and you will not be hungry between meals. You will love what

BFL will do for you.

C1W12D2

[Guest guest]

Hey ,

I'm new to this BFL stuff myself and I'm lucky enough to have a supportive

wife (she's doing this with me). Sometimes a creative solution can help. You

might want to try this.

Go out and get one of those lockable fireproof boxes, the kind used to store

valuables. Lock her chips in it and give her the key. Tell her you don't

want to have access to it, and since she insists on having it in the house,

this is the only way you are not going to eat them. (If you _really_ can't

control yourself, give her both keys!) She may begin to understand how

serious you are.

If you want to be more aggressive about it, put the family insurance

policies (especially the one on her) in the box under the chips. That'll

make the point . After all, it is a fireproof strong box. ;o)

C1W2D3,

Les

-----------------------------------------

" You think too much, that's your problem.

Clever people and grocers, they weigh everything " .

-- Zorba The Greek

-----------------------------------------

----Original Message Follows----

Subject: nonparticipating spouse

Date: Mon, 11 Jun 2001 23:55:35 -0000

.....

My wife though she was very clear about the fact that she did not

want to participate (and I accept that), did offer support over the

last couple of weeks as far as meal planning, helping me find time to

exercise, etc. Now that it's my first week of the challenge it seems that

the support has waned, possibly fallen flat on it's face!!

.....

I eat dinner with my wife every night, and the nutritional quality

has been poor the last three days and now I'm worried. She has

already become tired of eating the " healthy stuff " and purchased the Sams

Club value pack of Chips......

I guess my question is this....Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can

maintain the support of the one second-most important in my quest for a

better life, when that person has very little interest in participating in

something she doesn't (yet) see value in?

.....

_________________________________________________________________

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[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I can feel your pain, I waited untill after tax-season for my

wonderful husband to start the challenge with me. And then his

dedication petered out. Okay I was depressed for a week, and another

week felt betrayal. But you know hey I am responsible for my self,and

that is where this road begins. SO quit complaining that you might

have to fend for your self and get up off of your lazy a** and make

your dinner. (sorry if I am harsh here) But really if you think of

those chips as poisin they will be. (okay I had previous issues with

girl scout cookies) evil, bad no good girl scouts.

Here is the real story you are a big boy and you are

king of your world. When you controll what goes into your mouth you

will be a happier camper...One day, one meal at a time, only 82 left

to go..

All my best to you,

hope I wasn't too hard on ya.

> I officially started my BFL challenge this week. I took a few

weeks

> in advance to work myself into the healthy eating/getting up really

> early to work out thing. That way I wouldn't go into sugar and

sofa

> withdrawls when my start date came around.

>

> My wife though she was very clear about the fact that she did not

> want to participate (and I accept that), did offer support over the

> last couple of weeks as far as meal planning, helping me find time

to

> exercise, etc. Now that it's my first week of the challenge it

seems

> that the support has waned, possibly fallen flat on it's face!! I

> have a buddy that has completed the challenge and is offering me

> support as a success coach but I only see him once or twice a

week.

> I eat dinner with my wife every night, and the nutritional quality

> has been poor the last three days and now I'm worried. She has

> already become tired of eating the " healthy stuff " and purchased

the

> Sams Club value pack of Chips......

>

> I guess my question is this....Does anyone have any suggestions on

> how I can maintain the support of the one second-most important in

my

> quest for a better life, when that person has very little interest

in

> participating in something she doesn't (yet) see value in?

>

> Help! It's only my second day of the challenge and I'm already in

> panic!!