Living my integrity in a marriage

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Living my integrity in a marriage

Lets say that I am married (it can happen, dahh)

One day I fall in love with another man and there is nothing I can do about

that.

I meet him (the lover) secretly cause I have the story that my husband would

be hurt by the truth.

After a while, I notice that it doesn't feel right to me to live this double

life and lie.

I will sit down and do a self-scrutiny.

self-scrutiny means I will ask myself these question:

1. Why did I cheat?

Is there anything missing in my marriage that I have found with my lover?

Yes? No?

If the answer is yes, I will do a list of all the things I got with my lover

that I didn't get with my husband:

~ physical attraction

~ better communication

~ common interest (we both play golf)

Whatever

Than I will ask myself, cause I don't want to cheat anymore, I want to have

only *ONE* man

I will say:

I want to live my life with ____ (the husband name)

and than

I want to live with _____ (the lover name)

And I try to sense which sentence

Opens my heart,

relaxes my posture,

gets a da vinci smile on my face

opens my chest and causes an inner expansion

Now: we always have our mind to tell us where we *should* be

the mind comes from the logic point of view, and I wouldn't listen to him

That is what I call follow my heart, with no reason.

If my heart opens up to the option of being with my husband, that is where I

need to be!

vice versa with the lover...

I will go to my husband and be open to him and say:

I love you, and...

I feel that physically you don't respond to me, can we work on it?

I love you, and I want to open up the communication between us, do you think

we can try it?

So, the lover can become a gift in the way that he showed me what was

missing in my marriage.

If I feel an inner no to be with my husband

and the only reason I stay with him is because the logic tells me to do so,

cause:

He will get hurt if I will live him

The children will get hurt

I couldn't be financial independent if I will get divorce

This voice comes out of fear and listening to it will not cause happiness

not to me and not to anyone around me

(that is my religion!)

I will go to my husband, and say to him:

Lately I have been thinking about our relationship

I have discovered that I am not attracted to you physically,

Or

I have discovered that

I don't love you anymore

bla bla bla - *HONESTY* !

Than I would say:

I don't want to hurt anyone by living you, cause I care about you

I am confused

* what do you suggest me to do? *

And be a listener, maybe your partner will have a good solution

you don't need to go to him with a conclusion unless you are sure that you

want a divorce.

In most cases your partner will do the " right " thing

and let go of you, or not.

It reminds me of the the work did with employers and employees.

The boss did the work infront of his employ and said that the only reason he

didn't fire her yet

cause she has children and he doesn't want to take her livelihood.

When she heard that, she... fired herself

(p.s, don't worry she founded a better job)

Any questions?

Love, T