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Re: my son & story

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Hi Tess

I didn't know that you have had throat surgery but I

am glad to hear that the outcome was as planned. My

husband snores really loud and then it sounds as

though he doesn't breathe until a little gasp and then

he slightly wakes up. He does this all night and I

don't think that he ever sleeps all the way through

the night. What do they do to check this out?

I understand your anguish over your son. My 21 year

old blames me for everything that is wrong with his

life instead of taking responsibility. He doesn't

call or come over but he does allow me to have my

granddaughter at least one night a week. I am hoping

that he will grow up in the next few years. I have had

to harden my heart toward him as not to let him

continue in these destructive behaviors. At the same

time, I let him know I will always be here for him.

I know that you were a wonderful mother and that if

you hadn't have been, your son would not feel as

though he could contact you. We mothers must forever

live with hope in our hearts, for if we don't have

hope, they can't see themselves in the light of

redemption. We have to imagine for them until they can

see.

Hugs. Iris

> he was hanging around with some unsavory folks.

>

> Something else that seems almost eerie to me...the

> lady he was so close

> to, just died last week from complications from

> gastric bypass obesity

> surgery. She came through surgery ok, but developed

> leaks at her inner

> suture sights, then her blood pressure rocketed and

> her kidneys failed.

> She became comatose then passed away. I don't want

> to read too much

> into this, but this was the same surgery I was

> looking into.

>

> Any thoughts???

>

> He might come to Oregon next month. Prayers

> needed!

>

> Love & Hugs.....

>

> Tess

>

>

__________________________________________________

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Hi Iris...what a lovely post. Thank you.

I had ENORMOUS tonsils that were obstructing my airway, plus a deviated

septum. While doing all that, they removed the uvula & surrounding

tissues, then cleaned out my sinuses! Yikes!! NO FUN! But, it REALLY

helped.

The first step is to see an ENT Dr. or a pulmonologist. From there,

they might order a sleep study where they monitor you all night. Before

surgery I was having up to 100 episodes of apnea (stopped breathing) per

hour. Now, I have NONE!! Part of my problem was my physiology -

completly out of my control. My ENT had never, in his lengthy career,

extracted tonsils as big as mine. The hypopnea I have now is because I

am SO overweight. So I do need to do my best to lose some weight.

I used to be a loud snorer and gasp for air at night. Now, I purr like

a quiet little kitten!

Love & Hugs....

Tess

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<PRE>wow tess, that is a big coincidence!!! i know i am afraid of that surgery.

i

am trying to put more healthy foods in my life each time i eat. just seems

too much. do you ever get to eat again? i really don't know. just the thought

of them cutting me open for that. my friend spent 5000 on liposuction. she

lost 10 lbs. what a waste of money. oh well. as far as your son. being the

" black sheep " of my family, they have always been there for me. (financially

way too much) i complain about them when they ride me, but they do it because

they love me and want the best for me and my son. but my family has shown me

that blood, should always be there for you. no matter what. i am sorry for

your son's loss. hopefully he will see how precious life is and make the best

of what he has . kathy in il

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Dear Tess,

I am glad to hear that your son has contacted you after all this time. I

know that you are probably very excited. I would agree with your daughters,

however, and be cautious. I know that it is a terrible attitude to have

toward your son, and I don't know if I would be able to do it. It may be a

good idea to have more phone contact and see how he is really doing and what

is going on in his life. I would hate to see you get hurt, physically or

emotionally, over this. I know that it already hurts you emotionally and

only you know what you can handle. It is terrible that his girlfriend passed

away. Unfortunately, as we are finding out with Debs, there are dr's out

there who really don't care as much as they should and are not as careful as

they should be. I will pray for guidance for you to make the right decision.

Love and Hugs

Stacey in PA

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Tess,

I hope your son is genuine, and not looking for anything except to have you

back in his life. I understand your daughter¹s fears and would be very

careful especially since his friends aren¹t the best. Kids do grow up and

feel bad for what they put their parents through (yes, I am speaking from

experience). But some don¹t. Only you will know where you¹re son¹s heart

is. Follow and trust your instincts.

It¹s pretty eerie that this happened to someone so close to him. Maybe

it¹s a message.

I truly believe that you can take control of your diet and make positive

changes and avoid major surgery. When I changed my diet, it was hard in the

beginning, but now it is a way of life and I love it. I don¹t even want the

junk. I look at is as pain. I enjoy tracking what I eat, counting my

vitamin and mineral intake and figuring out what I have to eat to make my

daily diet complete.

I am never hungry because I¹m always eating. But I¹m eating healthy things.

Nuts are great fro me because it satisfies my crunching urge. Celery and

peanut butter is a favorite. And of course the fruit is plentiful. I

started seriously in February with one thing to eliminate, refined sugar. I

know that is hard for most people, but this is your life. I¹ll get off my

soapbox.

I¹m glad your sleep apnea is gone! That is such great news. Things are

looking up for you Tess.

Hugs,

a

> Hi....some of you know I have a son, age 26, who is moderately

> handicapped, and has lived in Nevada for a couple years. Sowing his

> oats, being angry at many things, in little contact with us. He has

> been in my prayers constantly. None of us had heard from him in nearly

> a year, and then it was not good.

>

> He called late Sunday night. He sounded like our - not the

> gruff, angry voice we had last heard. He has recently lost someone he

> felt very close to in Nevada, and told me he loved me, and wanted to

> make amends for the past couple years. He said he had to get ahold of

> his emotions, and take a good look at things.

>

> My mother's heart was SO GLAD to hear his voice, that he is at least

> relatively ok. I know he still has a boatload of troubles, but he is

> trying. I thank God for that.

>

> My 3 daughters, though glad he called, are telling me to be cautious -

> he was hanging around with some unsavory folks.

>

> Something else that seems almost eerie to me...the lady he was so close

> to, just died last week from complications from gastric bypass obesity

> surgery. She came through surgery ok, but developed leaks at her inner

> suture sights, then her blood pressure rocketed and her kidneys failed.

> She became comatose then passed away. I don't want to read too much

> into this, but this was the same surgery I was looking into.

>

> Any thoughts???

>

> He might come to Oregon next month. Prayers needed!

>

> Love & Hugs.....

>

> Tess

>

>

>

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Hi a....thanks for the encouragement and caring. I will be cautious

regarding my son...I know I really want to see hope, the positive, the

glass half-full - that's my nature. Sometimes I have to get my emotions

out of the way cause I need to use my head, and my gut.

I've wondered, as well, if the news about 's friend dying from

gastric bypass surgery complications was a confirmation for me not to go

that path. I have sought the opportunity to have a consult regarding

it, but I never felt peace about pushing the issue further. I know some

folks really believe it has been their miracle. But I don't believe

it's the answer for every obese person. Just a few days ago I started

writing down what I eat - I really desire to lose some weight and get

healthier. The emotional components are absolutely the hardest part of

this for me. I know that food, at times, is a " drug " for me - a way to

stop the pain. Here is where I can really use some prayer...I need

God's help " bigtime " !

a, I appreciate your insight, and you sharing your own experience.

Thank you for your willingness to do so.

Much Love & Many Hugs...

Tess

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