RE: Thought this was pretty funny

[Guest guest]

This comes from a Catholic elementary school.

Kids were asked questions

about the Old and New Testaments. They have not

been retouched or

corrected (i.e., incorrect spelling has been

left in).

^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^

In the first book of the bible, Guinessis, God

got tired of creating the

world, so he took the Sabbath off.

^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^

Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree.

^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^

Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark.

^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^

Noah built an ark, which the animals come on to

in pears.

^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^

Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a

ball of fire by night.

^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^

The Jews were a proud people and throughout

history they had trouble

with the unsympathetic Genitals.

^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^

Samson was a strongman who let himself be led

astray by a Jezebel

like Delilah.

^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^

Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they

made unleavened bread

which is bread without any ingredients.

^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^

The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert.

Afterwards, Moses went up

on Mount Cyanide to get the ten ammendments.

^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^

The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit

adultery.

^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^

Moses died before he ever reached Canada. Then

led the Hebrews in

the battle of Geritol.

^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^

The greatest miracle in the Bible is when

told his son to stand

still and he obeyed him.

^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^

was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the

liar. He fought with the

Finklesteins, a race of people who lived in

Biblical times.

^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^

, one of 's sons, had 300 wives and

700 porcupines.

^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^

When heard that she was the mother of

Jesus, she sang the Magna

Carta.

^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^

When the three wise guys from the east side

arrived, they found Jesus in

the manager.

^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^

Jesus was born because had an immaculate

contraption.

^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^

Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to

do one to others before

they do one to you. He also explained, " a man

doth not live by sweat

alone. "

^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^

It was a miracle when Jesus rose from the dead

and managed to get the

tombstone off the entrance.

^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^

The people who followed the lord were called the

12 decibels. The

epistles were the wives of the apostles.

^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^

One of the opossums was St. who was also

a taximan.

^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^

St. cavorted to Christianity. He preached

holy acrimony, which is

another name for marriage.

^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^

Christians have only one spouse. This is called

monotony.

Kathi in OK