Re: I need your prayers tonight

[Guest guest]

<PRE>jan sorry you have been in so much pain lately. i can't take vicodin

either.

it makes me sick to my stomach. i wish you were closer. i'd toss the salads

for you. there always seems to be too much food at those picnics anyway. i'm

sure your family will understand. i hope you are having a good time and will

be able to rest up when it's over. hang in there. kathy in il

[Guest guest]

<PRE>jan i'm glad you had a nice time. sorry you are not feeling well. hope you

feel better soon. kathy in il

[Guest guest]

Kathy: Thank you for thinking of me. I still haven't taken the Vicodin because

the pain has subsided to a tolerable level. After awhile you kinda get used to

a certain level or pain. But, I have it if it gets worse tonight. The reunion

picnic went ok and saw quite a few people that I hadn't seen in two years since

the last one and some who had not been back to San Diego for over 15 -20 years.

Everyone was especially nice to me and went for my food and other things like

that. And I did not overeat. I had a bagle for breakfast and the food was

served at around 1. I managed to eat a homemade cookie and 1 piece of fudge,

lots of fruit and a hamburger pattie with lettuce and tomato - no bun. I gave

up bread except for an occasional bagel and a once or twice a month tuna

sandwich at work. Other times, I usually eat the tuna with everything that

goes into a sandwich which kinda makes it like a salad. I sat in a canvas chair

with arms, it was so much easier to get up and down when I had to move. The

only thing that plagued me today was the 3 places I had to stop and find a

restroom, 4 times at the park, and 2 on the way home. I must be coming down

with something - could be all the stress I've put my body through this week.

It's 6:30 and I am in for the night. Will probably check my messages one more

time tonight, but I have a feeling I am really going to sleep tonight. The pain

level is down to a 5 from close to a 9 yesterday. Thanks to you and everyone

else that wished and prayed the pain away. I believe in the power of prayer

and I know it worked last night. Love, prayers, and positive thoughts.

Jan in CA +/:=)

kringlemom@... wrote:<PRE>jan sorry you have been in so much pain lately. i

can't take vicodin either.

it makes me sick to my stomach. i wish you were closer. i'd toss the salads

for you. there always seems to be too much food at those picnics anyway. i'm

sure your family will understand. i hope you are having a good time and will

be able to rest up when it's over. hang in there. kathy in il

[Guest guest]

Jan Tully wrote: " ...and a hamburger pattie with lettuce and tomato - no

bun. "

Jan, this made me smile. Years ago a friend of mine was determined to

diet. She was a hoot to be around anyway, always something funny going

on. She was such a " feel good " person to be around. Well, when we

worked midnights, we would go into one of the fast food places before

work and eat and sit for hour or two... and one night after she had

started her diet, she kept saying " I want a Fish Sandwich " .. So when

her turn came to order, she said, " Fish Sandwich...hold the Sauce...hold

the bun... & a Diet Pepsi. " The lady said, " Well that's not a fish

SANDWICH! " And she said, " Surely I CAN 'have it MY way'? " And the lady

kept insisting this was not a fish SANDWICH. So said, " Ok...can

you hold the sauce, and I will just throw away the bun? " The lady

shouted to the back, " Fish Sandwich! Hold the sauce! "

We laughed all night about this. Thanks for " reminding " me of a good

friend and time with her!

I Pray you have that good night of sleep and pain free.

Susie

>

> Kathy: Thank you for thinking of me. I still haven't taken the

> Vicodin because the pain has subsided to a tolerable level. After

> awhile you kinda get used to a certain level or pain. But, I have it

> if it gets worse tonight. The reunion picnic went ok and saw quite a

> few people that I hadn't seen in two years since the last one and some

> who had not been back to San Diego for over 15 -20 years. Everyone

> was especially nice to me and went for my food and other things like

> that. And I did not overeat. I had a bagle for breakfast and the

> food was served at around 1. I managed to eat a homemade cookie and 1

> piece of fudge, lots of fruit and a hamburger pattie with lettuce and

> tomato - no bun. I gave up bread except for an occasional bagel and a

> once or twice a month tuna sandwich at work. Other times, I usually

> eat the tuna with everything that goes into a sandwich which kinda

> makes it like a salad. I sat in a canvas chair with arms, it was so

> much easier to get up and down when I had to move. The only thing

> that plagued me today was the 3 places I had to stop and find a

> restroom, 4 times at the park, and 2 on the way home. I must be

> coming down with something - could be all the stress I've put my body

> through this week. It's 6:30 and I am in for the night. Will

> probably check my messages one more time tonight, but I have a feeling

> I am really going to sleep tonight. The pain level is down to a 5

> from close to a 9 yesterday. Thanks to you and everyone else that

> wished and prayed the pain away. I believe in the power of prayer

> and I know it worked last night. Love, prayers, and positive

> thoughts. Jan in CA +/:=)

> kringlemom@... wrote:<PRE>jan sorry you have been in so much pain

> lately. i can't take vicodin either.

> it makes me sick to my stomach. i wish you were closer. i'd toss the

> salads

> for you. there always seems to be too much food at those picnics

> anyway. i'm

> sure your family will understand. i hope you are having a good time

> and will

> be able to rest up when it's over. hang in there. kathy in il

>

>

[Guest guest]

I ordered a pattie only from " 's " by the house a few weeks ago and the gal

at the window was thrown into such a loopy mode and said that they couldn't do

it. She had never heard of doing it and was not able to comphend how to to do

it. Years ago, I had a small(chihuahua - toy terrier looked like overgrown

chihuahua) that I had for 12 years. I used to order her pattie only and never

had a problem. Guess times have changed. Some fast foods used to have a

special rate for a " doggie pattie' " Thank you Susie for the kind thoughts.

You have a restful night also.

susan headley wrote:Jan Tully wrote: " ...and a hamburger pattie with lettuce

and tomato - no

bun. "

Jan, this made me smile. Years ago a friend of mine was determined to

diet. She was a hoot to be around anyway, always something funny going

on. She was such a " feel good " person to be around. Well, when we

worked midnights, we would go into one of the fast food places before

work and eat and sit for hour or two... and one night after she had

started her diet, she kept saying " I want a Fish Sandwich " .. So when

her turn came to order, she said, " Fish Sandwich...hold the Sauce...hold

the bun... & a Diet Pepsi. " The lady said, " Well that's not a fish

SANDWICH! " And she said, " Surely I CAN 'have it MY way'? " And the lady

kept insisting this was not a fish SANDWICH. So said, " Ok...can

you hold the sauce, and I will just throw away the bun? " The lady

shouted to the back, " Fish Sandwich! Hold the sauce! "

We laughed all night about this. Thanks for " reminding " me of a good

friend and time with her!

I Pray you have that good night of sleep and pain free.

Susie

>

> Kathy: Thank you for thinking of me. I still haven't taken the

> Vicodin because the pain has subsided to a tolerable level. After

> awhile you kinda get used to a certain level or pain. But, I have it

> if it gets worse tonight. The reunion picnic went ok and saw quite a

> few people that I hadn't seen in two years since the last one and some

> who had not been back to San Diego for over 15 -20 years. Everyone

> was especially nice to me and went for my food and other things like

> that. And I did not overeat. I had a bagle for breakfast and the

> food was served at around 1. I managed to eat a homemade cookie and 1

> piece of fudge, lots of fruit and a hamburger pattie with lettuce and

> tomato - no bun. I gave up bread except for an occasional bagel and a

> once or twice a month tuna sandwich at work. Other times, I usually

> eat the tuna with everything that goes into a sandwich which kinda

> makes it like a salad. I sat in a canvas chair with arms, it was so

> much easier to get up and down when I had to move. The only thing

> that plagued me today was the 3 places I had to stop and find a

> restroom, 4 times at the park, and 2 on the way home. I must be

> coming down with something - could be all the stress I've put my body

> through this week. It's 6:30 and I am in for the night. Will

> probably check my messages one more time tonight, but I have a feeling

> I am really going to sleep tonight. The pain level is down to a 5

> from close to a 9 yesterday. Thanks to you and everyone else that

> wished and prayed the pain away. I believe in the power of prayer

> and I know it worked last night. Love, prayers, and positive

> thoughts. Jan in CA +/:=)

> kringlemom@... wrote:<PRE>jan sorry you have been in so much pain

> lately. i can't take vicodin either.

> it makes me sick to my stomach. i wish you were closer. i'd toss the

> salads

> for you. there always seems to be too much food at those picnics

> anyway. i'm

> sure your family will understand. i hope you are having a good time

> and will

> be able to rest up when it's over. hang in there. kathy in il

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thank you Kathy. I hope you have a good night tonight. Jan in CA +/:=)

kringlemom@... wrote:<PRE>jan i'm glad you had a nice time. sorry you are

not feeling well. hope you

feel better soon. kathy in il

[Guest guest]

Jan,

Kathi is right on here. I believe she asks a very important question,

too: " Why don't you do this for yourself? "

It is normal, given the social climate we live in, to have fears about

getting " hooked " or addicted, but these concerns are not based on fact.

Unless you have a history of substance abuse (and even then people with

a history of addiction can be treated for their pain safely and

successfully), addiction should not be your biggest concern. For those

who take opioids for chronic, serious pain, addiction is uncommon.

Having your life ruled and ruined by pain is a needless consequence of

refusing pain medication.

There are many approaches to treating pain. Not all solutions must

include narcotics although they are certainly appropriate and very

effective in many situations. Finding a good pain management clinic near

you would be a wise move, especially if you don't currently have a

physician who is willing to work with you to treat your pain

effectively.

Your mother's story, as sad as it is, was not so much a problem with

Vicodin as with the physicians who were supposed to be caring for her.

Don't let the memories of her experience prevent you from getting the

treatment you need and deserve. There are many, many pain management

strategies and medications that work.

Maybe you have seen in our past discussions mention of diabetics who use

insulin, RA patients on daily prednisone, and hypothyroid patients who

take replacement hormones. Do we refer to such people as insulin

addicts, prednisone addicts, and Synthroid addicts? No, we don't. Yet,

these people take medication each day that they are dependent on (not

addicted to) to be able to feel well. Is there really any difference

between them and a person who suffers from chronic pain and needs pain

medication to feel well? Absolutely not! It is important to realize that

dependence is not equivalent to addiction.

If the level of pain you experience is such that you are dreading the

next day and wondering how you will face it, you need help. Please, Jan,

see someone and discuss your pain and fears and get some relief. You do

not have to " grin and bear it " as so many people do (or are told to do).

Getting the most accurate diagnosis you possibly can would be the best

first step so that your pain can be treated most appropriately,

effectively, and quickly.

Please read these, Jan:

" Pain, pain, Go Away ... New standards should reduce suffering for those

with chronic pain " from Rx Magazine:

http://rx.magazine.tripod.com/ph_20010416.htm

Chronic pain fact sheet from the Chronic Syndrome Support Association:

http://www.cssa-inc.org/Articles/Chronic_Pain.htm

" Chronic Pain: The Case for Opioids " from Hospital Practice:

http://www.hosppract.com/issues/2000/09/brook.htm

Re: [ ] I need your prayers tonight

> Jan: Please dont feel that taking a pain killer will

> make you an addict......I also felt this way at one

> time....grew up in a house where my dad used to say

> there is no middle man it is straight to the

> morgue...he felt all docs were nuts and a pill was for

> people that were sick in the head....I refused pain

> pills for a long time....then I added more problems

> for myself as I became extremely depressed.....I was

> told any time you deal with chronic pain on a day to

> day basis even the strongest minded people will become

> depressed......with all that comes with these diseases

> if they can give you some relief from the pain why

> shouldnt you do this for yourself....I have been on

> some very strong pain relievers and am not

> addicted....

> a and have posted some wonderful articles on

> pain relief and how people with chronic pain dont

> become addicted, as it is really being used for pain,

> as far as reactions there are other pain killers out

> there besides vicodin....I am sure a and will

> have greater input than I...but please

> reconsider....no one should have to be in constant

> pain.....you dont deserve this.......Kathi in OK

> --- Jan Tully <camommacat2@...> wrote:

> >

> > I am in complete misery tonight. Every muscle from

> > my hip to my ankles are screaming and I find it very

> > hard to move. I managed to get through work ok but

> > it was very hard to conceal how much pain I was in.

> > I can barely get up or down to a sitting position

> > and have to take very slow, mincing steps. I came

> > home from work and laid down for just a few minutes

> > and it is now 4 hours later. I had to get up to put

> > a load of clothes in the machine. I called my

> > doctor before noon and left a message that I needed

> > a painkiller or muscle relaxer to get me through the

> > weekend and she didn't call me back so I thought

> > that she's like all the other doctors I have had in

> > the past. Around 7:30 or so I called the pharmacy

> > for another prescription that I hadn't picked up yet

> > and wanted to tell them I'd be in in the morning.

> > My doctor had called in a prescription for Vicodin.

> > I never ask for medication of a painkiller variety

> > because I don't want to get hooked on them and will

> > tolerate the pain as long as I can before I will

> > ask. I normally get Tyelenol w/codine because so

> > far it has been the only one that I had not become

> > allergic to and I am allergic to some big time

> > painkiller that would be given to me after surgeries

> > many years ago. I usually only take the T-w/C only

> > to take the edge off and then tolerate the pain

> > after that. I have been offered Vicodine in the

> > past and have refused it because of what it did to

> > my mother. I think now she may have had FMS and RA

> > but her doctors wouldn't treat her other than

> > shoving Vicodine at her. She had hallucinations and

> > some wild reactions so I just never wanted to take

> > it. I took her off it during the years before she

> > died without her knowing about it by substituting

> > coated asprins and she never knew the difference.

> > The stupid dr refused to treat her other than the

> > Vicodine and even told me on her last visit to him

> > " She's 83, why don't you just take her home and let

> > her die. " And this was right in front of her. I

> > never let her go back to him and got a wonderful,

> > caring woman doctor in another health care system.

> > Because of this doctor, she lived until 2 months

> > before her 86th birthday. The pain was not really

> > addressed but she was made more confortable and had

> > a little more quality of life before she died. My

> > doctor said to take 1 - 2 tablets every 8 hours as

> > needed but I had a talk with the pharmacist and told

> > her my fears. She suggested that I could take 1/2

> > tablet and that it should take the edge off of the

> > pain and make it tolerable. I will pick up the

> > medication in the morning and start it a little

> > later. There is a family reunion tomorrow starting

> > at 11 and going to 5 and everyone has been so nice

> > about this. I was supposed to make my famous potato

> > salad and a macaroni and tuna salad but am not able

> > to stand long enough to put the eggs on to boil let

> > alone make the salads. They just said to come and

> > take it easy. Please remember me in your prayers

> > tonight. I don't know if I could face tomorrow if

> > this degree of pain is there to greet and remain

> > with me all day. Right now, I just want to curl up

> > and vegetate. My daughter is coming down from the

> > Army base she is on and my grandson is really

> > looking forward to it. Well, I've had my whine -

> > where's the cheese? Hope I haven't gone on to long.

> > I will be remembering you all tonight in prayer.

> > If I am unable to get some rest soon, that's what I

> > will be doing all night.

> >

> > Love, prayers, and if I had the strength....many

> > hugs. Jan in CA +/:=)

[Guest guest]

Thanks for the links. I've looked at them briefly and will print them out at

work tomrrow. They look extremly interesting and there is also a place to

access addressing obesity in later life relating to depression in younger

children that looks to be promising for more infomation. I am pretty sure I was

depressed as a child and so was my younger daughter. It will be easier to have

it printed and take time to digest it. Thanks again for your hard work to find

us the information. I haven't taken any pain pills this morning just the usual

2 extra-strength Tylenol. But I promise, I will talk it over with my doctor. I

think she is very understanding and compassionate. Where else do you find a

doctor, based on just a few visits, that knows that I never ask for pain

pills(also in my health history)and calls in an order for 30 Vicodin when all I

asked for was 2 or 3 painkillers or muscle relaxers for just the weekend.

Thank you for your support and concern. Love, prayers, and positive thougts.

Jan

wrote:Jan,

Kathi is right on here. I believe she asks a very important question,

too: " Why don't you do this for yourself? "

It is normal, given the social climate we live in, to have fears about

getting " hooked " or addicted, but these concerns are not based on fact.

Unless you have a history of substance abuse (and even then people with

a history of addiction can be treated for their pain safely and

successfully), addiction should not be your biggest concern. For those

who take opioids for chronic, serious pain, addiction is uncommon.

Having your life ruled and ruined by pain is a needless consequence of

refusing pain medication.

There are many approaches to treating pain. Not all solutions must

include narcotics although they are certainly appropriate and very

effective in many situations. Finding a good pain management clinic near

you would be a wise move, especially if you don't currently have a

physician who is willing to work with you to treat your pain

effectively.

Your mother's story, as sad as it is, was not so much a problem with

Vicodin as with the physicians who were supposed to be caring for her.

Don't let the memories of her experience prevent you from getting the

treatment you need and deserve. There are many, many pain management

strategies and medications that work.

Maybe you have seen in our past discussions mention of diabetics who use

insulin, RA patients on daily prednisone, and hypothyroid patients who

take replacement hormones. Do we refer to such people as insulin

addicts, prednisone addicts, and Synthroid addicts? No, we don't. Yet,

these people take medication each day that they are dependent on (not

addicted to) to be able to feel well. Is there really any difference

between them and a person who suffers from chronic pain and needs pain

medication to feel well? Absolutely not! It is important to realize that

dependence is not equivalent to addiction.

If the level of pain you experience is such that you are dreading the

next day and wondering how you will face it, you need help. Please, Jan,

see someone and discuss your pain and fears and get some relief. You do

not have to " grin and bear it " as so many people do (or are told to do).

Getting the most accurate diagnosis you possibly can would be the best

first step so that your pain can be treated most appropriately,

effectively, and quickly.

Please read these, Jan:

" Pain, pain, Go Away ... New standards should reduce suffering for those

with chronic pain " from Rx Magazine:

http://rx.magazine.tripod.com/ph_20010416.htm

Chronic pain fact sheet from the Chronic Syndrome Support Association:

http://www.cssa-inc.org/Articles/Chronic_Pain.htm

" Chronic Pain: The Case for Opioids " from Hospital Practice:

http://www.hosppract.com/issues/2000/09/brook.htm

Re: [ ] I need your prayers tonight

> Jan: Please dont feel that taking a pain killer will

> make you an addict......I also felt this way at one

> time....grew up in a house where my dad used to say

> there is no middle man it is straight to the

> morgue...he felt all docs were nuts and a pill was for

> people that were sick in the head....I refused pain

> pills for a long time....then I added more problems

> for myself as I became extremely depressed.....I was

> told any time you deal with chronic pain on a day to

> day basis even the strongest minded people will become

> depressed......with all that comes with these diseases

> if they can give you some relief from the pain why

> shouldnt you do this for yourself....I have been on

> some very strong pain relievers and am not

> addicted....

> a and have posted some wonderful articles on

> pain relief and how people with chronic pain dont

> become addicted, as it is really being used for pain,

> as far as reactions there are other pain killers out

> there besides vicodin....I am sure a and will

> have greater input than I...but please

> reconsider....no one should have to be in constant

> pain.....you dont deserve this.......Kathi in OK

> --- Jan Tully <camommacat2@...> wrote:

> >

> > I am in complete misery tonight. Every muscle from

> > my hip to my ankles are screaming and I find it very

> > hard to move. I managed to get through work ok but

> > it was very hard to conceal how much pain I was in.

> > I can barely get up or down to a sitting position

> > and have to take very slow, mincing steps. I came

> > home from work and laid down for just a few minutes

> > and it is now 4 hours later. I had to get up to put

> > a load of clothes in the machine. I called my

> > doctor before noon and left a message that I needed

> > a painkiller or muscle relaxer to get me through the

> > weekend and she didn't call me back so I thought

> > that she's like all the other doctors I have had in

> > the past. Around 7:30 or so I called the pharmacy

> > for another prescription that I hadn't picked up yet

> > and wanted to tell them I'd be in in the morning.

> > My doctor had called in a prescription for Vicodin.

> > I never ask for medication of a painkiller variety

> > because I don't want to get hooked on them and will

> > tolerate the pain as long as I can before I will

> > ask. I normally get Tyelenol w/codine because so

> > far it has been the only one that I had not become

> > allergic to and I am allergic to some big time

> > painkiller that would be given to me after surgeries

> > many years ago. I usually only take the T-w/C only

> > to take the edge off and then tolerate the pain

> > after that. I have been offered Vicodine in the

> > past and have refused it because of what it did to

> > my mother. I think now she may have had FMS and RA

> > but her doctors wouldn't treat her other than

> > shoving Vicodine at her. She had hallucinations and

> > some wild reactions so I just never wanted to take

> > it. I took her off it during the years before she

> > died without her knowing about it by substituting

> > coated asprins and she never knew the difference.

> > The stupid dr refused to treat her other than the

> > Vicodine and even told me on her last visit to him

> > " She's 83, why don't you just take her home and let

> > her die. " And this was right in front of her. I

> > never let her go back to him and got a wonderful,

> > caring woman doctor in another health care system.

> > Because of this doctor, she lived until 2 months

> > before her 86th birthday. The pain was not really

> > addressed but she was made more confortable and had

> > a little more quality of life before she died. My

> > doctor said to take 1 - 2 tablets every 8 hours as

> > needed but I had a talk with the pharmacist and told

> > her my fears. She suggested that I could take 1/2

> > tablet and that it should take the edge off of the

> > pain and make it tolerable. I will pick up the

> > medication in the morning and start it a little

> > later. There is a family reunion tomorrow starting

> > at 11 and going to 5 and everyone has been so nice

> > about this. I was supposed to make my famous potato

> > salad and a macaroni and tuna salad but am not able

> > to stand long enough to put the eggs on to boil let

> > alone make the salads. They just said to come and

> > take it easy. Please remember me in your prayers

> > tonight. I don't know if I could face tomorrow if

> > this degree of pain is there to greet and remain

> > with me all day. Right now, I just want to curl up

> > and vegetate. My daughter is coming down from the

> > Army base she is on and my grandson is really

> > looking forward to it. Well, I've had my whine -

> > where's the cheese? Hope I haven't gone on to long.

> > I will be remembering you all tonight in prayer.

> > If I am unable to get some rest soon, that's what I

> > will be doing all night.

> >

> > Love, prayers, and if I had the strength....many

> > hugs. Jan in CA +/:=)

[Guest guest]

Dear Jan...I was diagnosed with severe asthma at just 2 months of age.

Though I was a spunky kid at times, I was sick so often. I can trace

the beginnings of my depression back to age 4 or 5. The solemn organ

music at Mass would cause me to weep. If Liborace (sp?)...boy am I

dating myself here..was playing happy music I was fine. But when he

played serious music, I would dissolve into tears in my Mom's lap. I

often feared I was dying. Many, many things frightened me. Yet there

were many times when I was such a little ham...making up silly songs,

just being goofy. Then I'd fall into that black hole again.

Of course in those days antidepressants, as they are now, were unheard

of, and I was just labelled a highly sensitive child and ill child.

Chronic illness has been all I've known, all my life. Sometimes I think

that's why my family has nearly divorced themselves from that subject

matter. Golly, no one gets more tired of it than me. I am so grateful

God gave me a " glass half full " nature...I'm sure that has saved my life

and my mind many times over.

You & yours are in my heart & in my prayers.

Tess

[Guest guest]

I never had anything as severe as asthma as a child but I had my times that in

looking back, I feel must have been depression and have had bouts of depression

since probably the late teens that I could recognize now as depression. And

that was confirmed in my mid-twenties. I also had extreme knee problems when I

was 11 - 12 and was probably the only time my mother ever took me to a doctor

for anything other than the tonsilitis that I was given the old way of treatment

for it - a penicillen shot every day. The doctor that saw me for my knees gave

me a written letter for the school excusing me for regular PE and to put me into

adaptive PE for all of the 7th grade. My mother told me afterward that he had

told her that I was just using it to get attention, but through the years, came

to realize that it was my mother who felt that way and not the doctor who wrote

the letter. I was not ever allowed to be sick. I was made to go to school with

temperatures and all. Once, in the 9th grade, I was so sick when I went to

school that I wasn't able to stand up. They called my mother who told them she

would not come to get me. They insisted that I be sent home so she said let her

walk home then. I used to walk 2 miles to school one way because she would

never buy a bus pass and that day, I don't know how I ever got home. I could

not remember in the following days. This has carried over into adult life.

Even though I may be sick, I don't even stay home unless I feel that driving

will impair me or someone on the road. In the 22 years I worked for the phone

company(they had a very strict absentism policy) I never took a casual sick day

off but I had several disabilities for various things such as Hepititis,

diseased gall bladder and surgery for it, seveve stomach lining infection, and

more. If you took more than 3 sick days a year where you just reported out, you

could be put on warning and dismissed if you had another one before the next

year was up. Some of my disabilities were illness and some were emergency

surgery. I had 2 the first year and for some reason I was not put on warning.

After I was there 5 or so years, they introduced planned disabilities where if

you were able to notify them in advance and complete the paperwork before going

out, you were never put on warning. After leaving the phone company, I went to

work for Blue Cross for 10 years. I had a couple of disabilities for surgeries

there also. Mainly corpal tunnel on both wrists. And the list goes on to this

day. I just cannot report out for a cold even. I have to be dying.

Tess, we share the intense feeling for music. I can cry or laugh without even

knowing what the music is. I cry in movies also, even when I have seen the

movie a jillion times. I have never seen " Backstreet Romance " in it's intirety

but somehow seem to always catch it on the last 3rd at various points. I still

bawl like a baby even though I don't know the whole story line. Some of the

ones I cry in are: Dr Zhivago, An Affair to Remember(old one), Cats, Gone With

the Wind, and one the name escapes my memory tonight( will remember in the

middle of the night) starring Lana , Kohner, ita , and one

more I can't remember her name tonight. It's the story about 2 single mothers

who meet on the boardwalk at Coney Island. Lana plays a woman that is in

need of someone to watch her child while she looks for work and then is hired.

ita is a black woman with her light skinned daughter that needs a

place to live. They move in together with ita taking over all the household

duties and is probably the pillar behind Lana to become successful. is

envious of Lana's daughter and tries to pass as white. She loves her mother

despertly but ends up rejecting her and leaving to live her own life without any

trace when her mother is constantly telling her (gently) to be who she is and

not what she is not. In the end, ita has become much beloved by all the

ones that her life has touched. She becomes ill and traces her daughter down to

have one last look at her. still rejected her and she goes home to die.

When she dies, they have a full blown New Orleans type processon through the

streets with bands and the horse drawn hearse. Her daugher, who did not know

she was dying, hears about it and in the last scene she is running through the

streets to catch up with her mother's carriage. All this time, she is crying

great sobs of remorse and calling to her mother that she really didn't mean it.

I bawl like a baby everytime I see this movie.

Well, I have bent your ear for awhile tonight so think I will look at a few

other emails and call it a day. Hugs and prayers and positive thoughts.

Jan in CA +/:=)

P.S. I knew if I thought long enough the movie's title would come to me.

Imitation of Life. The original movie was made back in the 30's and was based

loosely on the Aunt Jeminah story. It was remade in 1958 or 59 with Lana

and the other ones. It has been remade twice since but this one is my favorite.

The story line changes with each remake and they try to fit it into the year it

was made. After I saw the movie in the late 50's, I was able to track down the

book and you would not even recognize the story in the later ones after the

original. She was called Aunt Delilah in the first one so that the story line

could be changed and not stick to the true story.

tess_northwest@... wrote:Dear Jan...I was diagnosed with severe asthma at

just 2 months of age.

Though I was a spunky kid at times, I was sick so often. I can trace

the beginnings of my depression back to age 4 or 5. The solemn organ

music at Mass would cause me to weep. If Liborace (sp?)...boy am I

dating myself here..was playing happy music I was fine. But when he

played serious music, I would dissolve into tears in my Mom's lap. I

often feared I was dying. Many, many things frightened me. Yet there

were many times when I was such a little ham...making up silly songs,

just being goofy. Then I'd fall into that black hole again.

Of course in those days antidepressants, as they are now, were unheard

of, and I was just labelled a highly sensitive child and ill child.

Chronic illness has been all I've known, all my life. Sometimes I think

that's why my family has nearly divorced themselves from that subject

matter. Golly, no one gets more tired of it than me. I am so grateful

God gave me a " glass half full " nature...I'm sure that has saved my life

and my mind many times over.

You & yours are in my heart & in my prayers.

Tess

[Guest guest]

Hi Jan, and Tess, excuse my jumping in on your conversation; I had similar

experiences as a child..I was not allowed to be sick either...I was the

youngest of 13 children..our family was extremely poor and each of us had

responsibilties for bringing food home...my job was to go to the bread give

away each day to bring home what was available...if I was sick, of course I

couldn't do my job and then our family would miss the bread...so you just

weren't allowed to be sick...I had to do my job...I remember in 3rd or 4th

grade not being able to walk...the doc put me in those funny brown shoes

with the leg braces...we lived on the 8th floor of a walk up 12 story apt.

building..my dad sold the braces because " they slowed me down " so I learned

very early to just not accept being sick...as an adult...I am learning to

pay attention to the signals my body gives me..I am learning to be kind to

myself when I have pain rather than ignore it and suffer through...allowing

myself to take a break...a sick day..or a nap...or a pain pill when I need

it is sometimes tough...but what a difference it makes to listen to my

body....there seems to be a definate relationship between accepting the pain

and not being depressed...I don't think I am doing a good job of explaining

what I mean..but perhaps you understand...I hope you can be kind to

yourself...and take the pain pill, or nap or whatever time you need to be

good to you...it does make a difference...it's 3:30 and I am going to try to

get back to bed...I seem to need about an hour up to wander and loosen up

stiff joints in the middle of the night...the humidity has finally

broken...it was a rough week...I too am looking forward to fall...it's

supposed to be 60 tomorrow and most of the week..so I am hoping for a good

week. I am enjoying all the recipes and hope to try some out...I love the

cookie exchanges too..think I will try to get one going at work during the

holidays...hope you are having a restful evening and have a great

week...marge

Re: [ ] I need your prayers tonight

>

> I never had anything as severe as asthma as a child but I had my times

that in looking back, I feel must have been depression and have had bouts of

depression since probably the late teens that I could recognize now as

depression. And that was confirmed in my mid-twenties. I also had extreme

knee problems when I was 11 - 12 and was probably the only time my mother

ever took me to a doctor for anything other than the tonsilitis that I was

given the old way of treatment for it - a penicillen shot every day. The

doctor that saw me for my knees gave me a written letter for the school

excusing me for regular PE and to put me into adaptive PE for all of the 7th

grade. My mother told me afterward that he had told her that I was just

using it to get attention, but through the years, came to realize that it

was my mother who felt that way and not the doctor who wrote the letter. I

was not ever allowed to be sick. I was made to go to school with

temperatures and all. Once, in the 9th grade, I was so sick when I went to

school that I wasn't able to stand up. They called my mother who told them

she would not come to get me. They insisted that I be sent home so she said

let her walk home then. I used to walk 2 miles to school one way because

she would never buy a bus pass and that day, I don't know how I ever got

home. I could not remember in the following days. This has carried over

into adult life. Even though I may be sick, I don't even stay home unless I

feel that driving will impair me or someone on the road. In the 22 years I

worked for the phone company(they had a very strict absentism policy) I

never took a casual sick day off but I had several disabilities for

various things such as Hepititis, diseased gall bladder and surgery for it,

seveve stomach lining infection, and more. If you took more than 3 sick

days a year where you just reported out, you could be put on warning and

dismissed if you had another one before the next year was up. Some of my

disabilities were illness and some were emergency surgery. I had 2 the

first year and for some reason I was not put on warning. After I was there

5 or so years, they introduced planned disabilities where if you were able

to notify them in advance and complete the paperwork before going out, you

were never put on warning. After leaving the phone company, I went to work

for Blue Cross for 10 years. I had a couple of disabilities for surgeries

there also. Mainly corpal tunnel on both wrists. And the list goes on to

this day. I just cannot report out for a cold even. I have to be dying.

> Tess, we share the intense feeling for music. I can cry or laugh without

even knowing what the music is. I cry in movies also, even when I have seen

the movie a jillion times. I have never seen " Backstreet Romance " in it's

intirety but somehow seem to always catch it on the last 3rd at various

points. I still bawl like a baby even though I don't know the whole story

line. Some of the ones I cry in are: Dr Zhivago, An Affair to Remember(old

one), Cats, Gone With the Wind, and one the name escapes my memory

tonight( will remember in the middle of the night) starring Lana ,

Kohner, ita , and one more I can't remember her name tonight.

It's the story about 2 single mothers who meet on the boardwalk at Coney

Island. Lana plays a woman that is in need of someone to watch her

child while she looks for work and then is hired. ita is a black

woman with her light skinned daughter that needs a place to live. They move

in together with ita taking over all the household duties and is

probably the pillar behind Lana to become successful. is envious of

Lana's daughter and tries to pass as white. She loves her mother despertly

but ends up rejecting her and leaving to live her own life without any trace

when her mother is constantly telling her (gently) to be who she is and not

what she is not. In the end, ita has become much beloved by all the

ones that her life has touched. She becomes ill and traces her daughter

down to have one last look at her. still rejected her and she goes

home to die. When she dies, they have a full blown New Orleans type

processon through the streets with bands and the horse drawn hearse. Her

daugher, who did not know she was dying, hears about it and in the last

scene she is running through the streets to catch up with her mother's

carriage. All this time, she is crying great sobs of remorse and calling to

her mother that she really didn't mean it. I bawl like a baby everytime I

see this movie.

> Well, I have bent your ear for awhile tonight so think I will look at a

few other emails and call it a day. Hugs and prayers and positive

thoughts. Jan in CA +/:=)

> P.S. I knew if I thought long enough the movie's title would come to me.

Imitation of Life. The original movie was made back in the 30's and was

based loosely on the Aunt Jeminah story. It was remade in 1958 or 59 with

Lana and the other ones. It has been remade twice since but this one

is my favorite. The story line changes with each remake and they try to fit

it into the year it was made. After I saw the movie in the late 50's, I was

able to track down the book and you would not even recognize the story in

the later ones after the original. She was called Aunt Delilah in the first

one so that the story line could be changed and not stick to the true story.

> tess_northwest@... wrote:Dear Jan...I was diagnosed with severe

asthma at just 2 months of age.

> Though I was a spunky kid at times, I was sick so often. I can trace

> the beginnings of my depression back to age 4 or 5. The solemn organ

> music at Mass would cause me to weep. If Liborace (sp?)...boy am I

> dating myself here..was playing happy music I was fine. But when he

> played serious music, I would dissolve into tears in my Mom's lap. I

> often feared I was dying. Many, many things frightened me. Yet there

> were many times when I was such a little ham...making up silly songs,

> just being goofy. Then I'd fall into that black hole again.

>

> Of course in those days antidepressants, as they are now, were unheard

> of, and I was just labelled a highly sensitive child and ill child.

>

> Chronic illness has been all I've known, all my life. Sometimes I think

> that's why my family has nearly divorced themselves from that subject

> matter. Golly, no one gets more tired of it than me. I am so grateful

> God gave me a " glass half full " nature...I'm sure that has saved my life

> and my mind many times over.

>

> You & yours are in my heart & in my prayers.

>

> Tess

>

>

>