(no subject)

[Guest guest]

I haven't been feeling like writing much lately I have had a lot on my mind.

Several months ago I went for a chest X-ray and they found nodules and it

was decided to watch them instead of biopsies, which was fine with me. After my

last x-ray I thought nothing of it until I got a call from the doctors

office to set up an appointment to discuss my x-rays. After a phone call like

that

naturally my mind is saying, this is it. It may not be he could be calling

me in to tell me they are gone but that sounds a little unreal to me but who

knows.

I am not requesting prayers, I have been wanting to go for a very

long time and the end of struggling with this disease with no name except a

derogatory one and no legitimacy, which forces you to live like a leper not to

demean those folks, 28 years of this is enough. Honestly I will be disappointed

if I am stuck in this world with a disease that stole my life away.

I am a born again Christian and have been for the 28 years I have been

sick, my body has gone one way and my faith another, he knows how much I

want to go home. I have often thought that without this disease where would I

be

and what would I be doing ? Would my faith be so strong? He has been my

strength, my companion, my rock and at times my sounding board. I am so glad he

has big shoulders and can handle a temper tantrum from his kids.

Why me? Came back, why not you? Not exactly the answer I wanted, sometimes

what we think we want or need is not what is best for us. A hard thing to

grasp.

I am praying that this is the answer to my prayer to go home and be with

my Lord. I know some will not understand while others will.

I wanted to let those I know where my head and heart is right now.

God Bless you,

PS If you want to pray please ask the Lord to take me home.

Synonyms belittling, contemptuous, decrying, degrading, demeaning,

depreciative, depreciatory, disdainful, disparaging, scornful, slighting,

uncomplimentary

Related words aspersing, defamatory, detractive, insulting, libelous,

maligning, slandering, slanderous, vilifying; abusive, opprobrious, scurrilous;

despiteful, malevolent, malicious, spiteful