thoughts

[Guest guest]

Hi Family...just been thinking on some things...I'm in a very painful

flare - even my hips and legs which don't usually hurt, hurt. The pain

woke me up several times. I've been on Remicade about 9 months, I guess,

and since not being able to have an infusion because of my toe

infection, the RA is reminding me it's only been hiding. I do get to

have my infusion on Tuesday.

Over the last month or so I really feel that I have had more energy and

endurance than I have had for a great long while. I can do more, and

for longer periods. But when I'm done, the exhaustion truly knocks me

out. I saw my eldest daughter & grandkids this weekend, and took myself

on a loooong ride parallel to the Columbia River...stopped in the little

town where my folks live, and came home. I was hurting yet I had some

'energy' I'm not used to. Once I did get home, holy cow I was beat,

beat, beat. I slept a long time, waking several times from pain then

going back to sleep, then had 2 naps today.

This is such a different experience for me. For a long time I really

didn't do much. I know part of it was the depression...and I'm grateful

the Wellbutron has helped. I think trying to eat in a more healthy

manner has helped, too. And I seem to have more peace and acceptance of

myself...I don't " beat myself up " nearly as often nor as harshly.

Writing the poetry has really been a wonderful experience...I thought

perhaps I'd not be able to do it any more. My heartfelt thanks for all

your loving encouragement.

I guess I'm learning there's no age limit to learning, if your heart is

open. At least I know there's hope. Please remind me of that if I lose

sight along the way.

All My Love....

Tess