sigh...

[Guest guest]

<PRE>hi tess, sorry to hear you are feeling bad. i am not well either. some

songs

just put you right back where you were. i know what it is like to be lonely.

it would've been my 23rd wedding anninversary today. in january it'll be 10

years since he passed on. i've been kinda touchy the last 3 or 4 days. happy

sweetest day. kathy in il

[Guest guest]

Hi...I still don't feel well...I'm very achey all down my right side

from shoulder to ankle, and the pain & weird-numbing from the

herniations/foot drop are added to the mix. My tummy aches and I've

been having IBS again. I'm chilly, and sort of sad.

When I lose about 20 more pounds I'll be able to use the specific MRI

the neurosurgeon would like to see pictures from...he much prefers that

to a CT myleogram. After that, if he doesn't get on top of the back

stuff, I will get a 2nd opinion.

Learning to love oneself in a healthy way is hard & painful work

sometimes! I am grateful I'm still 'teachable' at the age of 51. The

support & encouragement you all bless me with means so very much to me.

I watched 'Moulin Rouge' today, and though I love it and think it is a

wonderful movie, there ae parts of it that are bittersweet and touch me

deeply. When Christian sings Elton 's " Your Song " to Satine, I

travel back to being a young married and very much in love woman. My

husband (Vince) came home one day and said he brought me a gift...he put

'it' on the stereo and held me, singing along with Elton to " Your Song. "

I cried then and I still cry everytime I hear it. It has been 26 years

since Vince went to Heaven, and I still miss him like crazy. Yikes, I

better regroup or I'll be in a puddle. I know I am blessed that I had a

true and beautiful love with Vince. But 26 years is an awful long time

being lonely. I really miss him.

Love...

Tess

[Guest guest]

Sorry you¹re having a bad night Tess. I know it¹s hard to be optimist when

you¹re not feeling good. You have wonderful memories of your life with your

husband. I¹m sorry he was called to heaven at such a young age. Maybe one

day you will find love again. Don¹t give up on that thought. You are so

sweet and have a lot to offer. The fact that you consider yourself

teachable is a very good sign! Sending soothing hugs.

a

> Hi...I still don't feel well...I'm very achey all down my right side

> from shoulder to ankle, and the pain & weird-numbing from the

> herniations/foot drop are added to the mix. My tummy aches and I've

> been having IBS again. I'm chilly, and sort of sad.

>

> When I lose about 20 more pounds I'll be able to use the specific MRI

> the neurosurgeon would like to see pictures from...he much prefers that

> to a CT myleogram. After that, if he doesn't get on top of the back

> stuff, I will get a 2nd opinion.

>

> Learning to love oneself in a healthy way is hard & painful work

> sometimes! I am grateful I'm still 'teachable' at the age of 51. The

> support & encouragement you all bless me with means so very much to me.

>

> I watched 'Moulin Rouge' today, and though I love it and think it is a

> wonderful movie, there ae parts of it that are bittersweet and touch me

> deeply. When Christian sings Elton 's " Your Song " to Satine, I

> travel back to being a young married and very much in love woman. My

> husband (Vince) came home one day and said he brought me a gift...he put

> 'it' on the stereo and held me, singing along with Elton to " Your Song. "

> I cried then and I still cry everytime I hear it. It has been 26 years

> since Vince went to Heaven, and I still miss him like crazy. Yikes, I

> better regroup or I'll be in a puddle. I know I am blessed that I had a

> true and beautiful love with Vince. But 26 years is an awful long time

> being lonely. I really miss him.

>

> Love...

>

> Tess

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Tess, sorry to hear that you aren't feeling better at all. I was really

hoping that the Remicade would help a bit. Maybe you could call Bruce

for some advice?

You are well on your way to losing the weight. Keep up the good work and

you'll have that MRI soon!

You're in the minority of the people I know who say that they liked

" Moulin Rouge. " I did, too. A feast for the eye and a fine escape

vehicle. I enjoyed the music very much, especially " Your Song. " I've

played the piano for years, so I'm partial to Elton .

I'm sorry that you miss Vince so. Your poem was lovely, but incredibly

sad. Something tells me that you'll know each other in the world to

come.

[ ] sigh...

> Hi...I still don't feel well...I'm very achey all down my right side

> from shoulder to ankle, and the pain & weird-numbing from the

> herniations/foot drop are added to the mix. My tummy aches and I've

> been having IBS again. I'm chilly, and sort of sad.

>

> When I lose about 20 more pounds I'll be able to use the specific MRI

> the neurosurgeon would like to see pictures from...he much prefers

that

> to a CT myleogram. After that, if he doesn't get on top of the back

> stuff, I will get a 2nd opinion.

>

> Learning to love oneself in a healthy way is hard & painful work

> sometimes! I am grateful I'm still 'teachable' at the age of 51. The

> support & encouragement you all bless me with means so very much to

me.

>

> I watched 'Moulin Rouge' today, and though I love it and think it is a

> wonderful movie, there ae parts of it that are bittersweet and touch

me

> deeply. When Christian sings Elton 's " Your Song " to Satine, I

> travel back to being a young married and very much in love woman. My

> husband (Vince) came home one day and said he brought me a gift...he

put

> 'it' on the stereo and held me, singing along with Elton to " Your

Song. "

> I cried then and I still cry everytime I hear it. It has been 26

years

> since Vince went to Heaven, and I still miss him like crazy. Yikes, I

> better regroup or I'll be in a puddle. I know I am blessed that I had

a

> true and beautiful love with Vince. But 26 years is an awful long

time

> being lonely. I really miss him.

>

> Love...

>

> Tess

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Oh, Tess, your Vince sounds like an angel...

Hmm, guess that is true, right? I know how I would feel if Ron were

to leave me. We dated for 9 years before we were married, so that

mean's we have been " together " for 35 years. I feel so terrible for

him now that he knows he has Parkinson's, because he has always been

very strong and independent. But his strength and independence will

help, I know.

I have to tell you about a friend of ours who lost her husband

recently. We finaly talked her into going out with our group after

bowling (we go to a local place, " Mousie's " for pop & sandwiches

after bowling.) She said she hated going home to an empty, dark

house. The next week she said that when she got home, the garage

light came on when she opened the garage door, something she and Leo

had not been able to get to work for 25 years!! And it has come on

every time since then. I think Leo fixed it for her.

Think about the times you have reached out to Vince, and you will

find that he is right there, touching you, every minute. It can't

replace a nice warm hug, but it is a comforting thought. I find my

sweet mom's presence with me often, sometimes hearing her

favorite " de Lune " at odd times.

Hey, you are a kid--you are 6 years younger than me, and I am

retraining myself. From your creative writing, I see you really are

a woman of great strength, considering the physical challenges you

have to deal with. So you get right back up on that mountain and

thumb your nose at the dark thoughts. We love ya, kid!!

God bless,

Judi

[Guest guest]

((((((((((Judi)))))))))...you are such a sweetie. Thanks for the love &

understanding & encouragement.

All My Love...

Tess

[Guest guest]

Adelaide, WOW!!!

Just hearing your story makes my blood boil. I liked your idea of a head butt.

But you can't strike first. I wish I could not believe this animal. For me, if

he touched me I would use every dirty trick in the book (biting, kicking,

fingers in the eyes, shove is nose into his skull and hurt his private parts to

disable him) Just thinking about him burns me.

No, I'm sure you did the right thing. You have to know there is absolutely

nothing you could say to defuse him. He would only escalate his remarks.

Wait a minute. Just counter him by saying something like " ...are you done yet " .

Then " ...is this the best you can do " .

Just make sure you attract attention. Have witness.

Hang tight! You are NOT the problem.

Love, Peace & Health.

H.

Sent from my iPhone

[Guest guest]

Wow Adelaide,

thanks for sharing.  That's a pretty incredible story.  When you say, " I

shook, " that really resonates with me.  I've had that same feeling, when you

are dealing with harassment and you know that no matter what you -- fight back,

talk back, ignore it -- there is no way the outcome will be positive.  The body

just shakes with rage because there is no constructive outlet. 

I think calling 911 could be a good thing.  Because we hear so many stories of

harassment within our community, it seems pretty clear that harassment is

systemic and pervasive.  These days, we hear a lot about anti-bullying

legislation and initiatives.  At some point, I would like to see some kind of

institutionalized policy, legislation or what have you that identifies the type

of behavior you experienced at the store as harassment.  The more records there

are on 911, the greater case the community has for getting some kind of official

protection.

just my thought.

thanks again for sharing.

gary

From: BASHUM7894@... <BASHUM7894@...>

Subject: Sigh...

dwarfism

Date: Saturday, April 16, 2011, 6:47 PM

 

Well, my friends...just the other day I found myself in one of those

upsetting situations we encounter out there, but this one became a

frightening one too. I had been too shaken to share this at first here,

yet in a way, need to, because I know you all understand.

Usually my grocery store experience is a rather happy one, since I

have been shopping there for several years and know everyone who

work there. In the produce section a very tall seventy-ish man noticed

me. He said he bet I wished I could be as tall as he was. I briefly smiled,

but felt uneasy. He then wanted to know if my family

was little. I said, " No. " He said my parents sure must have wanted to

get rid of me when they realized they had a midget! THAT is when I quickly

decided I DEFINITELY did NOT need any produce items and made a very quick

exit away from him. Only it got worse. I was in the cereal aisle. In the

same aisle as the cereal, are cookies. He followed. Suddenly, he slammed a

package of cookies onto the floor, and DEMANDED I pick them up because I

was close to the floor and

" could reach those. " When I didn't, he repeated his " demand. " There was

NO WAY I was going to pick those cookies up. I ignored him and focused on

trying to some cereal instead. Yet here he came again. He then began

taunting me, insisting I get myself a box of cereal off the top shelf, betting

I couldn't do it, could I? He then told me to watch how easy it was for

HIM and what did I think about THAT? As I made yet ANOTHER sudden exit, I

expressed what I thought of him, only I can't share it here. ; )

Anyway, it so happened a store employee was also in the same aisle. I

didn't know it till a bit later, but he went up to the front office and

told management this idiot was stalking me and being extremely rude. I had

proceeded on to the dairy section, but he followed me again. He said the

sight of me turns his stomach and midgets should never be allowed to

associate with normal people and we should all be institutionalized. At THIS

point my blood is really boiling, and I knew I needed help. I hurry to the

front office to get help. Yet thanks to that employee, management was

already on it. They surrounded the man and told him they were going to call

the

police if he did not leave the store immediately. He didn't like THAT. So

the manager responded

by beginning to punch 911 into her phone. He left. I shook. After I

finally managed to get the items I went in there for in the first place, I was

escorted out, just in case he was waiting in the parking lot, but

thankfully we didn't see him.

As you can imagine, I was a bit shaken after this encounter. His

rude invasiveness was one thing, but the aggressive way he came at

me was another. It was frightening. Then I wondered if I should have

called 911 myself, early on in the encounter. Which brings me to a

question...SHOULD one call 911 when we get someone like this who

is being so rude and then following us?

I SO wanted to head butt him right in the place where it would have

hurt most. ; )

Anyway, have any of you had an experience like this? If so, how

did you handle the situation? This is how we learn from each other.

I want to thank all of you for allowing me to share this with you.

Adelaide

[Guest guest]

Adelaide,

 

I know how you feel (felt).  A similar thing happened to me in the late 80's,

before everyone had cell phones.  I was walking on the streets of midtown

Manhattan, going to the bank to cash my paycheck, because this was also before

direct deposit.  A strange man was walking next to me, saying disgusting things

about what he wanted to do to me.  My brain was racing with so many thoughts " I

can't walk any faster to get away from him. " " What if he waits for me to come

out of the bank? " " I don't want him to follow me back to my office. "

 

Then the scenario played out better than I could have expected, he followed me

into the bank still saying vile things.  I saw the security guards, who knew

me.  I made sure the guards saw him following me still talking at me.  I

stopped in the middle of the bank, turned toward the man, and in

as sternly voice I could muster, said. " I do not know you.  Stay away from

me. "   I turned and walked away (shaking in my shoes) as the guy was being

swarmed by the guards.

 

When I was leaving the bank, I didn't see the man, or the guards.  I'm

assuming they still had him in custody.  I walked back to my office building as

fast as my legs could go, knowing the security guards there would protect me

too.

They (the creepy, small-minded people) are out there.  We need to keep our

chins, and our guards up, knowing that we are better than what they presume.

 

Taking a deep breath, and moving on,

Kimm 

 

From: BASHUM7894@... <BASHUM7894@...>

Subject: Sigh...

dwarfism

Date: Saturday, April 16, 2011, 4:47 PM

 

Well, my friends...just the other day I found myself in one of those

upsetting situations we encounter out there, but this one became a

frightening one too. I had been too shaken to share this at first here,

yet in a way, need to, because I know you all understand.

Usually my grocery store experience is a rather happy one, since I

have been shopping there for several years and know everyone who

work there. In the produce section a very tall seventy-ish man noticed

me. He said he bet I wished I could be as tall as he was. I briefly smiled,

but felt uneasy. He then wanted to know if my family

was little. I said, " No. " He said my parents sure must have wanted to

get rid of me when they realized they had a midget! THAT is when I quickly

decided I DEFINITELY did NOT need any produce items and made a very quick

exit away from him. Only it got worse. I was in the cereal aisle. In the

same aisle as the cereal, are cookies. He followed. Suddenly, he slammed a

package of cookies onto the floor, and DEMANDED I pick them up because I

was close to the floor and

" could reach those. " When I didn't, he repeated his " demand. " There was

NO WAY I was going to pick those cookies up. I ignored him and focused on

trying to some cereal instead. Yet here he came again. He then began

taunting me, insisting I get myself a box of cereal off the top shelf, betting

I couldn't do it, could I? He then told me to watch how easy it was for

HIM and what did I think about THAT? As I made yet ANOTHER sudden exit, I

expressed what I thought of him, only I can't share it here. ; )

Anyway, it so happened a store employee was also in the same aisle. I

didn't know it till a bit later, but he went up to the front office and

told management this idiot was stalking me and being extremely rude. I had

proceeded on to the dairy section, but he followed me again. He said the

sight of me turns his stomach and midgets should never be allowed to

associate with normal people and we should all be institutionalized. At THIS

point my blood is really boiling, and I knew I needed help. I hurry to the

front office to get help. Yet thanks to that employee, management was

already on it. They surrounded the man and told him they were going to call the

police if he did not leave the store immediately. He didn't like THAT. So

the manager responded

by beginning to punch 911 into her phone. He left. I shook. After I

finally managed to get the items I went in there for in the first place, I was

escorted out, just in case he was waiting in the parking lot, but

thankfully we didn't see him.

As you can imagine, I was a bit shaken after this encounter. His

rude invasiveness was one thing, but the aggressive way he came at

me was another. It was frightening. Then I wondered if I should have

called 911 myself, early on in the encounter. Which brings me to a

question...SHOULD one call 911 when we get someone like this who

is being so rude and then following us?

I SO wanted to head butt him right in the place where it would have

hurt most. ; )

Anyway, have any of you had an experience like this? If so, how

did you handle the situation? This is how we learn from each other.

I want to thank all of you for allowing me to share this with you.

Adelaide

[Guest guest]

Oh, Adelaide!

This is absolutely awful. This should NEVER HAPPEN.

From the " stage whispers " poking fun at us by perfect strangers, people

asking us rude and invasive personal questions, the unauthorized taking

of our pictures, and situations such as this, it HAS to STOP.

What can we do? I've been giving this a lot of thought lately.

One of my most favorite films is " The American President. "

In the movie, one of the sub-plots involves the senator running against

the sitting president in the next election. The senator is basing his

campaign on attacking the president's character.

At first, the president refuses to respond to the attacks. He thinks

he's taking the higher moral ground by keeping silent. It doesn't work -

the attacks get worse.

Finally, at the end of the movie, the president takes a stand against

the attacks and gains respect for doing so. It's implied he wins his bid

for re-election.

Maybe it's time for us to STOP being silent. Maybe we should stop

worrying about whether it may reflect badly on us to stick up for

ourselves, or whether in doing so we're lowering ourselves to the same

level as those who do these things to us.

Maybe by our timidity we're sending out the signal that these things are

" no big deal, " or worse - by expecting OTHERS to speak up for us in

these situations reinforcing the stereotype that we're UNABLE to stick

up for ourselves, manage our own lives, and really are dependent on others.

What would have happened, in your situation, had you stopped cold in

your tracks and looked him straight in the eyes, moved slowly towards

him, and VERY LOUDLY (loud enough so everyone in that store could hear)

said " DID YOU, A COMPLETE STRANGER, JUST ASK ME IF MY PARENTS WANTED TO

GET RID OF ME WHEN THEY FOUND OUT I'M A LITTLE PERSON? ARE YOU KIDDING

ME? WHO THE HECK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? " (I think up to that point his

comments could have been regarded as " harmless inquisitive ignorance, "

but the above is where he crossed the line).

I suspect he would have been temporarily shocked into silence. In the

meantime, my guess is people would have immediately come running over to

see what the commotion was about, and the man, realizing he was

outnumbered, would have made a quick exit rather than risk having to

justify and explain what he'd said to you to a whole group of curious

shoppers and store employees.

Yet, had you been the one to speak up, you would have sent a very

powerful message to everyone who overheard you:

1) Little people have the right to demand the SAME respect from others

as everyone else

2) This kind of thing DOES HAPPEN to LP's in THEIR town..it's not just

something they read about or see on TV as happening " somewhere else "

3) We aren't going to put up with it anymore. IF you try to humiliate

and embarrass an LP, they CAN and WILL expose you and show you EXACTLY

how it feels to be embarrassed and humiliated.

Please don't misunderstand me. *I* would have handled the situation

exactly as YOU did. It's very, very difficult for me to speak up in my

own defense. Afterwards, I kick myself for NOT speaking up. Recently

I've begun to realize I feel WORSE about these situations when I don't

speak up than when I do, so I am going to make a real effort to change

and start speaking up to let the world know this stuff is NOT okay.

Yeah, it's going to be really hard, but I'm going to try.

I think by trying to get away from this guy (moving from produce to

cereals) he felt emboldened because he knew he had successfully

intimidated you. Thus, HE had the power. And that's what allowed him to

take it to the next level. Perhaps every time we remain silent, try to

ignore, try to get away, try to be " reasonable, " - we give away our

power. Instead, maybe we should keep it and put it to good use FOR

OURSELVES.

If we ALL do it, it WILL stop. Yes, it will take time, but once people

realize we're simply not going to take this stuff anymore, it will stop.

Will you guys join with me and agree to try SPEAKING UP?

TG

BASHUM7894@... wrote:

> Well, my friends...just the other day I found myself in one of those

> upsetting situations we encounter out there, but this one became a

> frightening one too. I had been too shaken to share this at first here,

> yet in a way, need to, because I know you all understand.

>

> Usually my grocery store experience is a rather happy one, since I

> have been shopping there for several years and know everyone who

> work there. In the produce section a very tall seventy-ish man noticed

> me. He said he bet I wished I could be as tall as he was. I briefly smiled,

> but felt uneasy. He then wanted to know if my family

> was little. I said, " No. " He said my parents sure must have wanted to

> get rid of me when they realized they had a midget! THAT is when I quickly

> decided I DEFINITELY did NOT need any produce items and made a very quick

> exit away from him. Only it got worse. I was in the cereal aisle. In the

> same aisle as the cereal, are cookies. He followed. Suddenly, he slammed a

> package of cookies onto the floor, and DEMANDED I pick them up because I

> was close to the floor and

> " could reach those. " When I didn't, he repeated his " demand. " There was

> NO WAY I was going to pick those cookies up. I ignored him and focused on

> trying to some cereal instead. Yet here he came again. He then began

> taunting me, insisting I get myself a box of cereal off the top shelf,

betting

> I couldn't do it, could I? He then told me to watch how easy it was for

> HIM and what did I think about THAT? As I made yet ANOTHER sudden exit, I

> expressed what I thought of him, only I can't share it here. ; )

>

> Anyway, it so happened a store employee was also in the same aisle. I

> didn't know it till a bit later, but he went up to the front office and

> told management this idiot was stalking me and being extremely rude. I had

> proceeded on to the dairy section, but he followed me again. He said the

> sight of me turns his stomach and midgets should never be allowed to

> associate with normal people and we should all be institutionalized. At THIS

> point my blood is really boiling, and I knew I needed help. I hurry to the

> front office to get help. Yet thanks to that employee, management was

> already on it. They surrounded the man and told him they were going to call

the

> police if he did not leave the store immediately. He didn't like THAT. So

> the manager responded

> by beginning to punch 911 into her phone. He left. I shook. After I

> finally managed to get the items I went in there for in the first place, I

was

> escorted out, just in case he was waiting in the parking lot, but

> thankfully we didn't see him.

>

>

> As you can imagine, I was a bit shaken after this encounter. His

> rude invasiveness was one thing, but the aggressive way he came at

> me was another. It was frightening. Then I wondered if I should have

> called 911 myself, early on in the encounter. Which brings me to a

> question...SHOULD one call 911 when we get someone like this who

> is being so rude and then following us?

>

> I SO wanted to head butt him right in the place where it would have

> hurt most. ; )

>

> Anyway, have any of you had an experience like this? If so, how

> did you handle the situation? This is how we learn from each other.

>

> I want to thank all of you for allowing me to share this with you.

>

> Adelaide

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Yes, I'm replying to my own, earlier response. But I wanted to clarify

something I'd said, because I think it's important.

With so many people feeling comfortable " airing their dirty laundry " in

public these days, if we DO call out anyone who does these things to us

publicly, I feel it's VERY important to use the phrase " a complete

stranger " when speaking up. That way, anyone who overhears us will

understand the person who is harassing us IS someone who is unknown to

us, and not think it's an issue of a just a couple, or two friends,

having a public disagreement. That could lead to others thinking " it's

none of my business " and ignoring the situation.

TG

Twirly Girly wrote:

> Oh, Adelaide!

>

> This is absolutely awful. This should NEVER HAPPEN.

>

> From the " stage whispers " poking fun at us by perfect strangers, people

> asking us rude and invasive personal questions, the unauthorized taking

> of our pictures, and situations such as this, it HAS to STOP.

>

> What can we do? I've been giving this a lot of thought lately.

>

> One of my most favorite films is " The American President. "

>

> In the movie, one of the sub-plots involves the senator running against

> the sitting president in the next election. The senator is basing his

> campaign on attacking the president's character.

>

> At first, the president refuses to respond to the attacks. He thinks

> he's taking the higher moral ground by keeping silent. It doesn't work -

> the attacks get worse.

>

> Finally, at the end of the movie, the president takes a stand against

> the attacks and gains respect for doing so. It's implied he wins his bid

> for re-election.

>

> Maybe it's time for us to STOP being silent. Maybe we should stop

> worrying about whether it may reflect badly on us to stick up for

> ourselves, or whether in doing so we're lowering ourselves to the same

> level as those who do these things to us.

>

> Maybe by our timidity we're sending out the signal that these things are

> " no big deal, " or worse - by expecting OTHERS to speak up for us in

> these situations reinforcing the stereotype that we're UNABLE to stick

> up for ourselves, manage our own lives, and really are dependent on others.

>

> What would have happened, in your situation, had you stopped cold in

> your tracks and looked him straight in the eyes, moved slowly towards

> him, and VERY LOUDLY (loud enough so everyone in that store could hear)

> said " DID YOU, A COMPLETE STRANGER, JUST ASK ME IF MY PARENTS WANTED TO

> GET RID OF ME WHEN THEY FOUND OUT I'M A LITTLE PERSON? ARE YOU KIDDING

> ME? WHO THE HECK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? " (I think up to that point his

> comments could have been regarded as " harmless inquisitive ignorance, "

> but the above is where he crossed the line).

>

> I suspect he would have been temporarily shocked into silence. In the

> meantime, my guess is people would have immediately come running over to

> see what the commotion was about, and the man, realizing he was

> outnumbered, would have made a quick exit rather than risk having to

> justify and explain what he'd said to you to a whole group of curious

> shoppers and store employees.

>

> Yet, had you been the one to speak up, you would have sent a very

> powerful message to everyone who overheard you:

>

> 1) Little people have the right to demand the SAME respect from others

> as everyone else

> 2) This kind of thing DOES HAPPEN to LP's in THEIR town..it's not just

> something they read about or see on TV as happening " somewhere else "

> 3) We aren't going to put up with it anymore. IF you try to humiliate

> and embarrass an LP, they CAN and WILL expose you and show you EXACTLY

> how it feels to be embarrassed and humiliated.

>

> Please don't misunderstand me. *I* would have handled the situation

> exactly as YOU did. It's very, very difficult for me to speak up in my

> own defense. Afterwards, I kick myself for NOT speaking up. Recently

> I've begun to realize I feel WORSE about these situations when I don't

> speak up than when I do, so I am going to make a real effort to change

> and start speaking up to let the world know this stuff is NOT okay.

> Yeah, it's going to be really hard, but I'm going to try.

>

> I think by trying to get away from this guy (moving from produce to

> cereals) he felt emboldened because he knew he had successfully

> intimidated you. Thus, HE had the power. And that's what allowed him to

> take it to the next level. Perhaps every time we remain silent, try to

> ignore, try to get away, try to be " reasonable, " - we give away our

> power. Instead, maybe we should keep it and put it to good use FOR

> OURSELVES.

>

> If we ALL do it, it WILL stop. Yes, it will take time, but once people

> realize we're simply not going to take this stuff anymore, it will stop.

>

> Will you guys join with me and agree to try SPEAKING UP?

>

> TG

>

> BASHUM7894@... wrote:

>

>> Well, my friends...just the other day I found myself in one of those

>> upsetting situations we encounter out there, but this one became a

>> frightening one too. I had been too shaken to share this at first here,

>> yet in a way, need to, because I know you all understand.

>>

>> Usually my grocery store experience is a rather happy one, since I

>> have been shopping there for several years and know everyone who

>> work there. In the produce section a very tall seventy-ish man noticed

>> me. He said he bet I wished I could be as tall as he was. I briefly

smiled,

>> but felt uneasy. He then wanted to know if my family

>> was little. I said, " No. " He said my parents sure must have wanted to

>> get rid of me when they realized they had a midget! THAT is when I quickly

>> decided I DEFINITELY did NOT need any produce items and made a very quick

>> exit away from him. Only it got worse. I was in the cereal aisle. In the

>> same aisle as the cereal, are cookies. He followed. Suddenly, he slammed a

>> package of cookies onto the floor, and DEMANDED I pick them up because I

>> was close to the floor and

>> " could reach those. " When I didn't, he repeated his " demand. " There was

>> NO WAY I was going to pick those cookies up. I ignored him and focused on

>> trying to some cereal instead. Yet here he came again. He then began

>> taunting me, insisting I get myself a box of cereal off the top shelf,

betting

>> I couldn't do it, could I? He then told me to watch how easy it was for

>> HIM and what did I think about THAT? As I made yet ANOTHER sudden exit, I

>> expressed what I thought of him, only I can't share it here. ; )

>>

>> Anyway, it so happened a store employee was also in the same aisle. I

>> didn't know it till a bit later, but he went up to the front office and

>> told management this idiot was stalking me and being extremely rude. I had

>> proceeded on to the dairy section, but he followed me again. He said the

>> sight of me turns his stomach and midgets should never be allowed to

>> associate with normal people and we should all be institutionalized. At THIS

>> point my blood is really boiling, and I knew I needed help. I hurry to the

>> front office to get help. Yet thanks to that employee, management was

>> already on it. They surrounded the man and told him they were going to call

the

>> police if he did not leave the store immediately. He didn't like THAT. So

>> the manager responded

>> by beginning to punch 911 into her phone. He left. I shook. After I

>> finally managed to get the items I went in there for in the first place, I

was

>> escorted out, just in case he was waiting in the parking lot, but

>> thankfully we didn't see him.

>>

>>

>> As you can imagine, I was a bit shaken after this encounter. His

>> rude invasiveness was one thing, but the aggressive way he came at

>> me was another. It was frightening. Then I wondered if I should have

>> called 911 myself, early on in the encounter. Which brings me to a

>> question...SHOULD one call 911 when we get someone like this who

>> is being so rude and then following us?

>>

>> I SO wanted to head butt him right in the place where it would have

>> hurt most. ; )

>>

>> Anyway, have any of you had an experience like this? If so, how

>> did you handle the situation? This is how we learn from each other.

>>

>> I want to thank all of you for allowing me to share this with you.

>>

>> Adelaide

>>

>>

>>

[Guest guest]

so sorry Adelaide that you had to endure even a second of this person's

sickness:( clearly, he is mentally disturbed, unbalanced and actually scarey,

because ones like him will say they dislike us or hate being in our presence BUT

seek out every opportunity to be near us to confront us as he did with you. i

would consider getting a restraining order from this sicko, no joke. i was

always taught that if you didnt like someone for w/e reason, we ignore them,

avoid them, walk past them and if need be even, walk on the other side of the

street. clearly, this nut, tho he stated where lps should be and how we should

not be seen too, he wanted to see more of you... sick. seriously, look into the

restraining order, because a few like him wont rest until they see us again. sad

to say, even when they say the opposite, they dont want to see us, it's like

they cant get enough of us, go figure, and u can't because he's sick.

~grady

[Guest guest]

One time it happened to me, I was not in the best of moods and told the

perpetrator to " F*** O**

HOWEVER, when I got to the cash out, it became clear that not only was this

person an employee of the store, but he was on youth placement AND had quite bad

learning difficulties!

I felt terrible for the way I had reacted to him:-)

Fred

[Guest guest]

Adelaide! Good gosh!  Your story makes me tear up and if I was in your shoes

I'm

sure I would have been crying.  I've had people be rude, and people be just

absolutely ignorant, which doesn't bother me too much, but never have I

encountered something like that. I am so sorry you had to deal with that

situation and the fear you must have felt.

I don't know if I would have called 911 or just started calling out for help. 

I

think in that situation if calling 911 felt right to you, by all means do it. 

You don't know what he could have done to you or if he was nuttier and

followed

you home!  I am so glad the person said something to management, HOWEVER, I

wish

he would have stayed with you and confronted that man as well!  

I personally think you should put a call into the police department of the city

the store was located in to file a report.  How do you know he may not show up

again?  Sometimes stores that big with different employees and managers can

miscommunicate situations and he could re-appear.

I am glad you are okay though and I pray you never have to go through that

again.

Hugs,

-Moniqu 

________________________________

From: " BASHUM7894@... " <BASHUM7894@...>

dwarfism

Sent: Sat, April 16, 2011 6:47:14 PM

Subject: Sigh...

 

Well, my friends...just the other day I found myself in one of those

upsetting situations we encounter out there, but this one became a

frightening one too. I had been too shaken to share this at first here,

yet in a way, need to, because I know you all understand.

Usually my grocery store experience is a rather happy one, since I

have been shopping there for several years and know everyone who

work there. In the produce section a very tall seventy-ish man noticed

me. He said he bet I wished I could be as tall as he was. I briefly smiled,

but felt uneasy. He then wanted to know if my family

was little. I said, " No. " He said my parents sure must have wanted to

get rid of me when they realized they had a midget! THAT is when I quickly

decided I DEFINITELY did NOT need any produce items and made a very quick

exit away from him. Only it got worse. I was in the cereal aisle. In the

same aisle as the cereal, are cookies. He followed. Suddenly, he slammed a

package of cookies onto the floor, and DEMANDED I pick them up because I

was close to the floor and

" could reach those. " When I didn't, he repeated his " demand. " There was

NO WAY I was going to pick those cookies up. I ignored him and focused on

trying to some cereal instead. Yet here he came again. He then began

taunting me, insisting I get myself a box of cereal off the top shelf, betting

I couldn't do it, could I? He then told me to watch how easy it was for

HIM and what did I think about THAT? As I made yet ANOTHER sudden exit, I

expressed what I thought of him, only I can't share it here. ; )

Anyway, it so happened a store employee was also in the same aisle. I

didn't know it till a bit later, but he went up to the front office and

told management this idiot was stalking me and being extremely rude. I had

proceeded on to the dairy section, but he followed me again. He said the

sight of me turns his stomach and midgets should never be allowed to

associate with normal people and we should all be institutionalized. At THIS

point my blood is really boiling, and I knew I needed help. I hurry to the

front office to get help. Yet thanks to that employee, management was

already on it. They surrounded the man and told him they were going to call the

police if he did not leave the store immediately. He didn't like THAT. So

the manager responded

by beginning to punch 911 into her phone. He left. I shook. After I

finally managed to get the items I went in there for in the first place, I was

escorted out, just in case he was waiting in the parking lot, but

thankfully we didn't see him.

As you can imagine, I was a bit shaken after this encounter. His

rude invasiveness was one thing, but the aggressive way he came at

me was another. It was frightening. Then I wondered if I should have

called 911 myself, early on in the encounter. Which brings me to a

question...SHOULD one call 911 when we get someone like this who

is being so rude and then following us?

I SO wanted to head butt him right in the place where it would have

hurt most. ; )

Anyway, have any of you had an experience like this? If so, how

did you handle the situation? This is how we learn from each other.

I want to thank all of you for allowing me to share this with you.

Adelaide

[Guest guest]

Adelaide

Dear one... if this type behavior ever happens again call 911. You must

protect and look out for yourself. This type of behavior has a negative ending

usually called Purgeing the fixation. We have all encountered this kind of

behavior to some degree... but thatw as over the top. My case was not that

bad... just an ap kept talking about how cute I was and she could carry me in

her purse etc.... still annoyed the heck out of me. Also invest in some

peppermace... preferebly the kind thatr dyes the skin a nice bright orange.

Makes it easier for the cops to find them. I have also seen a reacher stun gun

combo... but cant remember where. *Hugs* hope that is the last you see of that

nut job.

Chass

Sigh...

Well, my friends...just the other day I found myself in one of those

upsetting situations we encounter out there, but this one became a

frightening one too. I had been too shaken to share this at first here,

yet in a way, need to, because I know you all understand.

Usually my grocery store experience is a rather happy one, since I

have been shopping there for several years and know everyone who

work there. In the produce section a very tall seventy-ish man noticed

me. He said he bet I wished I could be as tall as he was. I briefly smiled,

but felt uneasy. He then wanted to know if my family

was little. I said, " No. " He said my parents sure must have wanted to

get rid of me when they realized they had a midget! THAT is when I quickly

decided I DEFINITELY did NOT need any produce items and made a very quick

exit away from him. Only it got worse. I was in the cereal aisle. In the

same aisle as the cereal, are cookies. He followed. Suddenly, he slammed a

package of cookies onto the floor, and DEMANDED I pick them up because I

was close to the floor and

" could reach those. " When I didn't, he repeated his " demand. " There was

NO WAY I was going to pick those cookies up. I ignored him and focused on

trying to some cereal instead. Yet here he came again. He then began

taunting me, insisting I get myself a box of cereal off the top shelf, betting

I couldn't do it, could I? He then told me to watch how easy it was for

HIM and what did I think about THAT? As I made yet ANOTHER sudden exit, I

expressed what I thought of him, only I can't share it here. ; )

Anyway, it so happened a store employee was also in the same aisle. I

didn't know it till a bit later, but he went up to the front office and

told management this idiot was stalking me and being extremely rude. I had

proceeded on to the dairy section, but he followed me again. He said the

sight of me turns his stomach and midgets should never be allowed to

associate with normal people and we should all be institutionalized. At THIS

point my blood is really boiling, and I knew I needed help. I hurry to the

front office to get help. Yet thanks to that employee, management was

already on it. They surrounded the man and told him they were going to call

the

police if he did not leave the store immediately. He didn't like THAT. So

the manager responded

by beginning to punch 911 into her phone. He left. I shook. After I

finally managed to get the items I went in there for in the first place, I was

escorted out, just in case he was waiting in the parking lot, but

thankfully we didn't see him.

As you can imagine, I was a bit shaken after this encounter. His

rude invasiveness was one thing, but the aggressive way he came at

me was another. It was frightening. Then I wondered if I should have

called 911 myself, early on in the encounter. Which brings me to a

question...SHOULD one call 911 when we get someone like this who

is being so rude and then following us?

I SO wanted to head butt him right in the place where it would have

hurt most. ; )

Anyway, have any of you had an experience like this? If so, how

did you handle the situation? This is how we learn from each other.

I want to thank all of you for allowing me to share this with you.

Adelaide

[Guest guest]

Be careful with pepper-spray as it may not be legal in some states.

In a store I'd go right up to any employee or customer service and report it.

Also make sure someone escorts you out to your car afterward.

>

> In all seriousness, I would carry a pepper spray if you don't already have

one:

>

> http://www.amazon.com/dp/B000UVTDLG/?tag=ababa-20

>

> And if you like it in pink:

>

> http://www.amazon.com/dp/B001EWNEC4/?tag=ababa-20

>

> I have one, and they say that you should have it checked every year or so.

>

> Your intuition and smarts are your best weapons too.

>

> -Ellen

>

[Guest guest]

Adelaide,

I am so glad you were not injured and that the store employees stepped in.

I'm also very glad they escorted you outside in case the creep was lurking.

I have had creepy people follow me around stores, and before I left I would

ask an employee to watch out the window until I was in my car, in case they

followed me. As my mother says, some people don't have the sense God gave a

tomato.

Alyce

On Mon, Apr 18, 2011 at 12:33 PM, M <petite_isla@...> wrote:

>

>

>

> Be careful with pepper-spray as it may not be legal in some states.

>

> In a store I'd go right up to any employee or customer service and report

> it. Also make sure someone escorts you out to your car afterward.

>

>

>

>

> >

> > In all seriousness, I would carry a pepper spray if you don't already

> have one:

> >

> > http://www.amazon.com/dp/B000UVTDLG/?tag=ababa-20

> >

> > And if you like it in pink:

> >

> > http://www.amazon.com/dp/B001EWNEC4/?tag=ababa-20

> >

> > I have one, and they say that you should have it checked every year or

> so.

> >

> > Your intuition and smarts are your best weapons too.

> >

> > -Ellen

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Adelaide: Yeah that just went too far in my opinion and I would of gotten a

Staff member to the store manager ASAP! That experience was without a doubt a

threatening one to you and your welling being hands down! That just WRONG....

I recall a similar experience when I lived in Wisconsin. Unfortunately I had a

friends 8 year old daughter with me. I even gave her a quick pep talk before we

went to the store about people " may or may not do " when they see me. I asked

Brittany when we go to the store please stay close to me and try not be afraid.

Anyways, long story short little didn't I know this was going to be a doozey

experience for both of us. Brittany said to me Michele there is a man following

us? I looked over my shoulder and went into instant plan B mode w/ a brave/smart

8 yr girl. I asked Brittany to stay very close to me and I explain quickly Plan

B. We are going to check out as fast as possible I will have car keys in hand.

When we are done I want you to dash to my car and go over to the passenger side

and stay out of site and slide into the car quickly and stay low so we can buy

some time to get in the car safely.

She did just that knowing that person has just lost us for a few minutes enough

time for both to get into the car and lock the door. Brittany shouted Look

Michele he looking for us!! I said when you go by just wave and do not say

anything back to him. She put her window down and waved Good-Bye!

She said to me Michele.....do you have to go through that all time? I said no

Brittany not all the time.....she said what a pain....we looked at each other

and laughed. I thanked Brittany for listening to me and doing what I asked her

to do. She executed that like a real pro and no harm was done to anyone.

Phew!

Today my little Brittany has grown up to become a fine young lady working as a

International Internal Affair as a Lawyer....And refers me as her second mom in

a letter she wrote me when she invited me to witness her graduating back in

2002. Sadly I was unable to attend and I haven't see Brittany in years. I just

have photo's of her all grown up.

Moral of this story is always have a plan B.

Cheers! Michele

[Guest guest]

Awww, my heartfelt thanks, everyone! Actually, I have quickly

moved beyond this experience, even returning to the store several times

since, without any fear. Thankfully, I have a very

close support group of friends, and of course YOU! There just is

something wonderful about sharing our experiences here, and KNOWING we are

" heard " with complete understanding.

I also wanted to share my experience with you, so we ALL could be

aware of this happening, and think about what we would do IF this did

happen. In fifty-two years, this was certainly about the worse experience

I have ever encountered, and now I am much better prepared if anything

like this should ever happen again. I hope we ALL are just a bit better

prepared now, in how we could handle an isolated encounter like this if it ever

happens to us.

Again, you will never know how comforting it was to be able to

share this with you guys, and I am deeply grateful.

Now then...since I am on disability, I live in a HUD subsidized

apartment. A recent opportunity came about, where I can move to

a great HUD subsidized GROUND LEVEL apartment in the country, so

I had applied. The day before this experience I shared with you, I

learned there was an opening, and given just seven days to move!

So I am now in a mad rush to get moved, but it will be a GOOD move

in many ways. Tomorrow is the BIG DAY.

I just wanted to let all of you know, because I will be offline for

a bit these next two days over the weekend.

Thank you again, for your understanding and support,

Adelaide