Little Green Garden Snake OT

[Guest guest]

LITTLE GREEN GARDEN SNAKE

Green Garden Grass Snakes can be very

dangerous.Yes, grass snakes, not

rattlesnakes.

A couple in Sweetwater, Texas had a lot of

potted plants, and during a

recent cold spell, the wife was bringing in a

lot of them to protect

them

from a possible freeze. It turned out that a

little green garden grass

snake was hidden in one of the plant pots, and

when it warmed up in the

house, it slithered out and the wife saw it go

under the sofa.

She let out a very loud scream. Her husband,

who was taking a shower

ran

out into the living room, naked, to see what was

the matter. His wife

told

him there was a snake under the sofa. He got

down on his hands and

knees to

look for it. About that time, the family dog

came up behind him and

cold-nosed him in the rear end. He thought the

snake had bitten him,

so he

fainted. His wife thought he had a heart attack,

so she called an

ambulance.

The attendants rushed in and loaded him on a

stretcher, and started

carrying

him out. About that time the snake came out

from under the sofa, and

the

Emergency Medical Technician saw it and dropped

his end of the

stretcher.

That's when the man broke his leg and why he is

in the hospital.

His wife still had the problem of the snake in

the house, so she called

on a

neighbor for help. He volunteered to capture

the snake. He armed

himself

with a rolled-up newspaper and began poking

under the couch. Soon he

decided it was gone, and told the woman, who sat

down on the sofa in

exhaustion and relief.

But in relaxing, her hand dangled in between the

cushions of the couch,

where she felt the snake wriggling around. She

let out a loud scream,

and

fainted. The snake rushed back under the sofa,

and the neighbor man

seeing

the poor woman laying there passed out on the

floor, tried to use CPR

to

revive her.

The neighbor's wife, who had just returned from

shopping at the grocery

store, saw her husband's mouth on the woman's

mouth and slammed her

husband

in the back of the head with a bag of canned

goods, knocking him out

cold,

and cutting his scalp to a point where it

required several stitches.

An ambulance was called again, and it was

determined that the injury

was

serious enough to require hospitalization. All

the noise woke the

other

woman from her dead faint and she saw her

neighbor lying on the floor

with

his wife bending over him, so she assumed he had

been bitten by the

snake.

She went to the kitchen and brought back a small

bottle of Irish

Whiskey,

and began pouring it down the man's throat.

By now the police had arrived. They saw the

unconscious man, smelled

the

whiskey, and assumed that a drunken fight had

been going on. They were

about to arrest them all, when the two women

tried to explain how it

had all

happened over a little green snake. They called

an ambulance, which

took

away the neighbor and his sobbing wife.

Just then the little snake crawled out from

under the sofa. One of the

policemen drew his revolver and fired at the

snake. He missed and hit

the

leg of the end table that was on one side of the

sofa. The table fell

over,

and the lamp on it shattered and as the bulb

broke, it started a fire

in the

drapes. The other policeman tried to beat out

the flames and fell

through a

window into the yard right on top of the family

dog, who startled,

jumped up

and raced out into the street, where an oncoming

car swerved to try

miss

hitting the dog and smashed into the parked

police car, and set it on

fire.

Meanwhile, the burning drapes had spread to the

walls and the entire

house

was blazing. Neighbors had called the fire

department, and the

arriving

fire truck had started raising his ladder as

they were halfway down the

street. The rising ladder tore out the overhead

wires and knocked out

the

electricity, and disconnected the telephone

service in a ten-square

city

block area.

Time passed..... Both men were discharged from

the hospital. The

house was

re-built, the police acquired a new police car,

and all was right with

their

world.

About a year later they were watching TV and the

weatherman announced a

cold

snap for that night. The husband asked his wife

if she thought they

should

bring in their potted plants for the night? She

shot him.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>Kathi in OK

[Guest guest]

ROFLOL...that is the funniest story I ever read,

had me rolling on the floor laughing..

Thank you so much for the giggle.

Joy

[ ] Little Green Garden Snake OT

LITTLE GREEN GARDEN SNAKE

Green Garden Grass Snakes can be very

dangerous.Yes, grass snakes, not

rattlesnakes.

A couple in Sweetwater, Texas had a lot of

potted plants, and during a

recent cold spell, the wife was bringing in a

lot of them to protect

them

from a possible freeze. It turned out that a

little green garden grass

snake was hidden in one of the plant pots, and

when it warmed up in the

house, it slithered out and the wife saw it go

under the sofa.

She let out a very loud scream. Her husband,

who was taking a shower

ran

out into the living room, naked, to see what was

the matter. His wife

told

him there was a snake under the sofa. He got

down on his hands and

knees to

look for it. About that time, the family dog

came up behind him and

cold-nosed him in the rear end. He thought the

snake had bitten him,

so he

fainted. His wife thought he had a heart attack,

so she called an

ambulance.

The attendants rushed in and loaded him on a

stretcher, and started

carrying

him out. About that time the snake came out

from under the sofa, and

the

Emergency Medical Technician saw it and dropped

his end of the

stretcher.

That's when the man broke his leg and why he is

in the hospital.

His wife still had the problem of the snake in

the house, so she called

on a

neighbor for help. He volunteered to capture

the snake. He armed

himself

with a rolled-up newspaper and began poking

under the couch. Soon he

decided it was gone, and told the woman, who sat

down on the sofa in

exhaustion and relief.

But in relaxing, her hand dangled in between the

cushions of the couch,

where she felt the snake wriggling around. She

let out a loud scream,

and

fainted. The snake rushed back under the sofa,

and the neighbor man

seeing

the poor woman laying there passed out on the

floor, tried to use CPR

to

revive her.

The neighbor's wife, who had just returned from

shopping at the grocery

store, saw her husband's mouth on the woman's

mouth and slammed her

husband

in the back of the head with a bag of canned

goods, knocking him out

cold,

and cutting his scalp to a point where it

required several stitches.

An ambulance was called again, and it was

determined that the injury

was

serious enough to require hospitalization. All

the noise woke the

other

woman from her dead faint and she saw her

neighbor lying on the floor

with

his wife bending over him, so she assumed he had

been bitten by the

snake.

She went to the kitchen and brought back a small

bottle of Irish

Whiskey,

and began pouring it down the man's throat.

By now the police had arrived. They saw the

unconscious man, smelled

the

whiskey, and assumed that a drunken fight had

been going on. They were

about to arrest them all, when the two women

tried to explain how it

had all

happened over a little green snake. They called

an ambulance, which

took

away the neighbor and his sobbing wife.

Just then the little snake crawled out from

under the sofa. One of the

policemen drew his revolver and fired at the

snake. He missed and hit

the

leg of the end table that was on one side of the

sofa. The table fell

over,

and the lamp on it shattered and as the bulb

broke, it started a fire

in the

drapes. The other policeman tried to beat out

the flames and fell

through a

window into the yard right on top of the family

dog, who startled,

jumped up

and raced out into the street, where an oncoming

car swerved to try

miss

hitting the dog and smashed into the parked

police car, and set it on

fire.

Meanwhile, the burning drapes had spread to the

walls and the entire

house

was blazing. Neighbors had called the fire

department, and the

arriving

fire truck had started raising his ladder as

they were halfway down the

street. The rising ladder tore out the overhead

wires and knocked out

the

electricity, and disconnected the telephone

service in a ten-square

city

block area.

Time passed..... Both men were discharged from

the hospital. The

house was

re-built, the police acquired a new police car,

and all was right with

their

world.

About a year later they were watching TV and the

weatherman announced a

cold

snap for that night. The husband asked his wife

if she thought they

should

bring in their potted plants for the night? She

shot him.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>Kathi in OK