Re: I won't let her spoil my good time!

[Guest guest]

Wow Stacey,

I must say you have more patience than me! (Must be from being a

mom

My mother is an Anglican Priest (yes Priest, not nun or deacon lol)

and growing up she was great about not forcing religion on me. She

invites me to important events at her church (like the service to

celebrate their new renovations, and Christmas) and I attend, more

because I love my mother than for wishing to express some deep

spiritual self.

My husband's mother though is very strongly Mennonite and she does

speak openly about God and can be a little pushy in encouraging her

son and I to attend church, she also doesn't think we are " bad

people " . I can feel a little pressured by her, but never like I need

to apologize for my beliefs.

When I told my mother that I'm not sure I believe in God (many years

ago) she didn't say I was a bad person, she simply said " That's

okay, God believes in you " . I like this approach much better than

trying to force feed religion (or any topic) to a person.

I've had my fair share of difficult family members, so I can

sympathize with your situation... I hope you're able to continue

with your " not letting her get to you " plan!!

Regards,

Ruth

> Hi All,

> Today was a fun day for Wyatt and me. We went to Caty's (my

neice's)

> birthday party at a skating rink. Wyatt skated for the first time

and he did

> very well. We had such a good time. After the skating, we all

went to my

> younger sis's (Regina) house for cake and ice cream. Again, we

were all

> having such a nice time talking and the kids were playing nicely.

Until my

> older sister () arrived. She likes to take over the

conversation, which

> she did. No problem, I just sat back and listened. UNTIL.....

she made the

> statement that we were bad people because we don't go to church on

a regular

> basis. Then I just had to say something. Now, you all know of

the problems

> that I have had with my faith, and I feel that I have finally come

to an

> acceptance of certain things regarding religion. First of all, I

don't feel

> that any person is " bad " because they choose to pray in private

instead of in

> public. It doesn't mean that I don't believe in God or that I

don't pray.

> It just means that I don't feel the need to have everyone

else " see " me pray.

> Second, there is that whole Catholic Church scandal. I have my

opinion and

> I told her what it is. I won't go into that aspect here, because

I don't

> want to offend anyone, but basically, she told me that I am

stupid. Fine,

> she doesn't agree with me. That does not make me stupid. I know

that

> everyone has their own opinions in life and they may not always

agree with

> mine, but I try to respect their right to their opinions. Anyway,

the night

> goes on. Someone started talking about learning disabilities.

Well here we

> go again. 's daughter, , is having a hard time with

reading.

> pulled her out of public school and put her into a Catholic

school. She

> blamed 's bad grades on the school and the teachers. Well,

is

> still having trouble with reading after 2 years in Catholic

school. So now

> it is this school's fault. Someone asked her if was ever

tested for

> learning disabilities, and she said that she tried but was told

that

> was not qualified. WHAT? So I asked her if she tried the local

college, as

> I know they have programs there. She said no. I asked her if she

called

> Community Action. She said no. So basically, it is just easier

for her to

> blame the school system. By the way, Wyatt goes to the same

public school

> and is doing great with reading. So I am not going to let her

make me feel

> like a bad person because I choose not to support an organized

religion. I

> feel that if you live a good life and try your best to be a good

person, then

> you are a good person. And that's me.

> We did have a good time at the ice skating rink though. I am so

proud of

> Wyatt. Now he wants to take lessons. Now that's something that I

wouldn't

> mind investing in. It's not really that expensive and he has such

a good

> time. I had just as much fun watching him. Although the coldness

of the

> room really made me stiffen up and when I started warming up

afterwards, I

> started hurting. I know its my fault. I had a Remicade infusion

Thursday

> and it went very well. I went alone this time and didn't have any

probs. It

> was actually relaxing. I had the room to myself and the nurses

are just so

> nice and helpful.

> My car is fixed. For now. The guy almost hit a deer when he was

delivering

> it to me though. Isn't that the way things have been going for

me?! He

> didn't hit it and it was delivered in good shape. Things may be

looking up.

> Love and Hugs

> Stacey in PA

[Guest guest]

Hi, Stacey,

It is so sad to hear of these kinds of situations between siblings.

How do they start? There are any number of ways. How do we resolve them?

Many people do not try... Perhaps we should do what my parents and pastors

have always suggested, " leave them to God " . There is a tremendous

difference between religion and faith, but each must find that out for her

or himself.

Since your sister joined you, I am assuming that she resides in PA.

Why her child would not be " eligible " for testing for possible learning

disabilities has to do with the child being enrolled in a private school.

Does she have health insurance? If so, then a psychiatrist or psychologist

can have the testing done. Perhaps the school has some contacts and could

provide a referral?

Difficulty with reading can be something as simple as having a

vision problem. It could also be dyslexia. One is helped with glasses or

contacts. The other is helped with various tools and tutoring. The problem

is that if this continues for very much longer, the child is the one who is

going to suffer -- in more ways than one. Reading is the most necessary

skill required for even an " adequate " education. Perhaps 's pride is

more invested in this than her daughter's well-being? Sometimes parents

feel that whatever problems their children have are a reflection of the

parents. That isn't true, but human ego is a difficult thing to deal with.

Pray for her and her daughter, but give her some hints toward finding the

help that her daughter needs..

Now that you know that it is a bit cold for you at the skating rink,

bring a stadium blanket with you and dress a bit warmer. I also stiffen up

if I am in a place where it is cool and I sit for too long. The stadium

blankets are great because they fold up and slide inside a case that can

double as a cushion.

Rising in the morning means being stiff and sore before I begin, but

as the weather grows colder, I adjust the heat in my home and I wear

" sweats " to sleep in. That isn't always the most comfortable thing to wear,

but I am so sensitive to heat and cold and if my legs get too cold, they

really hurt. I would rather not be awakened by throbbing legs...

Dianne

----- Original Message -----

From: <bintherdunit@...>

> Hi All,

> Today was a fun day for Wyatt and me. We went to Caty's (my neice's)

> birthday party at a skating rink. Wyatt skated for the first time and he

did

> very well. We had such a good time. After the skating, we all went to my

> younger sis's (Regina) house for cake and ice cream. Again, we were all

> having such a nice time talking and the kids were playing nicely. Until

my

> older sister () arrived. She likes to take over the conversation,

which

> she did. No problem, I just sat back and listened. UNTIL..... she made

the

> statement that we were bad people because we don't go to church on a

regular

> basis. Then I just had to say something. Now, you all know of the

problems

> that I have had with my faith, and I feel that I have finally come to an

> acceptance of certain things regarding religion. First of all, I don't

feel

> that any person is " bad " because they choose to pray in private instead of

in

> public. It doesn't mean that I don't believe in God or that I don't pray.

> It just means that I don't feel the need to have everyone else " see " me

pray.

> Second, there is that whole Catholic Church scandal. I have my opinion

and

> I told her what it is. I won't go into that aspect here, because I don't

> want to offend anyone, but basically, she told me that I am stupid. Fine,

> she doesn't agree with me. That does not make me stupid. I know that

> everyone has their own opinions in life and they may not always agree with

> mine, but I try to respect their right to their opinions. Anyway, the

night

> goes on. Someone started talking about learning disabilities. Well here

we

> go again. 's daughter, , is having a hard time with reading.

> pulled her out of public school and put her into a Catholic school. She

> blamed 's bad grades on the school and the teachers. Well,

is

> still having trouble with reading after 2 years in Catholic school. So

now

> it is this school's fault. Someone asked her if was ever tested

for

> learning disabilities, and she said that she tried but was told that

> was not qualified. WHAT? So I asked her if she tried the local college,

as

> I know they have programs there. She said no. I asked her if she called

> Community Action. She said no. So basically, it is just easier for her

to

> blame the school system. By the way, Wyatt goes to the same public school

> and is doing great with reading. So I am not going to let her make me

feel

> like a bad person because I choose not to support an organized religion.

I

> feel that if you live a good life and try your best to be a good person,

then

> you are a good person. And that's me.

> We did have a good time at the ice skating rink though. I am so proud of

> Wyatt. Now he wants to take lessons. Now that's something that I

wouldn't

> mind investing in. It's not really that expensive and he has such a good

> time. I had just as much fun watching him. Although the coldness of the

> room really made me stiffen up and when I started warming up afterwards, I

> started hurting. I know its my fault. I had a Remicade infusion Thursday

> and it went very well. I went alone this time and didn't have any probs.

It

> was actually relaxing. I had the room to myself and the nurses are just

so

> nice and helpful.

> My car is fixed. For now. The guy almost hit a deer when he was

delivering

> it to me though. Isn't that the way things have been going for me?! He

> didn't hit it and it was delivered in good shape. Things may be looking

up.

> Love and Hugs

> Stacey in PA

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Stacey, as you can see from the number of responses, the kind of

situation you describe with hit a nerve! Some people make telling

other people how to live their lives a full-time job. I don't like it,

and I have a hard time understanding it. It's really none of 's

business whether you or anyone else attends Mass, and I'm not sure being

judgmental is at all Christian. I'll keep quiet about the latest scandal

in the Church, too, since what I have to say could get ugly, but I have

a feeling we are thinking along the same lines, LOL. I'm glad you voiced

your side of the issue to your sister. Best of all, I'm glad you didn't

let her run your fun!

I hope Wyatt can take skating lessons. I used to love it. I can remember

going in the winter to the park a few blocks away from our house and

skating until I could no longer feel my feet. Tons of other kids would

be, too. That's what we used to do for entertainment. My kids look at me

as if I'm from Mars when I reminisce about the good old days and the

simple pleasures.

Sorry that you've had such a run of bad luck lately. I'm glad that your

car is finally back. Let's hope for an upward trend now!

[ ] I won't let her spoil my good time!

> Hi All,

> Today was a fun day for Wyatt and me. We went to Caty's (my neice's)

> birthday party at a skating rink. Wyatt skated for the first time and

he did

> very well. We had such a good time. After the skating, we all went

to my

> younger sis's (Regina) house for cake and ice cream. Again, we were

all

> having such a nice time talking and the kids were playing nicely.

Until my

> older sister () arrived. She likes to take over the conversation,

which

> she did. No problem, I just sat back and listened. UNTIL..... she

made the

> statement that we were bad people because we don't go to church on a

regular

> basis. Then I just had to say something. Now, you all know of the

problems

> that I have had with my faith, and I feel that I have finally come to

an

> acceptance of certain things regarding religion. First of all, I

don't feel

> that any person is " bad " because they choose to pray in private

instead of in

> public. It doesn't mean that I don't believe in God or that I don't

pray.

> It just means that I don't feel the need to have everyone else " see "

me pray.

> Second, there is that whole Catholic Church scandal. I have my

opinion and

> I told her what it is. I won't go into that aspect here, because I

don't

> want to offend anyone, but basically, she told me that I am stupid.

Fine,

> she doesn't agree with me. That does not make me stupid. I know that

> everyone has their own opinions in life and they may not always agree

with

> mine, but I try to respect their right to their opinions. Anyway, the

night

> goes on. Someone started talking about learning disabilities. Well

here we

> go again. 's daughter, , is having a hard time with

reading.

> pulled her out of public school and put her into a Catholic school.

She

> blamed 's bad grades on the school and the teachers. Well,

is

> still having trouble with reading after 2 years in Catholic school.

So now

> it is this school's fault. Someone asked her if was ever

tested for

> learning disabilities, and she said that she tried but was told that

> was not qualified. WHAT? So I asked her if she tried the local

college, as

> I know they have programs there. She said no. I asked her if she

called

> Community Action. She said no. So basically, it is just easier for

her to

> blame the school system. By the way, Wyatt goes to the same public

school

> and is doing great with reading. So I am not going to let her make me

feel

> like a bad person because I choose not to support an organized

religion. I

> feel that if you live a good life and try your best to be a good perso

n, then

> you are a good person. And that's me.

> We did have a good time at the ice skating rink though. I am so proud

of

> Wyatt. Now he wants to take lessons. Now that's something that I

wouldn't

> mind investing in. It's not really that expensive and he has such a

good

> time. I had just as much fun watching him. Although the coldness of

the

> room really made me stiffen up and when I started warming up

afterwards, I

> started hurting. I know its my fault. I had a Remicade infusion

Thursday

> and it went very well. I went alone this time and didn't have any

probs. It

> was actually relaxing. I had the room to myself and the nurses are

just so

> nice and helpful.

> My car is fixed. For now. The guy almost hit a deer when he was

delivering

> it to me though. Isn't that the way things have been going for me?!

He

> didn't hit it and it was delivered in good shape. Things may be

looking up.

> Love and Hugs

> Stacey in PA