Re: What a miserable day!

November 6, 2002

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Anne))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Don't apologize for venting. That's what we're here for! Many of us have

been through days similar to what you're experiencing, and it certainly isn'

t fun. I was just thinking that the house is getting out of hand, too, and

I'm feeling terrible and unable to do it just now. Hopefully your husband

will understand that you can't get over a flare until you rest and give your

body time to recuperate, and that you need his help.

Sending love and hugs,

Carol

[ ] What a miserable day!

I am sorry for posting this rant. I do really hate to complain to

anyone but I really need to get a few things off my chest that are

driving me up the wall. I feel like hell. I was bawling while trying

to make my daughters toaster waffles this morning. I could not get

the lid off of her sippy cup, could barely spread the margarine on

her waffles and to make matters all the worse, my husband was sitting

at the table, said " that bad huh? " and went upstairs.

My house is a disaster, I have not vacumed all week, the dishes are

piliing up and I had a fight with my hubby about laundry. He wants to

know where all the clean towells are....well if he put some in the

washer there would be some! I just spent the last hour tidying up the

living room so you can actually walk (2 year olds make huge messes

with their toys) and I asked him to get Livia dressed and he said " I

guess so, even though I have to go to work. " hmmmmm. The only reason

I was killing myself trying to clean up the mess is because I have to

work today too and if I don't do it, I know he won't. So now I feel

like my arms are being ripped out of their sockets. My Vioxx has not

quite kicked in for the day and I know that all the stuff I just did,

as well as having to work a very physical job for 6 hours tonight are

going to render me utterly useless and in agony tommorow.

I am still trying to get my groove going where I can do these things

and not feel like heck the next day but I just can't seem to get

caught up on the housework. I have zero help from my hubby when it

comes to this sort of thing becuse he is and always will be a momma's

boy who is used to having it all done for him. In the past it was not

that big of a deal because I only work 3 days a week and he workes 4-

5 days. I chose to stay home with my daughter and only work part

time. But now, I know I need the help and he just won't get it

through his thick skull that I can't do everything at the moment. I

keep telling him it is not going to get any better if he does not

care of does not help me so that I can rest. Sorry this is so darned

long. I am just frustrated and angry at myself for not being able to

cope with this and not being able to not do everything.

Anne

November 6, 2002

(((((((((((((((((Anne)))))))))))))))))))

I hope it felt good to rant and get this off of your chest. Don¹t be sorry

for complaining. Your complaints are valid. It isn¹t easy living with

chronic joint pains while caring for a family and working. I hope you¹re

able to get your husband to be more helpful with the housework and

childcare. It¹s not your fault that you are sick, so try not to be angry

with yourself.

a

> I am sorry for posting this rant. I do really hate to complain to

> anyone but I really need to get a few things off my chest that are

> driving me up the wall. I feel like hell. I was bawling while trying

> to make my daughters toaster waffles this morning. I could not get

> the lid off of her sippy cup, could barely spread the margarine on

> her waffles and to make matters all the worse, my husband was sitting

> at the table, said " that bad huh? " and went upstairs.

>

> My house is a disaster, I have not vacumed all week, the dishes are

> piliing up and I had a fight with my hubby about laundry. He wants to

> know where all the clean towells are....well if he put some in the

> washer there would be some! I just spent the last hour tidying up the

> living room so you can actually walk (2 year olds make huge messes

> with their toys) and I asked him to get Livia dressed and he said " I

> guess so, even though I have to go to work. " hmmmmm. The only reason

> I was killing myself trying to clean up the mess is because I have to

> work today too and if I don't do it, I know he won't. So now I feel

> like my arms are being ripped out of their sockets. My Vioxx has not

> quite kicked in for the day and I know that all the stuff I just did,

> as well as having to work a very physical job for 6 hours tonight are

> going to render me utterly useless and in agony tommorow.

>

> I am still trying to get my groove going where I can do these things

> and not feel like heck the next day but I just can't seem to get

> caught up on the housework. I have zero help from my hubby when it

> comes to this sort of thing becuse he is and always will be a momma's

> boy who is used to having it all done for him. In the past it was not

> that big of a deal because I only work 3 days a week and he workes 4-

> 5 days. I chose to stay home with my daughter and only work part

> time. But now, I know I need the help and he just won't get it

> through his thick skull that I can't do everything at the moment. I

> keep telling him it is not going to get any better if he does not

> care of does not help me so that I can rest. Sorry this is so darned

> long. I am just frustrated and angry at myself for not being able to

> cope with this and not being able to not do everything.

>

> Anne

>

November 6, 2002

Anne, I am so sorry you are having so much on you. I have grown girls.

Three of them, ages 24, 25, 29.

I have Grandbabies... I have twin (boy/girl) 3 years old, one 4 year

old, one 1 year old, Grandbabies.

I had them all this summer..first the twins for about 6 weeks. Then 4

year old for about 5 weeks. I had a ball. I loved having/raising kids.

I had trouble " doing things " for and with them that normal people do

without a thought, this summer also. So why not start " teaching " your

baby to " do " for herself? Pick up toys, tidy room, not put toys in

living/den area. And the most important, " fixing " her plate. Teach her

to butter things...with a big butter " non " knife of course! And other

little things. This is good oportunity to do this. All my grandbabies do

for themselves here. If a shirt is on backwards...I laugh and say, turn

it around...and show them. When I check them to see if their bath was

COMPLETE, and it wasn't... I point and say, " WASH THERE... " (hard to

bathe a child when you can't bend, etc., over tub.) If Their bed isn't

" made " correct? Who cares? THEY DID IT ! And make them feel proud!

As for " teaching " husband.... NOT A CHANCE! Ha! Sorry...but just my

opinion (from daily experience!) If he were 2 also... then MAYBE.

I have a house cleaning system. It is almost like the system that this

list sent to all of us this year from FLY LADY. I can't remember the

LINK. But someone here will. It is priceless! I have always managed,

even when " well " , to keep my house presentable and neat, and clean (to a

degree!). I am not an " organized person " , but just the way I do it

seems to make me " feel " organized. (And it LOOKS organized...just don't

open that spare bedroom walk-in closet!) I have always done my

cleaning this way (or close to the way FLY LADY suggests it done) ...so

I was glad to see the FLY LADY site and be able to send " instructions "

to my middle daughter (with twins and 1 year old) , who has started

using her suggestions. Has made her life MUCH easier and organized.

Hey...and about the husband... just keep in mind that old expression:

" You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink... " And if

that doesn't fit, then remember: " You can't teach an old dog new

tricks. "

You sound so sweet Anne. Even with being ill, look around... these first

few years you spend caring for, training and raising your child will

always be the best years of your life.... and they are over so fast.

These years are a learning experience for BOTH of you. You hold so much

inside you that you can teach her. Even your illness can be an

inspiration and teach her patience and teach her how to " cope " and

endure with lifes twists and turns as she grows through life.

And you can post all your " rants " here...that way it relieves the

pressure to rant at home! Hey... I know!

Susie (Elf)

Anne wrote: