Re: Holiday blues

December 5, 2002

<PRE>carol, i have always suffered from holiday blues. now this year with not

having money makes it so much worse. i feel bad that i can not honor my

family and friends like i have in the past. i know it is not that big of a

deal. that the holidays mean so much more than that. i have always had

problems around christmas, especially after my husband commited suicide right

after the holidays, 10 years ago. but before also. i just never felt that i

deserved what i got and sometimes felt i deserved more. jealous of what other

couples had and the love they shared i guess. to top it off we are not going

to set up christmas decorations this year with the kitten. now i have all of

the ingredients to bake my goodies.chocolate chips, peanut butter cookies,

rice krispie treats that my son will have to do. i haven't been able to stir

like that in a couple of years. maybe some brownies or a cake. now my mixer

cord has a short in it. my parents dog is ill and not sure if he will need to

go to sleep, or if they will not come. i hope you get to feeling better soon.

rest and have a cup of tea for yourself. kathy in il

December 5, 2002

Carol: Just reading this post made me tired .....it sounds like a

daunting holiday season for you......you asked for advice? A couple of

years ago, I tried to DO everything and ended up crying my head off

through most of the season...so I started making a list of what I had

to do and to the side put a big red star on the ones to go all out on

and the ones that could get by with minimal effort or that I could

cheat and ask someone to help with.....when it was down on paper with

the most important to the least important it didnt seem quite as

bad....I have the good fortune to have an older daughter that I can

call and beg, which I sometimes do especially for things like wrapping

which have become quite difficult on bad hand days.....maybe you could

ask a friend? Anyways am thinking of you and please try not to overdo

.....although it looks like that will be impossible...I also was

wondering about Heidi, and also hoping she is not having a bad bout of

morning sickness, but this is just about the right months for that to

be starting, also wondering about Al as he seems to be absent. Anyway

take care of yourself...hugs to you...Kathi in OK

In @y..., " Carol " <carol@c...> wrote:

> Hi Friends,

>

> I'm sorry I've been so distant lately, but I was just exhausted

after my

> trip to Chicago. And the next month promises to be even busier. I

had my

> Remicade infusion on Tuesday, and I'm glad to have that out of the

way. I

> still hurt a lot, but I have so much more energy today. Let me

backtrack, I

> hurt because I completed ALL my gift shopping over the past two

days. What

> a relief to have all that done! Of course, I still have finals

right now, I

> have the house and tree to decorate, I'm giving a party at home for

my

> sunday school class, and I have baking I want to do. Oh, I have to

send my

> christmas cards and have gifts for our clients to handle. Then I

have my

> trip on the 17th to Atl, then to Salt Lake City, then back to Atl

for Xmas.

>

> I'd be willing to bet many of you have equally daunting plans for

the

> holidays. It's funny, because I made a decision to pace myself and

put my

> health first, yet I don't seem to be able to cut much of anything

out. Does

> anyone have any hints or ideas about how to make the holidays

easier? If

> so, do share!

>

> The other bummer right now is that Stan has a bad upper respiratory

> infection, and I think I'm catching it. Certainly the last thing I

need

> right now is to be sick. :-(

>

> I haven't seen any news from Heidi the past couple of days. I hope

she's

> feeling OK and isn't too overwhelmed with morning sickness.

>

> , I hope your biopsy goes well. Do keep us informed.

>

> Of course, the news that Deb's headed home is incredibly exciting.

I tried

> to call her on the cell last night, but got no answer. If you read

this,

> Deb, I love you and miss you.

>

> And my love to all of you,

> Carol

December 5, 2002

Hi Carol,

My, you are a busy one, aren't you. Do me a favor. Sit down, take a deep

breath, and take one thing at a time. Don't forget to take care of you. I

do hope that you are not getting another URI. You had such trouble with the

last one. I have planned almost nothing for this holiday season. Wyatt has

lunch with Santa, and a couple of Christmas parties, but nothing overly

stressful. I am finding that I get fatigues much easier these days so I am

keeping it simple. I just don't know how I did it all before. Maybe my body

was posessed by another person who is more organized, but she didn't like the

accommodations so she left and this is what is left. LOL! Take care and

don't forget to take time for you.

Love and Hugs

Stacey in PA

December 5, 2002

<PRE>thanks carol. he was planning for awhile too. the last christmas we went

downtown and took a carraige ride and saw the store windows with our son and

one of his friends.it was a really nice day, seemed like another new start.

it makes me think back and now i know he knew it was his last holiday with

us. they are nice memories but then it's always lurking in the background and

you wonder why you didn't see it. or what you could've done or said

differently. most of the time i have moved on, but this time of year,

especially being alone. but then it's back to reality. kathy in il

December 5, 2002

Oh Kathi, that's a great idea too! I did talk to my mom about all the

wrapping, and I'm going to bring all my gifts up unwrapped (other than hers

and 's), and we're going to have a " wrapping party " . I almost cried I

was so happy when she suggested it. I've been toying with the idea of

skipping the tree this year (since we're not going to be here), but I'd be

so sad to miss doing it. And my kids from my sunday school class are coming

for the party (and ornament making), and I want to have it up for them.

Last year (before I was diagnosed, but I was having really bad symptoms), I

tried to be Martha and ended up miserable. The whole holiday was a

bust because I was hurting so much I couldn't enjoy it. This year, of

course, I've got the help of the MTX, Remicade and Lortab if it gets rough,

so I'm thinking I can do a little more.

I really appreciate the great idea, and I'm going to do that tonight.

You're in my thoughts often, too, and I'm sending you a big

((((((((((((((((((((((Christmas hug))))))))))))))))))))))).

Lots of love,

Carol

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