You know you have arthritis if......

[Guest guest]

You know you have RA if... (Courtesy of Arthritis Insight Newsletter Vol 4

Issue 132 12/11/02)

* Not only does the pharmacist know your name, but all the people that work

there have been your friends.

* The pharmacist gets tired of renting you crutches and gives you a pair

since you have paid enough rent over the years to buy them anyway.

* When you have had the opportunity to read every OLD magazine ever written

(docs offices)

* When you have a place in your closet reserved just for crutches,

orthopedic boots, canes and other devices that help you get by on those bad

days and a shelf or drawer that is full of ace wraps and braces.

* When you have such a large supply of ice packs from past surgeries that

you can cool everything in a full size cooler without using one ice cube.

* You know you have RA when you fall asleep over the keyboard.

* When you fall asleep while eating, and wake up with a piece of cake

smashed to crumbs in your hand!

* When you keep a card in front of you with all your insight names and

passwords in front of you!

* CLEAN....are we still required to do that?!?!?

* You know you have RA if your heating pad sits out permanently like a

decoration. Mine sits on top of the microwave (my heating pad is

microwavable).

* This morning I called and said, " I want to check on a refill, this is

Pa- "

They cut me off with, " Hi Ms. , yeah, it's ready. " They knew my

voice!!!!!!!!

* You take a shopping cart from the lot into the store with you because you

need something to lean on (just got back from shopping LOL!)

* If you only use the front stove burners because the rear ones are too

hard to get to!

* You try on shoes for comfort and not style.

* You look for clothes that button in the front because you no longer can

zip and unzip the back.

* You wear stretch pants because you never know how big your knee will get.

* You use your nutcracker to open bottled water and sodas.

* You get your kids to open the child-proof drug containers for you.

* If you have as much medication as your mother and father combined.(that's

a lot!)

* You're family doesn't even ask you to do certain things anymore. they

just know you can't!

* If people tell you that you should work in the medical profession because

you can name a number of different medications, you know what they're used

for and in what doses they're given.

* You can also name diagnoses of different parts of the body using medical

terminology like tenosynovitis of the posterior tibial tendon.

* You have a list of specialists you see on a regular basis...some of whom

people have never even heard of!

* If you call yourself a GIMP and can laugh about it!

* Your dog stares at you with a sad face cause you don't have enough energy

to take him out for long walks anymore.

* You drive with your left hand cause your right hand is too achy.

* You spend soooo much time on the computer trying to learn all you can and

get support!

* You take the elevator more often than not.

* You're always rushing to the bathroom from drinking so much water to get

those pills down!!

* Your Grandmother, with her bad knees, can beat you to the car.

* Your hubby (God bless him!) has to tie your shoes.

* Your shoes fit one day and the next, you wonder what on earth you were

thinking.

* Overdoing it means going grocery shopping.

* You treat everything with a sense of humor, because, heck, that's all we

have left.

* It takes you a half an hour to get dressed in the morning

* It takes an hour for the film to clear from your eyes in the morning

* It takes two hands to brush your teeth

* You have to ask someone to get something off the shelf in the store as

you can't get your arms up there!!

* When you can laugh at these jokes and nobody else thinks they're funny.

* When you spend 30 minutes trying to get on the toilet, and then another

30 minutes figuring out how you're going to get off of it. (That's early

on RA guys...remember?) No more " I'll be right back, I'm running to the

bathroom. "

* It takes both hands to turn the ignition in your car!

* You get so excited about buying a new heating pad!

* Sleeping through the night only happens in your dreams!

* When your mother can hear your joints cracking as you sit down.

* When the wall of your home becomes an assistive device

* When the jar opener and electric can opener are the most important

appliances in your house.

* When you drop something on the floor and you have to call some on to pick

it up.

* A dr/tech/nurse asks what meds you are on and you pull out your list

which looks more like a novel!

Find more humor at:

http://www.arthritisinsight.com/fun/jokes

Send yours in today!

[Guest guest]

Oh how I can relate to so many of these LOL!

a

[Guest guest]

This is funny and so true. I am going to send this to my mother because she

laughs every time she sees one of these things happen to me, and, sadly, I

have experienced just about every one of them. Especially the bathroom one.

I now know what stores have " safe " bathrooms for me to use, because I have

gotten stuck in one too many of them. LOL....... And I thought it was only

me.......

Love and Hugs

Stacey in PA