Re: Heading to Atl / Rant

December 16, 2002

Hi, Carol,

I am so sorry that your day has started out with such a

disappointment. Men can be such incredible jerks! They do not seem to want

to understand taht we women are " emotional beings " and that we get hurt when

they act badly or do not even attempt to remember the things that are

important to us.

After 35 years of marriage, my husband still forgets my birthday, so

I deliberately " Flag " the date in his Day-Timer, and circle the date on the

big wall calendar. Oddly enough, he does not forget our anniversary, but

since it is only four days after his own birthday, he would be hard-pressed

to find an excuse for doing so....

Look, girlfriend... This " deficit " is your husband's not your own,

so you finish your preparations for your trip to Atlanta and plan to enjoy

yourself while you are there. Just figure that he is short on memory cells

and forget about that until after the holidays, then grab his laptop

computer and add a calendar program with reminders in it to his software

collection. If he doesn't have a laptop computer, then buy him a

day-planner of some kind and put the reminders in there for him -- don't

wait for him to remember to do it himself.

Merry Christmas!

Dianne

----- Original Message -----

From: " Carol " <carol@...>

Hi Friends,

I'm going on digest version today, because I'm heading to Atlanta to start

my Christmas vacation. I'm not starting it out on a very joyous note,

though. Today is my wedding anniversary and my husband left town last night

to see a client. He didn't even get me a card. He said he didn't have time

to get a gift or card, but my heck he certainly could have planned in

advance. It's not like our anniversary mysteriously pops up on a day out of

the blue, it's the same day every year. Needless to say I'm really hurt.

In my eyes, it just goes to show how little he values our marriage.

Then, he gives me a hundred dollar bill. Duh! That really makes it better.

Give me a little cash. It certainly shows a lot of love and thought. What

a cad!

He called this morning and didn't even think to tell me " happy anniversary " .

Doesn't he have time for that, either?

Otherwise, our marriage isn't bad. I mean, sometimes I think it's like we

share a home but that's about it. We live very separate lives lately. But

when we're together we have a nice time, and we're best friends. (Although

he's not feeling like a best friend right now). Last night I was thinking

if this is what I really want out of a marriage, but with the RA it isn't

worth going out on my own and struggling. If it were bad I would, but not

for so-so. Thank you, RA, for entering into every aspect of my life.

Oh well. There's nowhere for the week to go but up from here. Thanks for

letting me vent.

I love you guys, and appreciate your friendship. I hope each of you has a

Happy Holiday season.

Tons of love,

Carol

December 16, 2002

Hi Carol,

I'm new to RA chat but not new to husbands. Are you sure we didn't marry

brothers? My husband use to do the same thing until I started giving him the

same gift(money) he gave me. That opened his eyes because he was use to me

giving him nice gifts on holidays. As far as thinking about leaving, DON'T

even thank about that. We all feel like leaving for the moment but things

always get better. And remember, men are soooooo much different from woman.

Theresa

December 16, 2002

Hi Dianne,

Thanks for the support and the advice about adding the date to his outlook

calendar. It's a really good idea, and I'm going to be sure to do it after

the holidays.

Lots of love,

Carol

Re: [ ] Heading to Atl / Rant