Judi

[Guest guest]

Hi Judi...I have a wonderful, dear Aunt, who has had RA since her

40's...she's nearly 80 now. Her hands and feet are mightily crippled,

but she keeps going, God bless her. When I first got the RA diagnosis

some of my extended family thought it must not be a big deal for me as I

am not crippled like my Aunt. Trying to explain about RA - that I was

fortunate to be diagnosed in an era when there were things to try that

Aunte June didn't have, pretty much fell on deaf ears. I know some felt

it " HAD " to have something to do with my weight. Many thought it was

just a 'touch' of arthritis that most get growing older. Trying to

explain the autoimmune component and systemic nature...well..didn't get

me far. My mom was so shocked by my little hands swollen and fingers not

bending, she began to understand. To this day, I am rarely asked how I

am...I have had one thing after another since being diagnosed with

asthma at 2 months, sometimes it really feels like they are just sick &

tired of my problems. I have had to learn to build my support network

myself, and not to expect people to necessarily come around.

Sometimes I feel angry cause I didn't ask for this, just I do my best to

put one foot ahead of the other. I have a very hard time understanding

how famly can be absolutely compassionate and concerned for neighbors,

friends, acquaintances, but if I bring up 2 words abot how I feel I

usually get an " oh " or " that's too bad. "

Period. Sometimes it's just wiser to 'choose your audience wisely',

someone told me. It's sad it has to be that way, but I think it's good

advice.

Some people say that family members go into denial and just cannot deal

with illness striking too close to home. That may be true. I know my

family loves me. And I'm sure I have contributed to the problem by being

in the role of the peace-maker...let's just smooth everything over.

My kids are not like that, nor is my Aunt June. I am greatful I can

speak pretty candidly, and know I have been heard.

Ignorance is a sorry thing...if people minimize or discout fibromyalgia

or any other illness, they need to get educated. Of course not everyone

is willing.

All of this is probably the most profound reason why this group has been

such a buoy for me. Just to know folks understand is precious. To be

accepted & loved is a mighty gift.

Ok, off my soapbox. : )

I haven't tried the muffin recipe yet, but I have it handy and will

soon. You are very dear, Judi, and much loved.

Little guy not wanting to be a cow is too cute! It's funny how little

kids get an idea in their heads and stick to it!

Oodles of Hugs & Love...

Tess