Guest guest Posted December 25, 2002 Report Share Posted December 25, 2002 Thank you all for your tenderness & understanding. It means so much to me. My sister has been doing the Christmas open house for maybe 15 years....a long time. No, she has never invited me or my kids. My folks are quite elderly but in good health. They are slowing down...I know it's hard on them. I truly don't understand what happened....it wasn't going to be a big party like last weekend, but a quiet afternoon. Em made me a wonderful breakfast, and we opened our Santa gifts. She was tickled as was I. I probably will never quite understand why my birth family seems, at times, to want to keep their distance. I know they love me, and I dearly love them. I've really pondered this through the years and cannot come up with any reasoning, and just end up thinking it's because I am weird, sick, obese, etc...I'm NOT doing that anymore. Most of the time I'm in a place of acceptance...now I need to more fully accept myself. You, loving and accepting me, helps so much. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. A Blessed Christmas & New Year For Us All... Tess Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 26, 2002 Report Share Posted December 26, 2002 <PRE>tess maybe next year you should just go to your sister's " open house " tell her it means all are welcome!!! glad you and em had a nice christmas despite your family. kathy in il Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 26, 2002 Report Share Posted December 26, 2002 Hi Tess, Sometimes families can be hard to understand. I was in the hospital 15 times in a year and a half, my older brother and mother came once. I know the first time I was in I, didn't want my children to tell my mother or sister. My sister likes to take over and I won't tolerate it. Anyway they came to the hospital that day, and I have no memory of this, but they say I sent them away. I was so sick so I don't believe I did it but I was very ill. Plus it is not in my nature to do something like that. My sister will go so far as to even try to talk to the doctors, just so she can say " she talked to the doctors " . I can do my own talking. Well my mother has come to see me once in all the times I have been in the hospital. I guess this is my punishment for the first visit. Plus I ask that no one but my children be at the hospital the day of the surgery, that is held against me. With my most recent surgery I was home 11 weeks getting better and my mother, sister, nor either brother came to see me. My sister called the other day to say I never want to go anywhere with her. I told her all she wants to do is shop or eat out. She told me, we could have a cup of tea together. I mentioned to her that I am the one who has been so ill, she had 11 weeks to have a cup of tea with me. I just tune it all out and concentrate on the people I know care. I am a private person and it would seem to me that they have a problem with that. But I believe my medical condition is my business. Plus, I always feel when I person has problems it is best not to say a lot. You know once you talk about things, the people you told repeat it. In most cases it is told wrong or blown out of proportion. I didn't even tell anyone (other than my children and my RA friends) about my most recent surgery, until six days before the operation. I hope this doesn't sound like I am being petty. But I am very hurt that after 15 times in the hospital my mom came once. My mother's other problem was I told her, I thought I could handle things when I came home myself. She ask if I wanted her to come over to help me. She did come over after the first surgery. But I honestly didn't think this surgery was going to be what it was and it was much worse than I thought. When I was in the hospital I told my daughter to ask her to come over, I wasn't sure I could do it. My mother at that point said she didn't want to here it and never came. I managed with my kids and that is fine but it hurts. My mother is a good person but she can hold a grudge till the end of time. I am better now but I really don't want to be around them. I don't feel I fit in. I want to just be with my children. I can understand how you feel, it really hurts when you know bottom line, you can't understand your family. Just concentrate on the ones you can count on. I'm sorry this is so long. A lot of this has been on my mind for a long time. I never say anything much to many people. Lynn (MeMom) tess_northwest@... wrote: > Thank you all for your tenderness & understanding. It means so much to > me. > > My sister has been doing the Christmas open house for maybe 15 > years....a long time. No, she has never invited me or my kids. My > folks are quite elderly but in good health. They are slowing down...I > know it's hard on them. I truly don't understand what happened....it > wasn't going to be a big party like last weekend, but a quiet afternoon. > > Em made me a wonderful breakfast, and we opened our Santa gifts. She > was tickled as was I. > > I probably will never quite understand why my birth family seems, at > times, to want to keep their distance. I know they love me, and I > dearly love them. I've really pondered this through the years and > cannot come up with any reasoning, and just end up thinking it's because > I am weird, sick, obese, etc...I'm NOT doing that anymore. Most of the > time I'm in a place of acceptance...now I need to more fully accept > myself. You, loving and accepting me, helps so much. Thank you from > the bottom of my heart. > > A Blessed Christmas & New Year For Us All... > > Tess > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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