Re: Christmas Blues

[Guest guest]

<PRE>i am doing much better this year than most. i think because yesterday i

went

to fill my car for the trip to my sister's and my car would not start. i

figured my starter had gone. i was so upset. then i went to the store in my

son's car and ended up having diabetic shakes in the store. i could hardly

write my check. we had a lovely time at my sister's. seeing my family, saying

goodbye to my parents was a little hard. but i did not cry. today is nothing

really special here for us. in fact i am doing laundry, sitting here running

my new vaporizer. my son went to the bowling alley to shoot some pool. hope

everyone i shaving a nice holiday. kathy in il

[Guest guest]

Nah, Louise,

I know how you feel. My mother was mentally ill, probably bi-polar, and

whenver there was a holiday she managed to wreck it for all of us. My

sister and I often compare notes about how her behavior affected us then and

now.

There is such a build up to Christmas, in the news, on tv, tv specials, all

we see is how " perfect " it could be. Kinda like the old fashioned sitcoms

where we thought every family was supposed to be like the Cleaver family

(when it reality, life was probably more like the Bunkers!). Goodness

knows, my parents were nothing like the Cleavers. Or the Lassie family

either!

I have much to be grateful for, a roof over my head, enough money to pay the

bills, a dependable car, my happy little nuclear family (husband of 30 years

and 3 bratty kitties). Sure I have RA - but it could be worse, and I'm

grateful for the way I feel today. Yet..... wouldn't it be nice to be able

to go on a cruise? Have a big roomy house with all kinds of wonderful

Christmas decorations? A nice big Christmas tree with *LOADS* of beautifully

wrapped presents under the tree, and the wonder of opening them to see

what's inside? Talk about the clash of fantasy versus reality!! So,

Christmas comes, and Christmas goes, and I do my best to get through it.

Maybe not the way I fantasize how it *should* be, but I try not to let it

drag me down either. For more years than I can remember, we never seem to

have enough cash to splurge on Christmas. I heard a tip on the

show recently I thought I would try for the coming year. He suggests taking

all you change at the end of a day and sticking it in a big jar. (No

cheating!) When Christmas rolls around that saved change will be your

spending money. Some of his staff have tried it, and savings rates have

varied between $250 to $600. Sounds good to me, and relatively painless.

Now if I can just keep from raiding it before next Christmas rolls around!

Anyway, my two cents.

Have a nice Christmas anyway.

Hugs to all,

Suzanne

[ ] Christmas Blues

> Dear RA friends; Does any one else besides me get the blues around

> Christmas?It is Christmas Eve-We went to the early service a9it was

> beautiful) because I would never last until the late one. The presents are

> wrapped the stockings are hung.And every year it is the same sense of

> letdown for me. It seems like a month's worth of fuss for an hours worth

of

> fun. I'm tired,my joints hurt and as we know there would not be decent

> preparations if the women did not do it.I still have dinner to tackle

> tommorrow. I feel like Lucy in the Peanuts cartoon-AAGH. My husband and

son

> are so loveable but clueless.If it wasn't for baskets or gift bags(they

> finally caught on to gift bags last year).One is 58 and the other is 20.

the

> two of them would put the gifts in paper grocery sacks! Bless their hearts

> they are hopeless! Every year I show them where the gift wrap is and all

the

> gift trimmings.The two of them think a gift is ready if it has the right

> name on it.LOL I am not complaining about them I am just wondering about

the

> letdown feeling and if any one experiences it also.It is not just this

year

> I think I have always felt like this at Christmas even as a child. It must

> be some syndrome or something. OR maybe i'm the one who is clueless..Love

> to all and Prayers for Debs in FL. Louise in Alabama

>

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[Guest guest]

Dear Friends...Christmas~time has been wonderful in so many ways. I did

talk to my PCP and we are trying different pain management, and bringing

in my rheummy tomorrow.

My children have been wonderful, my grandchildren are angels. My

Kelsey, spent Monday night, lights out watching the lights on the little

tree, baking cookies the next morning, painting my nails. My little

grandson is getting over his horrible bug, getting back to his little

self.

One thing has caused me many tears. My mom, who I adore, asked Em & I,

3 or 4 times over th past week, to come over this afternoon for a quiet

Christmas afternoon. When I called to gel the plans last night, she had

changed her mind. You need to understand, my mom doesn't have a

deliberately mean bone in her body, but she kept coming up with many

reasons why it just wouldn't be a good idea. I didn't see that coming

at all, and I felt punched in the tummy. My grown-up logical brain tells

me she is just probably over-tired or over-whelmed or something. My

sister throws a big open house every Christmas morning serving homemade

cinnamon rolls & omelets. I've never been asked to come. Mom & Dad go

every year, then have dinner ready for my sister & brother-in-law since

they are tired. So, I haven't been with my folks' on Christmas day for

a long time. I was so happy Mom asked us.

But when it was clear the door wasn't open any longer, I cried my heart

out. I have SO much to be grateful for, but I really WANTED to be with

my Mom & Daddy for a little while. I really needed to be with them for a

little while. All the insecurities from many years rained over me.

I've prayed all night for God to help me not to be bitter...to have a

grateful heart. And I do, and I am sad.

I don't understand my parents or sister...sometimes I think they think I

have leprosy instead of RA, etc. But, I'm 51, and it has been this way

off & on all my life. And most the time I'm able to be at a place of

acceptance. It just aches my heart right now.

So, I too, understand the bittersweet nature of this season. But when

all is said and done, I'll hold on to loving.

Merry Christmas, My Beloved Family...

Tess

[Guest guest]

Tess,

Your recitation boggles my mind... Your sister has NEVER invited you to her

Christmas open house. NEVER EVER? And this is okay with your parents? And

your parents don't invite you over for dinner along with your sister and

brother-in-law? Am I missing something here? That sounds pretty mean to me.

You are blessed with wonderful memories of your husband, and wonderful

children and grandchildren. You are also blessed with a wonderful heart and

a wonderful talent. I'm 52, I know just what you mean about the injured

child inside coming out at the most inopportune times. Geeeesh you might

think, I'm a grownup woman, why do I feel like an abandoned child? Don't

know the answer, just know that child is always lurking, and feels the hurt

in a way an adult isn't supposed to. Just know, Tess, your own children

will never suffer from similar treatment at your hands.

Chin up, Tess. I guess you'll just have to leave your parents and sister to

their own devices. It's their loss, honestly.

Hugs,

Suzanne

Re: [ ] Christmas Blues

> Dear Friends...Christmas~time has been wonderful in so many ways. I did

> talk to my PCP and we are trying different pain management, and bringing

> in my rheummy tomorrow.

>

> My children have been wonderful, my grandchildren are angels. My

> Kelsey, spent Monday night, lights out watching the lights on the little

> tree, baking cookies the next morning, painting my nails. My little

> grandson is getting over his horrible bug, getting back to his little

> self.

>

> One thing has caused me many tears. My mom, who I adore, asked Em & I,

> 3 or 4 times over th past week, to come over this afternoon for a quiet

> Christmas afternoon. When I called to gel the plans last night, she had

> changed her mind. You need to understand, my mom doesn't have a

> deliberately mean bone in her body, but she kept coming up with many

> reasons why it just wouldn't be a good idea. I didn't see that coming

> at all, and I felt punched in the tummy. My grown-up logical brain tells

> me she is just probably over-tired or over-whelmed or something. My

> sister throws a big open house every Christmas morning serving homemade

> cinnamon rolls & omelets. I've never been asked to come. Mom & Dad go

> every year, then have dinner ready for my sister & brother-in-law since

> they are tired. So, I haven't been with my folks' on Christmas day for

> a long time. I was so happy Mom asked us.

>

> But when it was clear the door wasn't open any longer, I cried my heart

> out. I have SO much to be grateful for, but I really WANTED to be with

> my Mom & Daddy for a little while. I really needed to be with them for a

> little while. All the insecurities from many years rained over me.

>

> I've prayed all night for God to help me not to be bitter...to have a

> grateful heart. And I do, and I am sad.

>

> I don't understand my parents or sister...sometimes I think they think I

> have leprosy instead of RA, etc. But, I'm 51, and it has been this way

> off & on all my life. And most the time I'm able to be at a place of

> acceptance. It just aches my heart right now.

>

> So, I too, understand the bittersweet nature of this season. But when

> all is said and done, I'll hold on to loving.

>

> Merry Christmas, My Beloved Family...

>

> Tess

>

>

>