RE: Politically correct Rudolph

[Guest guest]

Politically Correct Rudolph

Original: Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer...

Politically Correct: Rudolph was a

four-hooved ungulate,

Original: Had a very shiny nose...

Politically Correct: Who, incidentally,

possessed a nasal appendage of a bright

maroon lustre.

Original: And if you ever saw him...

Politically Correct: Consequently, if

circumstances were to present themselves

that he ever came into your view,

Original: You would even say it glows...

Politically Correct: You would most undoubtedly

remark at to its illuminary qualities.

Original: All of the other reindeer...

Politically Correct: The multitude of other

members of the population in his ecological

community,

Original: Used to laugh and call him names...

Politically Correct: Had previously teased,

chuckled boisterously, and dubbed him unspeakable

pseudonyms; the objective of which was to lower

his self-esteem and make him miserable.

Original: They never let poor Rudolph join in

any reindeer games...

Politically Correct: They also excluded him

from participation in leisure activities

consistent with their species.

Original: Then one foggy Christmas eve...

Politically Correct: However, on the twenty-fourth

of December in an unspecified year...

Original: Santa came to say...

Politically Correct: A mythological, supernatural

being inherent to western culture (who symbolizes

the Christmas attitude and allegedly brings

gifts to children) arrived through the super-

saturated, humid air.

Original: Rudolph, with your nose so bright...

Politically Correct: He formally invited Rudolph,

due to his extraordinary nasal characteristic.

Original: Won't you guide my sleigh tonight?

Politically Correct: To stand at the forefront

of his snow vehicle with the express purpose that

he navigate through the nocturnal mist.

Original: Then all the reindeer loved him...

Politically Correct: At that point, the multitude

of other members of the population in his ecological

community who had previously teased, chuckled

boisterously, and dubbed him unspeakable pseudonyms,

reversed their disposition toward Rudolph to a

more congenial, amicable relationship.

Original: And they shouted out with glee...

Politically Correct: They consequently exclaimed

with great exaltation and fervor,

Original: Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer...

Politically Correct: Rudolph, the antlered mammal

with a maroon nasal appendage,

Original: You'll go down in history!

Politically Correct: You shall most certainly be

recorded in the annals of time, and your memory

will be preserved for posterity!

Kathi in OK