Re: Re: Singh is King

[Guest guest]

Good one.

Malini

From: mgims [mailto:mgims ] On Behalf Of

singh gursharan

Sent: 15 November 2008 07:55

To: mgims

Subject: [Norton AntiSpam] Re: Singh is King

tOOOOOOO GOOOOOOD,GURSHARAN

On Sat, Nov 15, 2008 at 5:58 AM, Prabha Desikan <prabhadesikan@...

<mailto:prabhadesikan%40yahoo.com> >wrote:

>

> Ouch !!! OUCH !!!

>

> Hilarious !!

>

> Prabha

>

>

>

> > From: Shah <kshahsky@... <mailto:kshahsky%40gmail.com>

<kshahsky%40gmail.com>>

> > Subject: Singh is King

> > To: " mgims " <mgims <mailto:mgims%40yahoogroups.com>

<mgims%40yahoogroups.com>>

> > Date: Saturday, November 15, 2008, 11:02 AM

>

> > After seeing Yuvraj Singh yesterday, here is an old letter

> > to Flintoff for a

> > second round of laughter.

> >

> > Kishore Shah 1974

> >

> > **********************

> > Dear Mr. Flintoff,

> >

> > It was my privilege to see the India - England Twenty20

> > match last night

> > live on TV. You will agree that it was quite a memorable

> > match of cricket

> > especially because India won and once again proved without

> > doubt that

> > England should restrict itself to inventing games but not

> > actually expect to

> > win any of them. This is a small selection of such sports

> > and games for your

> > perusal:

> >

> > - Football

> > - Cricket

> > - Tennis

> > - Hockey

> > - Rugby

> > - Badminton

> > - Anything that involves running (except running industry

> > to ground),

> > throwing (except throwing up outside pub) and jumping

> > (except jumping on

> > head of supporter of rival football team).

> >

> > I am not trying to rub this into you in any fashion except

> > that, when I

> > really think about it, I am.

> >

> > But while I try to wipe the grin off my face I also want to

> > highlight the

> > crux of this correspondence. The essence of this letter is

> > to prevent you

> > from committing again, the very grave mistake you did

> > yesterday.

> >

> > I am referring to that moment before the nineteenth over

> > when you walked up

> > to Mr. Yuvraj Singh and told him something that made Mr.

> > Singh very very

> > angry. If I remember correctly Mr. Singh approached you

> > rapidly with cricket

> > bat in one hand, I think right, before the umpire

> > restrained him and saved

> > you from buying a new English face post-match.

> >

> > Of course we all know what happened next. Mr. Singh went on

> > to thulp six

> > sixes in the next over which was lovingly presented to him

> > by one Mr. Stuart

> > Broad. I do not know how this comes across in English but

> > in most parts of

> > North India they would say that " Yuvaraj Singh made

> > England's mother and

> > sister into one. "

> >

> > I know you are now regretting this move and wished you had

> > not riled Mr.

> > Yuvaraj Singh so.

> >

> > Earlier today it occurred to me that you may have committed

> > this folly

> > because of a certain ignorance of the finer aspects of

> > India's great ethnic

> > diversity.

> >

> > So I have taken it upon myself to inform and educate you on

> > how to avoid

> > such mistakes when playing against India again.

> >

> > The first thing you do, when you feel garrulous on the

> > field of play, is

> > that you gently check up on their surnames.

> >

> > Let us take the case of Yuvaraj Singh.

> >

> > If you observe carefully you will notice that his surname

> > is Singh.

> >

> > You can do it. Try again.

> >

> > When you observe this surname on an Indian person in a

> > competitive setting,

> > such as a cricket match, traffic or in a crowded disco, you

> > do not rub them

> > the wrong way. In fact you avoid conversation at all costs.

> > I would go so

> > far to say that you complement them on their

> > looks/wealth/health and relieve

> > the location of your presence immediately.

> >

> > While I am not a Singh myself I have had the opportunity to

> > interact with

> > several Singhs many of whom, inspite of my jokey, sarcastic

> > demeanour, did

> > not impel me to undertake critical surgery of any kind.

> >

> > But that is because I said NOTHING. NADA. NIL.

> >

> > This is a very good policy to follow with Singhs.

> >

> > Singhs, by and large, are some of the most jovial people in

> > India. They love

> > a good meal, heady drink and back slapping good humour.

> > They work hard at

> > whatever they do, party all night to the most infectious

> > music and believe

> > in living life to the fullest.

> >

> > I know some Singhs who have two washing machines at home:

> > one for washing

> > clothes and the other for making Lassi. (True Fact.)

> >

> > But within this merry, albeit cholesterol full, demeanour

> > hides a race that

> > can rapidly combust when angered. When the average Singh

> > has been driven to

> > wrath he often throws things, throws things at things and

> > sometimes drives

> > things through other things. Such one other thing, once I

> > observed, was a

> > tractor.

> >

> > And it's not just action but also words. And whatay

> > words!

> >

> > Rivaled in his insulting fervour only by a hardcore Chennai

> > Tamilian from a

> > suburb like Washermanpet, the average Singh can run through

> > entire

> > generations of Flintoffs, bestowing individual terms of

> > endearment, without

> > ever using the same abuse twice, or waiting to catch his or

> > (this is the

> > scary part) her breath.

> >

> > I am, incidentally married to a lass from the Punjab which

> > contains many

> > many Singhs. Whenever I leave laundry lying around or

> > forget to pay the

> > Power bill she immediately updates me of my responsibility

> > by reminding of

> > who I am, where I came from, what will happen to my tender

> > parts and where I

> > will end up in the long term all in one succinct, crisply

> > delivered sentence

> > that would make an average member of the Barmy Army fall to

> > his knees and

> > beg for forgiveness at which point she may let him off with

> > a minor rap

> > across the knuckles with a fridge or sofa.

> >

> > She also has this fearsome backhanded slap across the face

> > that you hear

> > moments after it hits you because, when sufficiently

> > angered, her palm moves

> > faster than sound.

> >

> > You may also like to know about one Mr. Navjot Singh Sidhu

> > who used to don

> > India's blue many moons ago and is today a well-known

> > cricket commentator

> > and TV presenter of ill-repute.

> >

> > Mr. Sidhu once had a minor tiff with another individual in

> > a traffic-related

> > situation. Now I am aware that Englishmen also get into

> > traffic tiffs and

> > then resolve it by hurling abuse at each other or a little

> > pushing and

> > shoving.

> >

> > Mr. Sidhu, after due thought and introspection, killed the

> > other man. Kaput.

> > Khallas. Phineesh.

> >

> > Which is why you should be thankful that Yuvraj Singh hit

> > that ball for six

> > so many times rather than, oh off the top of my head, your

> > kneecaps.

> >

> > And finally I must tell you about an old friend of mine in

> > engineering

> > college. A Singh of, until this incident, mild repute.

> >

> > Somehow it transpired that a friend of his was made fun of

> > and minorly

> > slapped about by a ridiculous fellow in the NRI quota who,

> > like you, was

> > unaware of surname based profiling.

> >

> > My friend, on hearing of the news, walked toward the

> > perpetrator's room,

> > picked me up on the way to clean up after, along with a

> > large hollow

> > concrete brick the size of Gladstone Small and barged in.

> >

> > He swung, I jumped up, perpetrator passed out, he missed

> > and the brick

> > proceeded speedily through an entire wooden bookcase, right

> > through a Sony

> > stereo system and a stack of CDs before ending up wedged

> > well between my

> > legs. Thankfully it missed my belly by a few inches and hit

> > me full on the

> > cojones (ka-ho-nees).

> >

> > At the time it was not much fun. Over the weeks we learned

> > to laugh at the

> > whole thing but not too much because I had bladder control

> > issues for a

> > while.

> >

> > So, in closing, I ask you to refrain from such verbal

> > excesses in future.

> > Currently we have Mahendra Singh Dhoni, R.P. Singh,

> > Harbhajan Singh and of

> > course Yuvraj Singh in the team. And perhaps in time,

> > because there is no

> > logic or cricketing reason to do so, BCCI may pick VRV

> > Singh as well.

> >

> > Keep your trap shut.

> >

> > Namaste London,

> > Sidin Sunny Vadukut

> >

> > p.s. Next week I will write to you to tell you why you

> > should also be wary

> > of South Indian Cricketers even if they are named after

> > popular breakfast

> > and tiffin items.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks Malini

Kishore Shah 1974