Do you think I am crazy?Warning this is very long!

[Guest guest]

Most of you know my story by now; including Sally. I has my

occipital decompression laminectomy c1 on October 30th. I am still

having my same symptoms. I do have the chiari, but I also have

something else wrong with me in addition. There have been lesions

and tumor spotted on my MRI's and they do not look at them, and they

just ignore it.

I am in a lot of tears. The pain...well, I called my neurosurgeons

office and she has to wait for the neuro to get out of surgery. I

told her I am in pain and my meds were out a few weeks ago, but I

tech had about 3 left trying to make them last. She, the nurse told

me to go to the ER! I am tired of going there. They give me a shot

and send me away and just tell me to go to my neuro. It does no

good. My primary doctor told me to just go to my neuro for my meds

now, but my neuro told me to go to my primary doc, because he is

local.

I am not abusing them, I can tell you this...they actually - I have

not been out of them for a few weeks...they are just now about out.

She just confused me. I get confused a lot. There were 50 percocets

prescribed to me Mid - January and I was told to take 1 every 4 hours

as needed. I have 3 left. If I was addicted,,, I would be out long

before now. I hate pills. My vicodin is okay for my bad pain, but

for my horrible pain,,, it just does not do it. I may have made

myself worse a few weeks ago by trying to open the car door and it

was froze shut. I tired and tried - I am weak to start with, not

much strenghth. I think the nurse thinks I just want drugs. Let her

see my previous MRI's today and then tell me I don't have something

wrong with me! I just can't stop crying. I want someone to believe

me and look into it and do something about it so I won't have to be

on pain meds all the time. Just for them to believe me and look into

it, not look away. How many times can a person go to the ER? They

must think I am crazy to be there so much, because my doctor tells me

to. I am not at a 10! It stays between a 5 - 8! Ten, yes, when I do

go to the ER and they can't do much for me. I am so used to the

pain, but I just can't stand it.

I want to be med free (all my meds) and to be able to do normal

things. If there is something wrong with me, then I will live with

the meds some how, if it means living a half way normal life. I

better go for now. I am just so upset. It is easy for someone to

believe that a person is addicted to pain meds, but I am not. I have

taken them before and stopped cold turkey on my own. I hate taking

them and I hate the way they make you feel. I take them with

Iboprofen 800 mg. I just don't know what to say to them, to let them

know I am in real pain. There are days that I just don't want to get

out of bed, I hurt so bad. I have so many symptoms. The ones that

bother me the most (although they all bother me) are: the head pain

(headaches), general head pain, neck pain, shoulder pain and back

pain. I could go on, but I told the nurse this was the worst. She

said, so does the leg pain go away when you sit, I am like no, it

just bothers me more when I walk a lot. I do my home physical and

occupational therapy excercises, it just makes it worse.

What do I do...any suggestions. I am very emotional lately and esp

today after talking to the nurse.