Guest guest Posted June 24, 1998 Report Share Posted June 24, 1998 >From Just4Laughs... " Scientific Jargon " by Dyrk Schingman, Oregon State University After several years of studying and hard work, I have finally learned scientific jargon. The following list of phrases and their definitions will help you to understand that mysterious language of science and medicine. " IT HAS LONG BEEN KNOWN " ... I didn't look up the original reference. " A DEFINITE TREND IS EVIDENT " ...These data are practically meaningless. " WHILE IT HAS NOT BEEN POSSIBLE TO PROVIDE DEFINITE ANSWERS TO THE QUESTIONS " .... An unsuccessful experiment, but I still hope to get it published " THREE OF THE SAMPLES WERE CHOOSEN FOR DETAILED STUDY " ... The other results didn't make any sense. " TYPICAL RESULTS ARE SHOWN " ... This is the prettiest graph. " THESE RESULTS WILL BE IN A SUBSEQUENT REPORT " .... I might get around to this sometime, if pushed/funded. " THE MOST RELIABLE RESULTS ARE OBTAINED BY JONES " .... He was my graduate student; his grade depended on this. " IN MY EXPERINCE " ... once " IN CASE AFTER CASE " ... Twice " IN A SERIES OF CASES " ... Thrice " IT IS BELIEVED THAT " ... I think. " IT IS GENERALLY BELIEVED THAT " ... A couple of other guys think so, too. " CORRECT WITHIN AN ORDER OF MAGNITUDE " ... Wrong. " ACCORDING TO STATISTICAL ANALYSIS " ... Rumor has it. " A STATISTICALLY ORIENTED PROJETION OF THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THESE FINDINGS " .... A wild guess. " A CAREFUL ANALYSIS OF OBTAINABLE DATA " .... Three pages of notes were obilterated when I knocked over a glass of beer. " IT IS CLEAR THAT MUCH ADDITIONAL WORK WILL BE REQUIRED BEFORE A COMPLETE UNDERSTANDING OF THIS PHENOMENA OCCURS " .... I don't understand it. " AFTER ADDITIONAL STUDY BY MY COLLEAGUES " .... They don't understand it either. " THANKS ARE DUE TO JOE BLOTZ FOR ASSITANCE WITH THE EXPERIMENT AND TO ANDREA SCHAEFFER FOR VALUABLE DISCUSSIONS " .... Mr. Boltz did the work and Ms. Shaeffer explained to me what it meant. " A HIGHLY SIGNIFICANT AREA FOR EXPLORATORY STUDY " .... A totally useless topic selected by my committee. " IT IS HOPED THAT THIS STUDY WILL STIMULATE FURTHER INVESTIGATION IN THIS FIELD " .... I quit. This may be used or broadcast in any form as long as I recieve credit. Dyrk Schingman ============================ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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