Re: The Game's a Foot (Pearl Diving pt.3)

[Guest guest]

Hi Jung-Pyr-Mates,

I just want you folks to know that the gematric coin in my last post, is the

last one I'm gonna ante' up for the Proverbial Pot at the end of the Rainbow,

as long as folks around here keep tossing in all those " Wooden Nickels " . But

I do have a lot more I would like to share after reading fa's last

" Sophia " post. That last gem in responce to Kurt's nice string of replys, was

also another item for the Vessel we're still building as far as I'm

concerned, called the " Rigging " . And its gonna come in real handy when

Phoebe gets tired of shimmying up that mast pole to get to the Crow's Nest

lookout and getting splinters in the process. Like I said, we're off to a

good start on this voyage, but it's far from finished yet, unless all you

want to do is play around with it in the Bath tub with the Baby, Hee Haw!

I'd much rather play with that St.(tickle me) Elmo's Fire dancing up around

the top of that mast myself.

So without further ado,, here is the third episode of " Pearl Diving " .

In the last episode, Det.S. Spade and Sgt.Friday(XIII), went to report to

J.D. ClueZoe,

Chief Inspector and Underwear Ad-man for 's Secret, still anchored

off the Outer Banks of N.C. at a place called " Teach's Hole " in his own ship,

Calypso. Upon hearing the news of the Wee People's involvement in this

caper, with all the Rama-fications that this entailed, such as the mysterious

dissappearance of members of Jung-Fire at every new encounter with this

group,,The Clew, Knew Wat to Do!! Especially when he heard MrMailmut's

latest dream concerning this plot.

After slinging that big pile of Mud around on the eve of the Old Year's day,

into the remaining cracks in the Vessel still leaking on dormant winter soil,

he finally managed to get a couple of hrs. sound sleep before heading off to

work before dawn. When he awoke, there was a word stuck in his

head,, " Montpellier! " (what, you were expecting Rosebud?) He didn't know what

to make of it at first, but then recalled that he had drunk a whole bottle of

L'Orval Cabernet the night before, so he knew it had to be somewhere in

France in the region of that Wine. This was not the first time that he had

picked up on a " Message in a Bottle " either. On the day after departure from

the old but never forgotten Jungfire circle, he had picked up a bottle of a

golden hued wine called Black Silk,and upon reading the label, discovered

that it came from a region of the old circle downunder, and what's more, it

was imported by a company called Australian Benchmark Wines that he regularly

delivered mail to. But that message was private!

So instead of trying to disguise his two associates, which would never had

worked anyway, J.Clew sent them back to their own jurisdictions where they

would be more productive, and set about aquiring new associates who would be

more familiar with the terrain of Europe. Such as,,the world reknown,, " No

Chit-lin " SheerLuck Homes.

But first, he would also have to get his old partner and collegue,,Dr.,

who had quit the Bizness years ago and gone into retirement. And it just so

happened, that ol Doc was not too far away, holed up in the hills of

Appalachia at the other end of MrMailmut's state. So,,some time later.

" That's fer enuf Mr. (click!) You got 10 seconds to start talkin before I

fill ya full of grapeshot. "

J.Clew: " Well now,,who might you be young man? I am an old friend of Doctor

,,Chief Ins. Jaque D.ClueZoe from France, here on an investigation of a

robbery. Is the Good Doctor In the House? "

" Hi,,I'm Jake Jr., but everyone calls me JR for short. Pa's not here

yet. They took him away a few years ago and had him locked up in that

Federal Pen they call " sonian " somewhere in Washington. Never did tell

us why or what he done or nothing. Said it was a cultural thing an' We(e)

wouldn't understand. Can you imagine that! But they let him out today, and

he should be here anytime now. He told everybody when he got back he was

starting up the Band agin, 'The Blue Gass GOB Band. He told me to take care

of things till he got back and if a feller name Jake like me showed up, to

keep him occupied till he got here. "

J.Clew: " Well, that would be Me then, your Papa could never pronounce my last

name properly for some reason, (go figure?) "

JR: " OK then, he also told me to be lookin out fer a smelly ol pink pole cat

that's always hangin around with ya, cause he ain't nothing but trubble.

Thinks he might have been messin around with my Ma years ago, but since Pa's

blind as a Bat, he couldn't swear to it, but iffin I saw that critter to go

ahead and shoot first and nail his hide to the wall, afterwards! You know

anything about that? "

J.Clew: " Oh, that,,um well, um,,I No Nothing,,about that, Jr. "

JR: " Well then, hey, you wanna have a look at my Snail Farm? The rest of

the family don't care much for them, but I think they taste Real Good. "

J.Clew: " Umm, no thanks JR. I just had a plate of snails for lunch before I

arrived. "

JR: " Well, I'll be, you like em too huh? Well looky here, I got this pig

that likes to dig up these funny looking Fungus(Hey Kurt!), that's real good

too! "

J.Clew: " Maybe later,, isn't it a little warm for January around here? "

Jr: " Yeah, I guess so,, are you thirsty? I got some homemade Stump-water

out behind the barn. Ma won't let me drink the real stuff yet, but I figured

out if I squeeze out some wild scuppernongs growin around here in it, and let

it sit for a while, it tastes almost like the real thing, and makes you feel

real Good Too! Wanna sip? "

J.Clew: " Listen here JR. a good Detective Never drinks while on a case,

remember that,(Hic?Burp!!) Pardon Moi. What else did you Papa say JR.?!

JR: " Well, he said something about the Penguins tellin him he had to go on a

mission from God. But we figured he was just talking crazy or somethin,

ain't no tellin what those folks up in Washington have been doin to him. Do

you know how to Play? "

J.Clew: " What do you mean Jr. I'm a grown man, I Don't Play! "

JR: " I mean Music! Everyone around here plays real good cept Me for some

reason, I just can't seem to get the hang of it, but I am getting good with

the Jew's Harp. Wanna hear? (Boing, boing, Twang, twang, Sproing!)

J.Clew: " Oh, yeah Music,,,that's different. I used to play the harp too

when I was in your Papa's band years ago, but the one I played was the Big

Orchestra Harp, about as tall as me and wider than my arm. Its really just a

big Lyre.

JR: " Oh really, well the only BIG LIAR aound here is You, Mr. How ya gonna

get that thing in yer MOUTH?!! "

J. Clew: " Now see here JR. Didn't your Mama teach you any manners. .I

believe I'll tell your Papa to take you behind the woodshed, when he gets

here,,Here he is now!

Jr: " See ya later, you fink panter you! "

J.Clew: " Good to See you again Doctor Wats,, "

Doc Wats: " YEAH, well I wish I could say the same,,SEE you I mean, but I can

sure smell him. Where's that mangy ol Pink polecat. Go git my longbore over

the mantle JR., I'm gonna bag that cat if its the last thing I do! Sorry

about that Jake,,you know how much I detest that critter! The Penguins told

me you would be here to meet me, but they didn't say nothin about well,,you

know. Did JR. fill you in too? We're on a mission from the Holy One this

time. Must be something Real Big!

Wait till I tell the rest of the boys,,and then we'll,, "

J.Clew: " Hold it Doc, I don't think they explained it just right to ya. We

can't let the rest of the boys in on this one except for your old partner,

SureLuck.

Doc Wats: WHAT! Him again? Why he can't play a fiddle worth a dang ever

since he got that Toothache. "

J.Clew: " Watt Toothache Doc? "

Doc Wats: " He said his Wisdom teeth were hurtin real bad, so I reached into

my bag and pulled out my shaving kit. And in my shaving kit was this huge

Hypo full of a 7% solution of N-Caine that I carry around in case I nicked

myself. And I was gonna inject it in his mouth, but he moved and tried to

Duck and it went right up his big ol snoz instead. Well, he said he reached

'NIRVANA " right then and there when it hit his brain. He's been hooked ever

since, and started messing around with the heavy stuff too ever since he met

this feller named M.Caine. Ever hear of him?

J.Clew: " Sorry Doctor, this time I'm " Without a Clue " .

Doc Wats: " Well looky here CueJoe, he ain't exactly behind the 8 ball if ya

know what I mean now. Why can't we get someone else like that Ravi Shankar

feller Sit-tin on his Tar, or even Boy Preston playin with his Organ.

You know I only play with the older generation. Ever since SureLuck got

mixed up with that new stuff, he's been hangin around with a real wild bunch

like that Sting feller. I ain't cared much fer him since he was in that

other drug movie called Duned. What's this all about anyhow, don't look like

its gonna be a regular gig to me. "

J.Clew: " I'll tell you when we get back to my ship . We'll turn her

around and set sail left rudder to 17 deg. for London and pick S.Homes up.

Doc Wats: " Hey, this ain't gonna be no " Love Boat " romance cruise is it?

You know I don't like to get things all Mushy! "

J.Clew: " We shall see, Doctor,,we shall see! "

Meanwhile, back over at Jung-Fire,, the group has already set sail on that

half baked Jung-Fire Junk, heading 10 degs. Left Rudder, which IS the correct

bearing from Ocra-Coke island as the Crow flies, to " Montpellier " , as a savy

sailor named Shadow catcher has " Once Agin " , somehow correctly and

mysteriously deduced in his last post to the group(How's he always doing that

anyhow?). But,, will they get there First, and even if they do,,Will they

know what to do when they get there. They are a smart buch when they put

their heads together. One of them even mentioned that 7#9 chord, in her post

well almost, which was in the sky's again this morning. Way to go Foxy Lady!

Heh, heh, heh. So stay tuned for another exciting or whatever you wish to

call it, episode of Pearl Diving.

The Mutt