Guest guest Posted March 15, 2008 Report Share Posted March 15, 2008 Thank you....I'm printing the pertinent information for his wife. I'll tell her, " Just in case. " I hope she wakes up before it's too late. I truly appreciate being pointed in the right direction. Candy >> Candy...I have included these links for you to look at. I never > heard anyone waiting two years for a disability decision made. > > http://www.ssa.gov/disability/ > > http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/factsheet/support/financial- > assistance > > http://www.liverfoundation.org/patients/transplantfund/ > > I would also get in touch with the Area of the AGing, they help > elderly people but will at times also help those, who are disable, > with information. > > If you contact any transplant center, they may also direct you to > a social worker that handles transplant patients and they can help > you work through this. To find a Transplant Center near you, type in > your state and Transplant Center afterwards. You could also contact > your county government office or the hospital where you live and > they can direct you. > ........................................................... > > It would be very good for an Advance directive or a durable > power of attorney form be signed by your brother now to appoint > one or two family members to handle his affairs. The privacy > laws are tremendous to get by. It would be best to talk directly > to your brother about this and to have it done now before he may > get worse. This needs to be done even if you are a wife...you > would never know how many times I wish I had the durable power > of attorney form and not just the advanced directive in taking > care of things for my husband...it is a true pain. Now, his > doctors and everything can speak with me directly as if he was > speaking to my husband himself and I can sign his name to > vehicle registration forms, checks, etc. and no one can say to > me that they cannot give me information or refuse me to have it. > Trying to prove his disability without full access to his medical > records or his doctors is very hard to do. And, if you just want > them to do this for you at the social security...it will lay on > their desks forever and no decision will be made. > > ................................................... > > Welcome to this group... > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 24, 2008 Report Share Posted March 24, 2008 Candy - I really didn't have much time to do anything by myself today. They were waiting for me before they had me ready, so sometimes there were three different departments in my room taking care of what they have to take care of before they can take you to the cath lab. When my Dad died, we had a photo album at the funeral home and church so people could see my dad at different stages of his life. There is enough room in that album to put pictures of my mom in it to show people when she goes. I am hoping that if I do get up there this fall that we can get out her pictures and put her story together. My cousin sent me a cd with over 150 pictures his mother had when she died. They are very precious pictures. I hope I can figure out how to label them so my children will know at least the ones I know. A few years ago I split up all the duplicate pictures I had among the three kids I raised so they would have some family pictures. Most of our pictures weren't very funny since everybody seemed to think they had to post people before they took a picture. Gotta go rest up a little bit, been a tiring day. Jan H > Jan, > > My family had a wonderful Christmas dinner this year. We were all > present at my Mom's place. I've been going through big boxes of my > Mom's pictures from the last 70 years, and gave everyone the funniest > ones. We spent hours laughing at each other and reminicing. It was > the best time we've spent to together in many, many years. Even the > grandkids and sister in laws got to see just how goofy we were. I'm > so happy we got to do it. > > I hope your procedures go well, and I'll be thinking of you. Laying > still gets to be annoying. My Mom was crocheting a baby blanket > during delivery of my youngest brother and didn't put it down until > the last push. > > Candy > > > > > > Candy - I am glad I could help. One thing which is very important > to me as > > I am counting down the time is to find things to laugh at. Nothing > would > > make me happier than to actually die laughing. I know some people > find this > > really weird, others tell me I don't even have a sense of humor > because I > > don't like slap stick or situation comedies. But I find so much > irony in > > every day living, and it helps to be able to laugh about it. I hope > you are > > finding time and things that you can still laugh about even with your > > brother's situation. > > > > I think I have mentioned here that I am having an angiogram, possible > > angioplasty tomorrow. This will be either my 14th or 16 th one so I > know > > what to expect. Please give me a little thought/pray about 12 Noon > Pacific > > time until about 6 or later when I should finally be able to get off > my back > > and move more than the leg they don't use and my arms. There are > two parts > > of these procedures I don't like, the cold in the procedure room > until they > > administer medication to relax me which also warms me up, and the > four hours > > or more of being flat on my back after the procedure is over, only > able to > > move that one leg. One time they had to go in both legs, so then > couldn't > > even move one for awhile. I am trying to figure out how I could > possible > > work on crocheting the blanket I have started for my newest > granddaughter > > while I am waiting. If I rested my elbows on the bedside table, do you > > think I could do it? Jan H > > > -- Jan H Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 2, 2008 Report Share Posted April 2, 2008 Abijan, I know that you mean well in this advice, but I am so close to my husband and he knows my wishes and even tho we do not discuss all my health issues with my family they are aware that I do not want to have a transplant if when that time comes. I would really be upset if someone in my family, including my grown children tried to interfere with my health and even final wishes or try to overstep my husbands care of me. The wife may not be making all the right decisions in the past or even now, its still her husband and their marriage that have to be respected. He is a grown man and he made these life choices on his own. Including whom he chose to marry. I agree that he should definitely been seen by a gastro or hepatologist, and Candy may be able to approach her with this but only as a suggestion. Im sure she is feeling just as overwhelmed as anyone is right now. God bless, Debra > > > > I believe I would by-pass his wife and talk directly with your > > brother. > > Even if he has encephalopathy. He needs to know how serious this is > > and by doing so and showing how concerned you are about this and > > how you don't want to lose him because of it...it is showing your > > love for him, even if you haven't communicated for years. He > > definitely needs to be with a more specialized doctor now and if this > > goes on that he isn't, his loved ones may regret it for the rest of > > their life that he wasn't. Guilt usually takes over after someone > > dies...the what ifs are tremendous. > > > > My brother died of pancreatic cancer that spread to his liver and > > lungs. I wasn't told till after the fact when it was too late to > > do anything at all cause my brother knew how ill my husband was and > > didn't want to bother me with his problem...I was stunned. I wanted > > him to go to the hospital my husband was at and not the hometown > > hospital where I knew they would do nothing to help but stabilize > > him..but he didn't want to go. The what ifs are still here with > > me....I watched him die at our hometown hospital...I didn't leave his > > side except to get a little sleep. > > > > I'm telling you this cause you really do care alot about him. > > You should step in now and be with him whenever you can and > > remove any obstacles that are standing in your way of doing this. > > Even if you don't know his medical status...just being there will > > not just show him how much you care but help you come to terms > > with losing him. > > > > I had many times that I didn't know what to say to my brother. > > I felt very emotional and out of place at times. But, I found > > out that I really didn't have to say much...just be there. He > > knew I loved him and that I wish things would have been different. > > Someone who is so very sick, needs their loved ones there with > > them...they shouldn't die not knowing for certain how much someone > > cares. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 2, 2008 Report Share Posted April 2, 2008 > > > > Abijan, I know that you mean well in this advice, but I am so close > > to my husband and he knows my wishes and even tho we do not discuss > > all my health issues with my family they are aware that I do not want > > to have a transplant if when that time comes. I would really be > > upset if someone in my family, including my grown children tried to > > interfere with my health and even final wishes or try to overstep my > > husbands care of me. The wife may not be making all the right > > decisions in the past or even now, its still her husband and their > > marriage that have to be respected. He is a grown man and he made > > these life choices on his own. Including whom he chose to marry. I > > agree that he should definitely been seen by a gastro or > > hepatologist, and Candy may be able to approach her with this but > > only as a suggestion. Im sure she is feeling just as overwhelmed as > > anyone is right now. God bless, Debra --- In > > Hi Debra, > > I know you were addressing Abijann, but I'd like to add that I wish I > could educate my brother on cirrhosis, he might change his mind about > treatment. I'm assuming his wife is protecting him by keeping him in > the dark, or she's in denial, or whatever. No matter how much I > disagree with it, I'm going to have to let the blind lead the blind. > > He was referred to a gastroenterologist, but because he doesn't have > health insurance, he wanted cash up front. My brother isn't willing > to do that. My other brother and I offered to pay it for him, but he > refused, saying that, " A doctor is a doctor " . My brother is self > destructive. We can't save him from himself, no matter how much we'd > like to. > > Thanks for your insights. > > Candy > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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