thank you for your warm wishes

August 18, 2008

diane thank you, thank you to everyone, i am soooo glad i am not alone,

and will be very glad to get to vandy and see what our options are, as

your hubby ,mine thinks its all gods will, i on the other hand am more

selfish right now ,its been a hard day of waiting for the phone to ring

and give us our appointment date ,it never came they say hopefully

tommorrow.i feel so angry and i dont know who to be mad at, theres no

one to blame.i want to scream ,crying hurts my head lol, jeez this is

awful!!!! i have given this to god 40 times today because its so much

bigger than i, then i seem to try and take it back ,i am so out of

control in my mind i cant stand it, so i am just trying to be still and

know HE is GOD and this is out of my control,but its not easy as you

all know, i do thank this wonder place with these wonderful people who

understand and care, even though you all dont even know us. god bless

barby

August 19, 2008

-ahh jan honey you speek my language as i too am a rambler teehee ,my

kids are 29 28 25 and 24 ... i think lol. i started young, i have 8

grandbabies now ,i think they are all done phew. back problems are up

my alley broke my back almost 15 years ago, i get along good have to

do therapy from time to time but for the most part i am a kickin

chicken lol,dr. says i have gotten used to my pain over the years,

but my house has too suffered from it ...badly, i never did get to

those closets today found my girls old barbie dolls and got caught up

in remenecing instead of cleaning teehee, i just closed the door,it

will be there waiting... lurking for a later day lol, what happened

to your back and who is your surgeon?? i will keep you in my

prayers ,wow we all have sooo much in common here ,just not

livers ,we have so much to offer each other, this is a wonderful

place that god gave some kind sole the idea of starting{ isnt that

bob?],i never heard from vandy today ,i called the dr. office they

said ,he had to write a letter send all the labs and tests ,then they

will call us with an appointment, so i am gonna wait as patiently as

i can, i loove diane[whom ive never meant] but she settles my mind

and brings me back to what i know my faith in god ,thank you

diane,see i can ramble to baby girl lol,bobby had a rough day

mentally ,his back hurt bad which i am asuming its his kidneys ,not

his back so hes sound asleep now, god love him.he was awake most of

the nite. on a sweeter note ,here in ky. it was a very pretty

day ,such a blue sky that you dont see here often, i took it as a

sign from the heavens, i love a blue blue sky with a gentle breeze

blowing, this forum has been a god sent to me ,i love you all!!!!and

will be concerned and praying for each and everyone of you for the

rest of my days. ps i to want to go quick and fastas well, i told

bobby we should pull a thelma and louise lol, but thats against our

beleifs it was good for a chuckle is all. let me know what your

surgeon said ,i will be awaiting word ,god speed girl god speed-- In

livercirrhosissupport , " Jan Holman "

wrote:

>

> Barby - you are ahead of me then with just a closet being scarey.

My whole

> house is. Nobody else here ever thinks of cleaning anything. I

have to

> bribe my grandson with computer time to get him to pick up his

things. But

> have to balance that with my need for time. I used to be here all

day every

> day I was home with short breaks, now I can use the computer today

because I

> just took him to work. But. I have an appt with a back surgeon

later today,

> have to leave in 2 hours as it is 1 1/2 hours away. I don't know

how old

> your children are, but I wouldn't throw away everything you have

kept. My

> children are all over 30 and now getting to the point where some of

that

> stuff matters to them.

>

> Reading about everybody's pain does hurt. As a person with

cirrhosis, it

> also is an indication of what I might go through. I am not sure

what stage

> I am in since my doctors don't use that word stage. They use the

word

> scale, and I am a 4 out of 4 as to damage on my liver. But I have

some of

> the symptoms of ESLD, such as the start of kidney failure etc. It

also

> tells me what I could put my family through. When I think about

it, I hope

> that I die of a heart attack quickly before they have to go through

all you

> and the other caregivers on the group are going through. Yes,

laughing does

> help a lot and sometimes crying releases a lot of tension too. You

might

> find yourself doing some of both today as you go through that

closet.

> Excuse the rambling, but I do that in personal conversations too.

Just me.

> No excuse. Jan H

>

> On Tue, Aug 19, 2008 at 6:38 AM, pinkmeetsblue

> wrote:

>

> > -thank you jan nice to meet you, sorry to hear about your

> > troubles ,its funny how you fall into this self pity thing why

us ,we

> > are good people , then i meets folks like you all, and it is a

> > comfort, kind of, because its a double edged sword because i hate

to

> > see any of us in pain!!! i have put up a small album of bobby and

i

> > and our family ,take a peek and then you will know who your

talking

> > to sort of lol. you will be in my prayers,and thanks for the

advise,

> > i am gonna try to tackle my living room and bedroom closet today

and

> > trust me its very scary in both of them lol, i seem to have never

> > thrown anything out from my kids childhoods and they dont seem to

> > want the stuff lol classic just classic ,have a blessed day my

love--

> > In livercirrhosissupport <livercirrhosissupport%

40yahoogroups.com>,

> > " Jan Holman "

> > <janholman@> wrote:

> > >

> > > Barby - we may not know what you look like, but we do know you.

I

> > can

> > > remember doing the same thing you say you did today, putting

> > something in

> > > God's hands and then taking it back again. When I had my three

> > kids by

> > > myself after my divorce, I felt overwhelmed. I would pray and

ask

> > God to

> > > help me, to show me what to do, to take over. Then something

would

> > come up,

> > > and I was right there again, trying to fix something. One day I

> > was sitting

> > > in my garden, again overwhelmed and I heard/felt a voice

say " I'll

> > be the

> > > Father, you only have to be the mother. " If it helps, tell

> > yourself you are

> > > the wife, and leave the rest up to God. You aren't the doctor,

you

> > aren't

> > > the mother. I remember one day I had so much to do before

leaving

> > home for

> > > a meeting that night. I had three kids to get ready to take

along,

> > dinner

> > > to make ready for my husband when he came home from work and all

> > the other

> > > little things a housewife has to do every day. I looked at the

> > clock and

> > > saw I only had 45 minutes left to do anything. So, I told

myself I

> > could

> > > only do 45 minutes of what I had left to do. I was amazed how

much

> > I did

> > > get done in that 45 minutes. Fretting for the hour before hadn't

> > > accomplished much at all (: Now I am going to suggest something

I

> > am not

> > > very good at myself: Find something you need to get done and get

> > started on

> > > it. If it is something complicated, it might take your mind off

> > all the

> > > things it is thinking of now.

> > >

> > > I got bad news myself on Thursday, my kidneys are going bad. I

> > feel as if I

> > > am handling it okay, but I am so tired, sleeping a lot more than

> > usual, have

> > > no energy. I know they couldn't have gotten worse just because I

> > found out

> > > they are, but that is how it feels to me. I am sure, that given

a

> > couple of

> > > days, some energy will come back. don't expect it will be

tomorrow

> > or the

> > > next day as I have an appt. with a spinal surgeon for an

evaluation

> > of the

> > > lumbar region of my spin. Refuse to have more surgery, at least

> > for another

> > > few months, but hoping there is a shot that will help me.

> > >

> > > Hope you get that call soon. Jan H

> > >

> > > On Mon, Aug 18, 2008 at 5:13 PM, pinkmeetsblue

> > > <itsabnbthing@>wrote:

> >

> > >

> > > > diane thank you, thank you to everyone, i am soooo glad i am

> > not alone,

> > > > and will be very glad to get to vandy and see what our options

> > are, as

> > > > your hubby ,mine thinks its all gods will, i on the other

hand am

> > more

> > > > selfish right now ,its been a hard day of waiting for the

phone

> > to ring

> > > > and give us our appointment date ,it never came they say

hopefully

> > > > tommorrow.i feel so angry and i dont know who to be mad at,

> > theres no

> > > > one to blame.i want to scream ,crying hurts my head lol, jeez

> > this is

> > > > awful!!!! i have given this to god 40 times today because its

so

> > much

> > > > bigger than i, then i seem to try and take it back ,i am so

out of

> > > > control in my mind i cant stand it, so i am just trying to be

> > still and

> > > > know HE is GOD and this is out of my control,but its not easy

as

> > you

> > > > all know, i do thank this wonder place with these wonderful

> > people who

> > > > understand and care, even though you all dont even know us.

god

> > bless

> > > > barby

> > > >

> > >

> > > --

> > > Jan H

> > >

August 19, 2008

Well, I am soooo relieved to know that I'm not the only one with some

house cleaning that seems NEVER to get done! My nemesis is photos, I

CANNOT go through my pictures and put them away properly becuase I

ALWAYS get caught up in looking at them and remembering all the happy

times gone by! Since I can't get the pics put away, the cleaning

can't get done cause the pics are stacked in the way, and the dust

just continues to collect!!!!

BTW, Barby, as someone has already suggested, don't throw away all

your keepsakes. My Mom died in April, 2006, athe time, I was 48.

When my sisters and I were going through her things after he death,

we found our old Barbie dolls. We were thrilled! We used to spend

HOURS playing with those dolls together! We collected our individual

dolls and brought them home with us. I went shopping and bought mine

a new wardrobe! I think Barbie has changed over the years though.

These new Barbie fashions don't fit my Barbie in a couple of places,

if you get my drift!!!! Gotta do some alterations on the new

wardrobe!

It is true, we all have so much in common. I guess that's the human

condition, huh? We all really are so much more alike than we often

are willing to admit.

Love you all! God bless!

Diane C. from TN

>

> -ahh jan honey you speek my language as i too am a rambler

teehee ,my

> kids are 29 28 25 and 24 ... i think lol. i started young, i have 8

> grandbabies now ,i think they are all done phew. back problems are

up

> my alley broke my back almost 15 years ago, i get along good have

to

> do therapy from time to time but for the most part i am a kickin

> chicken lol,dr. says i have gotten used to my pain over the years,

> but my house has too suffered from it ...badly, i never did get to

> those closets today found my girls old barbie dolls and got caught

up

> in remenecing instead of cleaning teehee, i just closed the door,it

> will be there waiting... lurking for a later day lol, what happened

> to your back and who is your surgeon?? i will keep you in my

> prayers ,wow we all have sooo much in common here ,just not

> livers ,we have so much to offer each other, this is a wonderful

> place that god gave some kind sole the idea of starting{ isnt that

> bob?],i never heard from vandy today ,i called the dr. office they

> said ,he had to write a letter send all the labs and tests ,then

they

> will call us with an appointment, so i am gonna wait as patiently

as

> i can, i loove diane[whom ive never meant] but she settles my mind

> and brings me back to what i know my faith in god ,thank you

> diane,see i can ramble to baby girl lol,bobby had a rough day

> mentally ,his back hurt bad which i am asuming its his kidneys ,not

> his back so hes sound asleep now, god love him.he was awake most of

> the nite. on a sweeter note ,here in ky. it was a very pretty

> day ,such a blue sky that you dont see here often, i took it as a

> sign from the heavens, i love a blue blue sky with a gentle breeze

> blowing, this forum has been a god sent to me ,i love you all!!!!

and

> will be concerned and praying for each and everyone of you for the

> rest of my days. ps i to want to go quick and fastas well, i told

> bobby we should pull a thelma and louise lol, but thats against our

> beleifs it was good for a chuckle is all. let me know what your

> surgeon said ,i will be awaiting word ,god speed girl god speed--

August 20, 2008

Sorry for all the running around you have to do Jan. Hope the pain management

doc is able to give you relief for your back.

Are there any youth at your church who would be willing to lend a hand a couple

days a week? Some times they can be bribed err paid less than other house

helpers. See, if we were neighbors, I'd be over with my teenage girls and we'd

whip things in shape for ya and bring you dinner. Thought about moving to

Alaska. LOL!

Pamela

Re: thank you for your warm wishes

Well, I saw the surgeon. The first thing he said when he walked in is " What

can I do for you today? " I told him I didn't want surgery, at least not

now, since I am still recovering from the triple bypass surgery. He said,

" Well then, I can't do anything for you since that is what I do. " I told

him my pcp had said they have shots for the spinal arthritis now, but he

said he doesn't do that, I would have to go to a pain management doctor.

Problem there is that I don't react well to most of the meds they could give

me. He also said that even if I was recovered, he wouldn't operate on me,

too big a risk. scaredy cat. <S> Anyway,, I got the names of two pain

management doctors in the same town. When I get back to my pcp, I will be

getting referrals from her for a kidney doctor, a blood doctor, and maybe a

pain management dr. I don't have time for all this and lead a life too. I

missed my Bible study today to go to this doctor. I did educate him

though. He saw my curved spine on the xrays. I told him it was caused by

the difference of 1 1/2 inches in my legs. He tried to tell me that the

difference in the legs was caused by the scoliosis until he examined my legs

and saw it is a real difference in bone length. We also discussed our

common thyroid problems and then I told him about my cirrhosis and decrease

in kidney function. He just sort of looked at me as if he was thinking

" What is this lady doing alive? "

Good news, he told me I am not to waist my energy and use of my back and

legs on mundane things like household chores, tell someone else to do them.

hahahahahahaha, like that would work. Jan H

On Tue, Aug 19, 2008 at 3:33 PM, pinkmeetsblue

wrote:

> -ahh jan honey you speek my language as i too am a rambler teehee ,my

> kids are 29 28 25 and 24 ... i think lol. i started young, i have 8

> grandbabies now ,i think they are all done phew. back problems are up

> my alley broke my back almost 15 years ago, i get along good have to

> do therapy from time to time but for the most part i am a kickin

> chicken lol,dr. says i have gotten used to my pain over the years,

> but my house has too suffered from it ...badly, i never did get to

> those closets today found my girls old barbie dolls and got caught up

> in remenecing instead of cleaning teehee, i just closed the door,it

> will be there waiting... lurking for a later day lol, what happened

> to your back and who is your surgeon?? i will keep you in my

> prayers ,wow we all have sooo much in common here ,just not

> livers ,we have so much to offer each other, this is a wonderful

> place that god gave some kind sole the idea of starting{ isnt that

> bob?],i never heard from vandy today ,i called the dr. office they

> said ,he had to write a letter send all the labs and tests ,then they

> will call us with an appointment, so i am gonna wait as patiently as