HUM: Helpful Camping Tips :>D

[Guest guest]

Helpful Camping Tips

> by Bruce Cochran; from the Sept. `96 issue of Backpacker:

>

> When using a public campground, a tuba placed on your picnic table

will keep

> the campsites on either side vacant.

>

> Get even with a bear who raided your food bag by kicking his favorite

stump

> apart and eating all the ants.

>

> Old socks can be made into high fiber beef jerky by smoking them over

an open

> fire.

>

> A hot rock placed in your sleeping bag will keep your feet warm. A hot

> enchilada works almost as well, but the cheese sticks between your

toes.

>

> You'll never be awakened by the call of a loon if you have an unlisted

number.

>

> While the Swiss Army Knife has been popular for years, the Swiss Navy

Knife

> has remained largely unheralded. Its single blade functions as a tiny

canoe

> paddle.

>

> Lint from your navel makes a handy fire starter. Warning: Remove lint

from

> navel before applying the match.

>

> You'll never be lost if you remember that moss always grows on the

north side

> of your compass.

>

> You can duplicate the warmth of a down-filled bedroll by climbing into

a

> plastic garbage bag with several geese.

>

> When camping, always wear a long-sleeved shirt. It gives you something

to wipe

> your nose on.

>

> You can compress the diameter of your rolled up sleeping bag by

running over

> it with your car.

>

> A two-man pup tent does not include two men or a pup.

>

> A potato baked in the coals for one hour makes an excellent side dish.

A

> potato baked in the coals for three hours makes an excellent hockey

puck.

>

> You can start a fire without matches by eating Mexican food, then

breathing on

> a pile of dry sticks.

>

> In emergency situations, you can survive in the wilderness by shooting

small

> game with a slingshot made from the elastic waistband of your

underwear.

>

> The guitar of the noisy teenager at the next campsite makes excellent

> kindling.

>

> A large carp can be used for a pillow.

>

> The sight of a bald eagle has thrilled campers for generations. The

sight of a

> bald man, however, does absolutely nothing for the eagle.

>

> Bear bells provide an element of safety for hikers in grizzly

country.The

> tricky part is getting them on the bears.