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in Murten, a tiny town in Switzerland,

the sky was hot pink, on fire

from a volcanoe which had erupted in Africa

probably just to suit your Aries Fire proclivity for eruptions...

like your boarding school and your mother's pharmacy

where she practiced medicine before the nazis came and the

family went into hiding...

one you blew up as a teen, the other as a child...

the Bisbee mines in Arizona...

the Anaconda copper mines in Chile

the iron mines in the Sudan... you did love to make explosions...

and you were in a rush to get to your father's place.. that night..

you were always in a rush... for the next show you were creating...

and that night you gave me a ring, which swiveled on a bevel

like those of the ancient romans

on one side it is lapis lazuli, the color of your eyes in love..

and the other side was onyx ... the color of your eyes in thunder...

and when you thundered, i would flee, into the day

or into the black of night ... which left you confounded...

in the beautiful lake of Murten you could not stop

to see the magnificent beautiful hot pink sky...

and in the morning... the sun rose magnificent on fire...

and i was breathless at its beauty...

and you rushed off for a marathon

and i was in my 20s and you your 50s and i cared not at all...

except...

except...

you did not come home that day ...

you had a heart attack running and you died...

even in your death you left in a rush ...

and i was so shocked that you with your tremendous

zest and passion for life were no longer there ...

i still feel the impatient drum of your fingers float thru mine

from time to time ...

and today, finally, nine years later, i have the silk scarf you gave me

and the bottle of perfume and your ring ... and it has taken each single

day of these years to realize you are gone ... and finally i have tears

to tell you good-bye Christoph, and, yet,

i lie, i cannot get it that you are gone... perhaps we spent

too many days in too many airports ... we were always

coming and going...

so, unlike all the older men i loved, uncles, father,

others, i cannot get the energy of you gone...

i cannot " feel " it that you are gone... it is so weird...

like you are yet away, and will fly in again...

Godspeed you ... although

even God knows you walk where the Angels fear to tread ...

Love,

Annette

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Yikes,

I've so many private notes here. I must say I've loved again others

and deeply and I love love (Alice can assure you of this from my chart) I

adore love beyond all else, no one, alive or dead would keep me

from loving *g*...

Many different loves, to love the essence of a rose...

does not mean one does not also love the essence of lily of the valley,

i am very monogamous, but if one leaves... the flower which passes

is replaced by another... it would nice to stay calm quiet with one

it will happen when it happens, beauty has this fabulous way

of manifesting here in the universe...

Much LOVE to all of you and thank you for your beautiful notes,

Annette

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