Re: blow outs, etc.

November 11, 1998

Hi Lyn,

I'm so sorry to hear things have escalated to this point with your daughter.

You have enough to deal with right now!! I don't think you're feeling sorry

for yourself at all. I can understand a tiny bit of what you may be

feeling.....I'm still struggling with the estrangement from my sister and

with my Dad being so 'absent' right now. Thank God for my brother!

Here's some thoughts I had when I read your post. Your daughter is scared.

I know I sound like a broken record with this scared, fear of pain thing,

but I hear it a LOT when folks talk or more likely, don't talk to someone

with chronic pain. She's scared she's going to end up in pain and with

illness like you have. She's scared her daughter will too! She figures if

she doesn't know any of the 'gory details' she'll not have to deal with any

of it. She's sticking her head in the sand. She's focused entirely on how

SHE feels with no thought to how you feel. She's also scared she's losing

her Mom to her Mom's new friends, friends who are supportive and THERE for

her, online! She's also jealous of what you've found online, interesting

things to see, learn, talk about, and that's probably ticking her off too.

All this is about HER, not you really. I think she's being manipulative and

trying to make you feel guilty. There was a message earlier about denial.

Right now your daughter is in total denial, IMO. She's hurting you horribly

but she's not able to see that at all right now.

I don't know if any of my thoughts on this help. I could be waaaaaay

off-base, but boy that's what I heard when I read your post! I don't know

what you can DO about this situation. I agree that it totally sucks.

gentle hugz,

Ruthie

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Ruthie Cunliffe K2ZQ

ruthie@...

I USED TO HAVE A HANDLE ON LIFE BUT IT FELL OFF

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