Update on my brother Timmy

[Guest guest]

Well, it looks as if we exhausted all of our possibilities with my brother. I

took my mother in to see him today and before we made it into his room, they

took us into " the conference room " .

In addition to the liver failure, he has a bleeding, a temp, lungs are a mess,

kidneys are failing again and he went from the lowest setting on the vent to the

highest setting - all of this happened overnight.

My sister in law is not dealing well with this at all. On the way home, my

mother and I discussed the outcomes... and we are in agreement that we need to

start comfort care... we can't handle the thought of him suffering. I called my

SIL and asked her to come to my mother's house so we could all discuss this...

and the bottom line after much crying and talking... she said needed time.

Which I totally understand, but at the same time I don't want my brother to

suffer needlessly.

But my biggest concern is that she doesn't want anyone with him when he dies. I

really feel like I NEED to be there. I've talked to my husband about this - he

lost his dad to lung cancer when he was 19... his entire family was there when

his dad passed. He said that he thought I would regret not being there for my

brother if I feel so strongly about it. I just think SOMEONE needs to be with

him when he passes... is this wrong? Have any of you had to make this choice?

How did your families handle this? Did you keep your distance or did you make

sure you were in the room the entire time? Does anyone know what to expect? I

don't want to watch him struggling for breath when they take the vent off him...

this would just be devestating.

I'm so sorry to come here with all of this... I know it must be bummer to all of

you. But I really feel a connection here and I know you'll all be totally

honest with me. Any advice you can provide would be greatly appreciated.

Still needing the prayers...

Lori