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My least favorite thing was from my husband's own sister: "I really admire you for loving her"

I've fantasized ever since about sniping back that I really admired her for loving her (typical) ill behaved son. I'm glad I didn't because I'd regret it but that's my fantasy response.

Kathy

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> I know people don't mean it wrong or hurtful when they say it,

but... I am just so tired of hearing, " God knew what he was doing

when he gave you Hunter, because I just couldn't handle it " . Like he

SUCH a burden and we are just so good at carrying that burden...

Sometimes when I've had a trying day and feel mean, LOL, I just look

at them and don't say a word.

>

> Patty

>

You HAVE to read Dave's blog titled " Saintly "

http://davehingsburger.blogspot.com/

It's hilarious!!

Debbie (I'm No Saint!) I. from NJ

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What?? What were you supposed to do?? Why wouldn’t you

love your daughter?

My husband has a brother(Joe) with Ds…when I called my SIL

to tell her the news about Danny, I tried to think of a way to kind of lighten

it up…so I said,,”Well, the baby is here, and he has a lot of his

Uncle Joe in him..and she burst out crying…it took quite a while to comfort

her….not exactly what I wanted to have to do..I knew that they loved

their brother, but when she started crying like that, all I could think of was

how awful her childhood with him must have been.

BUT..after that first reaction, she really went on to embrace

him..she loves him and is very proud of him. So hopefully your SIL was just

trying to give you a sincere compliment(in a clumsy sort of way;-)??

From:

DownSyndromeInfoExchange

[mailto:DownSyndromeInfoExchange ] On Behalf Of Kathy

Sent: Tuesday, October 07, 2008 4:54 PM

To: DS Info

Subject: [DownSyndromeInfoExchange] Re: What not to say...

My

least favorite thing was from my husband's own sister: " I really

admire you for loving her "

I've

fantasized ever since about sniping back that I really admired her for loving

her (typical) ill behaved son. I'm glad I didn't because I'd regret it

but that's my fantasy response.

Kathy

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mine was from my MIL (I think I have mentioned it before) - " When will they find out how retarded he is? " Not sure if she was waiting to see whether to love him or not. I am not as strong as Kathy and I lipped off with some comment about the other grandkids and when they would get their diagnosis. Needless to say I was NOT the favorite DIL. :-)My least favorite thing was from my husband's own sister: " I really admire you for loving her " I've fantasized ever since about sniping back that I really admired her for loving her (typical) ill behaved son. I'm glad I didn't because I'd regret it but that's my fantasy response. Kathy

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It's just amazing how we have had to field comments like these from the RELATIVES. Ugh!

I had Olivia when I was 35. We spoke of having more children at 37. My own DAD said to me, "If you get this (Olivia) at 35, what do you get at 37?!" He's a waspy type. I'm the black sheep, I guess!

My parents favor my typical daughter over Olivia BIG TIME. Does anyone else deal with that? Like they're always inviting (typical 10 year old) over and asking her to go places and they don't invite Olivia.

I've been dealing with this for so long that it's become commonplace.

I think that my parents think that Olivia will always be in another world and won't realize that she isn't included in things!

Carolyn

http://stores.ebay.com/ck-antiques_W0QQsspagenameZL2222QQtZkm

We've gone co-op! Come and see our newest location at Black Diamond Antiques in the Schuylkill Mall, Frackville, PA!

'Don't worry about the world coming to an end today.It's already tomorrow in Australia ' ( Schultz)

-- RE: [DownSyndromeInfoExchange] Re: What not to say...

mine was from my MIL (I think I have mentioned it before) - "When will they find out how retarded he is?" Not sure if she was waiting to see whether to love him or not. I am not as strong as Kathy and I lipped off with some comment about the other grandkids and when they would get their diagnosis. Needless to say I was NOT the favorite DIL. :-)

My least favorite thing was from my husband's own sister: "I really admire you for loving her"

I've fantasized ever since about sniping back that I really admired her for loving her (typical) ill behaved son. I'm glad I didn't because I'd regret it but that's my fantasy response.

Kathy

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I have the opposite - my parents love both my kids but walks on water especially to my dad. My MIL didn't seem to care about either one (my hubby is the baby of 5 in his family but pretty different from the others except for his oldest brother). It's just amazing how we have had to field comments like these from the RELATIVES. Ugh! I had Olivia when I was 35. We spoke of having more children at 37. My own DAD said to me, " If you get this (Olivia) at 35, what do you get at 37?! " He's a waspy type. I'm the black sheep, I guess! My parents favor my typical daughter over Olivia BIG TIME. Does anyone else deal with that? Like they're always inviting (typical 10 year old) over and asking her to go places and they don't invite Olivia. I've been dealing with this for so long that it's become commonplace. I think that my parents think that Olivia will always be in another world and won't realize that she isn't included in things! Carolyn http://stores. ebay.com/ ck-antiques_ W0QQsspagenameZL 2222QQtZkm We've gone co-op! Come and see our newest location at Black Diamond Antiques in the Schuylkill Mall, Frackville, PA! 'Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia ' ( Schultz) -- RE: [DownSyndromeInfoEx change] Re: What not to say... mine was from my MIL (I think I have mentioned it before) - " When will they find out how retarded he is? " Not sure if she was waiting to see whether to love him or not. I am not as strong as Kathy and I lipped off with some comment about the other grandkids and when they would get their diagnosis. Needless to say I was NOT the favorite DIL. :-) My least favorite thing was from my husband's own sister: " I really admire you for loving her " I've fantasized ever since about sniping back that I really admired her for loving her (typical) ill behaved son. I'm glad I didn't because I'd regret it but that's my fantasy response. Kathy FREE Animations for your email - by IncrediMail! Click Here!

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My mother favors my neices over ...visits them 2-3 times a year and 'might' visit us once a year. BUT he's a boy and they are girls...one more point in their favor...

, Mom to 15, DS, Southern CaliforniaTo succeed in life,you need three things:a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.~ Reba McIntyre

Diagnosis Down Syndrome: A Site of Hope for New Parents or Parents with a Prenatal Diagnosishttp://www.leeworks.net/DDS/What to Say to Parents of a Child with a Diagnosishttp://www.leeworks.net/DDS/speech.html

RE: [DownSyndromeInfoExchange] Re: What not to say...

mine was from my MIL (I think I have mentioned it before) - "When will they find out how retarded he is?" Not sure if she was waiting to see whether to love him or not. I am not as strong as Kathy and I lipped off with some comment about the other grandkids and when they would get their diagnosis. Needless to say I was NOT the favorite DIL. :-)

My least favorite thing was from my husband's own sister: "I really admire you for loving her"

I've fantasized ever since about sniping back that I really admired her for loving her (typical) ill behaved son. I'm glad I didn't because I'd regret it but that's my fantasy response.

Kathy

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Yes, my MIL asked my husband EVERY time they talked till was around 4 when they were doing his IQ test...my husband finally told her that it was against the law to do an IQ test on a kid with DS...she finally shut up!

, Mom to 15, DS, Southern CaliforniaTo succeed in life,you need three things:a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.~ Reba McIntyre

Diagnosis Down Syndrome: A Site of Hope for New Parents or Parents with a Prenatal Diagnosishttp://www.leeworks.net/DDS/What to Say to Parents of a Child with a Diagnosishttp://www.leeworks.net/DDS/speech.html

RE: [DownSyndromeInfoExchange] Re: What not to say...

mine was from my MIL (I think I have mentioned it before) - "When will they find out how retarded he is?" Not sure if she was waiting to see whether to love him or not. I am not as strong as Kathy and I lipped off with some comment about the other grandkids and when they would get their diagnosis. Needless to say I was NOT the favorite DIL. :-)

My least favorite thing was from my husband's own sister: "I really admire you for loving her"

I've fantasized ever since about sniping back that I really admired her for loving her (typical) ill behaved son. I'm glad I didn't because I'd regret it but that's my fantasy response.

Kathy

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My MIL (mother of the SIL who made the famous comment) does favor my typical daughter over . That family has always made what you DO and achieve the most important thing about who you are as a person so I guess in her mind will never achieve as much (obviously she is dead wrong but in her own mind I'm saying) so is not as worthy of love. It's made up for by my parents who love them equally and my dear, now departed grandmother ('s great-grandmother) who was mad at God after was born - after all she had prayed for a perfect great-grandchild diligently- but as got older said "I know I shouldn't have favorites among my great-grandchildren but I can't help it" Bless her soul.

Kathy

>My parents favor my typical daughter over >Olivia BIG TIME. Does anyone else>deal with that?

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love it! Yes, my MIL asked my husband EVERY time they talked till was around 4 when they were doing his IQ test...my husband finally told her that it was against the law to do an IQ test on a kid with DS...she finally shut up! , Mom to 15, DS, Southern California To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone. ~ Reba McIntyre Diagnosis Down Syndrome: A Site of Hope for New Parents or Parents with a Prenatal Diagnosis http://www.leeworks .net/DDS/What to Say to Parents of a Child with a Diagnosis http://www.leeworks .net/DDS/ speech.html RE: [DownSyndromeInfoEx change] Re: What not to say... mine was from my MIL (I think I have mentioned it before) - " When will they find out how retarded he is? " Not sure if she was waiting to see whether to love him or not. I am not as strong as Kathy and I lipped off with some comment about the other grandkids and when they would get their diagnosis. Needless to say I was NOT the favorite DIL. :-) My least favorite thing was from my husband's own sister: " I really admire you for loving her " I've fantasized ever since about sniping back that I really admired her for loving her (typical) ill behaved son. I'm glad I didn't because I'd regret it but that's my fantasy response. Kathy

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