Re: Re: fat-enabler study/discussion

[Guest guest]

me too...that is definitely a different kind of name.

Jane

[Guest guest]

Negativity would be ones who seem to have nothing to do but put people down. Negativity is not just a different opinion from others but things that are hurtful and mean. That is what I refer to by negativity. Everyone is entitled to a different opinion and this group generally in my experience has not problem with that. We have touched lightly on a lot of topics and there are many viewpoints on each topic. That is one of the reasons I appreciate this group.

Jane

[Guest guest]

I am curious as to why you chose the name "Plastic.Jesus163"??

Does it have any type of significant meaning to you?

Thanks,

in Texas (TnT)

Give yourself a real pay raise. GET OUT OF DEBT!

From: plastic.jesus163

[Guest guest]

Hi Honeybear.

You know, I am sad for your childhood. Many of us came from dysfunctional families. I think that is more common then "normal" ones. I myself had a dad at home till I was 15. All well and good. He supported us fine most of the time. And he was one of the most abusive men I know. He abused us physically, emotionally, sexually, you name it. And the really sad part of it was that I remember him telling me when I was about 12 that he was a sick man and he knew it. So just being home is no guarantee of a good family. And support is no guarantee either. There is no way I am saying any of this is true in Steve's case. So many times I see the happiest families who have very little financially. The love they have is beyond that. What is better, a home with love or one of resentment? Wives and mothers leave their children frequently to find themselves. Is it better or worse when a father does it? And yet from what I see Steve has not left his family. My husband worked out of town weekly when our children were small. They saw him on the weekends. And they were much happier then I was as a child. Because they got quality time when dad was home. So I do not believe there is a right or wrong standard for a family. What is right for each family is what works for that family. And unless one is part of the actual family one cannot know what is right or wrong. We can only judge by what is right for our own family.

Soap box now put away. Just my humble opinion.

Jane

[Guest guest]

How interesting, Jane. My husband also worked all over the world for stretches as long as three months at a time (he was a research geologist). Then my oldest graduated from highschool, and my younger son was having trouble with bad peers, I moved 200 miles away to where I had grown up to distance my son physically from these people (another story, but it was successful). My husband would join us on weekends. A long distance solution and one most families would not have chosen, but absolutely the best for us.at that time. It turned out to be a better thing for my and my husband's relationship, too, as he learned to respect my decision making abilities after we each had our own households, and we related much better with each other in the last several years of his life. He was preparing to retire and move to the Gulf Coast with us when he became ill with cancer. His relationship with his younger son, which had been quite stormy when they occupied the same household, became very close in later years, and in learning to respect me, his relationship with his daughter greatly improved, and he was able to be her greatest intellectual supporter, after having at one time been a man who believed that women belonged in the kitchen or the bed. His greatest joy, in the time he was fighting cancer, was all of the academic honors Becca was accumulating, and at the end, she was very well aware of how much he valued her.abilities.

W

Re: Re: fat-enabler study/discussion

Hi Honeybear.

You know, I am sad for your childhood. Many of us came from dysfunctional families. I think that is more common then "normal" ones. I myself had a dad at home till I was 15. All well and good. He supported us fine most of the time. And he was one of the most abusive men I know. He abused us physically, emotionally, sexually, you name it. And the really sad part of it was that I remember him telling me when I was about 12 that he was a sick man and he knew it. So just being home is no guarantee of a good family. And support is no guarantee either. There is no way I am saying any of this is true in Steve's case. So many times I see the happiest families who have very little financially. The love they have is beyond that. What is better, a home with love or one of resentment? Wives and mothers leave their children frequently to find themselves. Is it better or worse when a father does it? And yet from what I see Steve has not left his family. My husband worked out of town weekly when our children were small. They saw him on the weekends. And they were much happier then I was as a child. Because they got quality time when dad was home. So I do not believe there is a right or wrong standard for a family. What is right for each family is what works for that family. And unless one is part of the actual family one cannot know what is right or wrong. We can only judge by what is right for our own family.

Soap box now put away. Just my humble opinion.

Jane

[Guest guest]

Very well said and I "TOTALLY" agree.honeybearwoman wrote: >> Negativity would be ones who seem to have nothing to do but putpeople down. > Negativity is not just a different opinion from others but thingsthat are > hurtful and mean. That is what I refer to by negativity. Everyone isentitled > to a different opinion and

this group generally in my experiencehas not > problem with that. We have touched lightly on a lot of topics andthere are many > viewpoints on each topic. That is one of the reasons I appreciatethis group.> Jane>Hello Jane, I've read every article and have been following Steve'sprogress since he left Oceanside so long ago. I even took part in thepoll process when he asked for input. I also read the recent article .I felt sad, when at the end his Little girl turned to her Daddy andsaid she would support him 100% in what he wanted to do, And that wasincluding leaving her and her brother to walk around the world andface what ever unknowns out there. Why couldn't Steve be the onesaying "I will support you 100% And do what ever it takes to takecare of you and your brother.I came from a terrible childhood myself. An I too had to learn toheal an process what had happen in my past. It does come

down tochoice. An at this point in our lives everyday dosen't have to behappy, happy , joy,joy. My job is high stress, an I have my good daysand bad days. I make a living . And I'm a burden to nobody. Yoursweet little girl is living her portion of her childhood now. You candelay your journey until these kids grow up . Then if you want tolive on the Road , experience adventure. Go for it!!! Like I alwayssay to my daughter, I've had my say, But you don't have to do my say!It's your life. Take care

Tammy Bussey

P.O. Box 2471

New Caney, TX. 77357

Home

Alternate

tamdarbus@...

[Guest guest]

ty...you take care too.

Jane