Re: Cirrhosis disease

[Guest guest]

Thank you for this posting!

Lyncia

 

In life family and friends take us on all kinds of adventures, God helps us

choose our path....Enjoy your journey!

From: abijann <no_reply >

Subject: Cirrhosis disease

To: livercirrhosissupport

Date: Friday, November 21, 2008, 8:33 PM

When I walked into the doctor office that day, I thought it was

so beautiful outside and I just wanted to go out and enjoy the day.

I waited in the room that the nurse appointed me to until the

doctor finally came in. The doctor came in and shook my hand and

then proceeded to tell me the results of blood tests he had

taken just weeks before. Suddenly, my beautiful day had

turned into a very gloomy one, as he told me I had a disease

that could take my life. It shocked me beyond belief...How

could this be, I don't even feel sick. This guy must be mistaken

and he doesn't know what he is talking about...this isn't real.

Suddenly, the day didn't seem quite as bright and it was like

my future ahead was in jeopardy also. I left the doctor office

dazed and was too caught up in the words " I could die from it " to

even ask any questions. For a long time afterwards, those words

rang in my head but would not really sink in because I did not

want to believe it. No! this is happening to me. I have too

much I want to do with my life, places to go and things to get done.

I felt fine, why is he saying this. About a month later, my

skin started to turn yellow. Suddenly, I was feeling quite tired

and run down. Yet, I would not accept this as being anything at

all...just something I would get over. Am I in denial or

has this guy got something wrong with his head for saying those

things to me. I went back to him, though, with alot of

unanswered questions going through my head that were so many

that I could not possibly say what they all are now. I asked

him about the yellowing and he explain it to me about the

bilirubin being in my blood because the liver wasn't able

to handle it properly anymore. By the time I left his office,

another thing came to my mind this time: I was going to fight

this disease with everything that is inside of me. I would

find a cure for it and take supplements or do anything I can

to make it all go away. I did not realize that I might do

more harm to my body by ignoring what the doctor said and trying

to find a miracle cure on my own. Doctors don't know everything,

I told myself, and they are in this profession to make money.

So I left there and took supplements like herbs and tried different

vitamins regiments and also tried other things that people had

mentioned to me like cleanses. Nothing seem to help and some

even made me sicker. By the time I saw the doctor the next

time, I felt beaten to the ground and ask the doctor for his help.

At times I felt that turning to take in alcohol would get me

out of this misery I was experiencing. ..but the doctor had

warned me not to drink it. I could no longer run from

this disease, I had to learn to face it head on.

It has taken away my hopes, the future dreams I had, it is

taking away my time to see my children to grow up, it has

taken away my freedom to run my life the way I want, to go

do the things I want, to be with my family into old age or more,

to learn to let others do the things I once could do myself,

to rely on others and feel as if I am a burden to them, to...at

times...wonder why when I did nothing to cause this to happen..

to have people look at me like I had or to look at me because

I did do something to cause it and I cannot go back now and

undo it. What am I suppose to do next...I worry about leaving

my family when I am their most support and I have young children

who are not full of age where they go out on their own. I'm Beyond

MAD...I'm about half crazy. My mind isn't now what it should

be and people are correcting me constantly. They took away

my decision making and are telling me now what to do and how

to act. I feel like running away at times and wonder why

I was ever born to begin with. My loved ones would be better

off without me in their lives...they have to do everything now

because I'm not able to do anything anymore.

If you read this, this will help those who are taking care

of someone with cirrhosis realize that things are not so

easy for the patient. Looking at the possibility that they

have such a short time ahead or looking at the future as

full of these unknowns of what people may do to you

(like testing they have never experienced) or what happens

next (what the future will hold) and also the fact that their

body is doing things like someone invaded it and they look

in the mirror in disbelief because they no longer recognize

the person in that mirror as being them anymore or

the fact of facing a transplant, any pain form it, and how the

outcomes will turn out with that and if they can afford one or not.

Be kind and understanding to your loved one. They are dealing

with things that you have no idea what it is really like until

you go through it yourself. Treat them with respect, help

them make decisions, help them handle what they cannot handle,

talk to them about things openly and realize that they may

have a deep depression and need your love and support.