Guest guest Posted December 2, 2008 Report Share Posted December 2, 2008 Thanks everyone. One thing I forgot was that about an hour after he passed, my mother and I were walking in the gardens at hospice and my daughter took my mom's hand and said, " Nana...Grandpa isn't sick anymore " . Sera had also given him one of her stuffed animals at the hospital on sunday and it went to Hospice with him and we gave it to her Wednesday and told her she would always have Grandpa by her side. OK....gonna go cry another river now. Love, Tina _____ From: livercirrhosissupport [mailto:livercirrhosissupport ] On Behalf Of diane chandler Sent: Tuesday, December 02, 2008 1:26 PM To: livercirrhosissupport Subject: Re: My father's passing Tina, thank you for sharing you most private and precious with us. It sounds like your Dad's crossing was peaceful and beautiful. I am reminded of the scripture that says " precious in the sight of the Lord is the passing of His saints " . I am so thankful you all got to be there with him and that it was so peaceful. I am also thankful he was not in pain. I admire you for letting Sera be a part of the experience. So many people want to isolate children from the death experience, perhaps because they are afraid of all the questions children will ask. The death experience is a natural part of life and children can be very understanding if the information provided is kept to their level of understanding. I think the balloon idea is a wonderful one. I know it will be beautiful to watch the balloons ascend into the heavens, carrying your thoughts and prayers with them. I think it is a beautiful way to offer tribute to your Dad and the life he lived. I pray you are getting some rest now and that your health will not be adversely affected by all the stress. My heart and prayers remain with you and your family. I am so happy that you have decided to stay with us. Your generosity is so much appreciated and will be so helpful to others. God bless you for your giving spirit. Love and hugs............. Diane ________________________________ From: Tina <beadin_beagle@ <mailto:beadin_beagle%40yahoo.com> yahoo.com> To: livercirrhosissuppo <mailto:livercirrhosissupport%40yahoogroups.com> rt Sent: Tuesday, December 2, 2008 9:22:04 AM Subject: My father's passing I am finally getting around to catch up with all of you. As you know, my dad was transferred to Hospice last Monday. Since Sunday, the 23rd, he had been unresponsive and seemed comatose. On Tuesday, the let me bring my parents 2 miniature dachshunds to visit. He was still unresponsive, but I think he knew they were there. That afternoon, his mother called and spoke to him, as did my 3 year old daughter. That evening, his 3 biological children and one of his grand-daughters arrived from Mississippi & Tennessee. They visited while and his 2 sons spent the night at Hospice. I went home to my family to respect their time with him. Wednesday morning, my mom called and told me the nurses felt it would be only a few hours until his passing. His body temperature and blood pressure were dropping, his feet and legs were so cold and his feet had turned purple and his legs were mottled. I got to Hospice around 9am and his children arrived around 9:45. For the first time in years my mom, Ed's sister, myself, his 3 other children and grand-daughter were all in the room together. We sat telling stories of the old days as my mom and I held his hands. She and I both saw him take his last breath and called for the nurses. He still had a faint heart beats and we all held him and cried. My husband and daughter and my dad's business partner arrived about 5 minutes later and were able to say their good-byes as well. It was so peaceful and a moment I will never forget. It was very surreal for me as I have never had to deal with death and I thought I would be scared of the actual moment. I think that Ed's biological children were afraid to hold his hand and stroke his face. I had the same feeling when he first went into the hospital and I saw him but I soon realized that he was still the same person he had always been and I knew he needed to feel my mother and I's presence. I have so much respect for the people who work at Hospice. They are such an amazing organization. He wished to be creamated and we will scatter his ashed at my parents lake house in NC in the spring. The memoral is Friday. We've been busy getting it organized and the funeral director had a wonderful idea of having white balloons for us to write messages on and after the service we will release them into the heavens. I had never thought of something like that but I think it's a beautiful idea. Much Love, Tina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 2, 2008 Report Share Posted December 2, 2008 You are such a sweetie Bobby! Can't wait to give you a hug! Love, Pamela Subject: Re: My father's passing To: livercirrhosissupport Date: Tuesday, December 2, 2008, 12:04 PM Thank you for sharing this with the group. Too many times members unsubscribe and we never know what happened, and are left to wonder. We got so close to those here, that I cringe as a moderator every time I get a " johndoeyahoo (DOT) com has unsubscribed from your group " . Please do what you need to do to deal with this, and consider staying if possible to help others through this journey I know it is selfish of me to ask this of you at a time like this, but if you would think it over, and give it time. One of the main reasons I joined this group was not only to deal with my own illness but to also share my experience with Ardis, and in doing so keep her memory alive, and give her what she never had in life, and that is the compassion of hundreds of people knowing of her fate and struggle and death from alcoholic liver disease. Thank you, again, and God bless you and your family. The balloon thing is a wonderful idea. Love, Bobby long life, old age, everything good-Apache prayer ____________ _________ _________ __ Recent Activity 3 New Members 1 New Photos 1 New FilesVisit Your Group Meditation and Lovingkindness A Yahoo! Group to share and learn. Yahoo! Health Memory Loss Are you at risk for Alzheimers? New business? Get new customers. List your web site in Yahoo! Search. ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 2, 2008 Report Share Posted December 2, 2008 Tina, I too am so glad you shared your story with us. I am really happy that you will be staying with our forum. Your experience and talking about it can help so many others. Your story of your father's passing just may make it easier for me and others when our loved one's time comes. If Ed is still running a fever tomorrow, I am calling his gastro doc here and getting him in to see someone. I really feel he is sicker than he thinks....His sleepinh all the time, lethergy when he is awake, his unstableness when he walks, the fever....it all has me really concerned. Plus his odd conversations with us.......starting a conversation in the middle of a sentence.(like I've already heard the first half)......his forgetfullness. ....saying inappropiate things. I don't know...I just don't know. Love,Jill We don't remember days, we remember moments. Life is not measured by the breaths we take,but by the moments that take our breath away. Subject: My father's passing To: livercirrhosissupport Date: Tuesday, December 2, 2008, 10:22 AM I am finally getting around to catch up with all of you. As you know, my dad was transferred to Hospice last Monday. Since Sunday, the 23rd, he had been unresponsive and seemed comatose. On Tuesday, the let me bring my parents 2 miniature dachshunds to visit. He was still unresponsive, but I think he knew they were there. That afternoon, his mother called and spoke to him, as did my 3 year old daughter. That evening, his 3 biological children and one of his grand-daughters arrived from Mississippi & Tennessee. They visited while and his 2 sons spent the night at Hospice. I went home to my family to respect their time with him. Wednesday morning, my mom called and told me the nurses felt it would be only a few hours until his passing. His body temperature and blood pressure were dropping, his feet and legs were so cold and his feet had turned purple and his legs were mottled. I got to Hospice around 9am and his children arrived around 9:45. For the first time in years my mom, Ed's sister, myself, his 3 other children and grand-daughter were all in the room together. We sat telling stories of the old days as my mom and I held his hands. She and I both saw him take his last breath and called for the nurses. He still had a faint heart beats and we all held him and cried. My husband and daughter and my dad's business partner arrived about 5 minutes later and were able to say their good-byes as well. It was so peaceful and a moment I will never forget. It was very surreal for me as I have never had to deal with death and I thought I would be scared of the actual moment. I think that Ed's biological children were afraid to hold his hand and stroke his face. I had the same feeling when he first went into the hospital and I saw him but I soon realized that he was still the same person he had always been and I knew he needed to feel my mother and I's presence. I have so much respect for the people who work at Hospice. They are such an amazing organization. He wished to be creamated and we will scatter his ashed at my parents lake house in NC in the spring. The memoral is Friday. We've been busy getting it organized and the funeral director had a wonderful idea of having white balloons for us to write messages on and after the service we will release them into the heavens. I had never thought of something like that but I think it's a beautiful idea. Much Love, Tina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 2, 2008 Report Share Posted December 2, 2008 Tina, that is so precious! When my Mom passed away, my little great niece and great nephew were awed by Mamaw Mac's pretty bed! Kids just understand so much more than we give them credit for! ________________________________ To: livercirrhosissupport Sent: Tuesday, December 2, 2008 3:15:36 PM Subject: RE: My father's passing Thanks everyone. One thing I forgot was that about an hour after he passed, my mother and I were walking in the gardens at hospice and my daughter took my mom's hand and said, " Nana...Grandpa isn't sick anymore " . Sera had also given him one of her stuffed animals at the hospital on sunday and it went to Hospice with him and we gave it to her Wednesday and told her she would always have Grandpa by her side. OK....gonna go cry another river now. Love, Tina _____ From: livercirrhosissuppo rtyahoogroups (DOT) com [mailto:livercirrhosissuppo rtyahoogroups (DOT) com] On Behalf Of diane chandler Sent: Tuesday, December 02, 2008 1:26 PM To: livercirrhosissuppo rtyahoogroups (DOT) com Subject: Re: My father's passing Tina, thank you for sharing you most private and precious with us. It sounds like your Dad's crossing was peaceful and beautiful. I am reminded of the scripture that says " precious in the sight of the Lord is the passing of His saints " . I am so thankful you all got to be there with him and that it was so peaceful. I am also thankful he was not in pain. I admire you for letting Sera be a part of the experience. So many people want to isolate children from the death experience, perhaps because they are afraid of all the questions children will ask. The death experience is a natural part of life and children can be very understanding if the information provided is kept to their level of understanding. I think the balloon idea is a wonderful one. I know it will be beautiful to watch the balloons ascend into the heavens, carrying your thoughts and prayers with them. I think it is a beautiful way to offer tribute to your Dad and the life he lived. I pray you are getting some rest now and that your health will not be adversely affected by all the stress. My heart and prayers remain with you and your family. I am so happy that you have decided to stay with us. Your generosity is so much appreciated and will be so helpful to others. God bless you for your giving spirit. Love and hugs........ ..... Diane ____________ _________ _________ __ From: Tina <beadin_beagle@ <mailto:beadin_ beagle%40yahoo. com> yahoo.com> To: livercirrhosissuppo <mailto:livercirrho sissupport% 40yahoogroups. com> rtyahoogroups (DOT) com Sent: Tuesday, December 2, 2008 9:22:04 AM Subject: My father's passing I am finally getting around to catch up with all of you. As you know, my dad was transferred to Hospice last Monday. Since Sunday, the 23rd, he had been unresponsive and seemed comatose. On Tuesday, the let me bring my parents 2 miniature dachshunds to visit. He was still unresponsive, but I think he knew they were there. That afternoon, his mother called and spoke to him, as did my 3 year old daughter. That evening, his 3 biological children and one of his grand-daughters arrived from Mississippi & Tennessee. They visited while and his 2 sons spent the night at Hospice. I went home to my family to respect their time with him. Wednesday morning, my mom called and told me the nurses felt it would be only a few hours until his passing. His body temperature and blood pressure were dropping, his feet and legs were so cold and his feet had turned purple and his legs were mottled. I got to Hospice around 9am and his children arrived around 9:45. For the first time in years my mom, Ed's sister, myself, his 3 other children and grand-daughter were all in the room together. We sat telling stories of the old days as my mom and I held his hands. She and I both saw him take his last breath and called for the nurses. He still had a faint heart beats and we all held him and cried. My husband and daughter and my dad's business partner arrived about 5 minutes later and were able to say their good-byes as well. It was so peaceful and a moment I will never forget. It was very surreal for me as I have never had to deal with death and I thought I would be scared of the actual moment. I think that Ed's biological children were afraid to hold his hand and stroke his face. I had the same feeling when he first went into the hospital and I saw him but I soon realized that he was still the same person he had always been and I knew he needed to feel my mother and I's presence. I have so much respect for the people who work at Hospice. They are such an amazing organization. He wished to be creamated and we will scatter his ashed at my parents lake house in NC in the spring. The memoral is Friday. We've been busy getting it organized and the funeral director had a wonderful idea of having white balloons for us to write messages on and after the service we will release them into the heavens. I had never thought of something like that but I think it's a beautiful idea. Much Love, Tina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 2, 2008 Report Share Posted December 2, 2008 Jill, he sounds really sick. Maybe you shouldn't wait till morning. Maybe you should go ahead and call the doctor now or maybe even take him on in to the ER. The confusion is very troubling to me. Let us know, okay. I love you sweetie and I'm praying for you and Ed. Hugs........... Diane ________________________________ To: livercirrhosissupport Sent: Tuesday, December 2, 2008 6:05:26 PM Subject: Re: My father's passing Tina, I too am so glad you shared your story with us. I am really happy that you will be staying with our forum. Your experience and talking about it can help so many others. Your story of your father's passing just may make it easier for me and others when our loved one's time comes. If Ed is still running a fever tomorrow, I am calling his gastro doc here and getting him in to see someone. I really feel he is sicker than he thinks....His sleepinh all the time, lethergy when he is awake, his unstableness when he walks, the fever....it all has me really concerned. Plus his odd conversations with us.......starting a conversation in the middle of a sentence.(like I've already heard the first half)......his forgetfullness. ....saying inappropiate things. I don't know...I just don't know. Love,Jill We don't remember days, we remember moments. Life is not measured by the breaths we take,but by the moments that take our breath away. From: Tina <beadin_beagle@ yahoo.com> Subject: My father's passing To: livercirrhosissuppo rtyahoogroups (DOT) com Date: Tuesday, December 2, 2008, 10:22 AM I am finally getting around to catch up with all of you. As you know, my dad was transferred to Hospice last Monday. Since Sunday, the 23rd, he had been unresponsive and seemed comatose. On Tuesday, the let me bring my parents 2 miniature dachshunds to visit. He was still unresponsive, but I think he knew they were there. That afternoon, his mother called and spoke to him, as did my 3 year old daughter. That evening, his 3 biological children and one of his grand-daughters arrived from Mississippi & Tennessee. They visited while and his 2 sons spent the night at Hospice. I went home to my family to respect their time with him. Wednesday morning, my mom called and told me the nurses felt it would be only a few hours until his passing. His body temperature and blood pressure were dropping, his feet and legs were so cold and his feet had turned purple and his legs were mottled. I got to Hospice around 9am and his children arrived around 9:45. For the first time in years my mom, Ed's sister, myself, his 3 other children and grand-daughter were all in the room together. We sat telling stories of the old days as my mom and I held his hands. She and I both saw him take his last breath and called for the nurses. He still had a faint heart beats and we all held him and cried. My husband and daughter and my dad's business partner arrived about 5 minutes later and were able to say their good-byes as well. It was so peaceful and a moment I will never forget. It was very surreal for me as I have never had to deal with death and I thought I would be scared of the actual moment. I think that Ed's biological children were afraid to hold his hand and stroke his face. I had the same feeling when he first went into the hospital and I saw him but I soon realized that he was still the same person he had always been and I knew he needed to feel my mother and I's presence. I have so much respect for the people who work at Hospice. They are such an amazing organization. He wished to be creamated and we will scatter his ashed at my parents lake house in NC in the spring. The memoral is Friday. We've been busy getting it organized and the funeral director had a wonderful idea of having white balloons for us to write messages on and after the service we will release them into the heavens. I had never thought of something like that but I think it's a beautiful idea. Much Love, Tina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 2, 2008 Report Share Posted December 2, 2008 I agree with Diane. The fever and development of Hepatic Encephalopathy (mental confusion), lethargy are not good signs. The best thing to do is take him to the ER and not wait for a routine appointment. They have a better ability to treat him there and help him. MaC diane chandler wrote: Jill, he sounds really sick. Maybe you shouldn't wait till morning. Maybe you should go ahead and call the doctor now or maybe even take him on in to the ER. The confusion is very troubling to me. Let us know, okay. I love you sweetie and I'm praying for you and Ed. Hugs........... Diane ________________________________ To: livercirrhosissupport Sent: Tuesday, December 2, 2008 6:05:26 PM Subject: Re: My father's passing Tina, I too am so glad you shared your story with us. I am really happy that you will be staying with our forum. Your experience and talking about it can help so many others. Your story of your father's passing just may make it easier for me and others when our loved one's time comes. If Ed is still running a fever tomorrow, I am calling his gastro doc here and getting him in to see someone. I really feel he is sicker than he thinks....His sleepinh all the time, lethergy when he is awake, his unstableness when he walks, the fever....it all has me really concerned. Plus his odd conversations with us.......starting a conversation in the middle of a sentence.(like I've already heard the first half)......his forgetfullness. ....saying inappropiate things. I don't know...I just don't know. Love,Jill We don't remember days, we remember moments. Life is not measured by the breaths we take,but by the moments that take our breath away. From: Tina <beadin_beagle@ yahoo.com> Subject: My father's passing To: livercirrhosissuppo rtyahoogroups (DOT) com Date: Tuesday, December 2, 2008, 10:22 AM I am finally getting around to catch up with all of you. As you know, my dad was transferred to Hospice last Monday. Since Sunday, the 23rd, he had been unresponsive and seemed comatose. On Tuesday, the let me bring my parents 2 miniature dachshunds to visit. He was still unresponsive, but I think he knew they were there. That afternoon, his mother called and spoke to him, as did my 3 year old daughter. That evening, his 3 biological children and one of his grand-daughters arrived from Mississippi & Tennessee. They visited while and his 2 sons spent the night at Hospice. I went home to my family to respect their time with him. Wednesday morning, my mom called and told me the nurses felt it would be only a few hours until his passing. His body temperature and blood pressure were dropping, his feet and legs were so cold and his feet had turned purple and his legs were mottled. I got to Hospice around 9am and his children arrived around 9:45. For the first time in years my mom, Ed's sister, myself, his 3 other children and grand-daughter were all in the room together. We sat telling stories of the old days as my mom and I held his hands. She and I both saw him take his last breath and called for the nurses. He still had a faint heart beats and we all held him and cried. My husband and daughter and my dad's business partner arrived about 5 minutes later and were able to say their good-byes as well. It was so peaceful and a moment I will never forget. It was very surreal for me as I have never had to deal with death and I thought I would be scared of the actual moment. I think that Ed's biological children were afraid to hold his hand and stroke his face. I had the same feeling when he first went into the hospital and I saw him but I soon realized that he was still the same person he had always been and I knew he needed to feel my mother and I's presence. I have so much respect for the people who work at Hospice. They are such an amazing organization. He wished to be creamated and we will scatter his ashed at my parents lake house in NC in the spring. The memoral is Friday. We've been busy getting it organized and the funeral director had a wonderful idea of having white balloons for us to write messages on and after the service we will release them into the heavens. I had never thought of something like that but I think it's a beautiful idea. Much Love, Tina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 2, 2008 Report Share Posted December 2, 2008 He upsets me so much. He says he doesn't need to go to see a doc.. And he's been snapping at me lately....which is really unlike him. I'm beginning to feel that he is just willing to die. I'll tell you, I don't know if I can live like this. Someone give me the pep talk to tell me I can stick this out. This man won't help himself...won't learn about his disease...won't admit that his blood sugars will go whacky when he's sick...won't admit that a fever in someone with cirrhosis can mean an infection. I've told him all these things, but he doesn't want to hear any of it. I can't do it for him. That's what landed him in this mess....I couldn't control his diabetes for him or his high cholesterol and high triglycerides and he wouldn't take it seriously on his own. I have my own medical issues, which I take care of. I am just so tired. and very very depressed. Love,Jill We don't remember days, we remember moments. Life is not measured by the breaths we take,but by the moments that take our breath away. From: Tina <beadin_beagle@ yahoo.com> Subject: My father's passing To: livercirrhosissuppo rtyahoogroups (DOT) com Date: Tuesday, December 2, 2008, 10:22 AM I am finally getting around to catch up with all of you. As you know, my dad was transferred to Hospice last Monday. Since Sunday, the 23rd, he had been unresponsive and seemed comatose. On Tuesday, the let me bring my parents 2 miniature dachshunds to visit. He was still unresponsive, but I think he knew they were there. That afternoon, his mother called and spoke to him, as did my 3 year old daughter. That evening, his 3 biological children and one of his grand-daughters arrived from Mississippi & Tennessee. They visited while and his 2 sons spent the night at Hospice. I went home to my family to respect their time with him. Wednesday morning, my mom called and told me the nurses felt it would be only a few hours until his passing. His body temperature and blood pressure were dropping, his feet and legs were so cold and his feet had turned purple and his legs were mottled. I got to Hospice around 9am and his children arrived around 9:45. For the first time in years my mom, Ed's sister, myself, his 3 other children and grand-daughter were all in the room together. We sat telling stories of the old days as my mom and I held his hands. She and I both saw him take his last breath and called for the nurses. He still had a faint heart beats and we all held him and cried. My husband and daughter and my dad's business partner arrived about 5 minutes later and were able to say their good-byes as well. It was so peaceful and a moment I will never forget. It was very surreal for me as I have never had to deal with death and I thought I would be scared of the actual moment. I think that Ed's biological children were afraid to hold his hand and stroke his face. I had the same feeling when he first went into the hospital and I saw him but I soon realized that he was still the same person he had always been and I knew he needed to feel my mother and I's presence. I have so much respect for the people who work at Hospice. They are such an amazing organization. He wished to be creamated and we will scatter his ashed at my parents lake house in NC in the spring. The memoral is Friday. We've been busy getting it organized and the funeral director had a wonderful idea of having white balloons for us to write messages on and after the service we will release them into the heavens. I had never thought of something like that but I think it's a beautiful idea. Much Love, Tina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 2, 2008 Report Share Posted December 2, 2008 Jill it isn't him snapping at you, it is the disease. If he is so mixed up that he can't make a decision to go to the doctor when he needs to, you can make that decision. He probably isn't even capable of deciding to die. If you told him you were calling the ambulance if he didn't let you take him to the er, would he change his mind. I know some people do because they don't want the expense of the ambulance or what they see as the embarrassment of having the ambulance come. If it gets to the point where you can't take it , you need to take a step back, call someone else to stay with him for an hour or so while you get out of the house. But, I am sure you can handle this. Just take it a minute at a time. And if you are a person of faith, now is the time to really rely on it. Ask God to help you, give you the strength and the patience to deal with what you need to deal with. The main reason I would rather die of a heart attack than of the liver cirrhosis, is that I don't want someone to have to do for me what you caretakers do for your loved ones. I admire you so much. Jan H > He upsets me so much. He says he doesn't need to go to see a doc.. And > he's been snapping at me lately....which is really unlike him. I'm beginning > to feel that he is just willing to die. I'll tell you, I don't know if I can > live like this. Someone give me the pep talk to tell me I can stick this > out. This man won't help himself...won't learn about his disease...won't > admit that his blood sugars will go whacky when he's sick...won't admit that > a fever in someone with cirrhosis can mean an infection. I've told him all > these things, but he doesn't want to hear any of it. I can't do it for him. > That's what landed him in this mess....I couldn't control his diabetes for > him or his high cholesterol and high triglycerides and he wouldn't take it > seriously on his own. I have my own medical issues, which I take care of. I > am just so tired. and very very depressed. > > > Love,Jill > > We don't remember days, we remember moments. > Life is not measured by the breaths we take,but by the moments that take > our breath away. > > > > From: Tina <beadin_beagle@ yahoo.com> > Subject: My father's passing > To: livercirrhosissuppo rtyahoogroups (DOT) com > Date: Tuesday, December 2, 2008, 10:22 AM > > I am finally getting around to catch up with all of you. > > As you know, my dad was transferred to Hospice last Monday. Since Sunday, > the 23rd, he had been unresponsive and seemed comatose. > > On Tuesday, the let me bring my parents 2 miniature dachshunds to visit. He > was still unresponsive, but I think he knew they were there. That > afternoon, his mother called and spoke to him, as did my 3 year old > daughter. > > That evening, his 3 biological children and one of his grand-daughters > arrived from Mississippi & Tennessee. They visited while and his 2 sons > spent the night at Hospice. I went home to my family to respect their time > with him. > > Wednesday morning, my mom called and told me the nurses felt it would be > only a few hours until his passing. His body temperature and blood pressure > were dropping, his feet and legs were so cold and his feet had turned > purple > and his legs were mottled. I got to Hospice around 9am and his children > arrived around 9:45. For the first time in years my mom, Ed's sister, > myself, his 3 other children and grand-daughter were all in the room > together. We sat telling stories of the old days as my mom and I held his > hands. She and I both saw him take his last breath and called for the > nurses. He still had a faint heart beats and we all held him and cried. My > husband and daughter and my dad's business partner arrived about 5 minutes > later and were able to say their good-byes as well. > > It was so peaceful and a moment I will never forget. It was very surreal > for me as I have never had to deal with death and I thought I would be > scared of the actual moment. I think that Ed's biological children were > afraid to hold his hand and stroke his face. I had the same feeling when he > first went into the hospital and I saw him but I soon realized that he was > still the same person he had always been and I knew he needed to feel my > mother and I's presence. > > I have so much respect for the people who work at Hospice. They are such an > amazing organization. > > He wished to be creamated and we will scatter his ashed at my parents lake > house in NC in the spring. > > The memoral is Friday. We've been busy getting it organized and the funeral > director had a wonderful idea of having white balloons for us to write > messages on and after the service we will release them into the heavens. I > had never thought of something like that but I think it's a beautiful idea. > > Much Love, > Tina > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 2, 2008 Report Share Posted December 2, 2008 Jan's right. Never argue with a sick liver. Read Ardis' story, about how she yelled at me, and I yelled back. I only did that once. She called me every name in the book, and even made up a few. I got used to it, after a while. She even laughed afterward sometimes. Being sick sucks. Encephalopathy is a very strange creature, and will turn your loved one into a vile beast which doesn't resemble their former selves. Take a deep breath, count to 10, and really really pick your battles, and retreat when at all possible. If Ardis called me a jackass and claimed to be in Hawaii, I just went along with her, and apologised. It wasn't easy, but I have very very tiny regrets. So tiny in fact, that almost all of my memories are precious ones. Love bobby Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile My father's passing To: livercirrhosissuppo rtyahoogroups (DOT) com Date: Tuesday, December 2, 2008, 10:22 AM I am finally getting around to catch up with all of you. As you know, my dad was transferred to Hospice last Monday. Since Sunday, the 23rd, he had been unresponsive and seemed comatose. On Tuesday, the let me bring my parents 2 miniature dachshunds to visit. He was still unresponsive, but I think he knew they were there. That afternoon, his mother called and spoke to him, as did my 3 year old daughter. That evening, his 3 biological children and one of his grand-daughters arrived from Mississippi & Tennessee. They visited while and his 2 sons spent the night at Hospice. I went home to my family to respect their time with him. Wednesday morning, my mom called and told me the nurses felt it would be only a few hours until his passing. His body temperature and blood pressure were dropping, his feet and legs were so cold and his feet had turned purple and his legs were mottled. I got to Hospice around 9am and his children arrived around 9:45. For the first time in years my mom, Ed's sister, myself, his 3 other children and grand-daughter were all in the room together. We sat telling stories of the old days as my mom and I held his hands. She and I both saw him take his last breath and called for the nurses. He still had a faint heart beats and we all held him and cried. My husband and daughter and my dad's business partner arrived about 5 minutes later and were able to say their good-byes as well. It was so peaceful and a moment I will never forget. It was very surreal for me as I have never had to deal with death and I thought I would be scared of the actual moment. I think that Ed's biological children were afraid to hold his hand and stroke his face. I had the same feeling when he first went into the hospital and I saw him but I soon realized that he was still the same person he had always been and I knew he needed to feel my mother and I's presence. I have so much respect for the people who work at Hospice. They are such an amazing organization. He wished to be creamated and we will scatter his ashed at my parents lake house in NC in the spring. The memoral is Friday. We've been busy getting it organized and the funeral director had a wonderful idea of having white balloons for us to write messages on and after the service we will release them into the heavens. I had never thought of something like that but I think it's a beautiful idea. Much Love, Tina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 3, 2008 Report Share Posted December 3, 2008 i do feel your frustrations. i have one just like yours...i usually do something like " well i made the appointment and if i cancel it will cost us money " money is an attention getter...the bickering usually subsides. I hate fighting over this with him, but we do what we have to do. sometimes our husbands are like our children. i agree with all about going to the doc it is better safe then sorry. love sandra ________________________________ To: livercirrhosissupport Sent: Tuesday, December 2, 2008 10:40:10 PM Subject: Re: My father's passing He upsets me so much. He says he doesn't need to go to see a doc.. And he's been snapping at me lately....which is really unlike him. I'm beginning to feel that he is just willing to die. I'll tell you, I don't know if I can live like this. Someone give me the pep talk to tell me I can stick this out. This man won't help himself...won' t learn about his disease...won' t admit that his blood sugars will go whacky when he's sick...won't admit that a fever in someone with cirrhosis can mean an infection. I've told him all these things, but he doesn't want to hear any of it. I can't do it for him. That's what landed him in this mess....I couldn't control his diabetes for him or his high cholesterol and high triglycerides and he wouldn't take it seriously on his own. I have my own medical issues, which I take care of. I am just so tired. and very very depressed. Love,Jill We don't remember days, we remember moments. Life is not measured by the breaths we take,but by the moments that take our breath away. From: Tina <beadin_beagle@ yahoo.com> Subject: My father's passing To: livercirrhosissuppo rtyahoogroups (DOT) com Date: Tuesday, December 2, 2008, 10:22 AM I am finally getting around to catch up with all of you. As you know, my dad was transferred to Hospice last Monday. Since Sunday, the 23rd, he had been unresponsive and seemed comatose. On Tuesday, the let me bring my parents 2 miniature dachshunds to visit. He was still unresponsive, but I think he knew they were there. That afternoon, his mother called and spoke to him, as did my 3 year old daughter. That evening, his 3 biological children and one of his grand-daughters arrived from Mississippi & Tennessee.. They visited while and his 2 sons spent the night at Hospice. I went home to my family to respect their time with him. Wednesday morning, my mom called and told me the nurses felt it would be only a few hours until his passing. His body temperature and blood pressure were dropping, his feet and legs were so cold and his feet had turned purple and his legs were mottled. I got to Hospice around 9am and his children arrived around 9:45. For the first time in years my mom, Ed's sister, myself, his 3 other children and grand-daughter were all in the room together. We sat telling stories of the old days as my mom and I held his hands. She and I both saw him take his last breath and called for the nurses. He still had a faint heart beats and we all held him and cried. My husband and daughter and my dad's business partner arrived about 5 minutes later and were able to say their good-byes as well. It was so peaceful and a moment I will never forget. It was very surreal for me as I have never had to deal with death and I thought I would be scared of the actual moment. I think that Ed's biological children were afraid to hold his hand and stroke his face. I had the same feeling when he first went into the hospital and I saw him but I soon realized that he was still the same person he had always been and I knew he needed to feel my mother and I's presence. I have so much respect for the people who work at Hospice. They are such an amazing organization. He wished to be creamated and we will scatter his ashed at my parents lake house in NC in the spring. The memoral is Friday. We've been busy getting it organized and the funeral director had a wonderful idea of having white balloons for us to write messages on and after the service we will release them into the heavens. I had never thought of something like that but I think it's a beautiful idea. Much Love, Tina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 3, 2008 Report Share Posted December 3, 2008 Jill, I feel so for you because I feel like I am you. Terry is just like Ed. He simply refuses to do anything I ask him to do. I am at my wits end and hear that same desperation in your voice. Like Ed, he would never try to do anything for himself regarding his diabetes. I would tell him how he needed to be more careful about what he was eating. He'd say " that's what I take these pills for " . Same goes for cholesterol and trigycerides. He never drank very much, but he had the same type of uncontrolled need for food as does an alcoholic for a drink. It never helped that his Mom wanted to feed him everytime she was within sight of him. Now, I'm the one wiping up all mess! When he was diagnosed with cirrhosis, he wouldn't do the things the doctor told him to do. Then, when they finally told him he had a few months to live, he started to take it more seriously. Then, he got tired of the changes and decided he was dying anyway and he'd just do like he wanted, which is what got him into the mess anyway! It makes me want to scream! So, I do understand what you're saying, Jill. Like you, I have my own health issues and I try really hard to take care of them. The stress that this is causing is making my problems worse. Terry doesn't seem to care about that. I love Terry with all my heart and it is breaking my heart to see him dying. It just bothers me that he won't do anything to help himself. I don't talk about it much because I don't want to sound like I'm complaining about taking care of him. It's not that I mind taking care of him, it's just that I'm the only one who seems to be taking care of him; he won't even take care of himself! Even just typing this, I feel like everyone is going to think I'm a terrible person! On some days I am so frustrated with cleaning up behind him after he loses control of his bowels or waiting on him hand and foot while trying to ease my own pain that I honestly think to myself " when is this going to be over " ?! Then, I think about what I've just said to myself and I'm eaten up with guilt! How could I think that? What kind of person am I that I would think that kind of thing about my own husband?! Then I'm depressed even further for allowing myself to get so carried away with emotion that I would even dare to think such awful thoughts! Jill, I wish I could encourage you. I wish I could tell you it's all going to work out okay. But, the way I see it, our situation isn't going to change. We're going to continue to watch our husbands die a little bit each day and they're going to do nothing to help themselves or let us help them. I've reached the conclusion that all I can do here is pray for the Lord to give me the physical and emotional strength to bear this and to try to be there for him. I can't make him take care of himself or even get the medical help he needs, when he needs it. And, I'm rambling. Nothing worse than a rambling female! I love ya Jill and I wish I could do something to help you. I'm praying for you sweetie. My heart aches for you because I know what you're going through. Love and hugs............ Diane ________________________________ To: livercirrhosissupport Sent: Tuesday, December 2, 2008 9:40:10 PM Subject: Re: My father's passing He upsets me so much. He says he doesn't need to go to see a doc.. And he's been snapping at me lately....which is really unlike him. I'm beginning to feel that he is just willing to die. I'll tell you, I don't know if I can live like this. Someone give me the pep talk to tell me I can stick this out. This man won't help himself...won' t learn about his disease...won' t admit that his blood sugars will go whacky when he's sick...won't admit that a fever in someone with cirrhosis can mean an infection. I've told him all these things, but he doesn't want to hear any of it. I can't do it for him. That's what landed him in this mess....I couldn't control his diabetes for him or his high cholesterol and high triglycerides and he wouldn't take it seriously on his own. I have my own medical issues, which I take care of. I am just so tired. and very very depressed. Love,Jill We don't remember days, we remember moments. Life is not measured by the breaths we take,but by the moments that take our breath away. From: Tina <beadin_beagle@ yahoo.com> Subject: My father's passing To: livercirrhosissuppo rtyahoogroups (DOT) com Date: Tuesday, December 2, 2008, 10:22 AM I am finally getting around to catch up with all of you. As you know, my dad was transferred to Hospice last Monday. Since Sunday, the 23rd, he had been unresponsive and seemed comatose. On Tuesday, the let me bring my parents 2 miniature dachshunds to visit. He was still unresponsive, but I think he knew they were there. That afternoon, his mother called and spoke to him, as did my 3 year old daughter. That evening, his 3 biological children and one of his grand-daughters arrived from Mississippi & Tennessee. They visited while and his 2 sons spent the night at Hospice. I went home to my family to respect their time with him. Wednesday morning, my mom called and told me the nurses felt it would be only a few hours until his passing. His body temperature and blood pressure were dropping, his feet and legs were so cold and his feet had turned purple and his legs were mottled. I got to Hospice around 9am and his children arrived around 9:45. For the first time in years my mom, Ed's sister, myself, his 3 other children and grand-daughter were all in the room together. We sat telling stories of the old days as my mom and I held his hands. She and I both saw him take his last breath and called for the nurses. He still had a faint heart beats and we all held him and cried. My husband and daughter and my dad's business partner arrived about 5 minutes later and were able to say their good-byes as well. It was so peaceful and a moment I will never forget. It was very surreal for me as I have never had to deal with death and I thought I would be scared of the actual moment. I think that Ed's biological children were afraid to hold his hand and stroke his face. I had the same feeling when he first went into the hospital and I saw him but I soon realized that he was still the same person he had always been and I knew he needed to feel my mother and I's presence. I have so much respect for the people who work at Hospice. They are such an amazing organization. He wished to be creamated and we will scatter his ashed at my parents lake house in NC in the spring. The memoral is Friday. We've been busy getting it organized and the funeral director had a wonderful idea of having white balloons for us to write messages on and after the service we will release them into the heavens. I had never thought of something like that but I think it's a beautiful idea. Much Love, Tina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 3, 2008 Report Share Posted December 3, 2008 Then pep talk you will get lovely lady! Jan is correct though God will help you and he does only give us as much as he knows we can handle. I to also care for my father in law whom has been bed riddin for over 4 yrs now,and getting him to eat and drink sometimes makes me want to scream,he has severe alzheimers,and spits and loves to rake my last nerve,and I'm also sick,so I can relate! Taking care of someone takes it's toll,but it is all worth it.Take some quiet time to yourself,I can tell you a joke...... cheer up,thats an order.Tomorrow is a new day. My prayers are with you! > > From: Tina <beadin_beagle@ yahoo.com> > Subject: My father's passing > To: livercirrhosissuppo rtyahoogroups (DOT) com > Date: Tuesday, December 2, 2008, 10:22 AM > > I am finally getting around to catch up with all of you. > > As you know, my dad was transferred to Hospice last Monday. Since Sunday, > the 23rd, he had been unresponsive and seemed comatose. > > On Tuesday, the let me bring my parents 2 miniature dachshunds to visit. He > was still unresponsive, but I think he knew they were there. That > afternoon, his mother called and spoke to him, as did my 3 year old > daughter. > > That evening, his 3 biological children and one of his grand-daughters > arrived from Mississippi & Tennessee. They visited while and his 2 sons > spent the night at Hospice. I went home to my family to respect their time > with him. > > Wednesday morning, my mom called and told me the nurses felt it would be > only a few hours until his passing. His body temperature and blood pressure > were dropping, his feet and legs were so cold and his feet had turned > purple > and his legs were mottled. I got to Hospice around 9am and his children > arrived around 9:45. For the first time in years my mom, Ed's sister, > myself, his 3 other children and grand-daughter were all in the room > together. We sat telling stories of the old days as my mom and I held his > hands. She and I both saw him take his last breath and called for the > nurses. He still had a faint heart beats and we all held him and cried. My > husband and daughter and my dad's business partner arrived about 5 minutes > later and were able to say their good-byes as well. > > It was so peaceful and a moment I will never forget. It was very surreal > for me as I have never had to deal with death and I thought I would be > scared of the actual moment. I think that Ed's biological children were > afraid to hold his hand and stroke his face. I had the same feeling when he > first went into the hospital and I saw him but I soon realized that he was > still the same person he had always been and I knew he needed to feel my > mother and I's presence. > > I have so much respect for the people who work at Hospice. They are such an > amazing organization. > > He wished to be creamated and we will scatter his ashed at my parents lake > house in NC in the spring. > > The memoral is Friday. We've been busy getting it organized and the funeral > director had a wonderful idea of having white balloons for us to write > messages on and after the service we will release them into the heavens. I > had never thought of something like that but I think it's a beautiful idea. > > Much Love, > Tina > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 4, 2008 Report Share Posted December 4, 2008 Hello, everyone. I know what you're going through too. At this point, my husband is taking care of himself, but his starting this too late is what got him where he is. Everyone tried for years to get him to stop. When I met him, he was 9 months out from being shot (wrong place wrong time), and he was drinking heavily. He said it was situational and that he would quit one day. He even promised to quit when our son was born, but did not. He later had two back surgeries, and sank into himself even further. Alcoholism is a very selfish disease. Everything has always been about him. He leaves the t.v. on all night, lights on, runs the electric heaters we have instead of putting cloths on. It really pisses me off, but being angry doesn't make anything any better either. He wouldn't tell me what the doctor said early this year, when I had finally gotten him to go to the doc. He " didn't believe him " when he told him if he didn't stop drinking he would die, but wouldn't even share his disbelief with me. I've been watching this man kill himself for years and feeling helpless. Now, I have a four-year-old and I'm going to be a single mother AGAIN! This is not what I wanted to do with my life, that's for sure. I've given everything I have to take care of this man. The whole situation breaks my heat, because we could have had a good life together, but he decided to crawl into a bottle instead of getting help. Now, we're all going to suffer the rest of our lives for it. Yes, this whole thing sucks, but don't be angry with yourself or think you're a bad person for being sick of it all. Just hang in there and know you're not alone. Kim From: Tina <beadin_beagle@ yahoo.com> Subject: My father's passing To: livercirrhosissuppo rtyahoogroups (DOT) com Date: Tuesday, December 2, 2008, 10:22 AM I am finally getting around to catch up with all of you. As you know, my dad was transferred to Hospice last Monday. Since Sunday, the 23rd, he had been unresponsive and seemed comatose. On Tuesday, the let me bring my parents 2 miniature dachshunds to visit. He was still unresponsive, but I think he knew they were there. That afternoon, his mother called and spoke to him, as did my 3 year old daughter. That evening, his 3 biological children and one of his grand-daughters arrived from Mississippi & Tennessee. They visited while and his 2 sons spent the night at Hospice. I went home to my family to respect their time with him. Wednesday morning, my mom called and told me the nurses felt it would be only a few hours until his passing. His body temperature and blood pressure were dropping, his feet and legs were so cold and his feet had turned purple and his legs were mottled. I got to Hospice around 9am and his children arrived around 9:45. For the first time in years my mom, Ed's sister, myself, his 3 other children and grand-daughter were all in the room together. We sat telling stories of the old days as my mom and I held his hands. She and I both saw him take his last breath and called for the nurses. He still had a faint heart beats and we all held him and cried. My husband and daughter and my dad's business partner arrived about 5 minutes later and were able to say their good-byes as well. It was so peaceful and a moment I will never forget. It was very surreal for me as I have never had to deal with death and I thought I would be scared of the actual moment. I think that Ed's biological children were afraid to hold his hand and stroke his face. I had the same feeling when he first went into the hospital and I saw him but I soon realized that he was still the same person he had always been and I knew he needed to feel my mother and I's presence. I have so much respect for the people who work at Hospice. They are such an amazing organization. He wished to be creamated and we will scatter his ashed at my parents lake house in NC in the spring. The memoral is Friday. We've been busy getting it organized and the funeral director had a wonderful idea of having white balloons for us to write messages on and after the service we will release them into the heavens. I had never thought of something like that but I think it's a beautiful idea. Much Love, Tina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 4, 2008 Report Share Posted December 4, 2008 Wow, Kim....you've been through alot. Thanks for letting know it's okay to get upset. It doesn't mean I don't love him with all my heart....well you know what I mean! I know I'm not alone and I'm just glad we all have this forum. Sometimes we just need to vent........when I vent to my friends, then I don't vent to Ed. I talk to him when I've calmed down, thanks to my friends! Love,Jill We don't remember days, we remember moments. Life is not measured by the breaths we take,but by the moments that take our breath away. From: Tina <beadin_beagle@ yahoo.com> Subject: My father's passing To: livercirrhosissuppo rtyahoogroups (DOT) com Date: Tuesday, December 2, 2008, 10:22 AM I am finally getting around to catch up with all of you. As you know, my dad was transferred to Hospice last Monday. Since Sunday, the 23rd, he had been unresponsive and seemed comatose. On Tuesday, the let me bring my parents 2 miniature dachshunds to visit. He was still unresponsive, but I think he knew they were there. That afternoon, his mother called and spoke to him, as did my 3 year old daughter. That evening, his 3 biological children and one of his grand-daughters arrived from Mississippi & Tennessee. They visited while and his 2 sons spent the night at Hospice. I went home to my family to respect their time with him. Wednesday morning, my mom called and told me the nurses felt it would be only a few hours until his passing. His body temperature and blood pressure were dropping, his feet and legs were so cold and his feet had turned purple and his legs were mottled. I got to Hospice around 9am and his children arrived around 9:45. For the first time in years my mom, Ed's sister, myself, his 3 other children and grand-daughter were all in the room together. We sat telling stories of the old days as my mom and I held his hands. She and I both saw him take his last breath and called for the nurses. He still had a faint heart beats and we all held him and cried. My husband and daughter and my dad's business partner arrived about 5 minutes later and were able to say their good-byes as well. It was so peaceful and a moment I will never forget. It was very surreal for me as I have never had to deal with death and I thought I would be scared of the actual moment. I think that Ed's biological children were afraid to hold his hand and stroke his face. I had the same feeling when he first went into the hospital and I saw him but I soon realized that he was still the same person he had always been and I knew he needed to feel my mother and I's presence. I have so much respect for the people who work at Hospice. They are such an amazing organization. He wished to be creamated and we will scatter his ashed at my parents lake house in NC in the spring. The memoral is Friday. We've been busy getting it organized and the funeral director had a wonderful idea of having white balloons for us to write messages on and after the service we will release them into the heavens. I had never thought of something like that but I think it's a beautiful idea. Much Love, Tina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 4, 2008 Report Share Posted December 4, 2008 I'm angry too, but it won't help him now. Yes, it helps to have people and not everyone understands, but I'm finding out just how many people there are out there like us and that helps. It's funny, but I really listen to alcohol advertisements now and wish I could make up my own, using their slogans, with the reality of what happens when alcohol is abused. I think it would make a great campaign for MADD and people like us. Everyone knows the term Cirrhosis, but not many know what the disease actually does. It isn't instant death, but a slow, deterioration of body, mind, but hopefully, not spirit. That is the thing we have to fight hardest to save. From: Tina <beadin_beagle@ yahoo.com> Subject: My father's passing To: livercirrhosissuppo rtyahoogroups (DOT) com Date: Tuesday, December 2, 2008, 10:22 AM I am finally getting around to catch up with all of you. As you know, my dad was transferred to Hospice last Monday. Since Sunday, the 23rd, he had been unresponsive and seemed comatose. On Tuesday, the let me bring my parents 2 miniature dachshunds to visit. He was still unresponsive, but I think he knew they were there. That afternoon, his mother called and spoke to him, as did my 3 year old daughter. That evening, his 3 biological children and one of his grand-daughters arrived from Mississippi & Tennessee. They visited while and his 2 sons spent the night at Hospice. I went home to my family to respect their time with him. Wednesday morning, my mom called and told me the nurses felt it would be only a few hours until his passing. His body temperature and blood pressure were dropping, his feet and legs were so cold and his feet had turned purple and his legs were mottled. I got to Hospice around 9am and his children arrived around 9:45. For the first time in years my mom, Ed's sister, myself, his 3 other children and grand-daughter were all in the room together. We sat telling stories of the old days as my mom and I held his hands. She and I both saw him take his last breath and called for the nurses. He still had a faint heart beats and we all held him and cried. My husband and daughter and my dad's business partner arrived about 5 minutes later and were able to say their good-byes as well. It was so peaceful and a moment I will never forget. It was very surreal for me as I have never had to deal with death and I thought I would be scared of the actual moment. I think that Ed's biological children were afraid to hold his hand and stroke his face. I had the same feeling when he first went into the hospital and I saw him but I soon realized that he was still the same person he had always been and I knew he needed to feel my mother and I's presence. I have so much respect for the people who work at Hospice. They are such an amazing organization. He wished to be creamated and we will scatter his ashed at my parents lake house in NC in the spring. The memoral is Friday. We've been busy getting it organized and the funeral director had a wonderful idea of having white balloons for us to write messages on and after the service we will release them into the heavens. I had never thought of something like that but I think it's a beautiful idea. Much Love, Tina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 4, 2008 Report Share Posted December 4, 2008 Hi Kim, I am so sorry for what you're going through. I know all too well the pain you're feeling. Thank you for posting and letting me know you're there for me. It is so sad that so many of us are facing this, but at least we can face it together. I'm praying for you and your husband and your son, Kim. I'm always here if you ever need me. Hugs........... Diane ________________________________ To: livercirrhosissupport Sent: Thursday, December 4, 2008 8:29:51 AM Subject: Re: My father's passing Hello, everyone. I know what you're going through too. At this point, my husband is taking care of himself, but his starting this too late is what got him where he is. Everyone tried for years to get him to stop. When I met him, he was 9 months out from being shot (wrong place wrong time), and he was drinking heavily. He said it was situational and that he would quit one day. He even promised to quit when our son was born, but did not. He later had two back surgeries, and sank into himself even further. Alcoholism is a very selfish disease. Everything has always been about him. He leaves the t.v. on all night, lights on, runs the electric heaters we have instead of putting cloths on. It really pisses me off, but being angry doesn't make anything any better either. He wouldn't tell me what the doctor said early this year, when I had finally gotten him to go to the doc. He " didn't believe him " when he told him if he didn't stop drinking he would die, but wouldn't even share his disbelief with me. I've been watching this man kill himself for years and feeling helpless. Now, I have a four-year-old and I'm going to be a single mother AGAIN! This is not what I wanted to do with my life, that's for sure. I've given everything I have to take care of this man. The whole situation breaks my heat, because we could have had a good life together, but he decided to crawl into a bottle instead of getting help. Now, we're all going to suffer the rest of our lives for it. Yes, this whole thing sucks, but don't be angry with yourself or think you're a bad person for being sick of it all. Just hang in there and know you're not alone. Kim From: Tina <beadin_beagle@ yahoo.com> Subject: My father's passing To: livercirrhosissuppo rtyahoogroups (DOT) com Date: Tuesday, December 2, 2008, 10:22 AM I am finally getting around to catch up with all of you. As you know, my dad was transferred to Hospice last Monday. Since Sunday, the 23rd, he had been unresponsive and seemed comatose. On Tuesday, the let me bring my parents 2 miniature dachshunds to visit. He was still unresponsive, but I think he knew they were there. That afternoon, his mother called and spoke to him, as did my 3 year old daughter. That evening, his 3 biological children and one of his grand-daughters arrived from Mississippi & Tennessee. They visited while and his 2 sons spent the night at Hospice. I went home to my family to respect their time with him. Wednesday morning, my mom called and told me the nurses felt it would be only a few hours until his passing. His body temperature and blood pressure were dropping, his feet and legs were so cold and his feet had turned purple and his legs were mottled. I got to Hospice around 9am and his children arrived around 9:45. For the first time in years my mom, Ed's sister, myself, his 3 other children and grand-daughter were all in the room together. We sat telling stories of the old days as my mom and I held his hands. She and I both saw him take his last breath and called for the nurses. He still had a faint heart beats and we all held him and cried. My husband and daughter and my dad's business partner arrived about 5 minutes later and were able to say their good-byes as well. It was so peaceful and a moment I will never forget. It was very surreal for me as I have never had to deal with death and I thought I would be scared of the actual moment. I think that Ed's biological children were afraid to hold his hand and stroke his face. I had the same feeling when he first went into the hospital and I saw him but I soon realized that he was still the same person he had always been and I knew he needed to feel my mother and I's presence. I have so much respect for the people who work at Hospice. They are such an amazing organization. He wished to be creamated and we will scatter his ashed at my parents lake house in NC in the spring. The memoral is Friday. We've been busy getting it organized and the funeral director had a wonderful idea of having white balloons for us to write messages on and after the service we will release them into the heavens. I had never thought of something like that but I think it's a beautiful idea. Much Love, Tina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 4, 2008 Report Share Posted December 4, 2008 ahh diane honey those thoughts dont make you a terrible anything, all us caregivers have had them, bobby glen infuriates me with resceduling his appts. and not going to the dr. when i think he should,i commend the people who are sick and are pro active in there recovery, our hubbys dont seem to be those people lol.mine doesnt seem to think its real i guess. but i made him an appt. for his birthdasy lol its actually on his birthday teehee, he does know we need to get the hep treatment started and soon,hes worried it will make him to sick to work but it has to be done. i did lose my compassion one day when he yet again didnt keep his appt. and i said some horrable stuff like i didnt sing on to wiping your ass and watching you die. i know it was bad but i was at my limit and i lost it. actually i did sign onto ,in sickness and health but like i told him i need alittle help here. so i understand both you and jill, lets just pray for our guys to give us alittle help and to keep us strong enough to do what we have to do.and you can ramble all you want teehee ,hey we are girls its what we do lol lol. i love you my friend have a great day and take care of YOU too. much love barby > > From: Tina <beadin_beagle@ yahoo.com> > Subject: My father's passing > To: livercirrhosissuppo rtyahoogroups (DOT) com > Date: Tuesday, December 2, 2008, 10:22 AM > > I am finally getting around to catch up with all of you. > > As you know, my dad was transferred to Hospice last Monday. Since Sunday, > the 23rd, he had been unresponsive and seemed comatose. > > On Tuesday, the let me bring my parents 2 miniature dachshunds to visit. He > was still unresponsive, but I think he knew they were there. That > afternoon, his mother called and spoke to him, as did my 3 year old > daughter. > > That evening, his 3 biological children and one of his grand- daughters > arrived from Mississippi & Tennessee. They visited while and his 2 sons > spent the night at Hospice. I went home to my family to respect their time > with him. > > Wednesday morning, my mom called and told me the nurses felt it would be > only a few hours until his passing. His body temperature and blood pressure > were dropping, his feet and legs were so cold and his feet had turned purple > and his legs were mottled. I got to Hospice around 9am and his children > arrived around 9:45. For the first time in years my mom, Ed's sister, > myself, his 3 other children and grand-daughter were all in the room > together. We sat telling stories of the old days as my mom and I held his > hands. She and I both saw him take his last breath and called for the > nurses. He still had a faint heart beats and we all held him and cried. My > husband and daughter and my dad's business partner arrived about 5 minutes > later and were able to say their good-byes as well. > > It was so peaceful and a moment I will never forget. It was very surreal > for me as I have never had to deal with death and I thought I would be > scared of the actual moment. I think that Ed's biological children were > afraid to hold his hand and stroke his face. I had the same feeling when he > first went into the hospital and I saw him but I soon realized that he was > still the same person he had always been and I knew he needed to feel my > mother and I's presence. > > I have so much respect for the people who work at Hospice. They are such an > amazing organization. > > He wished to be creamated and we will scatter his ashed at my parents lake > house in NC in the spring. > > The memoral is Friday. We've been busy getting it organized and the funeral > director had a wonderful idea of having white balloons for us to write > messages on and after the service we will release them into the heavens. I > had never thought of something like that but I think it's a beautiful idea. > > Much Love, > Tina > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 4, 2008 Report Share Posted December 4, 2008 Thank you so much. I went to get a therapis yesterday, only to find out that the co-pay was 2.5x what I thought it was. They are a " specialist " so it's more. I broke down crying right there. I said, " I can't afford to take care of myself. I have to take care of everyone else. " When I explained a bit of my story, two women in the room offered me help. One offered me Christmas presents for my son. She was going to clean out her son's old toys and offered them to me. I gladly accepted and picked them up last night. She was right. They're in great shape and he will love them. The other woman got me a box of food and said she'd help me to find help as well. I was blessed by two living Angels and I cried for half the day. God was watching over us. I know it. I was meant to be there at that time, with those women. I did end up finding out that I can go to a private practice where they would accept the $10. I can afford. It was a win, win day, finally. Thank you God for bringing us together! Kim From: Tina <beadin_beagle@ yahoo.com> Subject: My father's passing To: livercirrhosissuppo rtyahoogroups (DOT) com Date: Tuesday, December 2, 2008, 10:22 AM I am finally getting around to catch up with all of you. As you know, my dad was transferred to Hospice last Monday. Since Sunday, the 23rd, he had been unresponsive and seemed comatose. On Tuesday, the let me bring my parents 2 miniature dachshunds to visit. He was still unresponsive, but I think he knew they were there. That afternoon, his mother called and spoke to him, as did my 3 year old daughter. That evening, his 3 biological children and one of his grand-daughters arrived from Mississippi & Tennessee. They visited while and his 2 sons spent the night at Hospice. I went home to my family to respect their time with him. Wednesday morning, my mom called and told me the nurses felt it would be only a few hours until his passing. His body temperature and blood pressure were dropping, his feet and legs were so cold and his feet had turned purple and his legs were mottled. I got to Hospice around 9am and his children arrived around 9:45. For the first time in years my mom, Ed's sister, myself, his 3 other children and grand-daughter were all in the room together. We sat telling stories of the old days as my mom and I held his hands. She and I both saw him take his last breath and called for the nurses. He still had a faint heart beats and we all held him and cried. My husband and daughter and my dad's business partner arrived about 5 minutes later and were able to say their good-byes as well. It was so peaceful and a moment I will never forget. It was very surreal for me as I have never had to deal with death and I thought I would be scared of the actual moment. I think that Ed's biological children were afraid to hold his hand and stroke his face. I had the same feeling when he first went into the hospital and I saw him but I soon realized that he was still the same person he had always been and I knew he needed to feel my mother and I's presence. I have so much respect for the people who work at Hospice. They are such an amazing organization. He wished to be creamated and we will scatter his ashed at my parents lake house in NC in the spring. The memoral is Friday. We've been busy getting it organized and the funeral director had a wonderful idea of having white balloons for us to write messages on and after the service we will release them into the heavens. I had never thought of something like that but I think it's a beautiful idea. Much Love, Tina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 4, 2008 Report Share Posted December 4, 2008 Thanks Barby! Believe me, Terry and I have had that 'didn't sign on to wipe your ass' conversation many, many times! Of course, it's just frustration and we both understand that, but it can get to be overwhelming at times. As I said to Kim, I am so sorry that you have to be going through this, but I am so thankful to have all of you to lean on. That old song is just so right 'we all need somebody to lean on'! Thanks for letting me lean on you, Barby! Luv ya sweetie! Hugs.......... Diane ________________________________ To: livercirrhosissupport Sent: Thursday, December 4, 2008 9:17:17 AM Subject: Re: My father's passing ahh diane honey those thoughts dont make you a terrible anything, all us caregivers have had them, bobby glen infuriates me with resceduling his appts. and not going to the dr. when i think he should,i commend the people who are sick and are pro active in there recovery, our hubbys dont seem to be those people lol.mine doesnt seem to think its real i guess. but i made him an appt. for his birthdasy lol its actually on his birthday teehee, he does know we need to get the hep treatment started and soon,hes worried it will make him to sick to work but it has to be done. i did lose my compassion one day when he yet again didnt keep his appt. and i said some horrable stuff like i didnt sing on to wiping your ass and watching you die. i know it was bad but i was at my limit and i lost it. actually i did sign onto ,in sickness and health but like i told him i need alittle help here. so i understand both you and jill, lets just pray for our guys to give us alittle help and to keep us strong enough to do what we have to do.and you can ramble all you want teehee ,hey we are girls its what we do lol lol. i love you my friend have a great day and take care of YOU too. much love barby > > From: Tina <beadin_beagle@ yahoo.com> > Subject: My father's passing > To: livercirrhosissuppo rtyahoogroups (DOT) com > Date: Tuesday, December 2, 2008, 10:22 AM > > I am finally getting around to catch up with all of you. > > As you know, my dad was transferred to Hospice last Monday. Since Sunday, > the 23rd, he had been unresponsive and seemed comatose. > > On Tuesday, the let me bring my parents 2 miniature dachshunds to visit. He > was still unresponsive, but I think he knew they were there. That > afternoon, his mother called and spoke to him, as did my 3 year old > daughter. > > That evening, his 3 biological children and one of his grand- daughters > arrived from Mississippi & Tennessee. They visited while and his 2 sons > spent the night at Hospice. I went home to my family to respect their time > with him. > > Wednesday morning, my mom called and told me the nurses felt it would be > only a few hours until his passing. His body temperature and blood pressure > were dropping, his feet and legs were so cold and his feet had turned purple > and his legs were mottled. I got to Hospice around 9am and his children > arrived around 9:45. For the first time in years my mom, Ed's sister, > myself, his 3 other children and grand-daughter were all in the room > together. We sat telling stories of the old days as my mom and I held his > hands. She and I both saw him take his last breath and called for the > nurses. He still had a faint heart beats and we all held him and cried. My > husband and daughter and my dad's business partner arrived about 5 minutes > later and were able to say their good-byes as well. > > It was so peaceful and a moment I will never forget. It was very surreal > for me as I have never had to deal with death and I thought I would be > scared of the actual moment. I think that Ed's biological children were > afraid to hold his hand and stroke his face. I had the same feeling when he > first went into the hospital and I saw him but I soon realized that he was > still the same person he had always been and I knew he needed to feel my > mother and I's presence. > > I have so much respect for the people who work at Hospice. They are such an > amazing organization. > > He wished to be creamated and we will scatter his ashed at my parents lake > house in NC in the spring. > > The memoral is Friday. We've been busy getting it organized and the funeral > director had a wonderful idea of having white balloons for us to write > messages on and after the service we will release them into the heavens. I > had never thought of something like that but I think it's a beautiful idea. > > Much Love, > Tina > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 4, 2008 Report Share Posted December 4, 2008 Praise the Lord, Kim! I am so thankful you were directed by the Lord to the help you needed! Thank you for sharing your wonderful news with all of us! I luv ya sweetie and I'm praying for you! Love and hugs............. Diane ________________________________ To: livercirrhosissupport Sent: Thursday, December 4, 2008 9:25:46 AM Subject: Re: My father's passing Thank you so much. I went to get a therapis yesterday, only to find out that the co-pay was 2.5x what I thought it was. They are a " specialist " so it's more. I broke down crying right there. I said, " I can't afford to take care of myself. I have to take care of everyone else. " When I explained a bit of my story, two women in the room offered me help. One offered me Christmas presents for my son. She was going to clean out her son's old toys and offered them to me. I gladly accepted and picked them up last night. She was right. They're in great shape and he will love them. The other woman got me a box of food and said she'd help me to find help as well. I was blessed by two living Angels and I cried for half the day. God was watching over us. I know it. I was meant to be there at that time, with those women. I did end up finding out that I can go to a private practice where they would accept the $10. I can afford. It was a win, win day, finally. Thank you God for bringing us together! Kim From: Tina <beadin_beagle@ yahoo.com> Subject: My father's passing To: livercirrhosissuppo rtyahoogroups (DOT) com Date: Tuesday, December 2, 2008, 10:22 AM I am finally getting around to catch up with all of you. As you know, my dad was transferred to Hospice last Monday. Since Sunday, the 23rd, he had been unresponsive and seemed comatose. On Tuesday, the let me bring my parents 2 miniature dachshunds to visit. He was still unresponsive, but I think he knew they were there. That afternoon, his mother called and spoke to him, as did my 3 year old daughter. That evening, his 3 biological children and one of his grand-daughters arrived from Mississippi & Tennessee. They visited while and his 2 sons spent the night at Hospice. I went home to my family to respect their time with him. Wednesday morning, my mom called and told me the nurses felt it would be only a few hours until his passing. His body temperature and blood pressure were dropping, his feet and legs were so cold and his feet had turned purple and his legs were mottled. I got to Hospice around 9am and his children arrived around 9:45. For the first time in years my mom, Ed's sister, myself, his 3 other children and grand-daughter were all in the room together. We sat telling stories of the old days as my mom and I held his hands. She and I both saw him take his last breath and called for the nurses. He still had a faint heart beats and we all held him and cried. My husband and daughter and my dad's business partner arrived about 5 minutes later and were able to say their good-byes as well. It was so peaceful and a moment I will never forget. It was very surreal for me as I have never had to deal with death and I thought I would be scared of the actual moment. I think that Ed's biological children were afraid to hold his hand and stroke his face. I had the same feeling when he first went into the hospital and I saw him but I soon realized that he was still the same person he had always been and I knew he needed to feel my mother and I's presence. I have so much respect for the people who work at Hospice. They are such an amazing organization. He wished to be creamated and we will scatter his ashed at my parents lake house in NC in the spring. The memoral is Friday. We've been busy getting it organized and the funeral director had a wonderful idea of having white balloons for us to write messages on and after the service we will release them into the heavens. I had never thought of something like that but I think it's a beautiful idea. Much Love, Tina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 4, 2008 Report Share Posted December 4, 2008 I feel the same way with Diabetes and high cholesterol....people don't realize it can damage your liver. When we have told some people w that Ed has cirrhosis, their first words are.... " But he doesn't drink " . Oh that's frustrsting. Love,Jill We don't remember days, we remember moments. Life is not measured by the breaths we take,but by the moments that take our breath away. From: Tina <beadin_beagle@ yahoo.com> Subject: My father's passing To: livercirrhosissuppo rtyahoogroups (DOT) com Date: Tuesday, December 2, 2008, 10:22 AM I am finally getting around to catch up with all of you. As you know, my dad was transferred to Hospice last Monday. Since Sunday, the 23rd, he had been unresponsive and seemed comatose. On Tuesday, the let me bring my parents 2 miniature dachshunds to visit. He was still unresponsive, but I think he knew they were there. That afternoon, his mother called and spoke to him, as did my 3 year old daughter. That evening, his 3 biological children and one of his grand-daughters arrived from Mississippi & Tennessee. They visited while and his 2 sons spent the night at Hospice. I went home to my family to respect their time with him. Wednesday morning, my mom called and told me the nurses felt it would be only a few hours until his passing. His body temperature and blood pressure were dropping, his feet and legs were so cold and his feet had turned purple and his legs were mottled. I got to Hospice around 9am and his children arrived around 9:45. For the first time in years my mom, Ed's sister, myself, his 3 other children and grand-daughter were all in the room together. We sat telling stories of the old days as my mom and I held his hands. She and I both saw him take his last breath and called for the nurses. He still had a faint heart beats and we all held him and cried. My husband and daughter and my dad's business partner arrived about 5 minutes later and were able to say their good-byes as well. It was so peaceful and a moment I will never forget. It was very surreal for me as I have never had to deal with death and I thought I would be scared of the actual moment. I think that Ed's biological children were afraid to hold his hand and stroke his face. I had the same feeling when he first went into the hospital and I saw him but I soon realized that he was still the same person he had always been and I knew he needed to feel my mother and I's presence. I have so much respect for the people who work at Hospice. They are such an amazing organization. He wished to be creamated and we will scatter his ashed at my parents lake house in NC in the spring. The memoral is Friday. We've been busy getting it organized and the funeral director had a wonderful idea of having white balloons for us to write messages on and after the service we will release them into the heavens. I had never thought of something like that but I think it's a beautiful idea. Much Love, Tina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 4, 2008 Report Share Posted December 4, 2008 Thanks. My husband's visit to the doc today amounted to another co-pay and no information. He said he hates it when doctors won't answer your questions. He was pissed when he came out, because he had been told this doc would take the fluid out of his scrotum, which is extremely painful. All he said was, " go see the liver clinic. I can't touch you until they get rid of the fluid. " Why didn't someone tell us which doc to see first? Just more money for them! They sure can suck! Kim From: Tina <beadin_beagle@ yahoo.com> Subject: My father's passing To: livercirrhosissuppo rtyahoogroups (DOT) com Date: Tuesday, December 2, 2008, 10:22 AM I am finally getting around to catch up with all of you. As you know, my dad was transferred to Hospice last Monday. Since Sunday, the 23rd, he had been unresponsive and seemed comatose. On Tuesday, the let me bring my parents 2 miniature dachshunds to visit. He was still unresponsive, but I think he knew they were there. That afternoon, his mother called and spoke to him, as did my 3 year old daughter. That evening, his 3 biological children and one of his grand-daughters arrived from Mississippi & Tennessee. They visited while and his 2 sons spent the night at Hospice. I went home to my family to respect their time with him. Wednesday morning, my mom called and told me the nurses felt it would be only a few hours until his passing. His body temperature and blood pressure were dropping, his feet and legs were so cold and his feet had turned purple and his legs were mottled. I got to Hospice around 9am and his children arrived around 9:45. For the first time in years my mom, Ed's sister, myself, his 3 other children and grand-daughter were all in the room together. We sat telling stories of the old days as my mom and I held his hands. She and I both saw him take his last breath and called for the nurses. He still had a faint heart beats and we all held him and cried. My husband and daughter and my dad's business partner arrived about 5 minutes later and were able to say their good-byes as well. It was so peaceful and a moment I will never forget. It was very surreal for me as I have never had to deal with death and I thought I would be scared of the actual moment. I think that Ed's biological children were afraid to hold his hand and stroke his face. I had the same feeling when he first went into the hospital and I saw him but I soon realized that he was still the same person he had always been and I knew he needed to feel my mother and I's presence. I have so much respect for the people who work at Hospice. They are such an amazing organization. He wished to be creamated and we will scatter his ashed at my parents lake house in NC in the spring. The memoral is Friday. We've been busy getting it organized and the funeral director had a wonderful idea of having white balloons for us to write messages on and after the service we will release them into the heavens. I had never thought of something like that but I think it's a beautiful idea. Much Love, Tina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 4, 2008 Report Share Posted December 4, 2008 Hang in there Jill. I know my mom went through so much of what you are feeling. Tina _____ From: livercirrhosissupport [mailto:livercirrhosissupport ] On Behalf Of Jill Sent: Tuesday, December 02, 2008 10:40 PM To: livercirrhosissupport Subject: Re: My father's passing He upsets me so much. He says he doesn't need to go to see a doc.. And he's been snapping at me lately....which is really unlike him. I'm beginning to feel that he is just willing to die. I'll tell you, I don't know if I can live like this. Someone give me the pep talk to tell me I can stick this out. This man won't help himself...won't learn about his disease...won't admit that his blood sugars will go whacky when he's sick...won't admit that a fever in someone with cirrhosis can mean an infection. I've told him all these things, but he doesn't want to hear any of it. I can't do it for him. That's what landed him in this mess....I couldn't control his diabetes for him or his high cholesterol and high triglycerides and he wouldn't take it seriously on his own. I have my own medical issues, which I take care of. I am just so tired. and very very depressed. Love,Jill We don't remember days, we remember moments. Life is not measured by the breaths we take,but by the moments that take our breath away. From: Tina <beadin_beagle@ yahoo.com> Subject: My father's passing To: livercirrhosissuppo rtyahoogroups (DOT) com Date: Tuesday, December 2, 2008, 10:22 AM I am finally getting around to catch up with all of you. As you know, my dad was transferred to Hospice last Monday. Since Sunday, the 23rd, he had been unresponsive and seemed comatose. On Tuesday, the let me bring my parents 2 miniature dachshunds to visit. He was still unresponsive, but I think he knew they were there. That afternoon, his mother called and spoke to him, as did my 3 year old daughter. That evening, his 3 biological children and one of his grand-daughters arrived from Mississippi & Tennessee. They visited while and his 2 sons spent the night at Hospice. I went home to my family to respect their time with him. Wednesday morning, my mom called and told me the nurses felt it would be only a few hours until his passing. His body temperature and blood pressure were dropping, his feet and legs were so cold and his feet had turned purple and his legs were mottled. I got to Hospice around 9am and his children arrived around 9:45. For the first time in years my mom, Ed's sister, myself, his 3 other children and grand-daughter were all in the room together. We sat telling stories of the old days as my mom and I held his hands. She and I both saw him take his last breath and called for the nurses. He still had a faint heart beats and we all held him and cried. My husband and daughter and my dad's business partner arrived about 5 minutes later and were able to say their good-byes as well. It was so peaceful and a moment I will never forget. It was very surreal for me as I have never had to deal with death and I thought I would be scared of the actual moment. I think that Ed's biological children were afraid to hold his hand and stroke his face. I had the same feeling when he first went into the hospital and I saw him but I soon realized that he was still the same person he had always been and I knew he needed to feel my mother and I's presence. I have so much respect for the people who work at Hospice. They are such an amazing organization. He wished to be creamated and we will scatter his ashed at my parents lake house in NC in the spring. The memoral is Friday. We've been busy getting it organized and the funeral director had a wonderful idea of having white balloons for us to write messages on and after the service we will release them into the heavens. I had never thought of something like that but I think it's a beautiful idea. Much Love, Tina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 4, 2008 Report Share Posted December 4, 2008 sorry about your hubbys appt. kim, i do know how madding it is to pay the co-pay and walk out feeling raped, i think no info no money but they dont have my same opion lol. good luck honey, so where are ya all going for the holidays this year? you could just get a little charlie brown tree and decorate it teehee, i love charlie brown and the christmas shows ,waiting for rudolph next week teehee, seems i am just a kid at heart much love barby > > > > From: Tina <beadin_beagle@ yahoo.com> > > Subject: My father's passing > > To: livercirrhosissuppo rtyahoogroups (DOT) com > > Date: Tuesday, December 2, 2008, 10:22 AM > > > > I am finally getting around to catch up with all of you. > > > > As you know, my dad was transferred to Hospice last Monday. Since Sunday, > > the 23rd, he had been unresponsive and seemed comatose. > > > > On Tuesday, the let me bring my parents 2 miniature dachshunds to visit. He > > was still unresponsive, but I think he knew they were there. That > > afternoon, his mother called and spoke to him, as did my 3 year old > > daughter. > > > > That evening, his 3 biological children and one of his grand- daughters > > arrived from Mississippi & Tennessee. They visited while and his 2 sons > > spent the night at Hospice. I went home to my family to respect their time > > with him. > > > > Wednesday morning, my mom called and told me the nurses felt it would be > > only a few hours until his passing. His body temperature and blood pressure > > were dropping, his feet and legs were so cold and his feet had turned purple > > and his legs were mottled. I got to Hospice around 9am and his children > > arrived around 9:45. For the first time in years my mom, Ed's sister, > > myself, his 3 other children and grand-daughter were all in the room > > together. We sat telling stories of the old days as my mom and I held his > > hands. She and I both saw him take his last breath and called for the > > nurses. He still had a faint heart beats and we all held him and cried. My > > husband and daughter and my dad's business partner arrived about 5 minutes > > later and were able to say their good-byes as well. > > > > It was so peaceful and a moment I will never forget. It was very surreal > > for me as I have never had to deal with death and I thought I would be > > scared of the actual moment. I think that Ed's biological children were > > afraid to hold his hand and stroke his face. I had the same feeling when he > > first went into the hospital and I saw him but I soon realized that he was > > still the same person he had always been and I knew he needed to feel my > > mother and I's presence. > > > > I have so much respect for the people who work at Hospice. They are such an > > amazing organization. > > > > He wished to be creamated and we will scatter his ashed at my parents lake > > house in NC in the spring. > > > > The memoral is Friday. We've been busy getting it organized and the funeral > > director had a wonderful idea of having white balloons for us to write > > messages on and after the service we will release them into the heavens. I > > had never thought of something like that but I think it's a beautiful idea. > > > > Much Love, > > Tina > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 4, 2008 Report Share Posted December 4, 2008 Yeah, we had many of those over the years. My mother would send my father out into the woods, and that's what he did for a living, to cut a Christmas tree and he'd come home with the saddest looking thing. They do not grow the same in the woods when they aren't pruned. We're going to NH., if all goes as planned. Thanksgiving didn't, that's for sure. Subject: Re: My father's passing To: livercirrhosissupport Date: Thursday, December 4, 2008, 2:31 PM sorry about your hubbys appt. kim, i do know how madding it is to pay the co-pay and walk out feeling raped, i think no info no money but they dont have my same opion lol. good luck honey, so where are ya all going for the holidays this year? you could just get a little charlie brown tree and decorate it teehee, i love charlie brown and the christmas shows ,waiting for rudolph next week teehee, seems i am just a kid at heart much love barby > > > > From: Tina <beadin_beagle@ yahoo.com> > > Subject: My father's passing > > To: livercirrhosissuppo rtyahoogroups (DOT) com > > Date: Tuesday, December 2, 2008, 10:22 AM > > > > I am finally getting around to catch up with all of you. > > > > As you know, my dad was transferred to Hospice last Monday. Since Sunday, > > the 23rd, he had been unresponsive and seemed comatose. > > > > On Tuesday, the let me bring my parents 2 miniature dachshunds to visit. He > > was still unresponsive, but I think he knew they were there. That > > afternoon, his mother called and spoke to him, as did my 3 year old > > daughter. > > > > That evening, his 3 biological children and one of his grand- daughters > > arrived from Mississippi & Tennessee. They visited while and his 2 sons > > spent the night at Hospice. I went home to my family to respect their time > > with him. > > > > Wednesday morning, my mom called and told me the nurses felt it would be > > only a few hours until his passing. His body temperature and blood pressure > > were dropping, his feet and legs were so cold and his feet had turned purple > > and his legs were mottled. I got to Hospice around 9am and his children > > arrived around 9:45. For the first time in years my mom, Ed's sister, > > myself, his 3 other children and grand-daughter were all in the room > > together. We sat telling stories of the old days as my mom and I held his > > hands. She and I both saw him take his last breath and called for the > > nurses. He still had a faint heart beats and we all held him and cried. My > > husband and daughter and my dad's business partner arrived about 5 minutes > > later and were able to say their good-byes as well. > > > > It was so peaceful and a moment I will never forget. It was very surreal > > for me as I have never had to deal with death and I thought I would be > > scared of the actual moment. I think that Ed's biological children were > > afraid to hold his hand and stroke his face. I had the same feeling when he > > first went into the hospital and I saw him but I soon realized that he was > > still the same person he had always been and I knew he needed to feel my > > mother and I's presence. > > > > I have so much respect for the people who work at Hospice. They are such an > > amazing organization. > > > > He wished to be creamated and we will scatter his ashed at my parents lake > > house in NC in the spring. > > > > The memoral is Friday. We've been busy getting it organized and the funeral > > director had a wonderful idea of having white balloons for us to write > > messages on and after the service we will release them into the heavens. I > > had never thought of something like that but I think it's a beautiful idea. > > > > Much Love, > > Tina > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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