Re: A little story about me

[Guest guest]

   Thanks for opening up about yourself. I can't tell you how much it really

helped me. That's how Ed and I are with each other...we can look at each other

and know what the other is thinking. I cry so easily now.....thinking what will

I do without him. I can only imagine how afraid and frustrated he is.   Also,

thanks for your post about caregiver advice....sometimes it's hard to take

advive we know we really need. And I needed to hear it to put things in

perspective right now. So thanks, Mom   : )  My mom's gone...she can't tell me

these things!  I know what you mean about men...men are fixers, women are

nurturers.

   I might not say things very well.....but again, thanks for opening up. I felt

like it was meant for me and I love you for that. Ed and I will be

okay...whatever happens.

                                       

                                    Love,Jill

 

We don't remember days, we remember moments.

Life is not measured by the breaths we take,but by the moments that take our

breath away.

From: abijann <no_reply >

Subject: A little story about me

To: livercirrhosissupport

Date: Wednesday, December 3, 2008, 6:47 PM

I was with my husband the entire time he was in the hospital.

I don't cry easily or get worked up easily. The nurses did

not mind me being there and I was with him through all he

went through. There were a number of times he came very

close to dying....This was even after the transplant, the

pneumonia and other things. They had even come in and

told us that he might have to have another transplant cause

he was developing too many fevers with this one and they

thought it might be rejection.

I seem to be fine as long as I was right with him. As long

as I knew he was there with me...it comforted me to know he

was okay. One evening, they decided to take him for testing.

I was standing in his hospital room, looking out the window

(we were on the 7th or 8th floor) when they came to get him.

I turned around and realized he wasn't there.

The hospital bed was empty and the room was fairly dark,

only the light from the TV and from the hallway was on.

Because of all we had gone through together with his illness...

suddenly, I felt completely alone. It was like a wave had

hit me and tears started to come to my eyes. I wiped them

and told myself I had to get out of that room and why was

I so upset...he was just going for a test. I never made

it very far when the head nurse came and stopped me. She

saw I was upset and took me back to his room. I didn't

want to go back in, but I did. She asked me what was

wrong...so I told her. As long as he was there with me,

I felt fine...but, if he is not here and I lose him...

I just don't know for sure what I will do. I don't want

to have to go on living without him.

My husband and I talk about all this. I let him know what

is on my mind. He may joke around about it...but at least

he knows how I feel. Don't be afraid to tell someone how

you feel about them and the situations that come up.

It might make you feel vulnerable.. .but, it will bring

you closer together when your words come from the heart.

It is hard to make them open up to you...for men have a

way of thinking it is macho to be strong...never show your

feeling or discuss them. They are on this, all logical

level. They are suppose to handle everything and fix

everything for you. Don't be afraid to cry... crying is

because you love someone so much and every tear proves

that love....whether it is male or female.

I never saw my own father ever cry till the day my mother died.

She was with him one minute and all of sudden fell backwards

on the bed and passed out. He got the ambulance and they took her to

the hospital. That night, just a few hours away, she had died of a

cerebral hemmorrhage. We never know how fast someone will leave

us...each moment is a blessing to be with your loved one...

preserve it in your heart.