Guest guest Posted June 6, 2008 Report Share Posted June 6, 2008 Dealing with this kind of condition leaves us two options: 1) endure the pain and torture, or 2) speak up and ask them to stop. Yes, speaking up can seem to be like " controlling others " but all you are doing is taking care of your own well being. Wouldn't the other person want you to be calm and not in pain around them or do they prefer you to be on edge and in pain all the time? Hmmmmm... wrote: > Wow, I never really thought of that before, as I, too, don't think > I'm a very controlling person. But I think that is a big part of > this. I HATE that I HAVE to sit there and endure it and suffer. It > seems so unfair and I want it to stop, but I can't make it without > getting belligerent with someone or even asking politely (which ends > us pissing them off too). > > I'll have to think about this some more. At work, I'm definitely NOT > a control freak. I want to be told what to do and then be left alone > to do it. But I like someone else to make the decisions. At home, > though, it's very different. I like to have things my way, organized, > at least in the kitchen and bathroom and living room. Because my > hubby snores, we sleep separately usually, so I keep my bedroom the > way I like it and vice versa. But I know I am pushy about having > things look nice in the common or public areas of the house. Not > perfect, but just not too messy or out of array. > > > > >> Hi Everyone, >> I've been a member for sometime now and mostly lurking and reading >> everyones posts. >> I've been doing some inner searching as to how I became this way. >> I remember as a child hating the noise my brother made brushing his >> teeth. Then I remember hating the way he played with his toy >> cars...like the sounds he made. He would never stop when I asked > him >> to. I flew into a rage everytime my dad lite up a cigarette (which >> thankfully he quite in 1979), probably because of me. Then the way >> my mom popped her gum...geesh. Then the crunching thing. It was >> only my immediate family though. It was only my immediate family >> until recently I've noticed it coming from all angles. I do > honestly >> believe for me that if I'm in a bad mood or somewhat irritable and >> someone makes a noise that bothers me...that is it. It is now a >> noise/person that sets it off. Even when I ask them to stop it >> appears to be funny for them and they continue. I've learnt to > deal >> with most of it, because eating is only a temporary noise and >> eventually everyone is done. My main problem is gum...the never >> ending wad of noise. Heck I think even if I was deaf it would > still >> irritate me just watching the way the person moves their mouth. I >> just wanna reach over and pull it out of their mouths. OK I might >> get bit. >> But in all honesty I'm beginning to think it is somewhat a control >> issue with me sometimes. It is something I can't control. Not > that >> I'm an overly controlling person, but it just seems if the radio is >> bugging me I turn it off...If the TV is bothering me I turn it off >> and so on, BUT with the noise issue coming from people I have >> absolutely no control. It is so frustrating... >> Anyways that is just my thoughts for this rainy Tuesday! >> Enjoy the silence~~~~~~~~~~~~~Vicki >> > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 6, 2008 Report Share Posted June 6, 2008 It's still iffy territory with some people, though. I'd LIKE to think that they'd want me to not be in pain around them, but so many people just do. not. get. it. My father, for example, after I asked him to stop doing some annoying little fidgeting thing that made noise one night, actually sent me to my room (I think I was a senior in high school), then followed me up to yell at me, because I was 'trying to force him to change who he is to suit my preferences.' And to this day, he still will not lift a finger to contain his sound.. . . Topper of that one? There are sounds that do the exact same thing to him, too. And he STILL doesn't care how he hurts me. To: Soundsensitivity From: mail@...Date: Fri, 6 Jun 2008 08:49:14 -0700Subject: Re: a control issue Dealing with this kind of condition leaves us two options: 1) endure the pain and torture, or 2) speak up and ask them to stop. Yes, speaking up can seem to be like "controlling others" but all you are doing is taking care of your own well being. Wouldn't the other person want you to be calm and not in pain around them or do they prefer you to be on edge and in pain all the time? Hmmmmm... wrote: > Wow, I never really thought of that before, as I, too, don't think > I'm a very controlling person. But I think that is a big part of > this. I HATE that I HAVE to sit there and endure it and suffer. It > seems so unfair and I want it to stop, but I can't make it without > getting belligerent with someone or even asking politely (which ends > us pissing them off too). > > I'll have to think about this some more. At work, I'm definitely NOT > a control freak. I want to be told what to do and then be left alone > to do it. But I like someone else to make the decisions. At home, > though, it's very different. I like to have things my way, organized, > at least in the kitchen and bathroom and living room. Because my > hubby snores, we sleep separately usually, so I keep my bedroom the > way I like it and vice versa. But I know I am pushy about having > things look nice in the common or public areas of the house. Not > perfect, but just not too messy or out of array. > > > > >> Hi Everyone, >> I've been a member for sometime now and mostly lurking and reading >> everyones posts. >> I've been doing some inner searching as to how I became this way. >> I remember as a child hating the noise my brother made brushing his >> teeth. Then I remember hating the way he played with his toy >> cars...like the sounds he made. He would never stop when I asked > him >> to. I flew into a rage everytime my dad lite up a cigarette (which >> thankfully he quite in 1979), probably because of me. Then the way >> my mom popped her gum...geesh. Then the crunching thing. It was >> only my immediate family though. It was only my immediate family >> until recently I've noticed it coming from all angles. I do > honestly >> believe for me that if I'm in a bad mood or somewhat irritable and >> someone makes a noise that bothers me...that is it. It is now a >> noise/person that sets it off. Even when I ask them to stop it >> appears to be funny for them and they continue. I've learnt to > deal >> with most of it, because eating is only a temporary noise and >> eventually everyone is done. My main problem is gum...the never >> ending wad of noise. Heck I think even if I was deaf it would > still >> irritate me just watching the way the person moves their mouth. I >> just wanna reach over and pull it out of their mouths. OK I might >> get bit. >> But in all honesty I'm beginning to think it is somewhat a control >> issue with me sometimes. It is something I can't control. Not > that >> I'm an overly controlling person, but it just seems if the radio is >> bugging me I turn it off...If the TV is bothering me I turn it off >> and so on, BUT with the noise issue coming from people I have >> absolutely no control. It is so frustrating... >> Anyways that is just my thoughts for this rainy Tuesday! >> Enjoy the silence~~~~~~~~~~~~~Vicki >> > > > Instantly invite friends from Facebook and other social networks to join you on Windows Live™ Messenger. Invite friends now! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 6, 2008 Report Share Posted June 6, 2008 I just don't get it either. My dad, I love him dearly, has never given me grief, but he thinks nothing of grinding up that hard candy or smacking on the candy.....grrrrr....even when he knows it drives me insane. I can't even give him examples that he can relate to....for that matter, I can't give anyone an example Oh well such is life. Guess we gotta "suck it up" like everyone without it seems to think we can do. Re: a control issue Dealing with this kind of condition leaves us two options: 1) endure the pain and torture, or 2) speak up and ask them to stop. Yes, speaking up can seem to be like "controlling others" but all you are doing is taking care of your own well being.Wouldn't the other person want you to be calm and not in pain around them or do they prefer you to be on edge and in pain all the time? Hmmmmm... wrote:> Wow, I never really thought of that before, as I, too, don't think > I'm a very controlling person. But I think that is a big part of > this. I HATE that I HAVE to sit there and endure it and suffer. It > seems so unfair and I want it to stop, but I can't make it without > getting belligerent with someone or even asking politely (which ends > us pissing them off too). > > I'll have to think about this some more. At work, I'm definitely NOT > a control freak. I want to be told what to do and then be left alone > to do it. But I like someone else to make the decisions. At home, > though, it's very different. I like to have things my way, organized, > at least in the kitchen and bathroom and living room. Because my > hubby snores, we sleep separately usually, so I keep my bedroom the > way I like it and vice versa. But I know I am pushy about having > things look nice in the common or public areas of the house. Not > perfect, but just not too messy or out of array.> > > > >> Hi Everyone,>> I've been a member for sometime now and mostly lurking and reading >> everyones posts.>> I've been doing some inner searching as to how I became this way. >> I remember as a child hating the noise my brother made brushing his >> teeth. Then I remember hating the way he played with his toy >> cars...like the sounds he made. He would never stop when I asked > him >> to. I flew into a rage everytime my dad lite up a cigarette (which >> thankfully he quite in 1979), probably because of me. Then the way >> my mom popped her gum...geesh. Then the crunching thing. It was >> only my immediate family though. It was only my immediate family >> until recently I've noticed it coming from all angles. I do > honestly >> believe for me that if I'm in a bad mood or somewhat irritable and >> someone makes a noise that bothers me...that is it. It is now a >> noise/person that sets it off. Even when I ask them to stop it >> appears to be funny for them and they continue. I've learnt to > deal >> with most of it, because eating is only a temporary noise and >> eventually everyone is done. My main problem is gum...the never >> ending wad of noise. Heck I think even if I was deaf it would > still >> irritate me just watching the way the person moves their mouth. I >> just wanna reach over and pull it out of their mouths. OK I might >> get bit.>> But in all honesty I'm beginning to think it is somewhat a control >> issue with me sometimes. It is something I can't control. Not > that >> I'm an overly controlling person, but it just seems if the radio is >> bugging me I turn it off...If the TV is bothering me I turn it off >> and so on, BUT with the noise issue coming from people I have >> absolutely no control. It is so frustrating. ..>> Anyways that is just my thoughts for this rainy Tuesday!>> Enjoy the silence~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~Vicki>>> > > Instantly invite friends from Facebook and other social networks to join you on Windows Live™ Messenger. Invite friends now! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 7, 2008 Report Share Posted June 7, 2008 I agree. It took a long time for my parents to stop reacting at me like I was a bad kid. I got in trouble a lot too when I acted out or asked them to stop. Even to this day I still get some negative reactions. And it is emotional draining to deal with. My father always scraped is feet across the rug/floor and it felt like sandpaper scraping up and down on my ear. Extremely painful. I asked him to stop and he got angry (frustrated) at me because of it. So I do understand what you are saying. I am sorry you have to live with that emotional pain too. It is not easy. To this day I have to wear headphones when I am around him, to block the sound of his feet scraping across the rug/floor. It is something he can't help doing because of his legs. I get frustrated when others tell me to stop making a sound or moving a certain way and expect me to do it, but when in reverse I ask them it is like the end of the world! Or I'm a bad person for asking. That really ticks me off! wrote: > It's still iffy territory with some people, though. I'd LIKE to think that they'd want me to not be in pain around them, but so many people just do. not. get. it. > My father, for example, after I asked him to stop doing some annoying little fidgeting thing that made noise one night, actually sent me to my room (I think I was a senior in high school), then followed me up to yell at me, because I was 'trying to force him to change who he is to suit my preferences.' And to this day, he still will not lift a finger to contain his sound. > > . . . Topper of that one? There are sounds that do the exact same thing to him, too. And he STILL doesn't care how he hurts me. > > To: Soundsensitivity > From: mail@... > Date: Fri, 6 Jun 2008 08:49:14 -0700 > Subject: Re: a control issue > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Dealing with this kind of condition leaves us two options: 1) endure the > > pain and torture, or 2) speak up and ask them to stop. Yes, speaking up > > can seem to be like " controlling others " but all you are doing is taking > > care of your own well being. > > > > Wouldn't the other person want you to be calm and not in pain around > > them or do they prefer you to be on edge and in pain all the time? Hmmmmm... > > > > wrote: > >> Wow, I never really thought of that before, as I, too, don't think > >> I'm a very controlling person. But I think that is a big part of > >> this. I HATE that I HAVE to sit there and endure it and suffer. It > >> seems so unfair and I want it to stop, but I can't make it without > >> getting belligerent with someone or even asking politely (which ends > >> us pissing them off too). > > >> I'll have to think about this some more. At work, I'm definitely NOT > >> a control freak. I want to be told what to do and then be left alone > >> to do it. But I like someone else to make the decisions. At home, > >> though, it's very different. I like to have things my way, organized, > >> at least in the kitchen and bathroom and living room. Because my > >> hubby snores, we sleep separately usually, so I keep my bedroom the > >> way I like it and vice versa. But I know I am pushy about having > >> things look nice in the common or public areas of the house. Not > >> perfect, but just not too messy or out of array. > > >> > > >> > >>> Hi Everyone, > >>> I've been a member for sometime now and mostly lurking and reading > >>> everyones posts. > >>> I've been doing some inner searching as to how I became this way. > >>> I remember as a child hating the noise my brother made brushing his > >>> teeth. Then I remember hating the way he played with his toy > >>> cars...like the sounds he made. He would never stop when I asked > >> him > >>> to. I flew into a rage everytime my dad lite up a cigarette (which > >>> thankfully he quite in 1979), probably because of me. Then the way > >>> my mom popped her gum...geesh. Then the crunching thing. It was > >>> only my immediate family though. It was only my immediate family > >>> until recently I've noticed it coming from all angles. I do > >> honestly > >>> believe for me that if I'm in a bad mood or somewhat irritable and > >>> someone makes a noise that bothers me...that is it. It is now a > >>> noise/person that sets it off. Even when I ask them to stop it > >>> appears to be funny for them and they continue. I've learnt to > >> deal > >>> with most of it, because eating is only a temporary noise and > >>> eventually everyone is done. My main problem is gum...the never > >>> ending wad of noise. Heck I think even if I was deaf it would > >> still > >>> irritate me just watching the way the person moves their mouth. I > >>> just wanna reach over and pull it out of their mouths. OK I might > >>> get bit. > >>> But in all honesty I'm beginning to think it is somewhat a control > >>> issue with me sometimes. It is something I can't control. Not > >> that > >>> I'm an overly controlling person, but it just seems if the radio is > >>> bugging me I turn it off...If the TV is bothering me I turn it off > >>> and so on, BUT with the noise issue coming from people I have > >>> absolutely no control. It is so frustrating... > >>> Anyways that is just my thoughts for this rainy Tuesday! > >>> Enjoy the silence~~~~~~~~~~~~~Vicki > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > _________________________________________________________________ > Instantly invite friends from Facebook and other social networks to join you on Windows Live™ Messenger. > https://www.invite2messenger.net/im/?source=TXT_EML_WLH_InviteFriends Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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