Re: just get over it

[Guest guest]

Been through the "Get over it" so many times now I just say "I am over it, when are you going to get over it"

Subject: just get over itTo: Soundsensitivity Received: Tuesday, 2 December, 2008, 6:55 AM

I just had to share with you something my best friend's new boyfriend asked me this weekend. He had given us a beautiful mantel clock which he found out we had to put away because of my 4S so I'm sure that really bothered him. Anyway, he asked me in regard to my 4S:"Why do you let the noises bother you? Why don't you just learn to deal with it?"This made me so mad, but I assumed he was trying to be helpful or at least try to understand. I made several attempts to explain, but he just didn't get it. I said, "Trust me, I don't CHOOSE to react with rage and panic when I hear perfectly normal sounds. It just happens. I try and breathe deeply, ignore them, etc, but nothign works. I wear headphones when I can or I leave the room, but whatever I do it disrupts either my activity or the people around me get upset. I don't expect to change anyone else. I just deal with it as best I

can."I think he feels we should put up his loud loud clock in the middle of our living room and therefore, make my OWN HOME a torture chamber, but that's not happening! After three days with it, I finally begged to move it somewhere else, but wherever we put it I could still hear it! Ugh, I really hate it when people have no clue and overly simplify something, making you feel like an idiot. I mean, like, Hey! Why didn't I think of that? Just don't let it bother me! Wow, what a revelation!Thanks for letting me vent. I just wondered how any of you respond to such stupid questions/suggestio ns.

Start your day with Yahoo!7 and win a Sony Bravia TV. Enter now.

[Guest guest]

I totally understand! Here is something I keep confronting here: we have a small house. The livingroom is probably about 25 feet down the hall from the bedroom if that far. We have a TV in the livingroom and one in the bedroom. My husband has this " thing " about turning the TV in the bedroom up too loud and then I can hear 2 TV's going at once! The competing noises drive me insane. Literally every day we go round and round about this. We have this cheap surround sound system in the bedroom and he will turn the bass way up! I am so tired of going around and around about it... every single day! He accuses me of intentionally pressing his buttons by mentioning it... HELLO? " I " am the ONE with sound sensitivity so how in the heck am I pushing HIS buttons?

Joan: your dr. phil poster child

Been through the " Get over it " so many times now I just say " I am over it, when are you going to get over it "

Subject: just get over itTo: Soundsensitivity

Received: Tuesday, 2 December, 2008, 6:55 AM

I just had to share with you something my best friend's new boyfriend asked me this weekend. He had given us a beautiful mantel clock which he found out we had to put away because of my 4S so I'm sure

that really bothered him. Anyway, he asked me in regard to my 4S: " Why do you let the noises bother you? Why don't you just learn to deal with it? " This made me so mad, but I assumed he was trying to be helpful or at

least try to understand. I made several attempts to explain, but he just didn't get it. I said, " Trust me, I don't CHOOSE to react with rage and panic when I hear perfectly normal sounds. It just

happens. I try and breathe deeply, ignore them, etc, but nothign works. I wear headphones when I can or I leave the room, but whatever I do it disrupts either my activity or the people around me get upset. I don't expect to change anyone else. I just deal with it as

best I

can. " I think he feels we should put up his loud loud clock in the middle of our living room and therefore, make my OWN HOME a torture chamber, but that's not happening! After three days with it, I finally begged

to move it somewhere else, but wherever we put it I could still hear it! Ugh, I really hate it when people have no clue and overly simplify something, making you feel like an idiot. I mean, like, Hey! Why didn't I think of that? Just don't let it bother me!

Wow, what a revelation!Thanks for letting me vent. I just wondered how any of you respond to such stupid questions/suggestio ns.

Start your day with Yahoo!7 and win a Sony Bravia TV. Enter now.

[Guest guest]

Sorry to hear about that.

I too react the same way you do, first with hidden rage at their

stuipidity or ignorance and then I question myself, maybe they are just trying

to help, but then when I explain like you do, they just don’t seem to get it,

care or even after all the expaling they still ask, “but cant you just ignore

it??”

Sigh, sometimes I really just want to hit them but I know better

for it, they just don’t understand because to them it is so normal and they

would have no clue.... Good luck

From: Soundsensitivity

[mailto:Soundsensitivity ] On Behalf Of

Sent: Tuesday, 2 December 2008 6:56 AM

To: Soundsensitivity

Subject: just get over it

I just had to share with you something my best

friend's new boyfriend

asked me this weekend. He had given us a beautiful mantel clock

which he found out we had to put away because of my 4S so I'm sure

that really bothered him. Anyway, he asked me in regard to my 4S:

" Why do you let the noises bother you? Why don't you just learn to

deal with it? "

This made me so mad, but I assumed he was trying to be helpful or at

least try to understand. I made several attempts to explain, but he

just didn't get it. I said, " Trust me, I don't CHOOSE to react with

rage and panic when I hear perfectly normal sounds. It just

happens. I try and breathe deeply, ignore them, etc, but nothign

works. I wear headphones when I can or I leave the room, but whatever

I do it disrupts either my activity or the people around me get

upset. I don't expect to change anyone else. I just deal with it as

best I can. "

I think he feels we should put up his loud loud clock in the middle

of our living room and therefore, make my OWN HOME a torture chamber,

but that's not happening! After three days with it, I finally begged

to move it somewhere else, but wherever we put it I could still

hear it! Ugh, I really hate it when people have no clue and overly

simplify something, making you feel like an idiot. I mean, like,

Hey! Why didn't I think of that? Just don't let it bother me!

Wow, what a revelation!

Thanks for letting me vent. I just wondered how any of you respond to

such stupid questions/suggestions.

[Guest guest]

Could always “accidently” break the base?

Sorry in rather a destructive mood.

From: Soundsensitivity

[mailto:Soundsensitivity ] On Behalf Of joanrenae

Sent: Tuesday, 2 December 2008 4:23 PM

To: Soundsensitivity

Subject: Re: just get over it

I totally understand! Here is something I

keep confronting here: we have a small house. The livingroom is

probably about 25 feet down the hall from the bedroom if that far. We

have a TV in the livingroom and one in the bedroom. My husband has this

" thing " about turning the TV in the bedroom up too loud and then I

can hear 2 TV's going at once! The competing noises drive me

insane. Literally every day we go round and round about this. We

have this cheap surround sound system in the bedroom and he will turn the bass

way up! I am so tired of going around and around about it... every single

day! He accuses me of intentionally pressing his buttons by mentioning

it... HELLO? " I " am the ONE with sound sensitivity so how in

the heck am I pushing HIS buttons?

Joan: your dr. phil poster child

Been through

the " Get over it " so many times now I just say " I am over it,

when are you going to get over it "

From:

Subject: just get over it

To: Soundsensitivity

Received: Tuesday, 2 December, 2008, 6:55 AM

I just had to share with you something my best friend's new

boyfriend

asked me this weekend. He had given us a beautiful mantel clock

which he found out we had to put away because of my 4S so I'm sure

that really bothered him. Anyway, he asked me in regard to my 4S:

" Why do you let the noises bother you? Why don't you just learn to

deal with it? "

This made me so mad, but I assumed he was trying to be helpful or at

least try to understand. I made several attempts to explain, but he

just didn't get it. I said, " Trust me, I don't CHOOSE to react with

rage and panic when I hear perfectly normal sounds. It just

happens. I try and breathe deeply, ignore them, etc, but nothign

works. I wear headphones when I can or I leave the room, but whatever

I do it disrupts either my activity or the people around me get

upset. I don't expect to change anyone else. I just deal with it as

best I can. "

I think he feels we should put up his loud loud clock in the middle

of our living room and therefore, make my OWN HOME a torture chamber,

but that's not happening! After three days with it, I finally begged

to move it somewhere else, but wherever we put it I could still

hear it! Ugh, I really hate it when people have no clue and overly

simplify something, making you feel like an idiot. I mean, like,

Hey! Why didn't I think of that? Just don't let it bother me!

Wow, what a revelation!

Thanks for letting me vent. I just wondered how any of you respond to

such stupid questions/suggestio ns.

Start your day with Yahoo!7 and win

a Sony Bravia TV. Enter now.

[Guest guest]

I give you credit for telling family and friends about the 4S. I keep mine a secret. I think it takes quite a lot to open up and share with people that you have a problem.

I have a chronic bladder condition. Everyone who knows me knows about this. I think you have to be proactive in your fight for understanding, and I congratulate you!!

Subject: just get over itTo: Soundsensitivity Date: Monday, December 1, 2008, 2:55 PM

I just had to share with you something my best friend's new boyfriend asked me this weekend. He had given us a beautiful mantel clock which he found out we had to put away because of my 4S so I'm sure that really bothered him. Anyway, he asked me in regard to my 4S:"Why do you let the noises bother you? Why don't you just learn to deal with it?"This made me so mad, but I assumed he was trying to be helpful or at least try to understand. I made several attempts to explain, but he just didn't get it. I said, "Trust me, I don't CHOOSE to react with rage and panic when I hear perfectly normal sounds. It just happens. I try and breathe deeply, ignore them, etc, but nothign works. I wear headphones when I can or I leave the room, but whatever I do it disrupts either my activity or the people around me get upset. I don't expect to change anyone else. I just deal with it as best I

can."I think he feels we should put up his loud loud clock in the middle of our living room and therefore, make my OWN HOME a torture chamber, but that's not happening! After three days with it, I finally begged to move it somewhere else, but wherever we put it I could still hear it! Ugh, I really hate it when people have no clue and overly simplify something, making you feel like an idiot. I mean, like, Hey! Why didn't I think of that? Just don't let it bother me! Wow, what a revelation!Thanks for letting me vent. I just wondered how any of you respond to such stupid questions/suggestio ns.

[Guest guest]

Oh, I can't stand conflicting noises! My husband likes to watch

stupid (he thinks they're funny) videos online. If I'm not trying to

watch tv, it doesn't bother me as much, but if I'm actually trying to

concentrate on a tv show & he's watching some silly video, it drives

me insane...not as much as ice crunching, but I can't stand it. Same

thing when I hear the tv on in the basement & we're upstairs,

especially if no one is watching it. I can't stand for a tv to be on

if no one is watching it.

> >

> >

> > Subject: just get over it

> > To: Soundsensitivity

> > Received: Tuesday, 2 December, 2008, 6:55 AM

> >

> >

> > I just had to share with you something my best friend's new boyfriend

> > asked me this weekend. He had given us a beautiful mantel clock

> > which he found out we had to put away because of my 4S so I'm sure

> > that really bothered him. Anyway, he asked me in regard to my 4S:

> >

> > " Why do you let the noises bother you? Why don't you just learn to

> > deal with it? "

> >

> > This made me so mad, but I assumed he was trying to be helpful or at

> > least try to understand. I made several attempts to explain, but he

> > just didn't get it. I said, " Trust me, I don't CHOOSE to react with

> > rage and panic when I hear perfectly normal sounds. It just

> > happens. I try and breathe deeply, ignore them, etc, but nothign

> > works. I wear headphones when I can or I leave the room, but whatever

> > I do it disrupts either my activity or the people around me get

> > upset. I don't expect to change anyone else. I just deal with it as

> > best I can. "

> >

> > I think he feels we should put up his loud loud clock in the middle

> > of our living room and therefore, make my OWN HOME a torture chamber,

> > but that's not happening! After three days with it, I finally begged

> > to move it somewhere else, but wherever we put it I could still

> > hear it! Ugh, I really hate it when people have no clue and overly

> > simplify something, making you feel like an idiot. I mean, like,

> > Hey! Why didn't I think of that? Just don't let it bother me!

> > Wow, what a revelation!

> >

> > Thanks for letting me vent. I just wondered how any of you respond to

> > such stupid questions/suggestio ns.

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > ------------------------------

> > Start your day with Yahoo!7 and win a Sony Bravia TV. Enter

now<http://au.rd.yahoo.com/hppromo/mail/tagline2/*http://au.docs.yahoo.com/homep\

ageset/?p1=other & p2=au & p3=tagline>.

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

That's a good one! I'll have to try that!

>

>

> Subject: just get over it

> To: Soundsensitivity

> Received: Tuesday, 2 December, 2008, 6:55 AM

>

>

>

>

>

>

> I just had to share with you something my best friend's new

boyfriend

> asked me this weekend. He had given us a beautiful mantel clock

> which he found out we had to put away because of my 4S so I'm sure

> that really bothered him. Anyway, he asked me in regard to my 4S:

>

> " Why do you let the noises bother you? Why don't you just learn to

> deal with it? "

>

> This made me so mad, but I assumed he was trying to be helpful or

at

> least try to understand. I made several attempts to explain, but he

> just didn't get it. I said, " Trust me, I don't CHOOSE to react with

> rage and panic when I hear perfectly normal sounds. It just

> happens. I try and breathe deeply, ignore them, etc, but nothign

> works. I wear headphones when I can or I leave the room, but

whatever

> I do it disrupts either my activity or the people around me get

> upset. I don't expect to change anyone else. I just deal with it as

> best I can. "

>

> I think he feels we should put up his loud loud clock in the middle

> of our living room and therefore, make my OWN HOME a torture

chamber,

> but that's not happening! After three days with it, I finally

begged

> to move it somewhere else, but wherever we put it I could

still

> hear it! Ugh, I really hate it when people have no clue and overly

> simplify something, making you feel like an idiot. I mean, like,

> Hey! Why didn't I think of that? Just don't let it bother me!

> Wow, what a revelation!

>

> Thanks for letting me vent. I just wondered how any of you respond

to

> such stupid questions/suggestio ns.

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> Start your day with Yahoo!7 and win a Sony Bravia TV. Enter

now http://au.docs.yahoo.com/homepageset/?p1=other & p2=au & p3=tagline

>

[Guest guest]

Perhaps he needs to get his hearing checked if he needs it up so

loud. It just occurred to me because I returned from a trip to my

Dad's in Ohio who is almost deaf and he keeps his TV volume up to a

deafening level.

> >

> >

> > Subject: just get over it

> > To: Soundsensitivity

> > Received: Tuesday, 2 December, 2008, 6:55 AM

> >

> >

> > I just had to share with you something my best friend's new

boyfriend

> > asked me this weekend. He had given us a beautiful mantel clock

> > which he found out we had to put away because of my 4S so I'm sure

> > that really bothered him. Anyway, he asked me in regard to my 4S:

> >

> > " Why do you let the noises bother you? Why don't you just learn to

> > deal with it? "

> >

> > This made me so mad, but I assumed he was trying to be helpful or

at

> > least try to understand. I made several attempts to explain, but

he

> > just didn't get it. I said, " Trust me, I don't CHOOSE to react

with

> > rage and panic when I hear perfectly normal sounds. It just

> > happens. I try and breathe deeply, ignore them, etc, but nothign

> > works. I wear headphones when I can or I leave the room, but

whatever

> > I do it disrupts either my activity or the people around me get

> > upset. I don't expect to change anyone else. I just deal with it

as

> > best I can. "

> >

> > I think he feels we should put up his loud loud clock in the

middle

> > of our living room and therefore, make my OWN HOME a torture

chamber,

> > but that's not happening! After three days with it, I finally

begged

> > to move it somewhere else, but wherever we put it I could

still

> > hear it! Ugh, I really hate it when people have no clue and overly

> > simplify something, making you feel like an idiot. I mean, like,

> > Hey! Why didn't I think of that? Just don't let it bother me!

> > Wow, what a revelation!

> >

> > Thanks for letting me vent. I just wondered how any of you

respond to

> > such stupid questions/suggestio ns.

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > ------------------------------

> > Start your day with Yahoo!7 and win a Sony Bravia TV. Enter

now<http://au.rd.yahoo.com/hppromo/mail/tagline2/*http://au.docs.yahoo

..com/homepageset/?p1=other & p2=au & p3=tagline>.

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Thank you all for the backup. It does make me feel better to know I'm

not the only one who hears this kind of crap from people who just

have no idea what it's like to be this way. Even after you take the

time to explain it to them, they refuse to " stand in your shoes, "

even for a moment. If more people tried on someone else's shoes,

even in their imagination, it might be the end of wars across the

globe!

>

>

> Subject: just get over it

> To: Soundsensitivity

> Date: Monday, December 1, 2008, 2:55 PM

>

>

>

>

>

>

> I just had to share with you something my best friend's new

boyfriend

> asked me this weekend. He had given us a beautiful mantel clock

> which he found out we had to put away because of my 4S so I'm sure

> that really bothered him. Anyway, he asked me in regard to my 4S:

>

> " Why do you let the noises bother you? Why don't you just learn to

> deal with it? "

>

> This made me so mad, but I assumed he was trying to be helpful or

at

> least try to understand. I made several attempts to explain, but he

> just didn't get it. I said, " Trust me, I don't CHOOSE to react with

> rage and panic when I hear perfectly normal sounds. It just

> happens. I try and breathe deeply, ignore them, etc, but nothign

> works. I wear headphones when I can or I leave the room, but

whatever

> I do it disrupts either my activity or the people around me get

> upset. I don't expect to change anyone else. I just deal with it as

> best I can. "

>

> I think he feels we should put up his loud loud clock in the middle

> of our living room and therefore, make my OWN HOME a torture

chamber,

> but that's not happening! After three days with it, I finally

begged

> to move it somewhere else, but wherever we put it I could

still

> hear it! Ugh, I really hate it when people have no clue and overly

> simplify something, making you feel like an idiot. I mean, like,

> Hey! Why didn't I think of that? Just don't let it bother me!

> Wow, what a revelation!

>

> Thanks for letting me vent. I just wondered how any of you respond

to

> such stupid questions/suggestio ns.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

It has taken me a long time to get my family to understand that this is

a real problem that REALLY does affect my life. That I'm unable to just

tune it out.

The next time your best friend's new boyfriend starts complaining about

a wasp stuck in his shirt stinging him and he is having a really bad

allergic reaction, tell him to just deal with it to just tune it out.

That is how it feels for us who deal with Sound Sensitivity every day.

I empathize with you and that clock would drive me crazy with pain too!

I have a nice looking ticking-type of clock in my room, BUT I took the

batteries out as a way to silence it. So it doesn't give the correct

time, who cares (I have other ways to tell the time without needing a

'tick, tick, tick' etc.) It just looks nice and that is kind of the

point of having it, am I correct?

Maybe you can do something similar with the clock given to your family?

You are not stupid for sharing and asking questions in this group. Wish

you well,

Randall

[Guest guest]

Thanks, Randall. I like that analogy with the wasp in the shirt.

Good idea.

>

> Hi ,

>

> It has taken me a long time to get my family to understand that

this is

> a real problem that REALLY does affect my life. That I'm unable to

just

> tune it out.

>

> The next time your best friend's new boyfriend starts complaining

about

> a wasp stuck in his shirt stinging him and he is having a really

bad

> allergic reaction, tell him to just deal with it to just tune it

out.

>

> That is how it feels for us who deal with Sound Sensitivity every

day.

>

> I empathize with you and that clock would drive me crazy with pain

too!

>

> I have a nice looking ticking-type of clock in my room, BUT I took

the

> batteries out as a way to silence it. So it doesn't give the

correct

> time, who cares (I have other ways to tell the time without needing

a

> 'tick, tick, tick' etc.) It just looks nice and that is kind of the

> point of having it, am I correct?

>

> Maybe you can do something similar with the clock given to your

family?

>

> You are not stupid for sharing and asking questions in this group.

Wish

> you well,

>

> Randall

>

[Guest guest]

I've had a similar phrase thrown at me ever since the second grade: "Well [me], you're just gonna have to get used to it! You're always going to meet people who hurt your ears."

Even after we discovered it was 4S, they didn't do jack s--t to modify their voices. And they wonder why I keep my headphones on so much upstairs. (Well, it's mostly to block out the television, but they factor in too.)

I'd love to tear into them -REALLY love to-, but it would just lead to yelling and no changes at all.

= M-F.

[Guest guest]

It wastes electricity, too.

= M-F.

----- Original Message -----

> I can't stand for a tv to be on

> if no one is watching it.

[Guest guest]

Maybe your husband is losing his hearing. There should be a caption option; try turning it on and turning the sound down and see what happens. That's what my parents did, since Mom's hearing isn't so hot any more.

= M-F.

----- Original Message -----

From: joanrenae

>I totally understand! Here is something I keep confronting here: we have a small house. The livingroom is probably about 25 feet down the hall from the bedroom if that far. We have a TV in the livingroom and one in the bedroom. My husband has this "thing" about turning the TV in the bedroom up too loud and then I can hear 2 TV's going at once! The competing noises drive me insane. Literally every day we go round and round about this. We have this cheap surround sound system in the bedroom and he will turn the bass way up! I am so tired of going around and around about it... every single day! He accuses me of intentionally pressing his buttons by mentioning it... HELLO? "I" am the ONE with sound sensitivity so how in the heck am I pushing HIS buttons?>Joan: your dr. phil poster child

[Guest guest]

Glad to see someone else thinking like I do. I hate waste.

Subject: Re: Re: just get over itTo: Soundsensitivity Date: Tuesday, December 2, 2008, 1:24 PM

It wastes electricity, too.= M-F.----- Original Message ----- From: "andrealeigh4" <andrealeigh4@ hotmail.com>> I can't stand for a tv to be on> if no one is watching it.

[Guest guest]

Hi M-F,I know how angering it can be but it does help to remind yourself that most people just don't understand this condition. We want and expect people to put themselves in our shoes and try and understand for one second how we feel but we must also do the same for them. It's very clear to us because we live with the pain every day but most people don't, which is why they just don't get it. The most that we can do is try to understand them and try to patiently help them understand us.Lots of luck,andraTo: Soundsensitivity Sent: Wednesday, December 3, 2008 6:22:21 AMSubject: Re: just get over it

I've had a similar phrase thrown at me ever since the second grade: "Well [me], you're just gonna have to get used to it! You're always going to meet people who hurt your ears."

Even after we discovered it was 4S, they didn't do jack s--t to modify their voices. And they wonder why I keep my headphones on so much upstairs. (Well, it's mostly to block out the television, but they factor in too.)

I'd love to tear into them -REALLY love to-, but it would just lead to yelling and no changes at all.

= M-F.

[Guest guest]

They do understand I have a problem, a bad problem, and I'd be a lot more patient if they DID something. Even my boyfriend modifies his voice when I ask! Why can't my own parents?

= M-F

----- Original Message -----

From: andra Ruiz

>The most that we can do is try to understand them and try to patiently help them understand us.>Lots of luck,>andra

[Guest guest]

I suggested he might have a hearing issue cuz he talks loudly too, but he totally denies it. He worked in the framing industry for awhile and has been in 9 bands as a guitarist/singer so it is very possible!

They do understand I have a problem, a bad problem, and I'd be a lot more patient if they DID something. Even my boyfriend modifies his voice when I ask! Why can't my own parents?

= M-F

----- Original Message -----

From: andra Ruiz

>The most that we can do is try to understand them and try to patiently help them understand us.>Lots of luck,>andra

[Guest guest]

I understand how you feel...the people that supposedly care about you most should have the respect and consideration to be sensitive to those things that cause you so much pain. It may help to communicate to them (in a relaxed manner) how disappointed you are with their lack of sensitivity and tell them, that since this is the case, you will soon not be able to continue having the same relationship with them. You will then have to become more and more distant if they don't at least make an effort to be supportive of your condition. You have to in order to preserve your sanity!I think that it's not necessary for them to modify all of their behaviors (as much as I would like everyone to stop eating, talking and breathing) but at least for them to make an effort. Do

you think that your reaction to your parents would change if you saw that they at least made some sort of an effort?andraTo: Soundsensitivity Sent: Wednesday, December 3, 2008 1:46:19 PMSubject: Re: just get over it

They do understand I have a problem, a bad problem, and I'd be a lot more patient if they DID something. Even my boyfriend modifies his voice when I ask! Why can't my own parents?

= M-F

----- Original Message -----

From: andra Ruiz

>The most that we can do is try to understand them and try to patiently help them understand us.>Lots of luck,>andra

[Guest guest]

I'd be a heckuva lot more patient if they thought "Oh, hey, our daughter has a problem. She's not moving out any time soon, so we may as well try to not bother her ears while she's here. Maybe then she'll be around us more."

For eff's sake, I'd be more patient if they didn't look disgusted every time I cringe because of them!

I'm nearly twenty-six. You'd think by now they'd REMEMBER or CARE A LITTLE that their voices hurt like a [censored]. That's why I don't think they'll ever change.

= M-F.

----- Original Message -----

From: andra Ruiz

>I understand how you feel...the people that supposedly care about you most should have the respect and consideration to be sensitive to those things that cause you so much pain. It may help to communicate to them (in a relaxed manner) how disappointed you are with their lack of sensitivity and tell them, that since this is the case, you will soon not be able to continue having the same relationship with them. You will then have to become more and more distant if they don't at least make an effort to be supportive of your condition. You have to in order to preserve your sanity!>I think that it's not necessary for them to modify all of their behaviors (as much as I would like everyone to stop eating, talking and breathing) but at least for them to make an effort. Do you think that your reaction to your parents would change if you saw that they at least made some sort of an effort?>andra

[Guest guest]

M-F I'm so sorry that you have to go through this, it must be tormenting to have to deal with the 4s AND your parents lack of understanding. Why do they give you looks of disgust? Are they that unwilling to take an interest in understanding how you feel? Is there any way that you would be able to move out?I can relate to how you feel, I was also very tormented growing up, to the point where I would scratch my nails across my arms and make myself bleed. I would literally pull my hair out. I started to feel much better when I moved out on my own. Now I live with my boyfriend and at least while I'm home I have a place I can relax and not have to deal with the triggers.I wish that I could offer you some solutions to help you deal with

this...All the best,andraTo: Soundsensitivity Sent: Sunday, December 7, 2008 7:14:19 AMSubject: Re: just get over it

I'd be a heckuva lot more patient if they thought "Oh, hey, our daughter has a problem. She's not moving out any time soon, so we may as well try to not bother her ears while she's here. Maybe then she'll be around us more."

For eff's sake, I'd be more patient if they didn't look disgusted every time I cringe because of them!

I'm nearly twenty-six. You'd think by now they'd REMEMBER or CARE A LITTLE that their voices hurt like a [censored]. That's why I don't think they'll ever change.

= M-F.

----- Original Message -----

From: andra Ruiz

>I understand how you feel...the people that supposedly care about you most should have the respect and consideration to be sensitive to those things that cause you so much pain. It may help to communicate to them (in a relaxed manner) how disappointed you are with their lack of sensitivity and tell them, that since this is the case, you will soon not be able to continue having the same relationship with them. You will then have to become more and more distant if they don't at least make an effort to be supportive of your condition. You have to in order to preserve your sanity!>I think that it's not necessary for them to modify all of their behaviors (as much as I would like everyone to stop eating, talking and breathing) but at least for them to make an effort. Do you think that your reaction to your parents would change if you saw that they at least made some sort of an effort?>andra

[Guest guest]

>I'm so sorry that you have to go through this, it must be tormenting to have to deal with the 4s AND your parents lack of understanding.

Thank you.

>Why do they give you looks of disgust?

No idea. Force of habit, perhaps? Maybe they're just set in their way of thinking that one day I'll get used to it. (See "Well [me], you're just going to have to get used to it! People will always bother your ears!") What I don't understand is how Mom told my EXTREMELY sibilant, lip-smacking work advocate to speak with a lisp, yet she and Dad don't.

>Are they that unwilling to take an interest in understanding how you feel?

No clue. Maybe they're just sick of dealing with it and can't be arsed to do anything about it.

>Is there any way that you would be able to move out?

Not unless Social Security decides it's acceptable to pay me a thousand dollars a month. Rent isn't bad around here, but there's no way I could make it even if I worked two jobs. (Wish me luck on finding a second one anyway.)

>I can relate to how you feel, I was also very tormented growing up, to the point where I would scratch my nails across my arms and make myself bleed. I would literally pull my hair out.

Sounds like how I would break pencils in fourth grade in order to release some aggrevation with my sibilant, smarmy, math-loving teacher. I think I did a lot of lip-biting and digging my nails into my arms too.

>I started to feel much better when I moved out on my own. Now I live with my boyfriend and at least while I'm home I have a place I can relax and not have to deal with the triggers.

Good.

>I wish that I could offer you some solutions to help you deal with this...

At least YOU listened. (hugs) Thank you.

= M-F.

[Guest guest]

Well M-F, I wish you TONS of luck in finding a job so that you can quickly move out of your house. I think this will greatly improve your relationship with your parents. At the very least you won't get the looks, right? You know this already but it's not your fault, they just don't understand.I'm sure you've tried this already but have you shown the the 4s website and some of the emails from the other members? Maybe this will help them understand?Can I ask you where you live? Maybe you can find a roommate and share an apartment?Wishing you all the best...andraTo: Soundsensitivity Sent: Thursday, December 11, 2008 1:10:47 PMSubject: Re: just get over it

>I'm so sorry that you have to go through this, it must be tormenting to have to deal with the 4s AND your parents lack of understanding.

Thank you.

>Why do they give you looks of disgust?

No idea. Force of habit, perhaps? Maybe they're just set in their way of thinking that one day I'll get used to it. (See "Well [me], you're just going to have to get used to it! People will always bother your ears!") What I don't understand is how Mom told my EXTREMELY sibilant, lip-smacking work advocate to speak with a lisp, yet she and Dad don't.

>Are they that unwilling to take an interest in understanding how you feel?

No clue. Maybe they're just sick of dealing with it and can't be arsed to do anything about it.

>Is there any way that you would be able to move out?

Not unless Social Security decides it's acceptable to pay me a thousand dollars a month. Rent isn't bad around here, but there's no way I could make it even if I worked two jobs. (Wish me luck on finding a second one anyway.)

>I can relate to how you feel, I was also very tormented growing up, to the point where I would scratch my nails across my arms and make myself bleed. I would literally pull my hair out.

Sounds like how I would break pencils in fourth grade in order to release some aggrevation with my sibilant, smarmy, math-loving teacher. I think I did a lot of lip-biting and digging my nails into my arms too.

>I started to feel much better when I moved out on my own. Now I live with my boyfriend and at least while I'm home I have a place I can relax and not have to deal with the triggers.

Good.

>I wish that I could offer you some solutions to help you deal with this...

At least YOU listened. (hugs) Thank you.

= M-F.