A thought and a couple fears/concerns

December 4, 2008

I just got my 5 month old to sleep for what will be a short nap. He

is still in a cradle in our bedroom, and we quickly learned that the

pulls on our furniture can't make any noise, or he wakes up. I had

been reading around about 4S this morning, so my brain naturally went

there with, " What if we are born with this, but we don't realize it

until later because our brains aren't mature enough to recognize

what's bothering us? " When he was just over 3 months old, he slept

through a loud wedding reception! I don't actually remember when this

started for me. I know I had it in high school, but my mom reminded

me (when I was telling her about 4S) that my step-dad eats noisily.

It was then that I remembered I refused to eat with him and my

step-brother in middle school. Point is, I have no idea when mine

started. Maybe I've always had it?

This led me to worrying about my children also inheriting/developing

4S. I, obviously, don't want this for them, and I think mine is more

on the mild side, so I can only imagine it being worse (I think it

helps that I am not currently in the work force).

My last concern is more immediate, and this is what's driving me to

work on an email to, first, Oprah, and then maybe NIH, though I do

think the psychology field should be involved in a study. Anyway, my

oldest is almost 3, and his noises are starting to bother me. I found

myself on edge the other day, threatening to take a sucker from him if

he didn't stop crunching it. Obviously, a sucker is something he

doesn't need, but I wouldn't want to try to control a future situation

the same way with, say, his dinner. I don't want to get that feeling

toward my children. While my husband can understand (now that I know

I'm not alone & not crazy), it will be a while before my kids can, and

I don't want them to feel they are at fault for my seemingly

irrational behavior to normal noises.

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