My Own Personal Hell

[Guest guest]

My story is rather a long one so I'll try and break it down as much

as possible so as not to bore. The beginning is a bit sketchy as this

problem emerged when I was only 5 years old. My dad left when I was

about 4 1/2 years old and according to my mum, my issues with people

eating began very soon after. I have 3 older sisters and and 1

younger. All of a sudden it was unbearable for me to eat with my

family because of the noise they made chewing. In the end, I confined

myself to the kitchen while the rest of the family ate in the dining

room. They couldn't understand it so my mum took me to a child

psycologist, not that it did any good. Her solution was a cleaning

rota for the family!!!

The problem grew increasingly worse especially where my younger

sister is concerned and I cannot stand the sound of people eating,

chewing gum, breathing heavily, snoring (ironic as I also snore),

swallowing loudly and animals licking themselves. There are probably

more that at this moment I can't think of. I would stick my fingers

in my ears so as not to hear them and became quite good at doing

things with one hand as one finger would be in my ear and I would

lower my head to my shoulder so as to cover the other ear. As I got

older it became apparant that I couldn't do that without being

interrogated by people who wondered what on earth I was doing. Over

the years I have tried to become more tolerant or not so obvious but

there are certain people I cannot bear to be around when they're

eating so I try to avoid them as much as possible. Obviously this

problem is interfering and disrupting my life and basically making me

miserable. I thought I was a freak of nature as I'd never come across

anybody with the same problem as me. After a bit of investigation I

found out that I suffer from misophonia. Not wanting to self diagnose

I am going to try and get counselling in order to improve.

I foolishly thought I had gotten a lot better and decided to do

a " good " thing and rescue a dog from my local pound. You can imagine

how much I regret doing that as I am now wearing ear plugs at home

all the time to avoid the frustration of having to put up with him

licking himself or smacking his lips. What kills me the most is that

I love animals and have grown so attached to my dog in a short space

of time but I am going out of my mind and no amount of love for him

is going to allow me to live " normally " inside my own house so today

I have decided to find a good home for him. I have never smacked him

or anything but unfortunately his noise is turning me into a nervous

wreck and a ball of nerves. This is what has really made me think

that I need some type of therapy to at least relieve this problem

even if it doesn't totally disappear. I am glad to know that there

are so many others that are going through the same as me, not that

I'm glad you have the same issues but now I don't feel so isolated

and feel that these groups can help to deal with this problem.