Guest guest Posted January 7, 2008 Report Share Posted January 7, 2008 I like your poetry. It's honest and I can feel your pain. Writing is a wounderful outlet, especially if it takes your mind off distracting sounds. Sounds like your on to something by focusing on creative expression. Anything is better than focusing on the irritating causes of your discomfort. Keep on writing. -------------- Original message -------------- With every "swish, swish" of your corduroy pants,I am vexed more and more.With every clatter of the dishes,You drive me more and more insane.With each clearing of your throat,and every forceful stomp you walk,I lose my patience.With every comment I make,you lose your willpower to put up with me.With every complaint I make,you create a new punishment for me,hoping that something will pull me backinto your world.With every pout I make,you smite me with your iron glare.But do you really think I carewhen I'm this tortured, pained, and hurtby nearly every stimulus you create.I know more and more that I will besent away from "normal" society.But you can't see that.You think "Why not?"I think "Why?"You see a could-be childjust a bit off-stray.I see a could-be child,right in the middle of the path to actual freedomfrom this so called "free country"that is tied to the r oots of tradition,shackled to the beats of pop culture.But my song has a different beat,and I want to be freeto be who I want to be.comments? I know I change topic in the third stanza and this poem's abit more for teens (since I am one), but how is it otherwise?writing's helped me a lot lately. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 7, 2008 Report Share Posted January 7, 2008 unbelievable! very enjoyable/real/true. needs to be somewhere more important--an anthology...? keep writing! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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