Re: Family Christmas Change Question

[Guest guest]

Any chance you could share this Christmas 50/50 - it might be a pain but then you could get on track with your family and no one would have two in a row or miss two in a row?

Just a thought.

Kathy

[DownSyndromeInfoExchange] Family Christmas Change Question

This will not be a question about DS, but I couldn't think of anyone else to ask so I hoped some here might have advice.I am divorced, my ex-wife and I share custody of our children 50-50. We also as many families that are in our situation do, we alternate holidays. My sister who was married the year before I got divorced also has a family Christmas and they alternate years. The years they go to her husbands family happen to be the years that I don't have the children. My sister lives about 20 miles from me. I hope that sets it up enough. Now the dilemma. I have been asked for the last number of years if I could switch holidays with my ex-wife so that Christmas falls on the same weekend of them as the children. I understand this request and it is something I would like to do. I would love to have the whole family get together. To that end we try and schedule a weekend before the holidays and I have always traveled the last two years, once to my sister and this year to my parents, about 5 hours. Other than the children's birthdays I travel to every family gathering. Granted 30 minutes I don't call traveling, but it is every year. My schedule for holidays has been set for the 5 1/2 years I have been divorced. My sister's schedule was started AFTER I was divorced. I do agree with her that it would be impossible for her to change his whole family to their schedule. Now the only way I think I can resolve this is to allow my Ex to have the children for two Christmas' in a row. I really don't want to do this really because they are currently 8 and 7. My oldest has DS. The youngest is getting to an age when Santa will no longer be real to her and the excitement will start wear off after that. I should also include that my sister does not have children and despite living so close typically only sees them when I bring them down or at birthday time.I will admit that I am being selfish in not wanted to give up time that I feel is very special with my children and I am being pushed into doing something that I don't want to do. Am I just being overly selfish and not putting the family first?Thanks,-- Chris

[Guest guest]

Thanks Kathy for the thought. Just wish there was an easy way through this.Chris

Any chance you could share this Christmas 50/50 - it might be a pain but then you could get on track with your family and no one would have two in a row or miss two in a row?

Just a thought.

Kathy

[DownSyndromeInfoExchange] Family Christmas Change Question

This will not be a question about DS, but I couldn't think of anyone else to ask so I hoped some here might have advice.I am divorced, my ex-wife and I share custody of our children 50-50. We also as many families that are in our situation do, we alternate holidays. My sister who was married the year before I got divorced also has a family Christmas and they alternate years. The years they go to her husbands family happen to be the years that I don't have the children. My sister lives about 20 miles from me. I hope that sets it up enough. Now the dilemma. I have been asked for the last number of years if I could switch holidays with my ex-wife so that Christmas falls on the same weekend of them as the children. I understand this request and it is something I would like to do. I would love to have the whole family get together. To that end we try and schedule a weekend before the holidays and I have always traveled the last two years, once to my sister and this year to my parents, about 5 hours. Other than the children's birthdays I travel to every family gathering. Granted 30 minutes I don't call traveling, but it is every year. My schedule for holidays has been set for the 5 1/2 years I have been divorced. My sister's schedule was started AFTER I was divorced. I do agree with her that it would be impossible for her to change his whole family to their schedule. Now the only way I think I can resolve this is to allow my Ex to have the children for two Christmas' in a row. I really don't want to do this really because they are currently 8 and 7. My oldest has DS. The youngest is getting to an age when Santa will no longer be real to her and the excitement will start wear off after that. I should also include that my sister does not have children and despite living so close typically only sees them when I bring them down or at birthday time.I will admit that I am being selfish in not wanted to give up time that I feel is very special with my children and I am being pushed into doing something that I don't want to do. Am I just being overly selfish and not putting the family first?Thanks,-- Chris

-- Chris

[Guest guest]

Well, I may be selfish too, but your KIDS are your family too, and I think you should do whatever makes you and them the happiest.Shari

This will not be a question about DS, but I couldn't think of anyone else to ask so I hoped some here might have advice.I am divorced, my ex-wife and I share custody of our children 50-50. We also as many families that are in our situation do, we alternate holidays. My sister who was married the year before I got divorced also has a family Christmas and they alternate years. The years they go to her husbands family happen to be the years that I don't have the children. My sister lives about 20 miles from me.

I hope that sets it up enough. Now the dilemma. I have been asked for the last number of years if I could switch holidays with my ex-wife so that Christmas falls on the same weekend of them as the children. I understand this request and it is something I would like to do. I would love to have the whole family get together. To that end we try and schedule a weekend before the holidays and I have always traveled the last two years, once to my sister and this year to my parents, about 5 hours. Other than the children's birthdays I travel to every family gathering. Granted 30 minutes I don't call traveling, but it is every year. My schedule for holidays has been set for the 5 1/2 years I have been divorced. My sister's schedule was started AFTER I was divorced. I do agree with her that it would be impossible for her to change his whole family to their schedule.

Now the only way I think I can resolve this is to allow my Ex to have the children for two Christmas' in a row. I really don't want to do this really because they are currently 8 and 7. My oldest has DS. The youngest is getting to an age when Santa will no longer be real to her and the excitement will start wear off after that.

I should also include that my sister does not have children and despite living so close typically only sees them when I bring them down or at birthday time.I will admit that I am being selfish in not wanted to give up time that I feel is very special with my children and I am being pushed into doing something that I don't want to do. Am I just being overly selfish and not putting the family first?

Thanks,-- Chris

[Guest guest]

That's how I would try to solve it as well. Maybe do Christmas Eve at one place and Christmas Day the other. That's how we share grandchildren around here. :-) Otherwise, honestly, at this age, I wouldn't give up even one Christmas with my kids. :-) That is asking a lot! Carol in ILMom to , 8 DS My problem is not how I look. It's how you see me.Join our Down Syndrome information group - http://health. groups.yahoo. com/group/ DownSyndromeInfo Exchange/ http://downsyndromeinfoexchange.blogspot.com/Listen to oldest dd's music http://www.myspace.com/vennamusicFrom: Kathy To: DownSyndromeInfoExchange Sent: Monday, December 15, 2008 2:05:19 PMSubject: Re: [DownSyndromeInfoExchange] Family Christmas Change Question

Any chance you could share this Christmas 50/50 - it might be a pain but then you could get on track with your family and no one would have two in a row or miss two in a row?

Just a thought.

Kathy

[Guest guest]

If you really feel it would be best for everyone in the long run to

change the sequence of altering years then I would opt for " missing "

two years of the actual Christmas day, but arrange to have your

celebration on another weekend so that, although you may miss that

day, you don't miss the celebration. Save the family festivities for

the next weekend and combine it with New Years. The kids would

probably not mind having multiple celebrations! I hear people all the

time saying, " We're having Christmas this weekend, " all through the

month of December.

Just an opinion.

--northern Wisconsin

[Guest guest]

Thanks Carol,Your last line does it for me. I don't know if the ex will want to do a split day. I know she would for a couple of hours.I thought we had this behind us when I opted to have Christmas some other weekend to make certain everyone is there.

Chris

That's how I would try to solve it as well. Maybe do Christmas Eve at one place and Christmas Day the other. That's how we share grandchildren around here. :-)

Otherwise, honestly, at this age, I wouldn't give up even one Christmas with my kids. :-) That is asking a lot! Carol in ILMom to , 8 DS My problem is not how I look. It's how you see me.

Join our Down Syndrome information group - http://health. groups.yahoo. com/group/ DownSyndromeInfo Exchange/ http://downsyndromeinfoexchange.blogspot.com/

Listen to oldest dd's music http://www.myspace.com/vennamusic

To: DownSyndromeInfoExchange Sent: Monday, December 15, 2008 2:05:19 PM

Subject: Re: [DownSyndromeInfoExchange] Family Christmas Change Question

Any chance you could share this Christmas 50/50 - it might be a pain but then you could get on track with your family and no one would have two in a row or miss two in a row?

Just a thought.

Kathy

-- Chris