Advice

[Guest guest]

How do you get the people around you to respect your sound issues? I

have signs around my desk asking them not to chew gum, not to bring

drinks, to please watch the tone of their voice because it hurts me but

no one pays attention. I've gone so far as to tell the guy across the

way from me who hums and whistles all the time to, " Goddamn SHUT UP

ALREADY " to no avail.I'm sure I'm not the only one who works in such

conditions. How does everyone else deal? Any suggestions on how to

survive the days?

[Guest guest]

IPOD OR EARPLUGS. NOTHING ELSE HELPS ME.

>

> How do you get the people around you to respect your sound issues? I

> have signs around my desk asking them not to chew gum, not to bring

> drinks, to please watch the tone of their voice because it hurts me

but

> no one pays attention. I've gone so far as to tell the guy across

the

> way from me who hums and whistles all the time to, " Goddamn SHUT UP

> ALREADY " to no avail.I'm sure I'm not the only one who works in such

> conditions. How does everyone else deal? Any suggestions on how to

> survive the days?

>

[Guest guest]

I have to say, finding this site a couple of years ago made all the

difference to me, how i coped at work and in many other situations. The

realisation that I am not alone in this, that this is a VALID condition

that afflicts more people than we can even imagine. Now, when i

identify a noise that I know I am going to react to... most times the

response is immediate, but i try to catch my emotional reaction before

i am at its mercy... And i make an attempt to talk to my collegue about

my problem.

I stress that it is my problem, not them, and that it is something that

i have had to cope with all my life. I stress that normally I would

simply remove myself from the sound where at all possible, but

obviously in a work situation i must remain. I have to say 90% of the

time, even if they dont understand what i am going through they will

immediately stop doing what ever the trigger was. The key is to talk

about it before i have reached an emotional response, then its so

difficult to communicate clearly, and the person really doesnt know how

to respond to that.

We are the leading edge... most folk do not understand what this is we

are coping with, sometimes virtually crippled with... but i have to

say, more often than not, they usually start talking about someone else

they knew that responded in a similar way... an old uncle that hated

anyone whistling... etc. Its up to us to educate people, to pave the

path for all those sufferers of 4S... eventually the world will

understand that this is a valid condition... a sound allergy of sorts.

I believe that it is our responsibility even to explain to as many as

possible

>

> How do you get the people around you to respect your sound issues? I

> have signs around my desk asking them not to chew gum, not to bring

> drinks, to please watch the tone of their voice because it hurts me

but

> no one pays attention. I've gone so far as to tell the guy across

the

> way from me who hums and whistles all the time to, " Goddamn SHUT UP

> ALREADY " to no avail.I'm sure I'm not the only one who works in such

> conditions. How does everyone else deal? Any suggestions on how to

> survive the days?

>

[Guest guest]

I realized today that communication is not possible with most people

I work with. The problem is that they would not even listen. People

repeatedly have said to me to " shut up " that they are not listening

to me, in other words they walk away and also ignore me when I have a

valid request in asking them to lower the noise levels in the

office.

I have come to realize that communication may not work and it is a

problem with attitudes, behavior and environment in the office. I

had a situation today where I felt intimidated by a co-worker (after

she couldn't stop disrespecting me).

The situation affected me so much that I decided to write a letter

attached to an e-mail to my supervisor, who unfortunally is out of

the office, but will be back soon (things get a little out of control

when my supervisor is out of the office and I feel vulnerable). Some

of my co-workers just do what I would assume people should do when at

home. They play loud music, watch movies, chat loudly and do other

things that really affect me until I can't do my work because the

noise is so disrupting that I can concentrate.

I have tried communication, but in my workplace it doesn't work. I

took some action today and wrote a letter which I will discuss with

my supervisor. My co-worker was the one who angrily verbally

attacked me when I respecfully requested them to lower the noise

levels. I can say that this is the first time I felt this

intimidated.

I hope it all goes well. I am taking off tomorrow to think, I truly

feel unsafe in my work environment right now.

Thanks for your attention.

Waleska

[Guest guest]

Walska Harrassment based on impairment/disability is unlawful and your supervisor needs to understand that this is a serious matter and in law ,the employer is responsible for the actions of their employees and can be sued if they fail to eliminate harrassment or discrimination at work. If you make this a formal written complaint they have to respond formally. But you need to explain that you see yourself as a person with a disability under the Americans with Disabilities Act 1990 (ADA) give evidence of any medical diagnosis or discussion you have with your doctor or a specialist if they ask for it And please do look up the employment provisions in the ADA on making reasonable accommodations at work, and go with this information to a meeting with your supervisor. Be prepared, would be my advice, if there is a local disability organisation near

you, get their advice too. Take care and good luck Diannerodriguezwaleska wrote: I realized today that communication is not possible with most people I work with. The problem is that they would not even listen. People repeatedly have said to me to "shut up" that they are not listening to me, in other words they walk away and also ignore me when I have a valid request

in asking them to lower the noise levels in the office. I have come to realize that communication may not work and it is a problem with attitudes, behavior and environment in the office. I had a situation today where I felt intimidated by a co-worker (after she couldn't stop disrespecting me). The situation affected me so much that I decided to write a letter attached to an e-mail to my supervisor, who unfortunally is out of the office, but will be back soon (things get a little out of control when my supervisor is out of the office and I feel vulnerable). Some of my co-workers just do what I would assume people should do when at home. They play loud music, watch movies, chat loudly and do other things that really affect me until I can't do my work because the noise is so disrupting that I can concentrate. I have tried communication, but in my workplace it doesn't work. I took some action today and

wrote a letter which I will discuss with my supervisor. My co-worker was the one who angrily verbally attacked me when I respecfully requested them to lower the noise levels. I can say that this is the first time I felt this intimidated. I hope it all goes well. I am taking off tomorrow to think, I truly feel unsafe in my work environment right now. Thanks for your attention. Waleska

[Guest guest]

Thanks Dianne.

I have not seek the possibility of certify my condition as a

disability. I know I have sound sensitivity, but I know that the

requests we all make (including those in this group) are rational and

very valid requests and not exclusive to sound sensitivity. Every

professional individual knows that loud noises and disrespectful

behavior is unacceptable in the workplace.

No individual should be bullied or harrassed for expressing

themselves and more if they do it in a respectful manner. I have

always had respect for my co-workers (even according to some of them,

I need to be less polite), but I don't agree with that. I was raised

to pay respect to everyone equally and that is what I would do.

I thought that certifying a disability would be negative for my

career. I am 32 yrs old and I haven't gotten to where I want to be.

I still have some goals that I haven't fulfilled and thought that

this disability will affect opportunities and my career.

I know that discrimination, bullying, intimidation is happening at my

workplace and I will need to be stronger than ever this coming week

to face it. I talked over the phone to our workplace violence

prevention coordinator today to set up a meeting, since I feel

threatened and intimidated and believe is what I had to do.

Thanks for your comments. I will review ADA guidelines and see what

my doctor's would suggest. I am currently in the initial stages of

evaluation and still performing hearing test and so forth.

Waleska

> I realized today that communication is not possible with

most people

> I work with. The problem is that they would not even listen. People

> repeatedly have said to me to " shut up " that they are not listening

> to me, in other words they walk away and also ignore me when I have

a

> valid request in asking them to lower the noise levels in the

> office.

>

> I have come to realize that communication may not work and it is a

> problem with attitudes, behavior and environment in the office. I

> had a situation today where I felt intimidated by a co-worker

(after

> she couldn't stop disrespecting me).

>

> The situation affected me so much that I decided to write a letter

> attached to an e-mail to my supervisor, who unfortunally is out of

> the office, but will be back soon (things get a little out of

control

> when my supervisor is out of the office and I feel vulnerable).

Some

> of my co-workers just do what I would assume people should do when

at

> home. They play loud music, watch movies, chat loudly and do other

> things that really affect me until I can't do my work because the

> noise is so disrupting that I can concentrate.

>

> I have tried communication, but in my workplace it doesn't work. I

> took some action today and wrote a letter which I will discuss with

> my supervisor. My co-worker was the one who angrily verbally

> attacked me when I respecfully requested them to lower the noise

> levels. I can say that this is the first time I felt this

> intimidated.

>

> I hope it all goes well. I am taking off tomorrow to think, I truly

> feel unsafe in my work environment right now.

>

> Thanks for your attention.

>

> Waleska

>

[Guest guest]

may God bless you and hear you!!!!!!!

To: Soundsensitivity From: rodriguezwaleska@...Date: Sat, 17 May 2008 00:25:06 +0000Subject: Re: Advice

Thanks Dianne. I have not seek the possibility of certify my condition as a disability. I know I have sound sensitivity, but I know that the requests we all make (including those in this group) are rational and very valid requests. No individual should be bullied or harrassed for expressing themselves and more if they do it in a respectful manner. I have always had respect for my co-workers (even according to some of them, I need to be less polite), but I don't agree with that. I was raised to pay respect to everyone equally and that is what I would do. I thought that certifying a disability would be negative for my career. I am 32 yrs old and I haven't gotten to where I want to be. I still have some goals that I haven't fulfilled and thought that this disability will affect opportunities and my career. I know that discrimination, bullying, intimidation is happening at my workplace and I will need to be stronger than ever this coming week to face it. I talked over the phone to our workplace violence prevention coordinator today to set up a meeting, since I feel threatened and intimidated and believe is what I had to do. Thanks for your comments. I will review ADA guidelines and see what my doctor's would suggest. I am currently in the initial stages of evaluation and still performing hearing test and so forth. Waleska > I realized today that communication is not possible with most people > I work with. The problem is that they would not even listen. People > repeatedly have said to me to "shut up" that they are not listening > to me, in other words they walk away and also ignore me when I have a > valid request in asking them to lower the noise levels in the > office. > > I have come to realize that communication may not work and it is a > problem with attitudes, behavior and environment in the office. I > had a situation today where I felt intimidated by a co-worker (after > she couldn't stop disrespecting me). > > The situation affected me so much that I decided to write a letter > attached to an e-mail to my supervisor, who unfortunally is out of > the office, but will be back soon (things get a little out of control > when my supervisor is out of the office and I feel vulnerable). Some > of my co-workers just do what I would assume people should do when at > home. They play loud music, watch movies, chat loudly and do other > things that really affect me until I can't do my work because the > noise is so disrupting that I can concentrate. > > I have tried communication, but in my workplace it doesn't work. I > took some action today and wrote a letter which I will discuss with > my supervisor. My co-worker was the one who angrily verbally > attacked me when I respecfully requested them to lower the noise > levels. I can say that this is the first time I felt this > intimidated. > > I hope it all goes well. I am taking off tomorrow to think, I truly > feel unsafe in my work environment right now. > > Thanks for your attention. > > Waleska> Give to a good cause with every e-mail. Join the i’m Initiative from Microsoft.

[Guest guest]

Waleska I would respect your decision not to want to be regarded as a disabled person becacue of discrimination, assumptions and negative stereotypes. However it is worth considering because your employer is obliged to respond if you do. And because the more we are known the less hidden the issue is and the more aware and understanding people become. I:4 people are disabled people, it is a natural human condition, if people do not have impairments now, they will do as they age. It is nothing to be ashamed about as far as I am concerned. The reaction of others, employers, friends, family ,society, is generally the problem. If we talk more about it it is likely to be seen as something more common place and ordinary, but it takes courage I know. I

'came out' as a disabled person a couple of years ago and it has been quite freeing, I feel able to tell people now about my sound sensitivity and ask for what I need and tell people when I cannot cope with particular triggers. It is not always easy and some people continue to be horrible but other people generally know someone who experiences similar noise problems, or are interested to understand. I am not advocating that everyone do the same as me, it is an individual decision, but I remember the decades of fighting by disabled people in both our countries, rather like other civil rights movements, to convince governments that this is an issue of discrimination, not personal tradgedy . They didnt give up and although the legislation they fought for may not be perfect, it is there to protect us at work and elsewhere, so I am pleased to use it and tell others about it when I can. I see this condition as an impairment, not my

fault, I dont know how I got it, but I need other people to recognise the part they can play in making life more bearable and if they deliberately harm me, then I am prepared to stand up. So please be very careful at work, ask for advice and assitance as you have been doing, and calmly explain what it is that could change to make things OK at work, give them some solutions that would work for you. It is such a personal thing to complain of the noise that others think they have a right to make, they feel it is an imposition. Lots of other disabled people experience this too. People feel it is an imposition when they are asked to do things differenlty eg speak more clearly, use different and additional forms of communication, use different teaching and trianing methods, not to turn their back when talking, think about lighting, colour contrasts, font sizes, door

widths, height of light switches, access and exits to building, the list goes on. Why should we ask for what some would call 'special treatment?' Because we need it in order to survive , if fact my view is that all human beings need to be viewed differently, listened to, believed and respected , for me equality is not about being treated in the same way. Take care Diannerodriguezwaleska wrote: Thanks Dianne. I have not seek the possibility of certify my condition as a disability. I know I have sound sensitivity, but I know that the requests we all make (including those in this group) are rational and very valid requests. No individual should be bullied or harrassed for expressing themselves and more if they do it in a respectful manner. I have always had respect for my co-workers (even according to some of them, I need to be less polite), but I don't agree with that. I was raised to pay respect to everyone equally and that is what I would do. I thought that certifying a disability would be negative for my career. I am 32 yrs old and I haven't gotten to where I want to be. I still have some goals that I haven't fulfilled and thought that this disability will affect opportunities and my career. I know that discrimination,

bullying, intimidation is happening at my workplace and I will need to be stronger than ever this coming week to face it. I talked over the phone to our workplace violence prevention coordinator today to set up a meeting, since I feel threatened and intimidated and believe is what I had to do. Thanks for your comments. I will review ADA guidelines and see what my doctor's would suggest. I am currently in the initial stages of evaluation and still performing hearing test and so forth. Waleska > I realized today that communication is not possible with most people > I work with. The problem is that they would not even listen. People

> repeatedly have said to me to "shut up" that they are not listening > to me, in other words they walk away and also ignore me when I have a > valid request in asking them to lower the noise levels in the > office. > > I have come to realize that communication may not work and it is a > problem with attitudes, behavior and environment in the office. I > had a situation today where I felt intimidated by a co-worker (after > she couldn't stop disrespecting me). > > The situation affected me so much that I decided to write a letter > attached to an e-mail to my supervisor, who unfortunally is out of > the office, but will be back soon (things get a little out of control > when my supervisor is out of the office and I feel vulnerable). Some > of my co-workers just do what I would assume people should do when at > home. They play loud music, watch

movies, chat loudly and do other > things that really affect me until I can't do my work because the > noise is so disrupting that I can concentrate. > > I have tried communication, but in my workplace it doesn't work. I > took some action today and wrote a letter which I will discuss with > my supervisor. My co-worker was the one who angrily verbally > attacked me when I respecfully requested them to lower the noise > levels. I can say that this is the first time I felt this > intimidated. > > I hope it all goes well. I am taking off tomorrow to think, I truly > feel unsafe in my work environment right now. > > Thanks for your attention. > > Waleska>