gum incident--suggestions welcome

[Guest guest]

Hello all

If you read my last post, you know that I believe you can get better or worse depending on the type of exposure you are exposed to. I believe that forced exposure makes you worse while exposure you take on yourself can build your confidence and decrease your limitations.

Here's the thing, with chewing gum, I have gotten a lot worse because of forced exposure at work. Now even the site or smell of someone chewing gum will generate strong negative feelings in me. I now work at home half the time and when I am in the office, I feel the most threatened by the people near me chewing gum. I have had recent triggers of smelling the gum. HR and management know that because everyone around me chewed gum when they were supposed to make sure that did not happen eroded my trust and what started out as a sound problem now has become a full blown phobia. I have suspected for weeks that the person next to me who has admitted being manipulative has been chewing gum on the sly. My boss told her not to chew gum at work and to suck on mints instead. So I have thoughts about him really telling her just to hide it better from me or of her thinking that she can do it on the sly. Well today when we were talking--it really looked like she was chewing gum, but I still thought there could be a possibility of her sucking a mint (not as offensive to me). So anyways she walks by me later and I smell something really good--like a fruity lotion. So I say "something smells really good". Then she opens up her mouth and shows me her gum and says it is peppermint (not the smell I was picking up on). I was speechless and hurried to get away. What am I supposed to think??? Thankfully she will be out of the office tomorrow. I have a meeting with my boss on a different topic tomorrow and am not sure what I am going to say. Ironically, me and this woman have been on friendly terms, but I never trusted her.

I feel betrayed and disrespected. I would appreciate any insights, comments, advice, encouragement my fellow 4Sers and family members of 4Ser have!

Thanks!

Sonya

PS. Note that I kept myself calm today and actually have been very productive. I consciously decided to engage in "learned helpfulness" instead of "learned helplessness".