Re: Re: How to tell spouse

[Guest guest]

I talk to my husband quite a lot about it now since I found this group. I think it is because I know I am not on my own any more and not crazy so I don't feel so ashamed about it. He is really great about it and I find that I'm not constantly whinging at him now and I feel like he really understands, whereas before he just tried to understand. If you know what I mean?

Beccy

To: Soundsensitivity Sent: Sunday, November 30, 2008 2:33:03 PMSubject: Re: How to tell spouse

As a matter of fact, my husband HATES the sound of someone cracking their gum. One time we were seated at a concert and the person next to him was cracking her gum. I changed seats with him, as it did not bother me but it drove him mad!!> >> > I have noticed that many of the posts concern a problem that I > share. > > My husband is the one whose sounds annoy me terribly. Question for > the > > people who share this problem, have you ever discussed this with > your > > spouse, or other family member whose sounds drive you crazy?? How > to > > bring up the subject- tactfully... > > This is quite a problem for me. This Thanksgiving day was very > > stressful as we were together a lot. He helped fix the food and was > > snacking and talking and when he does this, he generates a lot of > the > > sounds I react terribly to. Trying to look and act normal with lots > of > > family and company put me in a terrible

mood and i wanted to run > away, > > even though I was with my darling grandbabies. ... Any suggestions?> > > > > >>

[Guest guest]

I find it best to say it's not them that affect me, but the sounds the make. Its tricky.

To: Soundsensitivity Sent: Sunday, November 30, 2008 2:30:26 PMSubject: Re: How to tell spouse

Thanks to everyone who has given me very good advice. My husband is very touchy, he does know from a long time ago that the noises he makes bother me, I like 's point about saying that doesn't single out him alone as the sole source of the noises that bother me- also I like the idea of showing him some of the posts where people talk about their spouse or loved one who makes the noises. , you mentioned you are going to have sushi and drink sake,,,, maybe a little alcohol would help!! (HAHA I am not a drinker due to a bladder problem unfortunately)- In Soundsensitivity@ yahoogroups. com, Balch <russell.balch@ ...> wrote:>> It is definitely a tough one. It would be a very unique person who didn't have hurt feelings after

hearing that something they do brings on such strong, negative feelings.> I would suggest explaining the nature of 4S and maybe introduce him to the group or at least let him read some of the postings. Let him know you have suffered with this in the past with other people or other situations. I don't personally know anyone who has this condition and would venture to say most of us do not have anyone close to us - outside of a another family member possibly that does. It is very easy to feel all alone with this problem.> I would couch it in terms such as, 'when I hear lip smacking or swallowing it really bothers me' etc. Try to lay it out in terms that don't single him out so much. Slowly lead into the things that bother you that HE does so that the conversation might come to a natural conclusion. As natural as it could possibly be with this idiotic condition we have. :

)> > Feel free to email me anytime and good luck. I have gone through this with my wife and it is really tough. I totally understand the maintaining 'face' when company is around. I am often grumpy in those situations and I know it is subtly off-putting to company. They can tell when something is up. > > That's all for now. I am off to have sushi with my lovely wife in a noisy sushi bar with a few tumblers of sake!> > -RB> > > > > Subject: How to tell spouse> To: Soundsensitivity@ yahoogroups. com> Date: Saturday, November 29, 2008, 12:13 PM> > > > >

> > I have noticed that many of the posts concern a problem that I share. > My husband is the one whose sounds annoy me terribly. Question for the > people who share this problem, have you ever discussed this with your > spouse, or other family member whose sounds drive you crazy?? How to > bring up the subject- tactfully... > This is quite a problem for me. This Thanksgiving day was very > stressful as we were together a lot. He helped fix the food and was > snacking and talking and when he does this, he generates a lot of the > sounds I react terribly to. Trying to look and act normal with lots of > family and company put me in a terrible mood and i wanted to run away, > even though I was with my darling grandbabies. ... Any suggestions?> > >