Babies with Down syndrome not a mistake

[Guest guest]

Down Syndrome babies not a mistake

by Gross | Flint Journal reader

Wednesday December 03, 2008, 11:32 AM

Washington Post file photo

Holden of Springfield, Va., who was born with Down syndrome, participates in a

class at Mason University that offers her a shot at independence. A

letter writer says society misunderstands those with Down syndrome.

Here's a Flint Journal letter to

the editor for December 3, 2008: (Give your view on this

letter in the comments area below)

Modern medicine is a wonderful thing. Early detection of serious illnesses

saves thousands of lives every year.

But what happens when modern medicine leads to lives lost? More and more, we

hear about expecting parents terminating pregnancies because a birth defect or

genetic disorder was detected early on in the pregnancy. This is something that

saddens me deeply.

Five years ago, our daughter was born with Down syndrome.

What a miracle from God this child is! But more often, society does not see her

as a miracle. Instead, we are met with stares and sympathetic smiles. I wish I

could give people a sneak peek at our lives. We do not need sympathy. We need

understanding. The problem lies with the way people perceive Down syndrome. Our

daughter is smart as a whip, she is intrinsically motivated and has a sense of

humor that doesn't quit. She will probably have some delays as she goes through

life, but eventually she'll do what everyone else can do. She'll just have to

work harder.

The assumptions that people make about her cause us more problems than she

ever will. It becomes a problem when someone pities her or ignores her because

they assume she is too " retarded " to be talked to. It becomes a

problem when someone shouts at her because they assume she must be hard of

hearing. It becomes a problem when someone stares at us and then finally asks,

" What was she born with, exactly? " It becomes a problem when someone

points at her and says proudly, " Oh, we've got one that goes to our church

-- and she drives a car. "

The problems we face don't come from the diagnosis of Down syndrome, but

from society's thinking.

When parents terminate a Down syndrome pregnancy, what they are really

saying is that they don't trust God to do what's right for them. They are

saying that God made a mistake; but God doesn't make mistakes. There is such a

demand for the perception of " perfection " that many pregnancies are

terminated.

I was pleased to see the articles published in The Flint Journal regarding

Down syndrome, [ " Down syndrome generation the first to outlive their

parents, " and " Once frightened mom finds comfort in helping

others, " and " Adoptions of children with Down syndrome on the

increase, " Nov. 16, Today]. It was nice to read some positive information

regarding this genetic disorder.

When our daughter was two hours old, we were told by a medical student that

our daughter's life expectancy was 45 years. Not exactly uplifting news for new

parents.

Let's try not to think of what the negatives and limitations are for people

with Down syndrome. Instead, let's focus on the positives and what can be

accomplished when we all believe in them.

Gross

Montrose Township

http://www.mlive.com/flintjournal/voices/index.ssf/2008/12/down_syndrome_babies_not_a_mis.html