White noise scares me. (Sounds + emotions)

[Guest guest]

White noise scares me because it reminds me of a tornado.

Actually, any kind of white noise has bothered me since an EF4 tornado

destroyed my high school last year and killed 8 of my classmates. The

sounds I heard during that time... that deafening, roaring rushing

sound of a thousand waves breaking at once, still bothers me.

When I hear something like it, it brings back all those old emotions.

Helplessness, terror, an utter loss of control. Anger. Waiting for it

all to end.

I get nervous when a loud air conditioner turns on, and I find myself

truly scared on windy days. I often panic when there's a windy

thunderstorm outside. It's completely irrational... the chances of it

happening again are practically nonexistent. But it's had such a

strong impact on me that I can't control it.

I've tried listening to white noise to help stress problems and to see

if it has any effect on 4s, but all I can think of is the tornado when

I hear those sounds. I can't stand to listen to a thunderstorm, and I

can barely manage to listen to ocean waves with just a little unease.

It's getting better over time, but only very slowly.

It's really amazing how closely sounds are tied to emotions,

especially emotions stemming from extremely stressful situations. I

know it's not entirely on-topic, but it's an interesting thing to

think about, considering how debilitating 4s can be emotionally.

Are there any sounds, 4s-triggering or not, that bring up emotions in you?