Re: Frustrated with local police department

[Guest guest]

Oh boy, do I know what you mean .

Stacie

Amen. It seems like mother's are continuously the scape goat for autism. Initially, we were the cold mother. Next, we just didn't teach our kids how to behave. Now, we are the poor single women, who want our kids to act up, so we'll get government money. Notice the blame always falls on us? If the public could see what we go through, the efforts we make, the time invested, money spent on special diets, therapies, medications, counseling, etc. they would be astounded...and probably couldn't to it themselves. I am really tired of the blame game.

Sara

Frustrated with local police department> > > Hi all,> > I am just plain frustrated with the local police department and > basically the entire community where I live. Yesterday my son, who > has been having major behavioral problems lately, was behaving and > listening very well. He and I went to the laundromat down the street > from my apartment. Ricky rode his scooter to the laundromat and was > very careful riding it up and down the sidewalk in front of the > laundromat. He had been doing that for over an hour with no > problems. Then all of a sudden someone outside decided to scold my > son for riding his scooter on the sidewalk and yelled at him for > almost running her over. She yelled at me saying that is was against > the law to ride scooters on the sidewalks and that it was a "walkway > only". > > I asked her to drop the subject and leave us alone. I was trying to > bring Ricky in away from her when he started to yell and cuss her out > and then tried to kick her. She proceeded to call the police on > him. Two police officers came and pretty much chewed me out for not > controlling my child. Mind you, MY CHILD was under control and not > bothering anyone. He said he didn't run her over and I had a witness > that said that also. But the police still insisted that I don't know > how to control my son and that I should never take him out in public > until he can be under control. We are at the library right now and > he is "under control". > > The police were again blaming me, as many others do, for my son's > behavior. There are times when you just can't control everything > that your child does. His behavior can change so quickly sometimes, > as some of you may experience with your own children.> > I am just tired of the lack of compassion in this world and in my > community. I would like to know if there is an autism friendly > community somewhere and if so, I am moving there.> > Thanks for listening,> > > MW Ohio>

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[Guest guest]

and others, I can so relate. I am becoming increasingly hesitant of

mentioning disrespectful behavior from police and other authority figures

due to the general attitutde her ein psych hospital that if the police is

calle don you, you MUSR have done somethign wrong. I admit freely, I am an

occasional wanderer and this has gotten the police called on me, and this is

considered okay despite the fact that non-disabled people are allowed to

just get their bikes or cars and drive around for a while to distract

themselves, too. Still don't understand why walking around iwithout a clear

destination s not acceptable. Anyway, even supposing that this always

constitutes wandering and wandering always constitutes danger, as my current

staff do, then still police could have been more repsectful with me. One

particular occasion stands out in my mind, which is one reason why I dread

moving back to that community someday (I will have to, the supported living

placement they want me in is in that neighborhood): I was on my way to the

grocery store, in a hurry because the store was about to close but not at

all in danger or anything. At some point, the police spoke up to me, cause

someone had called them cause they'd decided that I had fallen (I hadn't).

The police were also afraid that I would get onto the road without watching

out (I don't know what they got that idea from), and kept naggign that I

should get into their vehicle and they would take me home otherwise they'd

arrest me. They ended up pushing me into their vehicle and driving me home.

Another time the police was called because I have an odd gait and it got

someone to think I was drunk (I wasn't and had already explained this to

that woman). I was at the time on my way home fromt he store, not at all in

a hurry or panicking or lost or whatever, in fact all I did wrogn was having

an odd gait. The police stood nagging to me in a very patronizing and

disrespectful way, two minutes walking distance form my home, for maybe ten

minutes until my father came aroudn by chance and spoke up to the polic eon

my behalf.

Mind you, I am not saying that all police encounters for people with

disabilities, or me specificially, are because of behavior that is not a

problem. I ended up in psych hospital through the police station in that

same city and this was for a valid reason (I was suicidal at the time). I've

also been picked up by the police for having meltdowns in public for various

reasons,and int he mind of most so-called professionals, thsi is all right.

One thing that I do sya is, I don't take the " you must have done somethign

wrong or the police woul dnto have come " mindset. It's just bullshit. Police

need to be educated about disabilities, and the right of people with

disabilities to be out in public (my mother denies this now that I'm in

psych hospital, but years ago she was vigilant about police people allegedly

claiming that blind people shouldn't be out in public alone - but even if no

police officer thinks so, then blind and autistic people still have the

right to be out in public unless they are an actual safety threat). As a

side note, once when the police were called on me cause I was wandering (I'm

not sure if it was actual wandering or I was lost on my way to something,

but I do remember that I was in a somewhat confused state), they threatend

that tey'd take me to the police station if they saw me one more time. It

really came across like an order not to show up in public again (I was

eventually taken to the police station numerous times, mostly for actual

wandering and/or meltdowns, and it didn't change my behavior).

Astrid

astrid@...

http://www.astridvanwoerkom.com/

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[Guest guest]

Hi,I also had negative experiences with local police involving my 10

year old son. The officer told me that my sons social problems are

the result of " bad parenting " I have tried to explain autism and

obsessional compulsive disorder. The officer told me it is still " bad

parenting " The police have banned my son from playing in our

neighborhood and going to church/sunday school and he is to remain at

home. The parents in our neighborhood he spoke to agreed. My son had

thrown rocks,one child was hit by a rock and he verbally used swear

words after being teased by the neighborhood children. A parent then

called the police. My child has been shaken,yelled at and scolded by

the police for not listening good enough during a bicycle safety

program, instructed by the officer and by an officer visiting on the

school grounds. The police tell me my son has a listening problem

also from " bad parenting " They filed " bad parenting " with the child

protective services against me.

- In AutismBehaviorProblems , " mlwpdb "

wrote:

>

> Hi Stacie,

>

> My son is almost 11 (next month). He feels so rejected and

unwanted

> in our town (as do I). He wants to move away, really wants to move

> back in with grandma. I can't afford to move right now, but would

if

> I could. It is sad when people won't take the time to listen and

try

> and understand that not all children are brats. Also, people need

to

> learn that autism isn't the parents fault. I am so tired of being

> blamed for his behavior.

>

>

> NW Ohio

>

>

> >

> > Gosh ! I am so sorry! I know what you mean! We go

through

> things all the time too! How old is your son? There is a house

for

> sale next to me! I live in Illinois hehe! Our neighborhood has

been

> pretty good with and us in helping us out but other places UGH!

> > Stacie B

> > Aurora IL

> > Sent via BlackBerry by AT & T

> >

> > Frustrated with local police department

> >

> >

> > Hi all,

> >

> > I am just plain frustrated with the local police department and

> > basically the entire community where I live. Yesterday my son,

who

> > has been having major behavioral problems lately, was behaving

and

> > listening very well. He and I went to the laundromat down the

> street

> > from my apartment. Ricky rode his scooter to the laundromat and

> was

> > very careful riding it up and down the sidewalk in front of the

> > laundromat. He had been doing that for over an hour with no

> > problems. Then all of a sudden someone outside decided to scold

my

> > son for riding his scooter on the sidewalk and yelled at him for

> > almost running her over. She yelled at me saying that is was

> against

> > the law to ride scooters on the sidewalks and that it was

> a " walkway

> > only " .

> >

> > I asked her to drop the subject and leave us alone. I was trying

> to

> > bring Ricky in away from her when he started to yell and cuss her

> out

> > and then tried to kick her. She proceeded to call the police on

> > him. Two police officers came and pretty much chewed me out for

> not

> > controlling my child. Mind you, MY CHILD was under control and

not

> > bothering anyone. He said he didn't run her over and I had a

> witness

> > that said that also. But the police still insisted that I don't

> know

> > how to control my son and that I should never take him out in

> public

> > until he can be under control. We are at the library right now

and

> > he is " under control " .

> >

> > The police were again blaming me, as many others do, for my son's

> > behavior. There are times when you just can't control everything

> > that your child does. His behavior can change so quickly

> sometimes,

> > as some of you may experience with your own children.

> >

> > I am just tired of the lack of compassion in this world and in my

> > community. I would like to know if there is an autism friendly

> > community somewhere and if so, I am moving there.

> >

> > Thanks for listening,

> >

> >

> > MW Ohio

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Hello...what sort of intervention is your child receiving, and how old is he? Is he on any medication...any close friends, siblings? I have both a Nt child and a non typical boy with Autism. Physical acting out is always scarier than other ways...and God bless him, it does sound like he is being teased which them creates more tension for him.......There are a lot of ladies on here with older boys, and maybe they can offer you more.........if he is not seeing a neurologist and or a pediatric psychiatrist...I would get him that help for sure.

Blessings.....

e

Frustrated with local police department> > > > > > Hi all,> > > > I am just plain frustrated with the local police department and > > basically the entire community where I live. Yesterday my son, who > > has been having major behavioral problems lately, was behaving and > > listening very well. He and I went to the laundromat down the > street > > from my apartment. Ricky rode his scooter to the laundromat and > was > > very careful riding it up and down the sidewalk in front of the > > laundromat. He had been doing that for over an hour with no > > problems. Then all of a sudden someone outside decided to scold my > > son for riding his scooter on the

sidewalk and yelled at him for > > almost running her over. She yelled at me saying that is was > against > > the law to ride scooters on the sidewalks and that it was > a "walkway > > only". > > > > I asked her to drop the subject and leave us alone. I was trying > to > > bring Ricky in away from her when he started to yell and cuss her > out > > and then tried to kick her. She proceeded to call the police on > > him. Two police officers came and pretty much chewed me out for > not > > controlling my child. Mind you, MY CHILD was under control and not > > bothering anyone. He said he didn't run her over and I had a > witness > > that said that also. But the police still insisted that I don't > know > > how to control my son and that I should never take him out in > public

> > until he can be under control. We are at the library right now and > > he is "under control". > > > > The police were again blaming me, as many others do, for my son's > > behavior. There are times when you just can't control everything > > that your child does. His behavior can change so quickly > sometimes, > > as some of you may experience with your own children.> > > > I am just tired of the lack of compassion in this world and in my > > community. I would like to know if there is an autism friendly > > community somewhere and if so, I am moving there.> > > > Thanks for listening,> > > > > > MW Ohio> >>

[Guest guest]

That is the most outrageous thing I've ever heard!!! You MUST get a lawyer ASAP. You and your son can NOT be treated like that, by anyone...especially the police. The police force should get some training from a credible organization (Person's with Disabilities/ ARC, etc.). Please start contacting these types of organizations in your area immediately.

Sara

Frustrated with local police department> > > > > > Hi all,> > > > I am just plain frustrated with the local police department and > > basically the entire community where I live. Yesterday my son, who > > has been having major behavioral problems lately, was behaving and > > listening very well. He and I went to the laundromat down the > street > > from my apartment. Ricky rode his scooter to the laundromat and > was > > very careful riding it up and down the sidewalk in front of the > > laundromat. He had been doing that for over an hour with no > > problems. Then all of a sudden someone outside decided to scold my > > son for riding his scooter on the sidewalk and yelled at him for > > almost running her over. She yelled at me saying that is was > against > > the law to ride scooters on the sidewalks and that it was > a "walkway > > only". > > > > I asked her to drop the subject and leave us alone. I was trying > to > > bring Ricky in away from her when he started to yell and cuss her > out > > and then tried to kick her. She proceeded to call the police on > > him. Two police officers came and pretty much chewed me out for > not > > controlling my child. Mind you, MY CHILD was under control and not > > bothering anyone. He said he didn't run her over and I had a > witness > > that said that also. But the police still insisted that I don't > know > > how to control my son and that I should never take him out in > public > > until he can be under control. We are at the library right now and > > he is "under control". > > > > The police were again blaming me, as many others do, for my son's > > behavior. There are times when you just can't control everything > > that your child does. His behavior can change so quickly > sometimes, > > as some of you may experience with your own children.> > > > I am just tired of the lack of compassion in this world and in my > > community. I would like to know if there is an autism friendly > > community somewhere and if so, I am moving there.> > > > Thanks for listening,> > > > > > MW Ohio> >>

[Guest guest]

Hi I tried to file a civil rights complaint. The police are at a

federal and state level and not under the jurisdiction of the office

I contacted. I did file in regards to violations of the students with

disabilities act in regards to my sons treatment in school. That was

successful. Part of the problem facing autistic children is the

public lacks knowledge about disabilities. All parties I have dealt

with do not consider behavioural problems a disability or part of

one. They all considered behavioural problems a lack of discipline

and bad parenting issues. We need better public awareness to insure

safety and equality for our children with autism and related

disorders that affect behaviour. I worry often about how police will

interact with autistic children having a rage cycle or meltdown.

In AutismBehaviorProblems , " Sara "

wrote:

>

> That is the most outrageous thing I've ever heard!!! You MUST get

a lawyer ASAP. You and your son can NOT be treated like that, by

anyone...especially the police. The police force should get some

training from a credible organization (Person's with Disabilities/

ARC, etc.). Please start contacting these types of organizations in

your area immediately.

>

> Sara

>

> Frustrated with local police department

> > >

> > >

> > > Hi all,

> > >

> > > I am just plain frustrated with the local police department

and

> > > basically the entire community where I live. Yesterday my

son,

> who

> > > has been having major behavioral problems lately, was

behaving

> and

> > > listening very well. He and I went to the laundromat down the

> > street

> > > from my apartment. Ricky rode his scooter to the laundromat

and

> > was

> > > very careful riding it up and down the sidewalk in front of

the

> > > laundromat. He had been doing that for over an hour with no

> > > problems. Then all of a sudden someone outside decided to

scold

> my

> > > son for riding his scooter on the sidewalk and yelled at him

for

> > > almost running her over. She yelled at me saying that is was

> > against

> > > the law to ride scooters on the sidewalks and that it was

> > a " walkway

> > > only " .

> > >

> > > I asked her to drop the subject and leave us alone. I was

trying

> > to

> > > bring Ricky in away from her when he started to yell and cuss

her

> > out

> > > and then tried to kick her. She proceeded to call the police

on

> > > him. Two police officers came and pretty much chewed me out

for

> > not

> > > controlling my child. Mind you, MY CHILD was under control

and

> not

> > > bothering anyone. He said he didn't run her over and I had a

> > witness

> > > that said that also. But the police still insisted that I

don't

> > know

> > > how to control my son and that I should never take him out in

> > public

> > > until he can be under control. We are at the library right

now

> and

> > > he is " under control " .

> > >

> > > The police were again blaming me, as many others do, for my

son's

> > > behavior. There are times when you just can't control

everything

> > > that your child does. His behavior can change so quickly

> > sometimes,

> > > as some of you may experience with your own children.

> > >

> > > I am just tired of the lack of compassion in this world and

in my

> > > community. I would like to know if there is an autism

friendly

> > > community somewhere and if so, I am moving there.

> > >

> > > Thanks for listening,

> > >

> > >

> > > MW Ohio

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Hi what a sad situation for you and your son. People are very

justified in their anger when police respond without understanding of

Autism. I have been going through similar things in our neighborhood.

Its so hard as a parent to speak in defense of an autistic child. No

one without personal experience knows for sure what that entails. I

sent a letter out to a few parents in our neighborhood after my son

was banned from playing or riding his bicycle save for our yard/

property. Children come by to remind him not to talk to them. I was

so darn mad I wrote and made copies of a letter to parents as

handouts. I explained my son has autism/ocd and that he becomes

confused and does not understand or engage appropriate reactions in

social confrontations. It did not change anything for us directly but

I felt better and hope they use the info to look up some facts in

regards to autism and obsessional compulsive disorder that I listed

as his challenges. Also I silently hoped they would engage in

conversations with their children who make fun and tease my son about

what autism/ocd is.

>

> Hi all,

>

> I am just plain frustrated with the local police department and

> basically the entire community where I live. Yesterday my son, who

> has been having major behavioral problems lately, was behaving and

> listening very well. He and I went to the laundromat down the

street

> from my apartment. Ricky rode his scooter to the laundromat and

was

> very careful riding it up and down the sidewalk in front of the

> laundromat. He had been doing that for over an hour with no

> problems. Then all of a sudden someone outside decided to scold my

> son for riding his scooter on the sidewalk and yelled at him for

> almost running her over. She yelled at me saying that is was

against

> the law to ride scooters on the sidewalks and that it was a

" walkway

> only " .

>

> I asked her to drop the subject and leave us alone. I was trying

to

> bring Ricky in away from her when he started to yell and cuss her

out

> and then tried to kick her. She proceeded to call the police on

> him. Two police officers came and pretty much chewed me out for

not

> controlling my child. Mind you, MY CHILD was under control and not

> bothering anyone. He said he didn't run her over and I had a

witness

> that said that also. But the police still insisted that I don't

know

> how to control my son and that I should never take him out in

public

> until he can be under control. We are at the library right now and

> he is " under control " .

>

> The police were again blaming me, as many others do, for my son's

> behavior. There are times when you just can't control everything

> that your child does. His behavior can change so quickly

sometimes,

> as some of you may experience with your own children.

>

> I am just tired of the lack of compassion in this world and in my

> community. I would like to know if there is an autism friendly

> community somewhere and if so, I am moving there.

>

> Thanks for listening,

>

>

> MW Ohio

>