Re: Letting it out. & Ideas from Dr.

[Guest guest]

, one thing I can share with you is that even though certain

sounds our children make can bother us and really annoy us, I have

yet to meet a parent who felt completely alienated from their

offspring.

Small moments grow into bigger ones, yes, but there does seem to be a

limit to this growth.

The anticipatory phase of this condition makes it much harder as the

thought of what is about to come is almost as distressing as when it

does come. Recognizing that process and attempting to defuse it

cognitively may help....i.e. I am going to rock my child for bedtime

and I will tell her a story, I am going to concentrate on building a

real picture of that story in my mind and make it so colorful and

read (not reading it but telling it!) that I will be busy doing that

and the sounds will be less bothersome for me.

I also suggest taking turns with Daddy to put to bed. Often Daddies

like to do the put to bed routine. Makes them feel close to their

children.

And pregnancy can exacerbate these symptoms, remember the ear is a

hormone drven system! Yes, just like our skin. Filled with hormone

receptors, one reason why we can cycle up and down with degrees of

sensitivity.

You might benefit from a set of in-the-ear maskers. Inviisble and can

be turned up quite loud and these tiny triggers get buried in the

roar of the ocean-like noise. Not quite fully buried, but immersed.

I would be happy to talk with you about that idea. This is what I

can offer to the 4S sufferer and there are many testimonials as to

the improvement, even if slight.

At this point you don't want to medicate due to your pregnancy. Can

you become the bath person, i.e., give the nightly bath and daddy can

put the little one to bed.....while you enjoy a shower, i.e.....

Try to find places where it is a bit noisy, i.e., parks near streams,

etc so you can all go enjoy as a family places where there are

natural masking features, bike riding is a great one. Limit the car

stuff for a while, or try to combine and create one-trip events where

you do not have to be in the car every day going somewhere. Helps

save gas, too. Pool the trips and instead, spend time outdoors every

day with your daughter, going on nature walks and go pick up some

milk, whatever.

When we move and go about, using our bodies, the impact of these

sounds is much much less. Put on music and dance with your daughter.

Do some exercise workouts every day to help sweat out the anxiety

hormones that are constantly produced in the 4S patient. You all

make your own coffee and adrenaline!

I hope this helps. You are suffering the symptoms that are often the

secret and real fear of every adult with 4S: we love our children and

want to be close with them and our reactions can frighten us.....work

on it and let us know how you do.

Dr. Marsha

[Guest guest]

That is SO true! Sometimes when I wake up the first thing I think of

is " oh I have to hear those noises again " . This is where anti-anxiety

meds do help me. It takes away a bit of the anticipation but that's

it. You gave great advice Dr. ... thanks for looking out for us!

The anticipatory phase of this condition makes it much harder as the

thought of what is about to come is almost as distressing as when it

does come. Recognizing that process and attempting to defuse it

cognitively may help