Re: Teaching how to stop when I say stop

[Guest guest]

e,

I have been there so many times and still am, and you know, I do the same thing with . The 3 word command. knows what stop means. And when he takes off, which if we are outside and not in our fenced in yard with the gate locked, I try to always have a death grip on his hand. He does this all the time. So, 3 words are good and also going after him calmly is really good, because the more you run, the faster they will go. You know what works for us? We have a picture of a stop sign that we got from school last year and I put it up like on the gate leading down into the basement and when he goes near it, I say what does that say and he says stop, I was what does that mean and he says no going down. So, you could try that. It works. Now, if I did not have that picture and I said stop, he would not for a minute stop. I know what you are going through with this. I have been there over and over and over.

Stacie

Hi, all. Today we were outside, and took off. He understands the word stop, as I've seen him obey that "command" before...but not today Remember didn't walk until a couple of months ago (2 in 2 weeks)...so now he is majorly wanting to "run"....We play games with his spinning board saying, "go" "stop" --- He really does seem to understand when it's said that way. I think he's enjoying ignoring me.

How do I teach him to stop...and before you laugh and say, "Good luck1" or the infamous "You just wait" --- please someone try to help me-- I don't need sarcasm I need help!

Ok, so when/if he understands stop and doesn't listen, how do I best "discipline" him…I don't mean punish, I mean teach…

Today when he didn't "listen" --- I took off after him calmly, and when I got to him I explained that he didn't stop (using about two to three words), and then I said, "all done play" --- when he fussed, I said, "next time stop" --- and we practiced stop. If I need to be doing more or doing it differently…please tell me your tricks.

Thanks so much,

e

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[Guest guest]

Hi e, I had real trouble teaching to stop until we started going to a field by our house and playing a game. We would hold hands and run and my husband would yell stop from behind us. I would then stop with me and I would say wait for Daddy. When my husband came up to us we would all high 5 and do it again. This helped teach him not only to stop but to wait for the other person to catch up as well. Good Luck! I know it's scary when they get away from us. Kellie

Subject: Re: Teaching how to "stop" when I say "stop"To: AutismBehaviorProblems Date: Monday, October 13, 2008, 1:40 AM

Hi e,how very scarry for you. I really feel for you on this one. The safety concerns of a mom with a toddler,whew. ..heres where the grey hairs come in,lol. You are a wonderful mom and very on top of things yourself. You have a great approach in teaching and explaining. You might try to think like a coach on this. Perhaps a whistle or little noise maker,toy electronic thing or something similar. It would get his attention. Then go for your loving lesson. I know how difficult it is for kids on the spectrum to respond to us or their names. Sometimes we really need them to look,listen. I would only use a noise maker for teaching/coaching in important or emergency moments so it keeps its novelty. Cheer him on when he makes a goal. Distraction is half the attraction.Best wishes,Tishanne>> > Hi, all. Today we were outside, and took off. He understands the> word stop, as I've seen him obey that "command" before...but not today> Remember didn't walk until a couple of months ago (2 in 2> weeks)...so now he is majorly wanting to "run"....We play games with his> spinning board saying, "go" "stop" --- He really does seem to understand> when it's said that way. I think he's enjoying ignoring me.> > > > How do I teach him to stop...and before you laugh and say, "Good luck1"> or the infamous "You just wait" --- please someone try to help> me-- I don't need sarcasm I need help!> > > > Ok, so when/if he understands stop and doesn't listen, how do I best> "discipline" him…I

don't mean punish, I mean teach…> > > > Today when he didn't "listen" --- I took off after him> calmly, and when I got to him I explained that he didn't stop (using> about two to three words), and then I said, "all done play" ---> when he fussed, I said, "next time stop" --- and we practiced> stop. If I need to be doing more or doing it differently…please> tell me your tricks.> > > > Thanks so much,> > e>

[Guest guest]

When my son was little, we used a ring with cards on them depicting stoplights in various stages--red for stop, yellow for slow down, and green for go behaviors.

Teaching how to "stop" when I say "stop" Posted by: "ljdjd1234" ljdjd1234@... ljdjd1234 Sun Oct 12, 2008 6:01 pm (PDT)

Hi, all. Today we were outside, and took off. He understands theword stop, as I've seen him obey that "command" before...but not today:) Remember didn't walk until a couple of months ago (2 in 2weeks)...so now he is majorly wanting to "run"....We play games with hisspinning board saying, "go" "stop" --- He really does seem to understandwhen it's said that way. I think he's enjoying ignoring me.

How do I teach him to stop...and before you laugh and say, "Good luck1"or the infamous "You just wait" --- please someone try to helpme-- I don't need sarcasm I need help!

Ok, so when/if he understands stop and doesn't listen, how do I best"discipline" him…I don't mean punish, I mean teach…

Today when he didn't "listen" --- I took off after himcalmly, and when I got to him I explained that he didn't stop (usingabout two to three words), and then I said, "all done play" ---when he fussed, I said, "next time stop" --- and we practicedstop. If I need to be doing more or doing it differently…pleasetell me your tricks.

Thanks so much,

e

[Guest guest]

Nice game Kellie,

Another good game to play is " stop and go " when you walk side by side, and walk

together. When you say " stop " you both stop, and when you say " go " you move

together. I

have also used the one where we walk side by side and try to stay together. I

will start

walking faster and faster, and then " stop " .

However, I think your game is a great one! It is a good teaching mode.

Bill

> >

> >

> > Hi, all. Today we were outside, and took off. He understands

> the

> > word stop, as I've seen him obey that " command " before...but not

> today

> > Remember didn't walk until a couple of months ago (2 in 2

> > weeks)...so now he is majorly wanting to " run " ....We play games

> with his

> > spinning board saying, " go " " stop " --- He really does seem to

> understand

> > when it's said that way. I think he's enjoying ignoring me.

> >

> >

> >

> > How do I teach him to stop...and before you laugh and say, " Good

> luck1 "

> > or the infamous " You just wait " --- please someone try to help

> > me-- I don't need sarcasm I need help!

> >

> >

> >

> > Ok, so when/if he understands stop and doesn't listen, how do I best

> > " discipline " him…I don't mean punish, I mean teach…

> >

> >

> >

> > Today when he didn't " listen " --- I took off after him

> > calmly, and when I got to him I explained that he didn't stop (using

> > about two to three words), and then I said, " all done play " ---

> > when he fussed, I said, " next time stop " --- and we practiced

> > stop. If I need to be doing more or doing it differently…please

> > tell me your tricks.

> >

> >

> >

> > Thanks so much,

> >

> > e

> >

>

[Guest guest]

let me know how it goes. Pat K

I'm starting to day, Pat...thanks so much!!!

J

Re: Teaching how to "stop" when I say "stop"

We taught Karac "stop" on walks. If he kept walking we would grab him and pull him back to the stopping place and we would say, "this is stopping" then we would go again. We did it over and over until he learned. Pat K

In a message dated 10/12/2008 8:01:15 P.M. Central Daylight Time, ljdjd1234yahoo (DOT) com writes:

Hi, all. Today we were outside, and took off. He understands the word stop, as I've seen him obey that "command" before...but not today Remember didn't walk until a couple of months ago (2 in 2 weeks)...so now he is majorly wanting to "run"....We play games with his spinning board saying, "go" "stop" --- He really does seem to understand when it's said that way. I think he's enjoying ignoring me.

How do I teach him to stop...and before you laugh and say, "Good luck1" or the infamous "You just wait" --- please someone try to help me-- I don't need sarcasm I need help!

Ok, so when/if he understands stop and doesn't listen, how do I best "discipline" him…I don't mean punish, I mean teach…

Today when he didn't "listen" --- I took off after him calmly, and when I got to him I explained that he didn't stop (using about two to three words), and then I said, "all done play" --- when he fussed, I said, "next time stop" --- and we practiced stop. If I need to be doing more or doing it differently…please tell me your tricks.

Thanks so much,

e

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[Guest guest]

Yes, Tishanne that is my problem...he does NOT listen to his name...especially now that he can walk, he seems more unresponsive than ever (as far as when he's "busy"). So I have a toddler who also loves to stim....he stims by walking back and forth, back and forth or just into oblivion...so when I do call or say "stop" --- He's so into his stimming and intent that I can't get his attention. Scares me. Anyhow a noise maker might work....do the trick...I get what you say about only using it when it's most necessary.

is really stimming lately......he is a visual stimmer, he likes "lateral stimming" ----when he's walking, a good majority of his time is spent looking sideways out of his eyes, so he is definately not focused on stopping and or what I'm saying....I'm trying...but the outside stuff is making me nervous.

Thanks for the tip.

e

Re: Teaching how to "stop" when I say "stop"

Hi e,how very scarry for you. I really feel for you on this one. The safety concerns of a mom with a toddler,whew. ..heres where the grey hairs come in,lol. You are a wonderful mom and very on top of things yourself. You have a great approach in teaching and explaining. You might try to think like a coach on this. Perhaps a whistle or little noise maker,toy electronic thing or something similar. It would get his attention. Then go for your loving lesson. I know how difficult it is for kids on the spectrum to respond to us or their names. Sometimes we really need them to look,listen. I would only use a noise maker for teaching/coaching in important or emergency moments so it keeps its novelty. Cheer him on when he makes a goal. Distraction is half the attraction.Best wishes,Tishanne>> > Hi, all. Today we were outside, and took off. He understands the> word stop, as I've seen him obey that "command" before...but not today> Remember didn't walk until a couple of months ago (2 in 2> weeks)...so now he is majorly wanting to "run"....We play games with his> spinning board saying, "go" "stop" --- He really does seem to understand> when it's said that way. I think he's enjoying ignoring me.> > > > How do I teach him to stop...and before you laugh and say, "Good luck1"> or the infamous "You just wait" --- please someone try to help> me-- I don't need sarcasm I need help!> > > > Ok, so when/if he understands stop and doesn't listen,

how do I best> "discipline" him…I don't mean punish, I mean teach…> > > > Today when he didn't "listen" --- I took off after him> calmly, and when I got to him I explained that he didn't stop (using> about two to three words), and then I said, "all done play" ---> when he fussed, I said, "next time stop" --- and we practiced> stop. If I need to be doing more or doing it differently…please> tell me your tricks.> > > > Thanks so much,> > e>

[Guest guest]

God love you, God love you, God love you!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you!!!!!!!! I forget about the generalizing thing. I think I've been bombarded by so much information in the last 13 months that I truly need to make a simple reminder list of things he struggles with.....yes of course the generalizing thing. I'm overwhelmed with info. Every time he changes and or develops a new talent I have to go back to my drawing board.

My NT daughter (she is 5.5 now) was a talker and a very sensitive little thing.....she had about 100 + words at 18 months...I forget sometimes that cannot be expected nor is he able to understand the things that she did at 2.

You know now that I'm thinking about it............. doesn't say, "stop mommy" when I'm walking away into the kitchen....he just SCREAMS and loudly...........so I guess in a way he doesn't understand stop as it relates to action...OK, done rambling for now...

J

Re: Teaching how to "stop" when I say "stop"

Hi e,At this age, you probably shouldn't assume that your son knew what you meant about "stopping". Stop and go on a spinning board, is not the same thing as stopping an action that a child is impulsively engaged in. Especially at such a young age as him. Also, since he just started walking, running is a new and exciting experience. It is much harder to stop an impulsive, exciting action. Also try and remember, kids on the spectrum have a hard time generalizing from one situation to another. So, they may learn to "stop" on a board game, but not stop on command when running.. They may need to be taught that directly. I think how you handled it was good. Using a supportive, teaching approach. I would demonstrate and then practice stopping to the command ", STOP!". If you think running will be a problem, then have him practice running and then stopping on command, ", Stop!". Use

praise, high five and thumbs up to reward cooperation. I would do this five or six times a session and make it fun. Do this every day for several days.following this training, when he starts to run and you want him to stop, prompt ", stop!". If he does, reward as above. If he doesn't you have two good ways of responding:1. Brief time out from moment. Have him sit for 3 minutes (one minute for each year of age).. If running is rewarding, then sitting is a good consequence.2. Positive practice: Have perform six trials of running, stopping on command, walking back and doing it again.If you want to increase the likelihood that ", Stop!" will generalize to other events (e.g. stop teasing another child, stop for touching something inappropriately. etc.) teach this command under 4 or 5 different situations. Stopping a moment action like running is different then stop teasing of another

person, or stop touching something inappropriately. With kids on the spectrum, don't assume. Teach first before you put on the consequences.Bill>> > Hi, all. Today we were outside, and took off. He understands the> word stop, as I've seen him obey that "command" before...but not today> Remember didn't walk until a couple of months ago (2 in 2 weeks)...so now he is majorly wanting to "run"....We play games with his> spinning board saying, "go" "stop" --- He really does seem to understand> when it's said that way. I think he's enjoying ignoring me.> > > > How do I teach him to stop...and before you laugh

and say, "Good luck1"> or the infamous "You just wait" --- please someone try to help> me-- I don't need sarcasm I need help!> > > > Ok, so when/if he understands stop and doesn't listen, how do I best> "discipline" him…I don't mean punish, I mean teach…> > > > Today when he didn't "listen" --- I took off after him> calmly, and when I got to him I explained that he didn't stop (using> about two to three words), and then I said, "all done play" ---> when he fussed, I said, "next time stop" --- and we practiced> stop. If I need to be doing more or doing it differently…please> tell me your tricks.> > > > Thanks so much,> > e>

[Guest guest]

I'm starting to day, Pat...thanks so much!!!

J

Re: Teaching how to "stop" when I say "stop"

We taught Karac "stop" on walks. If he kept walking we would grab him and pull him back to the stopping place and we would say, "this is stopping" then we would go again. We did it over and over until he learned. Pat K

In a message dated 10/12/2008 8:01:15 P.M. Central Daylight Time, ljdjd1234yahoo (DOT) com writes:

Hi, all. Today we were outside, and took off. He understands the word stop, as I've seen him obey that "command" before...but not today Remember didn't walk until a couple of months ago (2 in 2 weeks)...so now he is majorly wanting to "run"....We play games with his spinning board saying, "go" "stop" --- He really does seem to understand when it's said that way. I think he's enjoying ignoring me.

How do I teach him to stop...and before you laugh and say, "Good luck1" or the infamous "You just wait" --- please someone try to help me-- I don't need sarcasm I need help!

Ok, so when/if he understands stop and doesn't listen, how do I best "discipline" him…I don't mean punish, I mean teach…

Today when he didn't "listen" --- I took off after him calmly, and when I got to him I explained that he didn't stop (using about two to three words), and then I said, "all done play" --- when he fussed, I said, "next time stop" --- and we practiced stop. If I need to be doing more or doing it differently…please tell me your tricks.

Thanks so much,

e

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[Guest guest]

I will do it with my husband and today....Thanks so much..

e

Re: Teaching how to "stop" when I say "stop"To: AutismBehaviorProbl emsyahoogroups (DOT) comDate: Monday, October 13, 2008, 1:40 AM

Hi e,how very scarry for you. I really feel for you on this one. The safety concerns of a mom with a toddler,whew. ..heres where the grey hairs come in,lol. You are a wonderful mom and very on top of things yourself. You have a great approach in teaching and explaining. You might try to think like a coach on this. Perhaps a whistle or little noise maker,toy electronic thing or something similar. It would get his attention. Then go for your loving lesson. I know how difficult it is for kids on the spectrum to respond to us or their names. Sometimes we really need them to look,listen. I would only use a noise maker for teaching/coaching in important or emergency moments so it keeps its novelty. Cheer him on when he makes a goal. Distraction is half the attraction.Best wishes,Tishanne>> > Hi, all. Today we were outside, and took off. He understands the> word stop, as I've seen him obey that "command" before...but not today> Remember didn't walk until a couple of months ago (2 in 2> weeks)...so now he is majorly wanting to "run"....We play games with his> spinning board saying, "go" "stop" --- He really does seem to understand> when it's said that way. I think he's enjoying ignoring me.> > > > How do I teach him to stop...and before you laugh and say, "Good luck1"> or the infamous "You just wait" --- please someone try to help> me-- I don't need sarcasm I need help!> > > > Ok, so when/if he understands stop and doesn't listen,

how do I best> "discipline" him…I don't mean punish, I mean teach…> > > > Today when he didn't "listen" --- I took off after him> calmly, and when I got to him I explained that he didn't stop (using> about two to three words), and then I said, "all done play" ---> when he fussed, I said, "next time stop" --- and we practiced> stop. If I need to be doing more or doing it differently…please> tell me your tricks.> > > > Thanks so much,> > e>

[Guest guest]

Thank you Stacie...

e

Re: Teaching how to "stop" when I say "stop"

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[Guest guest]

I will!

Re: Teaching how to "stop" when I say "stop"

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[Guest guest]

Kathy...so, so informative, and validating. Thank you. My husband and I were just watching him walk through the house... is so busy with his visual stimming that he falls a lot too. I know he's still a toddler and that he just learned to walk, but my point is that the stimming IS getting in the way of him maintaining his balance. He tries to look at the ground and all the shadows, and he feet, and then everything out of the corner of his eye. He's out of it. I agree that he cannot hear his name and the word stop. I get it. I have children at play cones, and will begin to use them for boundries....by the way I would never leave him alone or take my eye off of him for a second....

Good info. Thank you so much.

e

I do know if my son does not have very visual bounderies he does not know when to stop. IT is a sensory thing and they cant hear their name and the word stop.

Re: Teaching how to "stop" when I say "stop"

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[Guest guest]

e,You are not rambling hun! Go on, vent away! Everything you said in this post sounds soooooooo much like ! Except for him not liking to be at the Dr. loves going to the Dr, that is unless he has to get blood drawn or a shot etc then he loves the Dr till he gets on the table and "the position" he is all to familiar with! But being loud like that and screaming like that and just everything! I also do the pressure on the back and ask to use his words or say calm! Yeah, I agree! Giving in does not help anyone and I never do it! I just try to get the heck out of a place if we can or like in a dr office handle it the best I can and believe me, the temptation to give in has been there but I won't allow myself to do that! Take care and I hope all of you have a good day! I am praying!StacieSent via BlackBerry by AT&TDate: Mon, 13 Oct 2008 11:29:34 -0700 (PDT)To: <AutismBehaviorProblems >Subject: Re: Re: Teaching how to "stop" when I say "stop" Oh, it will... We had an appointment with his neurologist today, and talk about a loud, loud, loud time...we had it. wanted my phone "open"...he also wanted to leave the minute we got there...can't say I blame him. Our ABA therapist is stressing that now that we know can use certain words, like "up", "open", etc...we must begin to work on the behavior, i.e. him being "calm" before I give him what he needs, in other words screaming his words at me isn't enough anymore.... Well the beginning of something new is always worse before it is better...When we are in a doctors office, or out in public and especially with Lily (she's home sick today), like we were today at the neurologists, I try to just meet his needs so he won't go ballistic....But I know better, as "giving in" is not helping and actually because he's just 2 and spectrum, it is ridiculously tough sometimes....OK, so he wanted my cell phone open...instead of asking he threw a fit.....I would usually interrupt him and say, " use your words." And he would say it even if he was yelling it...........again ABA therapist now wants for us to wait till he is "calm" for about 10 seconds before we respond (once he's calm for a few seconds or so, we say something like, "thank you for being calm , or good calming...do you want open?" ---- nightmare city!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He refused to say a word...he fell to the floor banging my phone, etc....I rubbed his back and said not one word, and it took him about 5 to 10 minutes (I lost count) to calm and say, "open" ---- my heart was breaking, breaking, along with racing...Lily was a train wreck. I kept thinking maybe I should give in and just open it, but it seems like the more I give in to his tantrums without expecting anything from him, the worse he gets...the more screaming he does. Anyhow...yes participates in visual stimming a bunch.....Actually after we got back from the doctor, and of course he was in sensory overload....he would not stop shaking his head back and forth, back and forth.....that's a visual stim too. I do notice that the more that is expected of him, and we don't expect much, he does need that self regulation more.....we are giving him "appropriate" ways as well...we do lots of OT stuff...jumping, swinging, deep pressure, etc...... He gets about 10 hours a week of ABA, and another 2 of OT, and 1 of speech. I know he's young, but I know he needs intervention....I've tried to balance therapy with 2 yr old fun as well....we do lots outside, go to events that he loves etc.....Also his ABA therapist does a very naturalistic approach...so I know that when she says, we need to nip a certain behavior in the bud, it means we do................................so exhausting. wishing you a wonderful day!!! I'm done rambling...again e Re: Re: Teaching how to "stop" when I say "stop".