Re: What do i do about the crying?

[Guest guest]

Poor fellow my son will cry when he gets frustrated too when he can't do something. I go and give him a hug and kisses and then I try and change the subject and even sometimes tickle him. I'd say redirection might help ease the the crying and to a preferred activity. just my 2 cents.

good luck, it hurts everytime to see it, i know. hang in there.

Jane

To: AutismBehaviorProblems From: sun_flower_1587@...Date: Sat, 29 Nov 2008 07:54:48 -0800Subject: What do i do about the crying?

Ok I noticed some times when my son gets upset about something he starts to pout or cry right after it happens. Like he was on the computer doing some stuff and got upset cause it was a hard game that he couldn't figure it out. And then started crying we tell him that its ok. But some times we can't get him to quit crying.... Is there a way to fix this to help calm better. Windows Live Hotmail now works up to 70% faster. Sign up today.

[Guest guest]

I asked my son who is 11, and does the same thing what we could tell you he just laughed and said when he cried and we try to talk to him if makes him cry more. Maybe a snack would help because it's hard to cry when you are eating something.

Subject: What do i do about the crying?To: AutismBehaviorProblems Date: Saturday, November 29, 2008, 10:54 AM

Ok I noticed some times when my son gets upset about something he starts to pout or cry right after it happens. Like he was on the computer doing some stuff and got upset cause it was a hard game that he couldn't figure it out. And then started crying we tell him that its ok. But some times we can't get him to quit crying.... Is there a way to fix this to help calm better.

[Guest guest]

Hi Lindy,

cries when he can't figure something out and when things don't go like he expects. He won't let you help him make it right - he wants to do it himself. I usually try to redirect him but if I can't and he won't let me show him how to make it work I try to just encourage him. Tell him what great trying and act very excited over what he can do. Usually this helps and he sometimes lets me help eventually. Its really hard but I know that he will grow through this frustration and eventually learn something new. Kellie

Subject: What do i do about the crying?To: AutismBehaviorProblems Date: Saturday, November 29, 2008, 3:54 PM

Ok I noticed some times when my son gets upset about something he starts to pout or cry right after it happens. Like he was on the computer doing some stuff and got upset cause it was a hard game that he couldn't figure it out. And then started crying we tell him that its ok. But some times we can't get him to quit crying.... Is there a way to fix this to help calm better.

[Guest guest]

Lindy,

Trying to help the child when he is upset often makes him more upset, or gives

him

attention that reinforces his crying. There is nothing wrong with crying. I

would ask him

if wants help. If he chooses not to accept the help, I would tell him " that's

ok, if you do

need help let me know and I will help. " From there I would turn away and give

him

minimal attention until he calms.

Teaching him other ways to deal with frustration is difficult when he is in the

middle of

being upset. I would sit down with him when he is calm and talk about what he

might do

when he is upset. Decide what avenue (e.g. ask for help, etc) would be good for

him when

frustrated. Then practice the response daily. Practice and role play

situations that

frequently upset him. Do this when he is calm and praise all cooperation.

This way you

can teach the appropriate response when calm. Once established, then you can

redirect

him to this response when he starts to get upset. Make sure there is plenty of

praise and

reward for accepting the redirection.

Bill

>

> Ok I noticed some times when my son gets upset about something he starts to

pout or

cry right after it happens.   Like he was on the computer doing some stuff and

got upset

cause it was a hard game that he couldn't figure it out. And then started

crying we tell him

that its ok.  But some times we can't get him to quit crying.... Is there a way

to fix this to

help calm better. 

>

[Guest guest]

Very good ideas Bill

My son is 12 and still cries easily. We spent YEARS talking/role playing

strategies (when he was calm)

My son is quick to cry and fly off the handle; but there really is hope!

He did get better at self talk and can most of the time redirect

himself! Except for situations dealing with " technology " then he still

hits/throws things. Sigh!

But I think a really good point you made was not to make the crying a

" problem "

because with my son it was making the situation worse by scolding him

for crying and then he just cried harder!

In school his crying became the sole focus of things and it was just

like they added more problems on top of problems. So, now we homeschool

and he is making progress.

Allie

[Guest guest]

Yes, once you know the child is safe, if he refuses to calm with your support,

it is best to

not feed the fire. Attention that is not effective, is not constructive.

Bill

>

> Very good ideas Bill

> My son is 12 and still cries easily. We spent YEARS talking/role playing

> strategies (when he was calm)

> My son is quick to cry and fly off the handle; but there really is hope!

> He did get better at self talk and can most of the time redirect

> himself! Except for situations dealing with " technology " then he still

> hits/throws things. Sigh!

> But I think a really good point you made was not to make the crying a

> " problem "

> because with my son it was making the situation worse by scolding him

> for crying and then he just cried harder!

> In school his crying became the sole focus of things and it was just

> like they added more problems on top of problems. So, now we homeschool

> and he is making progress.

>

> Allie

>

[Guest guest]

's ABA therapist recommends waiting until is calm until we talk. Easier said than done...but he is learning. He's young though, so I have no idea how it will work as he gets older. Obviously I meet the need when he's hurt, and or is thirsty, but if he's having a fit just because he's unhappy with something, and what I do does not work...I have to just let him be and let it pass...obviously he is not physical yet...if and when that's when it becomes hard, and scary to just let them work it out....It's so hard.

J

To: AutismBehaviorProblems Sent: Saturday, November 29, 2008 10:59:30 PMSubject: Re: What do i do about the crying?

Yes, once you know the child is safe, if he refuses to calm with your support, it is best to not feed the fire. Attention that is not effective, is not constructive.Bill>> Very good ideas Bill> My son is 12 and still cries easily. We spent YEARS talking/role playing> strategies (when he was calm)> My son is quick to cry and fly off the handle; but there really is hope! > He did get better at self talk and can most of the time redirect> himself! Except for situations dealing with "technology" then he still> hits/throws things. Sigh!> But I think a really good point you made was not to make the crying a> "problem"> because with my son it was

making the situation worse by scolding him> for crying and then he just cried harder!> In school his crying became the sole focus of things and it was just> like they added more problems on top of problems. So, now we homeschool> and he is making progress.> > Allie>

[Guest guest]

I love that, "attention that is not effective, is not constructive." I'll add that to my repertoire! Pat K

Yes, once you know the child is safe, if he refuses to calm with your support, it is best to not feed the fire. Attention that is not effective, is not constructive.Bill>> Very good ideas Bill> My son is 12 and still cries easily. We spent YEARS talking/role playing> strategies (when he was calm)> My son is quick to cry and fly off the handle; but there really is hope! > He did get better at self talk and can most of the time redirect> himself! Except for situations dealing with "technology" then he still> hits/throws things. Sigh!> But I think a really good point you made was not to make the crying a> "problem"> because with my son it was making the situation worse by scolding him> for crying and then he just cried harder!> In school his crying became the sole focus of things and it was just> like they added more problems on top of problems. So, now we homeschool> and he is making progress.> > Allie> Life should be easier. So should your homepage. Try the NEW AOL.com.

[Guest guest]

Well if you can spell the word repertoire, you should need to add anything to

it....lol.

Bill

> >

> > Very good ideas Bill

> > My son is 12 and still cries easily. We spent YEARS talking/role playing

> > strategies (when he was calm)

> > My son is quick to cry and fly off the handle; but there really is hope!

> > He did get better at self talk and can most of the time redirect

> > himself! Except for situations dealing with " technology " then he still

> > hits/throws things. Sigh!

> > But I think a really good point you made was not to make the crying a

> > " problem "

> > because with my son it was making the situation worse by scolding him

> > for crying and then he just cried harder!

> > In school his crying became the sole focus of things and it was just

> > like they added more problems on top of problems. So, now we homeschool

> > and he is making progress.

> >

> > Allie

> >

>

>

>

>

> **************Life should be easier. So should your homepage. Try the NEW

> AOL.com.

> (http://www.aol.com/?optin=new-

dp & icid=aolcom40vanity & ncid=emlcntaolcom00000002)

>

[Guest guest]

Well if you can spell the word repertoire, you should need to add anything to

it....lol.

Bill

> >

> > Very good ideas Bill

> > My son is 12 and still cries easily. We spent YEARS talking/role playing

> > strategies (when he was calm)

> > My son is quick to cry and fly off the handle; but there really is hope!

> > He did get better at self talk and can most of the time redirect

> > himself! Except for situations dealing with " technology " then he still

> > hits/throws things. Sigh!

> > But I think a really good point you made was not to make the crying a

> > " problem "

> > because with my son it was making the situation worse by scolding him

> > for crying and then he just cried harder!

> > In school his crying became the sole focus of things and it was just

> > like they added more problems on top of problems. So, now we homeschool

> > and he is making progress.

> >

> > Allie

> >

>

>

>

>

> **************Life should be easier. So should your homepage. Try the NEW

> AOL.com.

> (http://www.aol.com/?optin=new-

dp & icid=aolcom40vanity & ncid=emlcntaolcom00000002)

>

[Guest guest]

My son is 11 with non-verbal Autism and he will just start crying for no "apparent" reason. When we ask him what's wrong, he cries harder and gets frustrated. It's really hard not knowing what is making him so upset. He is pretty inconsolable when he's upset and frustrated. We try to divert his attention if we feel it's something that he's watching or playing with that's upsetting him. That works most times.

JESUS IS COMING SOON!!!Are You Ready???

[Guest guest]

my son is 6 and we are going through this now. he has autism and adhd. he was doing it sometimes at night and he will not express what is bothering him. but now that he is on addarall 5mg i do see it more and some tantrums and he never wants me to leave him all of a sudden. he will go in his room and take all the cover off the bed and take all his clothes out of the drawers for no reason. i am not sure what to do either.

Subject: Re: Re: What do i do about the crying?To: AutismBehaviorProblems Date: Saturday, November 29, 2008, 9:28 PM

Very good ideas BillMy son is 12 and still cries easily. We spent YEARS talking/role playingstrategies (when he was calm)My son is quick to cry and fly off the handle; but there really is hope! He did get better at self talk and can most of the time redirecthimself! Except for situations dealing with "technology" then he stillhits/throws things. Sigh!But I think a really good point you made was not to make the crying a"problem"because with my son it was making the situation worse by scolding himfor crying and then he just cried harder!In school his crying became the sole focus of things and it was justlike they added more problems on top of problems. So, now we homeschooland he is making progress.Allie

[Guest guest]

Well my thing was when he started it that it might have been his ear. He has this ear that has been draning like crazy. They finally gave me this medican that is supose to dry it up and but i can never tell if he is in pain with it an thats why is crying. Or its cause he got upset that a video wouldn't work right on Nick Jr. So I hope i do the right thing when i'm trying to hold him and confert him. I even trying to redirect him to something else on the Nickjr but he goes right back to it. I guess some times they just have a bad day just like us and break down crying.

From: allie340webtv (DOT) net <allie340webtv (DOT) net>Subject: Re: Re: What do i do about the crying?To: AutismBehaviorProbl emsyahoogroups (DOT) comDate: Saturday, November 29, 2008, 9:28 PM

Very good ideas BillMy son is 12 and still cries easily. We spent YEARS talking/role playingstrategies (when he was calm)My son is quick to cry and fly off the handle; but there really is hope! He did get better at self talk and can most of the time redirecthimself! Except for situations dealing with "technology" then he stillhits/throws things. Sigh!But I think a really good point you made was not to make the crying a"problem"because with my son it was making the situation worse by scolding himfor crying and then he just cried harder!In school his crying became the sole focus of things and it was justlike they added more problems on top of problems. So, now we homeschooland he is making progress.Allie

[Guest guest]

My Daughter is almost 8 now and high functioning. With therapy she

has come a long way but still cries or gets mad (rage) when she is

frustrated. We give he DMG available at health food stores. It isn't

a magic pill but we notice it helps. The other responses people have

given are great. We use a social story " when you want something ask

nice " or " it is okay if you come in second " . We still have to work

with her on this all the time and I hope that the outbreaks will lessen.