Re: Opposite behavior problems.....

[Guest guest]

Wow- everything i just read reminds me of my 3 year old . I wish i had advice for you. I need advice too.

Janice

To: AutismBehaviorProblems Sent: Monday, December 8, 2008 10:00:26 AMSubject: Opposite behavior problems.....

Hi I have a 5 yr old son with mild autism and he is in an AI program at one of the local schools. He usually is very mild mannered but the last 4 or 5 months he has had some bad behaviors and lately it has gotten so bad that I hate taking him out in public. I am searching for as much info as I can get....what seems to be the problem is that he wants to control EVERYTHING around him and any negetive words will set him off...like "no" "don't" "stop"...what he does is scream if he cann't get his way and if you say something he says the exact opposite of what you tell him. Example...he wanted my camera and I told him "no it's mom's...get Everett's camera....and he just went balistic. Screaming, grabbing for the camera, saying yes mama's camera.... I finially hid my camera and couldn't take pictures because he was so bad and I couldn't get it in his head that it was off limits. I don't know how to disipline him I guess is what I'm getting at...how

doyou teach without haveing meltdowns?? And he won't listen...

[Guest guest]

ok so when you find something out you email me and if I find something out I will email you. Sound good? Good luck and I'll keep looking.

Subject: Re: Opposite behavior problems.....To: AutismBehaviorProblems Date: Monday, December 8, 2008, 2:15 PM

Wow- everything i just read reminds me of my 3 year old . I wish i had advice for you. I need advice too.

Janice

From: Bierl <sandracowgirl@ yahoo.com>To: AutismBehaviorProbl emsyahoogroups (DOT) comSent: Monday, December 8, 2008 10:00:26 AMSubject: Opposite behavior problems.... .

Hi I have a 5 yr old son with mild autism and he is in an AI program at one of the local schools. He usually is very mild mannered but the last 4 or 5 months he has had some bad behaviors and lately it has gotten so bad that I hate taking him out in public. I am searching for as much info as I can get....what seems to be the problem is that he wants to control EVERYTHING around him and any negetive words will set him off...like "no" "don't" "stop"...what he does is scream if he cann't get his way and if you say something he says the exact opposite of what you tell him. Example...he wanted my camera and I told him "no it's mom's...get Everett's camera....and he just went balistic. Screaming, grabbing for the camera, saying yes mama's camera.... I finially hid my camera and couldn't take pictures because he was so bad and I couldn't get it in his head that it was off limits. I don't know how to disipline him I guess is what I'm getting at...how

doyou teach without haveing meltdowns?? And he won't listen...

[Guest guest]

Sounds good! I'm always doing research on the web too.

To: AutismBehaviorProblems Sent: Monday, December 8, 2008 2:36:14 PMSubject: Re: Opposite behavior problems.....

ok so when you find something out you email me and if I find something out I will email you. Sound good? Good luck and I'll keep looking.

From: Janice <ryansmommy926@ yahoo.com>Subject: Re: Opposite behavior problems.... .To: AutismBehaviorProbl emsyahoogroups (DOT) comDate: Monday, December 8, 2008, 2:15 PM

Wow- everything i just read reminds me of my 3 year old . I wish i had advice for you. I need advice too.

Janice

From: Bierl <sandracowgirl@ yahoo.com>To: AutismBehaviorProbl emsyahoogroups (DOT) comSent: Monday, December 8, 2008 10:00:26 AMSubject: Opposite behavior problems.... .

Hi I have a 5 yr old son with mild autism and he is in an AI program at one of the local schools. He usually is very mild mannered but the last 4 or 5 months he has had some bad behaviors and lately it has gotten so bad that I hate taking him out in public. I am searching for as much info as I can get....what seems to be the problem is that he wants to control EVERYTHING around him and any negetive words will set him off...like "no" "don't" "stop"...what he does is scream if he cann't get his way and if you say something he says the exact opposite of what you tell him. Example...he wanted my camera and I told him "no it's mom's...get Everett's camera....and he just went balistic. Screaming, grabbing for the camera, saying yes mama's camera.... I finially hid my camera and couldn't take pictures because he was so bad and I couldn't get it in his head that it was off limits. I don't know how to disipline him I guess is what I'm getting at...how

doyou teach without haveing meltdowns?? And he won't listen...

[Guest guest]

i am a single mom too and have only the one 15 year old daughter who has autism. her oppositional behavior became very apparent at the age of 6 and although it's never been diagnostically confirmed, she has oppositional defiance disorder. i have been on the verge of many breakdowns and the only thing that works for my daughter is medication. she still has trouble but it's so much less often and less extreme. contact me off the list if you have any questions.

Make your life easier with all your friends, email, and favorite sites in one place. Try it now.

[Guest guest]

He sounds like my 6 year old son . He has mild autism as well and ADHD. He really doesn't do the screaming but he will fall out if he cant get his way. At therapy today he did the opposite of everything they told him to do, they said that today was his worst day ever. i have no clue what to do either. he is in private school on the Mc Kay scholarship and his teacher has no clue what to do with him! They are nice and treat him very well but they can not teach him and really no schools in duval county have been able to as of yet. He still ca not read, write, but he is verbal. he receives st, ot, pt. but that is not enough. someone help me I am about to scream. i am a single parent with 2 year old twins as well. And i need someone that can relate to me and my life and for people to stop suggesting all these things that they do as husband and wife, or when making six figures, etc... i want to

talk to a regular person that works 50 plus hours a day like me to make ends meet, goes to therapy and doctors appointments alone, runs the household, is on the verge of a nervous break down like me. they put on Addreall and he has crying spells for no reason and he is on the lowest dosage 5Mg, and yet and still everyone has an opinion about that but they Can not deal with him w/o the med! i am going insane!!!!!!!!! what do we do, i do? HELP ME i am at my Witt's ends!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i am so sorry this was about your son and i took over.

Subject: Re: Opposite behavior problems.....To: AutismBehaviorProblems Date: Monday, December 8, 2008, 7:15 PM

Wow- everything i just read reminds me of my 3 year old . I wish i had advice for you. I need advice too.

Janice

From: Bierl <sandracowgirl@ yahoo.com>To: AutismBehaviorProbl emsyahoogroups (DOT) comSent: Monday, December 8, 2008 10:00:26 AMSubject: Opposite behavior problems.... .

Hi I have a 5 yr old son with mild autism and he is in an AI program at one of the local schools. He usually is very mild mannered but the last 4 or 5 months he has had some bad behaviors and lately it has gotten so bad that I hate taking him out in public. I am searching for as much info as I can get....what seems to be the problem is that he wants to control EVERYTHING around him and any negetive words will set him off...like "no" "don't" "stop"...what he does is scream if he cann't get his way and if you say something he says the exact opposite of what you tell him. Example...he wanted my camera and I told him "no it's mom's...get Everett's camera....and he just went balistic. Screaming, grabbing for the camera, saying yes mama's camera.... I finially hid my camera and couldn't take pictures because he was so bad and I couldn't get it in his head that it was off limits. I don't know how to disipline him I guess is what I'm getting at...how

doyou teach without haveing meltdowns?? And he won't listen...

[Guest guest]

Hi!

I posted this resource before... but it never gets old.

Re: explosive behavior/meltdowns/rages/"non-compliance"/inflexibility/tantrums...

We have a 13 year old with a history of some of the worst behaviors you can imagine (severe aggression, destruction, self-injury, etc.).

After years of attempting to change his behaviors through intensive instructional programs with a foundation in coercion (ABA/behavior-analytic programming, rewards/punishment, etc.) with only worsening conditions as a result, we discovered Dr. Ross Greene & Dr. Stuart Ablon's program for reducing meltdowns: "Collaborative Problem Solving."

We used to think the ends justified the means... but we were wrong and our son suffered greatly as a result.

The website is www.explosivechild.com

It's a completely different way of seeing our children. As boys and girls who are trying their best with "the brain they have." It's an approach that's all about "doing with" vs. "doing to."

Here is some info:

Definition of a Meltdown: A meltdown – like other forms of disadvantageous behavior – occurs when the cognitive demands being placed upon a person outstrip the person’s capacity to respond adaptively.

Explosive/noncompliant behavior may be best understood as the byproduct of incompatibility between characteristics of a given child and characteristics of his or her environment.

Dr. Greene teaches that children with explosive/noncompliant behavior have specific learning deficits/disabilities in one or more of these core areas, he calls “Pathway Deficits.”

Explosive/noncompliant behavior rarely occurs outside the presence of these pathway deficits – and it is the pathways that set in motion the cognitive skill deficits to the development of oppositional, deviant behavior.

Explosive/noncompliant behavior may best be understood as a failure to progress developmentally (i.e., a learning disability) rather than as a goal-oriented form of behavior.

Pathway Deficits (SKILL DEFICITS TARGETED IN APPROACH)

Executive skills

u Difficulty shifting cognitive set

u Difficulty with time and sequencing

u Disorganized thinking

u Impulsive, non-reflective thinking

u Poor working memory (multi-tasking)

u Poor separation of affect (staying calm enough to think)

u Poor problem-solving

Social Skills

u Difficulty attending to appropriate social cues/appreciating social nuance

u Inaccurate interpretation of social cues

u Poor repertoire of social responses

u Poor anticipation of the likely outcomes of social responses

u Poor sense of how one’s behavior is affecting others

u Poor or inaccurate self-perception

u Inability to appreciate another’s perspective.

Language Processing

u Poor categorizing and labeling of emotions

u Difficulty communicating one’s needs or problems

u Poor language-based problem-solving skills

u Inefficient linguistic give and take

u Inefficient comprehension of incoming linguistic stimuli

Emotion Regulation

u Cranky, grouchy, grumpy, irritable

u Anxious, nervous, worried, fearful, obsessive

u Low energy, fatigued

Cognitive Inflexibility/Adaptability

u Concrete, black and white, literal thinking and problem-solving

u Insistence on sticking with rules, routine

u Preference for predictability does poorly in circumstances of unpredictability

u Ignores situational factors

Sensory/Motor

u Hypersensitive – over sensitive to sound, taste, smell, vision

u Hyposensitive – takes a lot of stimulation to sense stimuli

u Motor deficits/dysfunction

_______________________________________________________

The Approach

The impetus for the Collaborative Problem Solving (CPS) approach came from an awareness that behaviorally difficult children and adolescents are frequently poorly understood; that standard approaches to treatment often do not satisfactorily address their needs (and often worsen their difficulties); and that, as a result, many such children have very adversarial interactions with parents, teachers, siblings, and peers and are at risk for poor long-term outcomes. This scenario causes immense distress to all concerned. Standard approaches typically conceive difficult behavior as willful and goal-oriented, suggest that inept parenting practices are the primary factor giving rise to such behavior, and rely heavily on use of reward and punishment programs to induce greater compliance with adult directives.

The CPS model – which was first articulated in the book, The Explosive Child – proposes that difficult behavior should be understood and handled in the same manner as other recognized learning disabilities. In other words, difficult children and adolescents lack some crucial cognitive and emotional skills essential to handling frustration and mastering situations requiring flexibility and adaptability. The guiding philosophy of CPS – “Children do well if they can” -- epitomizes this view. Naturally, if a child is lacking crucial cognitive skills, the goal of intervention is to teach those skills. CPS helps difficult children and their adult caretakers, classmates, and siblings, learn to work toward mutually satisfactory solutions to problems, thereby enhancing flexibility and frustration tolerance in both interaction partners.

I can elaborate further for anyone who is interested...

Best wishes,

Debra

To: AutismBehaviorProblems From: sandracowgirl@...Date: Mon, 8 Dec 2008 07:00:26 -0800Subject: Opposite behavior problems.....

Hi I have a 5 yr old son with mild autism and he is in an AI program at one of the local schools. He usually is very mild mannered but the last 4 or 5 months he has had some bad behaviors and lately it has gotten so bad that I hate taking him out in public. I am searching for as much info as I can get....what seems to be the problem is that he wants to control EVERYTHING around him and any negetive words will set him off...like "no" "don't" "stop"...what he does is scream if he cann't get his way and if you say something he says the exact opposite of what you tell him. Example...he wanted my camera and I told him "no it's mom's...get Everett's camera....and he just went balistic. Screaming, grabbing for the camera, saying yes mama's camera.... I finially hid my camera and couldn't take pictures because he was so bad and I couldn't get it in his head that it was off limits. I don't know how to disipline him I guess is what I'm getting at...how doyou teach without haveing meltdowns?? And he won't listen... Send e-mail faster without improving your typing skills. Get your Hotmail® account.

[Guest guest]

Hi Debra...thanks so much for the info. I am checking it out now.

Sandy

Subject: RE: Opposite behavior problems.....To: autismbehaviorproblems Date: Tuesday, December 9, 2008, 9:01 PM

Hi! I posted this resource before... but it never gets old. Re: explosive behavior/meltdowns/ rages/"non- compliance" /inflexibility/ tantrums. .. We have a 13 year old with a history of some of the worst behaviors you can imagine (severe aggression, destruction, self-injury, etc.). After years of attempting to change his behaviors through intensive instructional programs with a foundation in coercion (ABA/behavior- analytic programming, rewards/punishment, etc.) with only worsening conditions as a result, we discovered Dr. Ross Greene & Dr. Stuart Ablon's program for reducing meltdowns: "Collaborative Problem Solving." We used to think the ends justified the means... but we were wrong and our son suffered greatly as a result. The website is www.explosivechild. com It's a completely different way of seeing our children. As boys and girls who are trying their best with "the brain they have." It's an approach that's all about "doing with" vs. "doing to." Here is some info:

Definition of a Meltdown: A meltdown – like other forms of disadvantageous behavior – occurs when the cognitive demands being placed upon a person outstrip the person’s capacity to respond adaptively.

Explosive/noncompli ant behavior may be best understood as the byproduct of incompatibility between characteristics of a given child and characteristics of his or her environment.

Dr. Greene teaches that children with explosive/noncompli ant behavior have specific learning deficits/disabiliti es in one or more of these core areas, he calls “Pathway Deficits.”

Explosive/noncompli ant behavior rarely occurs outside the presence of these pathway deficits – and it is the pathways that set in motion the cognitive skill deficits to the development of oppositional, deviant behavior.

Explosive/noncompli ant behavior may best be understood as a failure to progress developmentally (i.e., a learning disability) rather than as a goal-oriented form of behavior.

Pathway Deficits (SKILL DEFICITS TARGETED IN APPROACH)

Executive skills

u Difficulty shifting cognitive set

u Difficulty with time and sequencing

u Disorganized thinking

u Impulsive, non-reflective thinking

u Poor working memory (multi-tasking)

u Poor separation of affect (staying calm enough to think)

u Poor problem-solving

Social Skills

u Difficulty attending to appropriate social cues/appreciating social nuance

u Inaccurate interpretation of social cues

u Poor repertoire of social responses

u Poor anticipation of the likely outcomes of social responses

u Poor sense of how one’s behavior is affecting others

u Poor or inaccurate self-perception

u Inability to appreciate another’s perspective.

Language Processing

u Poor categorizing and labeling of emotions

u Difficulty communicating one’s needs or problems

u Poor language-based problem-solving skills

u Inefficient linguistic give and take

u Inefficient comprehension of incoming linguistic stimuli

Emotion Regulation

u Cranky, grouchy, grumpy, irritable

u Anxious, nervous, worried, fearful, obsessive

u Low energy, fatigued

Cognitive Inflexibility/ Adaptability

u Concrete, black and white, literal thinking and problem-solving

u Insistence on sticking with rules, routine

u Preference for predictability does poorly in circumstances of unpredictability

u Ignores situational factors

Sensory/Motor

u Hypersensitive – over sensitive to sound, taste, smell, vision

u Hyposensitive – takes a lot of stimulation to sense stimuli

u Motor deficits/dysfunctio n

____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _______

The Approach

The impetus for the Collaborative Problem Solving (CPS) approach came from an awareness that behaviorally difficult children and adolescents are frequently poorly understood; that standard approaches to treatment often do not satisfactorily address their needs (and often worsen their difficulties) ; and that, as a result, many such children have very adversarial interactions with parents, teachers, siblings, and peers and are at risk for poor long-term outcomes. This scenario causes immense distress to all concerned. Standard approaches typically conceive difficult behavior as willful and goal-oriented, suggest that inept parenting practices are the primary factor giving rise to such behavior, and rely heavily on use of reward and punishment programs to induce greater compliance with adult directives.

The CPS model – which was first articulated in the book, The Explosive Child – proposes that difficult behavior should be understood and handled in the same manner as other recognized learning disabilities. In other words, difficult children and adolescents lack some crucial cognitive and emotional skills essential to handling frustration and mastering situations requiring flexibility and adaptability. The guiding philosophy of CPS – “Children do well if they can” -- epitomizes this view. Naturally, if a child is lacking crucial cognitive skills, the goal of intervention is to teach those skills. CPS helps difficult children and their adult caretakers, classmates, and siblings, learn to work toward mutually

satisfactory solutions to problems, thereby enhancing flexibility and frustration tolerance in both interaction partners.

I can elaborate further for anyone who is interested.. . Best wishes,Debra

To: AutismBehaviorProbl emsyahoogroups (DOT) comFrom: sandracowgirl@ yahoo.comDate: Mon, 8 Dec 2008 07:00:26 -0800Subject: Opposite behavior problems.... .

Hi I have a 5 yr old son with mild autism and he is in an AI program at one of the local schools. He usually is very mild mannered but the last 4 or 5 months he has had some bad behaviors and lately it has gotten so bad that I hate taking him out in public. I am searching for as much info as I can get....what seems to be the problem is that he wants to control EVERYTHING around him and any negetive words will set him off...like "no" "don't" "stop"...what he does is scream if he cann't get his way and if you say something he says the exact opposite of what you tell him. Example...he wanted my camera and I told him "no it's mom's...get Everett's camera....and he just went balistic. Screaming, grabbing for the camera, saying yes mama's camera.... I finially hid my camera and couldn't take pictures because he was so bad and I couldn't get it in his head that it was off limits. I don't know how to disipline him I guess is what I'm getting

at...how doyou teach without haveing meltdowns?? And he won't listen...

Send e-mail faster without improving your typing skills. Get your Hotmail® account.

[Guest guest]

Great! Also check out:

www.explosivekids.org developed by the Foundation for Children with Behavioral Challenges.

Great resource

-Debra

To: AutismBehaviorProblems From: sandracowgirl@...Date: Tue, 9 Dec 2008 19:03:13 -0800Subject: RE: Opposite behavior problems.....

Hi Debra...thanks so much for the info. I am checking it out now.

Sandy

From: Debra White <debrawhite2128hotmail>Subject: RE: Opposite behavior problems.....To: autismbehaviorproblems Date: Tuesday, December 9, 2008, 9:01 PM

Hi! I posted this resource before... but it never gets old. Re: explosive behavior/meltdowns/ rages/"non- compliance" /inflexibility/ tantrums. .. We have a 13 year old with a history of some of the worst behaviors you can imagine (severe aggression, destruction, self-injury, etc.). After years of attempting to change his behaviors through intensive instructional programs with a foundation in coercion (ABA/behavior- analytic programming, rewards/punishment, etc.) with only worsening conditions as a result, we discovered Dr. Ross Greene & Dr. Stuart Ablon's program for reducing meltdowns: "Collaborative Problem Solving." We used to think the ends justified the means... but we were wrong and our son suffered greatly as a result. The website is www.explosivechild. com It's a completely different way of seeing our children. As boys and girls who are trying their best with "the brain they have." It's an approach that's all about "doing with" vs. "doing to." Here is some info:

Definition of a Meltdown: A meltdown – like other forms of disadvantageous behavior – occurs when the cognitive demands being placed upon a person outstrip the person’s capacity to respond adaptively.

Explosive/noncompli ant behavior may be best understood as the byproduct of incompatibility between characteristics of a given child and characteristics of his or her environment.

Dr. Greene teaches that children with explosive/noncompli ant behavior have specific learning deficits/disabiliti es in one or more of these core areas, he calls “Pathway Deficits.” Explosive/noncompli ant behavior rarely occurs outside the presence of these pathway deficits – and it is the pathways that set in motion the cognitive skill deficits to the development of oppositional, deviant behavior. Explosive/noncompli ant behavior may best be understood as a failure to progress developmentally (i.e., a learning disability) rather than as a goal-oriented form of behavior. Pathway Deficits (SKILL DEFICITS TARGETED IN APPROACH) Executive skills u Difficulty shifting cognitive set u Difficulty with time and sequencing u Disorganized thinking u Impulsive, non-reflective thinking u Poor working memory (multi-tasking) u Poor separation of affect (staying calm enough to think) u Poor problem-solving Social Skills u Difficulty attending to appropriate social cues/appreciating social nuance u Inaccurate interpretation of social cues u Poor repertoire of social responses u Poor anticipation of the likely outcomes of social responses u Poor sense of how one’s behavior is affecting others u Poor or inaccurate self-perception u Inability to appreciate another’s perspective. Language Processing u Poor categorizing and labeling of emotions u Difficulty communicating one’s needs or problems u Poor language-based problem-solving skills u Inefficient linguistic give and take u Inefficient comprehension of incoming linguistic stimuli Emotion Regulation u Cranky, grouchy, grumpy, irritable u Anxious, nervous, worried, fearful, obsessive u Low energy, fatigued Cognitive Inflexibility/ Adaptability u Concrete, black and white, literal thinking and problem-solving u Insistence on sticking with rules, routine u Preference for predictability does poorly in circumstances of unpredictability u Ignores situational factors Sensory/Motor u Hypersensitive – over sensitive to sound, taste, smell, vision u Hyposensitive – takes a lot of stimulation to sense stimuli u Motor deficits/dysfunctio n ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _______ The Approach The impetus for the Collaborative Problem Solving (CPS) approach came from an awareness that behaviorally difficult children and adolescents are frequently poorly understood; that standard approaches to treatment often do not satisfactorily address their needs (and often worsen their difficulties) ; and that, as a result, many such children have very adversarial interactions with parents, teachers, siblings, and peers and are at risk for poor long-term outcomes. This scenario causes immense distress to all concerned. Standard approaches typically conceive difficult behavior as willful and goal-oriented, suggest that inept parenting practices are the primary factor giving rise to such behavior, and rely heavily on use of reward and punishment programs to induce greater compliance with adult directives. The CPS model – which was first articulated in the book, The Explosive Child – proposes that difficult behavior should be understood and handled in the same manner as other recognized learning disabilities. In other words, difficult children and adolescents lack some crucial cognitive and emotional skills essential to handling frustration and mastering situations requiring flexibility and adaptability. The guiding philosophy of CPS – “Children do well if they can” -- epitomizes this view. Naturally, if a child is lacking crucial cognitive skills, the goal of intervention is to teach those skills. CPS helps difficult children and their adult caretakers, classmates, and siblings, learn to work toward mutually satisfactory solutions to problems, thereby enhancing flexibility and frustration tolerance in both interaction partners.

I can elaborate further for anyone who is interested.. . Best wishes,Debra

To: AutismBehaviorProbl emsyahoogroups (DOT) comFrom: sandracowgirl@ yahoo.comDate: Mon, 8 Dec 2008 07:00:26 -0800Subject: Opposite behavior problems.... .

Hi I have a 5 yr old son with mild autism and he is in an AI program at one of the local schools. He usually is very mild mannered but the last 4 or 5 months he has had some bad behaviors and lately it has gotten so bad that I hate taking him out in public. I am searching for as much info as I can get....what seems to be the problem is that he wants to control EVERYTHING around him and any negetive words will set him off...like "no" "don't" "stop"...what he does is scream if he cann't get his way and if you say something he says the exact opposite of what you tell him. Example...he wanted my camera and I told him "no it's mom's...get Everett's camera....and he just went balistic. Screaming, grabbing for the camera, saying yes mama's camera.... I finially hid my camera and couldn't take pictures because he was so bad and I couldn't get it in his head that it was off limits. I don't know how to disipline him I guess is what I'm getting at...how doyou teach without haveing meltdowns?? And he won't listen...

Send e-mail faster without improving your typing skills. Get your Hotmail® account. You live life online. So we put Windows on the web. Learn more about Windows Live

[Guest guest]

I thank you too Debra...I've saved it just in case....and also have forwarded the link to a friend (link only, no other info, as I totally respect privacy...)

Thanks again,

e

To: autismbehaviorproblems Sent: Tuesday, December 9, 2008 9:21:35 PMSubject: RE: Opposite behavior problems.....

Great! Also check out: www.explosivekids. org developed by the Foundation for Children with Behavioral Challenges. Great resource -Debra

To: AutismBehaviorProbl emsyahoogroups (DOT) comFrom: sandracowgirl@ yahoo.comDate: Tue, 9 Dec 2008 19:03:13 -0800Subject: RE: Opposite behavior problems.... .

Hi Debra...thanks so much for the info. I am checking it out now.

Sandy

From: Debra White <debrawhite2128@ hotmail.com>Subject: RE: Opposite behavior problems.... .To: autismbehaviorprobl emsyahoogroups (DOT) comDate: Tuesday, December 9, 2008, 9:01 PM

Hi! I posted this resource before... but it never gets old. Re: explosive behavior/meltdowns/ rages/"non- compliance" /inflexibility/ tantrums. .. We have a 13 year old with a history of some of the worst behaviors you can imagine (severe aggression, destruction, self-injury, etc.). After years of attempting to change his behaviors through intensive instructional programs with a foundation in coercion (ABA/behavior- analytic programming, rewards/punishment, etc.) with only worsening conditions as a result, we discovered Dr. Ross Greene & Dr. Stuart Ablon's program for reducing meltdowns: "Collaborative Problem Solving." We used to think the ends justified the means... but we were wrong and our son suffered greatly as a result. The website is www.explosivechild. com It's a completely different way of seeing our children. As boys and girls who are trying their best with "the brain they have." It's an approach that's all about "doing with" vs. "doing to." Here is some info:

Definition of a Meltdown: A meltdown – like other forms of disadvantageous behavior – occurs when the cognitive demands being placed upon a person outstrip the person’s capacity to respond adaptively.

Explosive/noncompli ant behavior may be best understood as the byproduct of incompatibility between characteristics of a given child and characteristics of his or her environment.

Dr. Greene teaches that children with explosive/noncompli ant behavior have specific learning deficits/disabiliti es in one or more of these core areas, he calls “Pathway Deficits.” Explosive/noncompli ant behavior rarely occurs outside the presence of these pathway deficits – and it is the pathways that set in motion the cognitive skill deficits to the development of oppositional, deviant behavior. Explosive/noncompli ant behavior may best be understood as a failure to progress developmentally (i.e., a learning disability) rather than as a goal-oriented form of behavior. Pathway Deficits (SKILL DEFICITS TARGETED IN APPROACH) Executive skills u Difficulty shifting cognitive set u Difficulty with time and sequencing u Disorganized thinking u Impulsive, non-reflective thinking u Poor working memory (multi-tasking) u Poor separation of affect (staying calm enough to think) u Poor problem-solving Social Skills u Difficulty attending to appropriate social cues/appreciating social nuance u Inaccurate interpretation of social cues u Poor repertoire of social responses u Poor anticipation of the likely outcomes of social responses u Poor sense of how one’s behavior is affecting others u Poor or inaccurate self-perception u Inability to appreciate another’s perspective. Language Processing u Poor categorizing and labeling of emotions u Difficulty communicating one’s needs or problems u Poor language-based problem-solving skills u Inefficient linguistic give and take u Inefficient comprehension of incoming linguistic stimuli Emotion Regulation u Cranky, grouchy, grumpy, irritable u Anxious, nervous, worried, fearful, obsessive u Low energy, fatigued Cognitive Inflexibility/ Adaptability u Concrete, black and white, literal thinking and problem-solving u Insistence on sticking with rules, routine u Preference for predictability does poorly in circumstances of unpredictability u Ignores situational factors Sensory/Motor u Hypersensitive – over sensitive to sound, taste, smell, vision u Hyposensitive – takes a lot of stimulation to sense stimuli u Motor deficits/dysfunctio n ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _______ The Approach The impetus for the Collaborative Problem Solving (CPS) approach came from an awareness that behaviorally difficult children and adolescents are frequently poorly understood; that standard approaches to treatment often do not satisfactorily address their needs (and often worsen their difficulties) ; and that, as a result, many such children have very adversarial interactions with parents, teachers, siblings, and peers and are at risk for poor long-term outcomes. This scenario causes immense distress to all concerned. Standard approaches typically conceive difficult behavior as willful and goal-oriented, suggest that inept parenting practices are the primary factor giving rise to such behavior, and rely heavily on use of reward and punishment programs to induce greater compliance with adult directives. The CPS model – which was first articulated in the book, The Explosive Child – proposes that difficult behavior should be understood and handled in the same manner as other recognized learning disabilities. In other words, difficult children and adolescents lack some crucial cognitive and emotional skills essential to handling frustration and mastering situations requiring flexibility and adaptability. The guiding philosophy of CPS – “Children do well if they can” -- epitomizes this view. Naturally, if a child is lacking crucial cognitive skills, the goal of intervention is to teach those skills. CPS helps difficult children and their adult caretakers, classmates, and siblings, learn to work toward mutually

satisfactory solutions to problems, thereby enhancing flexibility and frustration tolerance in both interaction partners.

I can elaborate further for anyone who is interested.. . Best wishes,Debra

To: AutismBehaviorProbl emsyahoogroups (DOT) comFrom: sandracowgirl@ yahoo.comDate: Mon, 8 Dec 2008 07:00:26 -0800Subject: Opposite behavior problems.... .

Hi I have a 5 yr old son with mild autism and he is in an AI program at one of the local schools. He usually is very mild mannered but the last 4 or 5 months he has had some bad behaviors and lately it has gotten so bad that I hate taking him out in public. I am searching for as much info as I can get....what seems to be the problem is that he wants to control EVERYTHING around him and any negetive words will set him off...like "no" "don't" "stop"...what he does is scream if he cann't get his way and if you say something he says the exact opposite of what you tell him. Example...he wanted my camera and I told him "no it's mom's...get Everett's camera....and he just went balistic. Screaming, grabbing for the camera, saying yes mama's camera.... I finially hid my camera and couldn't take pictures because he was so bad and I couldn't get it in his head that it was off limits. I don't know how to disipline him I guess is what I'm

getting at...how doyou teach without haveing meltdowns?? And he won't listen...

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[Guest guest]

I tried EVERY class and type of medication for Brent. Nothing ever worked consistently. Most of the meds and med combinations made his behavior worse. Risperdal worked at first at reducing aggression, but eventually it stopped working and he gained about 60 pounds. We had a great response with namenda, a med used for Parkinson's, but that too stopped working.

He's now been med-free since 12/06.

-Debra

To: AutismBehaviorProblems From: DantSolo@...Date: Tue, 9 Dec 2008 15:20:55 -0500Subject: Re: Opposite behavior problems.....

i am a single mom too and have only the one 15 year old daughter who has autism. her oppositional behavior became very apparent at the age of 6 and although it's never been diagnostically confirmed, she has oppositional defiance disorder. i have been on the verge of many breakdowns and the only thing that works for my daughter is medication. she still has trouble but it's so much less often and less extreme. contact me off the list if you have any questions.

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Hi do you remember when she started showing signs of this?

Subject: Re: Opposite behavior problems.....To: AutismBehaviorProblems Date: Tuesday, December 9, 2008, 3:20 PM

i am a single mom too and have only the one 15 year old daughter who has autism. her oppositional behavior became very apparent at the age of 6 and although it's never been diagnostically confirmed, she has oppositional defiance disorder. i have been on the verge of many breakdowns and the only thing that works for my daughter is medication. she still has trouble but it's so much less often and less extreme. contact me off the list if you have any questions.

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[Guest guest]

Hey no problem! we all are looking for answers too.

From: Janice <ryansmommy926@ yahoo.com>Subject: Re: Opposite behavior problems.... .To: AutismBehaviorProbl emsyahoogroups (DOT) comDate: Monday, December 8, 2008, 7:15 PM

Wow- everything i just read reminds me of my 3 year old . I wish i had advice for you. I need advice too.

Janice

From: Bierl <sandracowgirl@ yahoo.com>To: AutismBehaviorProbl emsyahoogroups (DOT) comSent: Monday, December 8, 2008 10:00:26 AMSubject: Opposite behavior problems.... .

Hi I have a 5 yr old son with mild autism and he is in an AI program at one of the local schools. He usually is very mild mannered but the last 4 or 5 months he has had some bad behaviors and lately it has gotten so bad that I hate taking him out in public. I am searching for as much info as I can get....what seems to be the problem is that he wants to control EVERYTHING around him and any negetive words will set him off...like "no" "don't" "stop"...what he does is scream if he cann't get his way and if you say something he says the exact opposite of what you tell him. Example...he wanted my camera and I told him "no it's mom's...get Everett's camera....and he just went balistic. Screaming, grabbing for the camera, saying yes mama's camera.... I finially hid my camera and couldn't take pictures because he was so bad and I couldn't get it in his head that it was off limits. I don't know how to disipline him I guess is what I'm getting at...how

doyou teach without haveing meltdowns?? And he won't listen...

[Guest guest]

she always tantrumed a lot and was cranky but at 6 as she became more verbal, the oppositional behavior began to come out. if you said she was pretty she'd yell "no, i'm ugly!" if you said hands down she would put them up and yell "hands up! hands up!" and it just got worse over the years till she started on meds at the age of ten.

Hi do you remember when she started showing signs of this?

Subject: Re: Opposite behavior problems.....To: AutismBehaviorProblems Date: Tuesday, December 9, 2008, 3:20 PM

i am a single mom too and have only the one 15 year old daughter who has autism. her oppositional behavior became very apparent at the age of 6 and although it's never been diagnostically confirmed, she has oppositional defiance disorder. i have been on the verge of many breakdowns and the only thing that works for my daughter is medication. she still has trouble but it's so much less often and less extreme. contact me off the list if you have any questions.

Make your life easier with all your friends, email, and favorite sites in one place. Try it now.

Make your life easier with all your friends, email, and favorite sites in one place. Try it now.