Re: Question about ABA and

[Guest guest]

J

Not a major deal in my opinion. I do not post here much, but our children will

have these meltdowns and as you know so do typical children. The first thing to

realize is that he is 2, yes he is autistic, but he is 2. My 2 year old melted

down recently because I would not let him dive off the couch onto the ottoman.

His reinforcer was jumping off the couch and I took that away.

I agree with you that it is the bigger picture. After almost 5 years of doing

ABA, my son has problem weeks with his therapist. Sometimes they just need a

break and are tired of working. Being tired is part of this fun game and you are

probably doing nothing wrong. Maybe a week off will do both he and his therapist

some good.

We have to understand that these children are just that.....children and we are

putting a lot on them. How many typical two year olds do as much as our kids

did. If my typical two year old had to do two hours of therapy, he would go mad.

From one parent to another, it gets better. Hope this helps or was some

encouragement.

Garrett Butch

" Giving Children with Autism a Fighting Chance "

>

> Subject: Question about ABA and

> To: AutismBehaviorProblems

> Date: Sunday, December 14, 2008, 3:30 PM

> Hi, all.

>

> is having a hard time with ABA, or at least his last

> week was awful.  I love our therapist...as we combine ABA

> with Floortime...so it is fun too.  We do not do discrete,

> as that is not what is best for at present...

>

> He is 2 and 2 is hard anyway...

>

> Last week Lily ran into the therapy room (in our home) when

> was crying...she was home sick and he was mad that the

> therapist took away his reinforcer...anyhow, husband went in

> the room too to get Lily out, and needless to say

> screamed the whole time, and the rest of the week as well. 

> I do not think it was ONE event that made him have a bad

> week...rather I think it is a combination of him being 2,

> him on his way to getting sick, him testing limits etc....

>

> I'm tired.  I feel like this has all I've been

> doing since the day he was born.  Please I'm not

> comparing here, as I know many of you have had many many

> more years at this than I....but I'm tired.  I feel a

> little down...I need to know if  you think it was all Lily,

> or if you think it is a big picture of what is going

> on...The therapist thinks that all of us being on the same

> page is what it will take....Well I see that we are all on

> the same page, as much as humanly possible.  I just want

> for us all to admit that it is the big picture with and

> not to blame it on one stupid incidence....

>  

> Please tell me if I'm wrong...can it take one little

> incidence with these kids to make them rebel for a

> week...even at 2?  It's ok to tell me I'm

> wrong...I've been called worse LOL-------

>

> I pointed this out to the therapist...my view that it is a

> bigger picture--I feel as though I was given a lecture more

> than I was understanding....Again, it's not time to fire

> the therapist, nor is that kind of advice warranted here...I

> just need support, and the pats on the back that you all are

> so good at giving.

>

> Thanks,

> J

[Guest guest]

Hi e

I dont think your wrong. I think ..from the small experience I have

lol..that it takes ASD kiddos a bit longer to " get over " upsetting

experiences and those experiences are sometimes ( usually ) nobodies

fault. Our psychologist even told me that it takes ASD kiddos up to

10 times as long ( at worst ) to recover from being upset.

Also remember that these seemingly bad weeks can make for really

important experiences. Ones that will come more often as they get older.Things are going to happen to upset him no matter how much you protect

him .. and he will get upset..possibly more outwardly extreme than we see as normal.

On a good note..it is GOOD that he is expressing his unhappiness. He is 2 and

doing what 2 year olds do. We all know 2 year olds can be very difficult and

want their way right?

I dont think you could all be on the same page any better than you are.

Possibly the therapist feels bad he didn't have a good week and is

looking for a reason. Sometimes there just really isn't one.

We never want to see our children upset or crying. Sometimes getting over the bumps

in the road causes frustration and crying though. I can handle Eli crying so much

better now after a few of the same type sof weeks you just had..which turns into

some big gains. If he was spending a significant amount of time in therapy

totally protesting and or crying..I would re evaluate...

I just read what I wrote and realized i don't sound very clear. Sorry .. I will e-mail

you later when things calm down over here.

Your such a GREAT Mommy..hold your head up and take a deep breath. And just

know your not alone in this. baby is so lucky to have you

38 and Mom to threeTasha 23..new Mommy ( means I am a Grammy )Casey-Mae 13..sweet as pieElijah 2.. ASD and beautiful

To: AutismBehaviorProblems Sent: Sunday, December 14, 2008 6:30:32 PMSubject: Question about ABA and

Hi, all.

is having a hard time with ABA, or at least his last week was awful. I love our therapist... as we combine ABA with Floortime... so it is fun too. We do not do discrete, as that is not what is best for at present...

He is 2 and 2 is hard anyway...

Last week Lily ran into the therapy room (in our home) when was crying...she was home sick and he was mad that the therapist took away his reinforcer.. .anyhow, husband went in the room too to get Lily out, and needless to say screamed the whole time, and the rest of the week as well. I do not think it was ONE event that made him have a bad week...rather I think it is a combination of him being 2, him on his way to getting sick, him testing limits etc....

I'm tired. I feel like this has all I've been doing since the day he was born. Please I'm not comparing here, as I know many of you have had many many more years at this than I....but I'm tired. I feel a little down...I need to know if you think it was all Lily, or if you think it is a big picture of what is going on...The therapist thinks that all of us being on the same page is what it will take....Well I see that we are all on the same page, as much as humanly possible. I just want for us all to admit that it is the big picture with and not to blame it on one stupid incidence... .

Please tell me if I'm wrong...can it take one little incidence with these kids to make them rebel for a week...even at 2? It's ok to tell me I'm wrong...I've been called worse LOL-------

I pointed this out to the therapist... my view that it is a bigger picture--I feel as though I was given a lecture more than I was understanding. ...Again, it's not time to fire the therapist, nor is that kind of advice warranted here...I just need support, and the pats on the back that you all are so good at giving.

Thanks,

J

[Guest guest]

Yes it does...I am glad to know that even after 5 yrs your child still has tough weeks with his/her meltdown. I guess it's natural...my concern is that the week off we had during Thanksgiving may have gotten him out of the "habit"...anyhow...

Just tonight I wrote the therapist to remind her as well as the others that he is only 2, and while ABA is necessary, we must expect 2 yr old behavior...Our ABA therapist does not have children...and while having children doesn't make one an expert it helps.

Anyhow...thanks for the encouragement...I feel guilty that he is having these demands put upon him, and yet the alternative is not an option...I need to work through my own guilt...that feeling of "he isn't having a childhood" --- I'm totally aware of the alternative, but sometimes it doesn't make it easier...Again I think I go through these stages of grief...one month it's OK, even two months, and then all of a sudden I get this, "is this really happening" feeling....it will pass. I'm still new at this...

Thanks...by the way...he was just on the changing table kicking as my husband was putting on diaper cream...hubby said, "no kick" and as john continued to kick he had a smile on his face.....now that is typical 2!!!!!!!! I remember from the now 5 yr old daughter....

e

To: AutismBehaviorProblems Sent: Sunday, December 14, 2008 5:42:27 PMSubject: Re: Question about ABA and

JNot a major deal in my opinion. I do not post here much, but our children will have these meltdowns and as you know so do typical children. The first thing to realize is that he is 2, yes he is autistic, but he is 2. My 2 year old melted down recently because I would not let him dive off the couch onto the ottoman. His reinforcer was jumping off the couch and I took that away.I agree with you that it is the bigger picture. After almost 5 years of doing ABA, my son has problem weeks with his therapist. Sometimes they just need a break and are tired of working. Being tired is part of this fun game and you are probably doing nothing wrong. Maybe a week off will do both he and his therapist some good.We have to understand that these children are just that.....children and we are putting a lot on them. How many typical two year olds do as much as our kids did. If my typical two year old had to do two hours of therapy, he would go

mad.From one parent to another, it gets better. Hope this helps or was some encouragement.Garrett Butch"Giving Children with Autism a Fighting Chance"> From: Two Blessings <ljdjd1234yahoo (DOT) com>> Subject: Question about ABA and > To: AutismBehaviorProbl emsyahoogroups (DOT) com> Date: Sunday, December 14, 2008, 3:30 PM> Hi, all.> > is having a hard time with ABA, or at least his last> week was awful. I

love our therapist... as we combine ABA> with Floortime... so it is fun too. We do not do discrete,> as that is not what is best for at present...> > He is 2 and 2 is hard anyway...> > Last week Lily ran into the therapy room (in our home) when> was crying...she was home sick and he was mad that the> therapist took away his reinforcer.. .anyhow, husband went in> the room too to get Lily out, and needless to say > screamed the whole time, and the rest of the week as well. > I do not think it was ONE event that made him have a bad> week...rather I think it is a combination of him being 2,> him on his way to getting sick, him testing limits etc....> > I'm tired. I feel like this has all I've been> doing since the day he was born. Please I'm not> comparing here, as I know many of you have had many

many> more years at this than I....but I'm tired. I feel a> little down...I need to know if you think it was all Lily,> or if you think it is a big picture of what is going> on...The therapist thinks that all of us being on the same> page is what it will take....Well I see that we are all on> the same page, as much as humanly possible. I just want> for us all to admit that it is the big picture with and> not to blame it on one stupid incidence... .> > Please tell me if I'm wrong...can it take one little> incidence with these kids to make them rebel for a> week...even at 2? It's ok to tell me I'm> wrong...I've been called worse LOL-------> > I pointed this out to the therapist... my view that it is a> bigger picture--I feel as though I was given a lecture more> than I was understanding. ...Again, it's

not time to fire> the therapist, nor is that kind of advice warranted here...I> just need support, and the pats on the back that you all are> so good at giving.> > Thanks,> J

[Guest guest]

Hi e,

Sorry is having such a hard time in therapy. seems to cycle in therapy often. He will be really great for one therapist and refuse to work for the other one for awhile and then switch. It is very frustrating and I feel horrible for the therapist who is getting all the behaviors and afraid we are pushing to hard. I don't think one instance of Lilly interrupting therapy is truly the cause. If every time he cried someone came in and checked it would challenge the therapists authority but one time and a sibling not a parent really shouldn't make a difference. The schedule changes are really hard for . He just got used to the school routine and then he has Thanksgiving break then he gets used to it again and it is Christmas break then used to it again and Spring break then summer break and we start all over again. I also know that Paige is overly excited right now because

she gets that Santa is coming and we get presents but she wants it to happen NOW. At least 5 times a day she says Santa bringing my Barbie house tonight? I say - Maybe you'll get a Barbie house or maybe something else but not until Jesus's birthday on Dec 25 in about 2 weeks (thank goodness I got her a doll house this year!!). So all young kids are getting excited right now and that may just be a part of it all. I also wanted to say I think its good to have a therapist with a slightly different point of view. You get to look at things from a different perspective and you get new ideas on how to handle things. The therapists I have worked with who look at things like I do aren't nearly as much help. I have usually either tried or considered and rejected the ideas they come up. I know this is a really rambly post but I just wrote 45 Christmas cards and I made at least 250 cookies in the last 2

days. I guess its time for a nice hot bath and a glass of wine! Hope you have a better week! Kellie

Subject: Question about ABA and To: AutismBehaviorProblems Date: Sunday, December 14, 2008, 11:30 PM

Hi, all.

is having a hard time with ABA, or at least his last week was awful. I love our therapist... as we combine ABA with Floortime... so it is fun too. We do not do discrete, as that is not what is best for at present...

He is 2 and 2 is hard anyway...

Last week Lily ran into the therapy room (in our home) when was crying...she was home sick and he was mad that the therapist took away his reinforcer.. .anyhow, husband went in the room too to get Lily out, and needless to say screamed the whole time, and the rest of the week as well. I do not think it was ONE event that made him have a bad week...rather I think it is a combination of him being 2, him on his way to getting sick, him testing limits etc....

I'm tired. I feel like this has all I've been doing since the day he was born. Please I'm not comparing here, as I know many of you have had many many more years at this than I....but I'm tired. I feel a little down...I need to know if you think it was all Lily, or if you think it is a big picture of what is going on...The therapist thinks that all of us being on the same page is what it will take....Well I see that we are all on the same page, as much as humanly possible. I just want for us all to admit that it is the big picture with and not to blame it on one stupid incidence... .

Please tell me if I'm wrong...can it take one little incidence with these kids to make them rebel for a week...even at 2? It's ok to tell me I'm wrong...I've been called worse LOL-------

I pointed this out to the therapist... my view that it is a bigger picture--I feel as though I was given a lecture more than I was understanding. ...Again, it's not time to fire the therapist, nor is that kind of advice warranted here...I just need support, and the pats on the back that you all are so good at giving.

Thanks,

J

[Guest guest]

Kellie thank you for this...you are an encourager for sure...and I love that you bake and drink wine just like I do. lol ---and also that your girl and mine probably want the same castle...and also that you continue to remind her that it is Jesus' birthday too.......lol I swear we must live in the same home....

I just chatted with a friend who has a little man a little older than john (with ASD as well -- she will reamin unamed for privacy)...she made me feel so good....gave me lots of encouragement.

Thank you Kellie for this note-- I agree with your analogy, and think they must go through cycles...it does make sense...when some time passes and I see that this one passes, etc...I'll feel better. I want so much for him to have help and have it now...as well as get and show all the results of it now...Autism doesn't work that way...and it sucks (pardon my french). I adore him.

Lily not only interrupted she heard him crying and as a typical 5 yr old big sister did, she ran in the room to rescue him...this was after about 20 minutes of him crying....then my husband wemt in to get her out, and you can understand the rest....Oh, my...this is not a big deal...but everything feels like it some days...

Off to drink my wine.

Love to all...thank you, thank you, thank you,

e

To: AutismBehaviorProblems Sent: Sunday, December 14, 2008 10:00:03 PMSubject: Re: Question about ABA and

Hi e,

Sorry is having such a hard time in therapy. seems to cycle in therapy often. He will be really great for one therapist and refuse to work for the other one for awhile and then switch. It is very frustrating and I feel horrible for the therapist who is getting all the behaviors and afraid we are pushing to hard. I don't think one instance of Lilly interrupting therapy is truly the cause. If every time he cried someone came in and checked it would challenge the therapists authority but one time and a sibling not a parent really shouldn't make a difference. The schedule changes are really hard for . He just got used to the school routine and then he has Thanksgiving break then he gets used to it again and it is Christmas break then used to it again and Spring break then summer break and we start all over again. I also know that Paige is overly excited right now because

she gets that Santa is coming and we get presents but she wants it to happen NOW. At least 5 times a day she says Santa bringing my Barbie house tonight? I say - Maybe you'll get a Barbie house or maybe something else but not until Jesus's birthday on Dec 25 in about 2 weeks (thank goodness I got her a doll house this year!!). So all young kids are getting excited right now and that may just be a part of it all. I also wanted to say I think its good to have a therapist with a slightly different point of view. You get to look at things from a different perspective and you get new ideas on how to handle things. The therapists I have worked with who look at things like I do aren't nearly as much help. I have usually either tried or considered and rejected the ideas they come up. I know this is a really rambly post but I just wrote 45 Christmas cards and I made at least 250 cookies in the last 2

days. I guess its time for a nice hot bath and a glass of wine! Hope you have a better week! Kellie

From: Two Blessings <ljdjd1234yahoo (DOT) com>Subject: Question about ABA and To: AutismBehaviorProbl emsyahoogroups (DOT) comDate: Sunday, December 14, 2008, 11:30 PM

Hi, all.

is having a hard time with ABA, or at least his last week was awful. I love our therapist... as we combine ABA with Floortime... so it is fun too. We do not do discrete, as that is not what is best for at present...

He is 2 and 2 is hard anyway...

Last week Lily ran into the therapy room (in our home) when was crying...she was home sick and he was mad that the therapist took away his reinforcer.. .anyhow, husband went in the room too to get Lily out, and needless to say screamed the whole time, and the rest of the week as well. I do not think it was ONE event that made him have a bad week...rather I think it is a combination of him being 2, him on his way to getting sick, him testing limits etc....

I'm tired. I feel like this has all I've been doing since the day he was born. Please I'm not comparing here, as I know many of you have had many many more years at this than I....but I'm tired. I feel a little down...I need to know if you think it was all Lily, or if you think it is a big picture of what is going on...The therapist thinks that all of us being on the same page is what it will take....Well I see that we are all on the same page, as much as humanly possible. I just want for us all to admit that it is the big picture with and not to blame it on one stupid incidence... .

Please tell me if I'm wrong...can it take one little incidence with these kids to make them rebel for a week...even at 2? It's ok to tell me I'm wrong...I've been called worse LOL-------

I pointed this out to the therapist... my view that it is a bigger picture--I feel as though I was given a lecture more than I was understanding. ...Again, it's not time to fire the therapist, nor is that kind of advice warranted here...I just need support, and the pats on the back that you all are so good at giving.

Thanks,

J

[Guest guest]

Ok, one more thing...I always feel a step behind...like I should be doing more...not a super woman martyer kind of feeling, but sort of a sense of ugency for ...sort of if I don't help him now and he doesn't get it now...what then...or I need more of this or that, or maybe this one is better etc....it's enough to drive me crazy. I'm real strong...but some days I feel like my mind never stops thinking....

Ok, off to get my wine... lol

e

To: AutismBehaviorProblems Sent: Sunday, December 14, 2008 10:53:30 PMSubject: Re: Question about ABA and

Kellie thank you for this...you are an encourager for sure...and I love that you bake and drink wine just like I do. lol ---and also that your girl and mine probably want the same castle...and also that you continue to remind her that it is Jesus' birthday too.......lol I swear we must live in the same home....

I just chatted with a friend who has a little man a little older than john (with ASD as well -- she will reamin unamed for privacy)...she made me feel so good....gave me lots of encouragement.

Thank you Kellie for this note-- I agree with your analogy, and think they must go through cycles...it does make sense...when some time passes and I see that this one passes, etc...I'll feel better. I want so much for him to have help and have it now...as well as get and show all the results of it now...Autism doesn't work that way...and it sucks (pardon my french). I adore him.

Lily not only interrupted she heard him crying and as a typical 5 yr old big sister did, she ran in the room to rescue him...this was after about 20 minutes of him crying....then my husband wemt in to get her out, and you can understand the rest....Oh, my...this is not a big deal...but everything feels like it some days...

Off to drink my wine.

Love to all...thank you, thank you, thank you,

e

From: Kellie Folkerts <kelliefolkerts@ yahoo.com>To: AutismBehaviorProbl emsyahoogroups (DOT) comSent: Sunday, December 14, 2008 10:00:03 PMSubject: Re: Question about ABA and

Hi e,

Sorry is having such a hard time in therapy. seems to cycle in therapy often. He will be really great for one therapist and refuse to work for the other one for awhile and then switch. It is very frustrating and I feel horrible for the therapist who is getting all the behaviors and afraid we are pushing to hard. I don't think one instance of Lilly interrupting therapy is truly the cause. If every time he cried someone came in and checked it would challenge the therapists authority but one time and a sibling not a parent really shouldn't make a difference. The schedule changes are really hard for . He just got used to the school routine and then he has Thanksgiving break then he gets used to it again and it is Christmas break then used to it again and Spring break then summer break and we start all over again. I also know that Paige is overly excited right now because

she gets that Santa is coming and we get presents but she wants it to happen NOW. At least 5 times a day she says Santa bringing my Barbie house tonight? I say - Maybe you'll get a Barbie house or maybe something else but not until Jesus's birthday on Dec 25 in about 2 weeks (thank goodness I got her a doll house this year!!). So all young kids are getting excited right now and that may just be a part of it all. I also wanted to say I think its good to have a therapist with a slightly different point of view. You get to look at things from a different perspective and you get new ideas on how to handle things. The therapists I have worked with who look at things like I do aren't nearly as much help. I have usually either tried or considered and rejected the ideas they come up. I know this is a really rambly post but I just wrote 45 Christmas cards and I made at least 250 cookies in the last 2

days. I guess its time for a nice hot bath and a glass of wine! Hope you have a better week! Kellie

From: Two Blessings <ljdjd1234yahoo (DOT) com>Subject: Question about ABA and To: AutismBehaviorProbl emsyahoogroups (DOT) comDate: Sunday, December 14, 2008, 11:30 PM

Hi, all.

is having a hard time with ABA, or at least his last week was awful. I love our therapist... as we combine ABA with Floortime... so it is fun too. We do not do discrete, as that is not what is best for at present...

He is 2 and 2 is hard anyway...

Last week Lily ran into the therapy room (in our home) when was crying...she was home sick and he was mad that the therapist took away his reinforcer.. .anyhow, husband went in the room too to get Lily out, and needless to say screamed the whole time, and the rest of the week as well. I do not think it was ONE event that made him have a bad week...rather I think it is a combination of him being 2, him on his way to getting sick, him testing limits etc....

I'm tired. I feel like this has all I've been doing since the day he was born. Please I'm not comparing here, as I know many of you have had many many more years at this than I....but I'm tired. I feel a little down...I need to know if you think it was all Lily, or if you think it is a big picture of what is going on...The therapist thinks that all of us being on the same page is what it will take....Well I see that we are all on the same page, as much as humanly possible. I just want for us all to admit that it is the big picture with and not to blame it on one stupid incidence... .

Please tell me if I'm wrong...can it take one little incidence with these kids to make them rebel for a week...even at 2? It's ok to tell me I'm wrong...I've been called worse LOL-------

I pointed this out to the therapist... my view that it is a bigger picture--I feel as though I was given a lecture more than I was understanding. ...Again, it's not time to fire the therapist, nor is that kind of advice warranted here...I just need support, and the pats on the back that you all are so good at giving.

Thanks,

J

[Guest guest]

Oh e,

I know exactly what you mean about the urgency. When was younger it was so consuming. The mantra of early intervention and if they don't do this by this age the brain may not develop the correct connections etc.. It was very overwhelming. When turned 6 and really hadn't made the progress we had hoped I felt lost. It took me awhile to understand that nothing had really changed. We had made the best decisions we could and I really have no major regrets about anything we have tried. Even if like the DAN doctor and supplements, diet there were no significant changes I know we did what we could. The battle hasn't changed. The degree of involvement and the dedication to doing whatever it takes to help be his best is the same. The only difference is I am a little more relaxed and able to really say "It's okay, He is just not ready for this challenge. We will move on to

something else and get back to it." and mean it. It is okay. He will grow up to be a really good man. I see it in his eyes. All the battles that are coming will make us both stronger. I guess I really want to say. I wish I had understood and accepted that he will grow and change at his own pace a long time ago. I so wanted the best for him that I made myself crazy worrying about and trying to change so many things that were not in my control. I still pray every night for God to heal him and I will for as long as I live or until it happens but I can only challenge and love him. The rest is out of my hands. I can tell by your posts that you do everything you can to for . I hope you can find the place where doing all you can is enough- no matter what is happening today or what is to come. Kellie

From: Two Blessings <ljdjd1234yahoo (DOT) com>Subject: Question about ABA and To: AutismBehaviorProbl emsyahoogroups (DOT) comDate: Sunday, December 14, 2008, 11:30 PM

Hi, all.

is having a hard time with ABA, or at least his last week was awful. I love our therapist... as we combine ABA with Floortime... so it is fun too. We do not do discrete, as that is not what is best for at present...

He is 2 and 2 is hard anyway...

Last week Lily ran into the therapy room (in our home) when was crying...she was home sick and he was mad that the therapist took away his reinforcer.. .anyhow, husband went in the room too to get Lily out, and needless to say screamed the whole time, and the rest of the week as well. I do not think it was ONE event that made him have a bad week...rather I think it is a combination of him being 2, him on his way to getting sick, him testing limits etc....

I'm tired. I feel like this has all I've been doing since the day he was born. Please I'm not comparing here, as I know many of you have had many many more years at this than I....but I'm tired. I feel a little down...I need to know if you think it was all Lily, or if you think it is a big picture of what is going on...The therapist thinks that all of us being on the same page is what it will take....Well I see that we are all on the same page, as much as humanly possible. I just want for us all to admit that it is the big picture with and not to blame it on one stupid incidence... .

Please tell me if I'm wrong...can it take one little incidence with these kids to make them rebel for a week...even at 2? It's ok to tell me I'm wrong...I've been called worse LOL-------

I pointed this out to the therapist... my view that it is a bigger picture--I feel as though I was given a lecture more than I was understanding. ...Again, it's not time to fire the therapist, nor is that kind of advice warranted here...I just need support, and the pats on the back that you all are so good at giving.

Thanks,

J

[Guest guest]

Only a mom who feels like so many of us do will understand how much your email means to me. I'm keeping it forever in a folder I call ...Thank you, Kellie.

J

To: AutismBehaviorProblems Sent: Monday, December 15, 2008 12:02:12 AMSubject: Re: Question about ABA and

[Guest guest]

...my dear friend...I just got this. lol...As always, and we've already talked...thanks so much!!!!

Love to you...

e

To: AutismBehaviorProblems Sent: Sunday, December 14, 2008 6:03:00 PMSubject: Re: Question about ABA and

Hi e

I dont think your wrong. I think ..from the small experience I have

lol..that it takes ASD kiddos a bit longer to " get over " upsetting

experiences and those experiences are sometimes ( usually ) nobodies

fault. Our psychologist even told me that it takes ASD kiddos up to

10 times as long ( at worst ) to recover from being upset.

Also remember that these seemingly bad weeks can make for really

important experiences. Ones that will come more often as they get older.Things are going to happen to upset him no matter how much you protect

him .. and he will get upset..possibly more outwardly extreme than we see as normal.

On a good note..it is GOOD that he is expressing his unhappiness. He is 2 and

doing what 2 year olds do. We all know 2 year olds can be very difficult and

want their way right?

I dont think you could all be on the same page any better than you are.

Possibly the therapist feels bad he didn't have a good week and is

looking for a reason. Sometimes there just really isn't one.

We never want to see our children upset or crying. Sometimes getting over the bumps

in the road causes frustration and crying though. I can handle Eli crying so much

better now after a few of the same type sof weeks you just had..which turns into

some big gains. If he was spending a significant amount of time in therapy

totally protesting and or crying..I would re evaluate...

I just read what I wrote and realized i don't sound very clear. Sorry .. I will e-mail

you later when things calm down over here.

Your such a GREAT Mommy..hold your head up and take a deep breath. And just

know your not alone in this. baby is so lucky to have you

38 and Mom to threeTasha 23..new Mommy ( means I am a Grammy )Casey-Mae 13..sweet as pieElijah 2.. ASD and beautiful

From: Two Blessings <ljdjd1234yahoo (DOT) com>To: AutismBehaviorProbl emsyahoogroups (DOT) comSent: Sunday, December 14, 2008 6:30:32 PMSubject: Question about ABA and

Hi, all.

is having a hard time with ABA, or at least his last week was awful. I love our therapist... as we combine ABA with Floortime... so it is fun too. We do not do discrete, as that is not what is best for at present...

He is 2 and 2 is hard anyway...

Last week Lily ran into the therapy room (in our home) when was crying...she was home sick and he was mad that the therapist took away his reinforcer.. .anyhow, husband went in the room too to get Lily out, and needless to say screamed the whole time, and the rest of the week as well. I do not think it was ONE event that made him have a bad week...rather I think it is a combination of him being 2, him on his way to getting sick, him testing limits etc....

I'm tired. I feel like this has all I've been doing since the day he was born. Please I'm not comparing here, as I know many of you have had many many more years at this than I....but I'm tired. I feel a little down...I need to know if you think it was all Lily, or if you think it is a big picture of what is going on...The therapist thinks that all of us being on the same page is what it will take....Well I see that we are all on the same page, as much as humanly possible. I just want for us all to admit that it is the big picture with and not to blame it on one stupid incidence... .

Please tell me if I'm wrong...can it take one little incidence with these kids to make them rebel for a week...even at 2? It's ok to tell me I'm wrong...I've been called worse LOL-------

I pointed this out to the therapist... my view that it is a bigger picture--I feel as though I was given a lecture more than I was understanding. ...Again, it's not time to fire the therapist, nor is that kind of advice warranted here...I just need support, and the pats on the back that you all are so good at giving.

Thanks,

J